Let Me Reintroduce Myself

Let my reintroduce myself. I felt the Lord tell me to write my story and to share it with everyone as my ministry fundraising letter.

Many of you may know me as the entrepreneur, the self-starter, the girl who was able to make anything happen. But what you don’t know is that when I was young I wanted to be a missionary. When I was 12, I felt the unconditional love of God when someone explained why Jesus died on the cross for me, I couldn’t stop crying. 

Back then I didn’t know what God was going to do in my life. I was born in Germany, moved to Taiwan when I was 5, then LA when I was 8. Growing up I felt a sense of lack and deficiency. I didn’t see my dad from the age of 8 to 18. My parents divorced and my mother brought me and my brother to America. I started selling toys after school at the age of 8. I wanted to share God’s love but I also felt a sense of responsibility to provide for my family. I wanted to become independent more than anything in the world.

So I worked my whole life. I strove hard. I aced tests, got good grades, I achieved and conquered and I was applauded for it. However, I was often exhausted and had unhealthy breaking points. Even at church, I felt like I was never doing enough. I got shingles at the age of 14 and the doctor said I needed to relax.

While I was trying to build my own kingdom and asking God to bless it, so that I could help others….I woke up from a dream while in a hostel in Spain. The Lord told me to quit my career in real estate.

You see, I had pursued many careers but the one thing that I was running away from was ministry. At the age of 28 the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. I was two months late on my rent and my relatives had accused me of being irresponsible, they saw my life as a fragmented failure. I had quit my job in 2011, backpacked to many places but without much “success” to show. I had worked in hollywood, real estate, fashion, teaching, coaching but there I was at the altar crying as God asked me to give my last $200 (intended for rent) to the church. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”

I stopped working as the Lord instructed and He started showing me my identity in Christ. He showed me that I was righteous in Christ Jesus because of HIS finished work on the cross, and not my own works. During those two years of resting I was accused left and right for “being lazy” or not having my life together. I got hit with the most accusations when I turned 30. 

Little did people and my family know that I was going to set billions of people free from condemnation, guilt, shame, accusation. 

He showed me what TRUE grace is. It’s the finished work of Jesus on the cross.

In the last two years God showed me that I was a pastor to the lost sheep and a prophet that would start a fire within peoples’ hearts. Since July 2018, I have been traveling the world (Taiwan, Korea, Japan, South Africa, Thailand, China) sharing my story and praying for people. God leads me to the people He needs me to touch.

I AM a firestarter, I am revivalist, I am the person God picked to spread the message of rest, grace and unconditional love.

I lay hands on people and say “you are enough in God’s eyes, not because of what you do right or wrong, but because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross”. 

There is NOTHING more powerful than seeing people get set free from a lifetime of guilt, “not enough”, shame and condemnation. There is nothing more powerful than sharing with a chinese girl who is stressed out about finding work that GOD has already gone before her to provide the job she needs or to rest in God, there is nothing more powerful than helping a homeless youth and laying hands on his head speaking “you are not an orphan but a child of God” and seeing his eyes light up. 

However, I need your help. Just as Elijah was instructed to ask the widow for a meal, so that when the widow gave she could be set free from the spirit of lack (and because of her trust that God would provide, she never lacked from that day forth…she had more than enough to eat because she gave), I have been instructed to share my story with you and ask for your help.

I touch lives everyday for a living. Would you be part of this revolution of love? The world needs more love. There is an ongoing need as I will be traveling for at least a year more. Where the Spirit leads, there will be graves turned, hearts healed, people saved and changed. I have prayed for people with cancer, heartache, lack, disease, disappointments, strife, and more. I already have countless stories, hundreds of divine encounters and appointments, people coming to Christ etc.

I pray THIS over you! “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

To sow a seed: 
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zelle- Rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Certainty In The Unknown

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Written in the middle of the night

Our life is a series of never ending unknowns.

When will we get married? When will we buy a house? How and when will we raise children?

Where will God call me next?

We want to know because knowing GIVES us a sense of security,

producing it right away,

seeing it right away gives us a sense of safety.

When the truth is only God knows. 

And I have to surrender control and allow God to be in control.

I need to allow God to make a way instead of trying to make a way. Not knowing the NEXT often makes us question

  1. Am I doing enough?

And we often STRIVE for the answer hoping we will find certainty in the NEXT. 

Instead of grasping and living in “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

Jesus paid the price so I can rest knowing WHEN He does tell me the NEXT I will also be enough then. I am enough now and in the future. I will always be enough because of His sacrifice on the cross.

I am not lacking.

I am enough in Christ Jesus.

The frustration then comes when we don’t see change or results in people we’ve been called to help. But the truth is-

Change takes time.

No one changes overnight. Most changes take time, change requires

  1. Revelation
  2. A shift in mindset and thinking
  3. Desire
  4. Commitment

A lot of people stay stuck because they keep going between 2 branches instead of letting go in order to grab unto another.

Like monkeys.

At one point of swinging away from one branch, Tarzan/Xena has to grab unto the next brand. He/she cannot hold 2 at once.

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Sow a seed

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Living Against Cultural Norms

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Living Against Cultural Norms 11/25/2018, 9th day in Shanghai China, 4 months overseas, written in the middle of the night on my notebook.
I’ve gone through more challenges than I would care to experience following Jesus and ministering to people in different countries. It’s easy to hide behind a computer but when you are interacting and living with people on a daily basis you’ll face many objections and challenges.

For one, sexism.
Another, the spirit of intimidation and control (witchcraft).
Another, hurt.
There were times I had to ask people to put their phones on silent mode in the dorm rooms. In a 8 bed dorm room you’ll encounter plenty of people.

When I asked this guy to silence his phone as all kinds of sounds were coming from his phone (BTW the first night I got woken up by someone watching porn on their phone, no headphones), he ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.

He finally got off his bed, which is the top bunk above mine.

When I confronted him, he looked away and pretended I didn’t exist.
Then he stared at me and said “are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?”
I was speechless.
This kind of person exists in this world?
When I told other chinese people about it they said I should just ignore it. They ignore many things. To them it’s part of life- longsuffering.

I believe God calls us to forgive and love our enemies, but He doesn’t call us to be silent.

In fact, a prophet is supposed to speak in the face of opposition, persecution and intimidation.

This week I also showed my past TV appearance videos to some people. They were shocked as I was “skinnier” and “prettier” back then, they said.

I said “I didn’t know who I was back then, I felt that I needed to put on makeup but now I don’t feel the need to put on a “face” for anyone.

But those words still affected me and I had to climb out of the “feeling of not being enough” hole. The truth is I didn’t each much back then out of the fear of lack and the fear of gaining weight. When moments like that occur I have to look at Jesus and reaffirm “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

I had a dream last night I hadn’t changed water in a tank for 3 weeks and the fishes were in a really thick shampooed filled liquid.

I had another dream a woman pastor layed her hands on my head and I started sobbing. When I woke up I could hear myself crying.

The process of loving others is not easy. I find myself angry and hurt at times, laughing at other times.

I share my testimonies and of God’s grace to people who aren’t perfect- like me.
People who are scared of intimacy, vulnerability, letting anotone into their hearts, people who carry a spirit of lack and don’t feel like they are enough, people who feel guilt and shame and sometimes have no capacity to give me any love because they haven’t embraced God’s love.

Even though I experience joy in these friendships, I’m ultimately still a pastor, minister, prophet.

Its not a 2 way street. I may be sharing intimate parts of my heart but I am never to look for belonging or acceptance from people I minister to because my home is God, no one else.

Perhaps the joy I felt caused me to think that I’ve found new friends, but close friends are people who can actually level up with you.

God will humble you and cause your heart to be enlarged, but your heart will also have to process continual rejection and persecution.

Most of the time people don’t understand me but my job is to share what is on God’s heart and know my belonging is in God.

Being a pastor to the lost sheep is not easy.

It’s a calling for people who will surrender to their hearts continually to God.

It’s a calling for warriors.
It’s a calling for those who won’t give up in the face of strong opposition.

Sow a seed

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Spiritual Revolution

PROPHETIC WORD AND DECLARATION-
Here is a MAJOR awakening happening in China. A lot of people I talk to ACTUALLY have vivid DREAMS every single night. They might not believe in God but THE L#RD is speaking. I feel really grateful to be part of this awakening as I’m a fire starter, a match to the revolution.

After talking to 4 guys in the kitchen until 2 in the morning, p4@ying for some of them I had a vivid dream.

THE DEVIL hates what I’m doing.

In the dream people are partaking of a buffet and eating. They eat so much that they fall asleep, when they fall asleep, the devil with blue skin and white clothes choke people to death. Each person is in front of a TV screen in their own cubicle. I start warning people but there is so much distraction, people start talking and trying to SHUT ME UP!

I finally get one person aside and warn them.

In the dream witches dressed in black start chasing me and I feel dizzy in the dream (witchcraft) I yell JESUS JESUS and I can’t wake up but I finally do.

THE TREND right now and the strategy of the ENEMY is to distract people to be so ENTERTAINED by media, that he is systematically BRAINWASHING people into thinking they are living the life they want when in fact, they actually FALL ASLEEP spiritually.

I see people on the PHONES ALL DAY. I see people walking on the subway with their phones, NEVER one minute leaving their phones.

It’s a way to actually numb their emotions.

BUT I SPEAK BREAKTHROUGH IN THE name of J@SUS.

YOU WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO the brainwashing of media in J#sus name. You will be the ONE TO WARN OTHERS.

THE LIGHT WILL GET BRIGHTER IN THE END TIMES but the DARKNESS WILL GET DARKER TOO.

I DECLARE protection over all of God’s CHILDREN in J#SUS name. You need to be the one to SPEAK UP about injustices, about oppression and suppression. THERE IS A MAJOR AWAKENING HAPPENING OVER THE WORLD and WILL YOU BE THE ONE TO STEP UP and STOP HOLDING ONTO what you think will give you SAFETY!?

The world will end one day, will you drown in the distractions of the enemy or BE THAT WARRIOR to fight no matter what?

________________________________________

Last year my mom was going to ask her travel agent about going on a tour to China. I decided to go with her but decided to bring my passport because who knew?

Well, I ended up going.

But guess what, out of nowhere the travel agent said she wanted to give me a free visa to China, she believed that I was really a writer.

I didn’t really understand but I knew PAPA had made a way.

Now I understand that every prophetic word and writing is pivotal and essential to changing minds, hearts.

Do you know of any prophet going to China and prophesying?

Freedom comes from OVERCOMING FEAR.

I will not fear, I will rise and stand as I see the spiritual revolution unfold. Wherever and however G. Leads, I am ready.

Don’t Stay Stuck

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Prophetic Word November 23, 2018
One of the tactic of the enemy is to make you think you’ve found your nest with people you think you belong with. But you know their true character.

They are not your destiny.

Your belonging is in Christ, not in people.
The enemy will send people to make you feel comfortable or familiar and because you’ve felt “alone” for so long you will think “maybe this is where I belong”, but

ARE they pushing you to GROW or allowing you to be STUCK in mud?

True friends will pull you out of the mud and not allow you to stay in it or even allow you to drown in mud.

Beward of wolves in sheep skin, they might even be your family members or friends.
A true prophet will not say what you want to hear but tell you the truth. A desire to fit in and be accepted by those around you will be detrimental to your growth.
You belong to God.
You are already accepted and approved by God.
Your only way is forward.

Beware of those who want to entertain you with mud (the past) because God wants you to move forward.
You must push through the familiar voices, they are distractions from your destiny and true freedom.

Beware of those who just say what you want to hear or give advice that allow you to stay stuck.
Not everyone will make it out. Some will stay in the mud.

You don’t dim your light to accommodate peoples’ darkness, you shine your light- even brighter to bring change to darkness.

 

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a path from God. Sometimes the more you find your freedom the more you should face and confront difficult conversations and blockages. 

Because your path to FREEDOM comes with battles.

 

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Birthing In The Secret Place + Promotion Is Coming

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The Lord told me to write about this.

When a woman is pregnant, the fetus grows inside her womb to protect the baby from outside threats. Her womb is like a covering, a place of protection, a secret place that no one else can enter. 

I felt like our DREAMS are the same. We need a secret place to birth our dreams. Whatever God has told you, you can’t share with just anyone.

I had many years of learning to walk in the secret place. I had many dreams, dreams like “I’m going to be like Asian Oprah” or “I’m going to travel the world speaking to people”, some dreams were a source of ridicule and jokes for my relatives. They looked at my life and couldn’t see any hint of “success”.

The truth is God was working in my heart.

He started me off this way- asking me to pray or pastor just one person.

This person could be in the gym, in a swimming pool, in the movie theater, in a bathroom, on the streets, in the park. 

Many of us want a pulpit or a stage, but we refuse to love the one person God has put in our lives. That is why God sent me home to love the one person I thought was the MOST difficult to love, my own mother. I spent 2 years zipping my mouth when I wanted to scream, I spent 2 years learning patience.

I learned to submit and to obey God in the hard places. Am I perfect? No. I learned to apologize when I didn’t want to, I learned to communicate my pain even if she might not understand.

I sense this on God’s heart- when He calls you and  you answer, will you do it without recognition? Will you do it in secret? Will it be enough to hear Him say “well done servant?”

In due time He surely rewards those who obey Him- Joseph obeyed God by interpreting a fellow inmates’ dreams. He did what he could, where he was situated. He didn’t wait for God to put him in Pharaoh’s presence before he did what he was called to do. 

The worse thing was that one of the inmates actually forgot about him “ The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.” Genesis 40:23

How many of you have been forgotten by someone? Maybe you did something nice and that person didn’t choose to promote you in the job or in your life. Maybe they actually turned on you. But the LORD NEVER FORGETS, even if one person forgets you! 

“When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream” Genesis 41:1

“Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. 10 Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. 11 Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 12 Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. 13 And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.”

“So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon.When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.”

“Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace,and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.”

I felt such a leap in my spirit as I reread this story.

The LORD wants you to know that HE SEES YOU and whatever you’ve been doing faithfully HE WILL reward you.

But first, you must believe you are worthy.

The truth is I battle with unworthiness, sometimes not feeling good enough, sometimes feeling discouraged by the voices of the enemy, sometimes I experience headaches and all forms of attacks, I experience bad dreams, sometimes I feel like I can’t go on anymore, I feel lack, I worry about how the future will unfold, I worry about money, I worry about how God will provide….

BUT like yesterday, I had to press in. Whether it’s praying in tongues or reading out loud truths about who I am, whether it’s asking people to pray for me, I had to press in.

It’s a spiritual warfare, those voices, those diseases, those sicknesses, unbelief.

But you must choose to battle in the secret place. 

GOD I believe, but help my unbelief.

I’ve been a pioneer, when God called me, I didn’t know how I would ever survive. There were tests, emotional wounding, dishonor, humiliation. I was driven to the walls, I thought I was going insane. I said God I can’t take this anymore. I’m following you but I have to bear persecution, this is inhumane. I’m following you, but I have to be humiliated, shamed, accused? 

But 2 years later, after I obeyed when He said “sell everything and follow me”, I am sitting in South Africa and I’ve ministered in 4 countries already. I don’t speak behind pulpits, I don’t speak on stages.

I hold hands with janitors in bathrooms and pray for them. I lay hands on homeless people, I’ve told my testimony in churches (in unofficial ways, in organic ways), I’ve prayed for pastors and cleaners, I walk up to strangers in restaurants.

Today if you are going through battles of your own, read this out loud.

I am a child of God. I am not an orphan. The father is taking care of me. I am not alone. He is with me always. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will Provide and protect me. Hosts of angels are watching over me.

Will you birth in the secret place? God is protecting you and that is why you may not be getting the recognition and honor you deserve. God is also testing your heart, are you doing it out of pure love or out of selfish desire? Are you loving people to get something back or are you TRUSTING GOD to recompense you?

And also it is important to protect your BABY (DREAMS) from people who will destroy or abort it. It might mean not talking to certain relatives for a while, cutting ties with certain friends, not watching movies or tv shows that will hurt the conception and growth of your dreams, it may mean sacrificing or surrendering a job or a savings account for the sake of building His kingdom, it may mean moving to another city.

Would you prayerfully consider sowing a seed today? I’ve been ministering since July in Taiwan, Korea, Japan and South Africa. I will be going to China next. Funds are needed for me to continue ministering and praying for people on the ground. 

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38 I believe this verse truly as I have seen it in my own life. When I gave, I saw the Lord give more abundantly to me.

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Street pastor and prophet, Rebekka

May He bless you with peace and joy. You are enough in Christ Jesus. You are not lacking. You are whole. In Jesus name Amen.

PROPHETIC WORD FOR WOMEN!

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The enemy has silenced women for so long with guilt, shame, accusation and intimidation BUT WHEN YOU know you are pure and righteous by the BLOOD OF JESUS you will RISE SO HIGH. YES I JUST FEEL LIKE GOD IS SAYING COME OUT OF HIDING!!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY PROVED IT ON THE CROSS. YOU don’t have to defend yourself because I AM YOUR GREAT DEFENDER!

RISE and SHUT THE ENEMY UP.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT. YOU don’t have to SUGAR COAT IT because I’ve PAID THE PRICE FOR IT!

You deserve it. YES I JUST SILENCE THE VOICE OF INTIMIDATION AND GUILT. NO YOU ARE NOT GUILTY OF THE PAST, YOU MAY HAVE MADE MISTAKES BUT JESUS has WASHED YOU CLEAN.

YES you are NOT AN ORPHAN, you are a mighty child of GOD! People will judge you or accuse you but your LAWYER JESUS says “you are righteous by the blood of Jesus, there is NO condemnation for those that are in CHRIST JESUS”.

It’s time to remove the shackles of fear and guilt.

YES GOD. WE DECREE AND DECLARE there will BE NO MORE OCEANS to drown you but THE LORD will part the seas for you! I PRAY acceleration and I DECLARE all provisions and PEACE BE onto you. YOU ARE ENOUGH, you are NOT LACKING. I PRAY THE DOORS OF HEAVEN be OPEN, I PRAY everything that has YOUR NAME ON IT be RELEASED IN PERFECT TIMING.

YES LORD we AGREE.

Every weapon against you be destroyed in the NAME OF JESUS, every setback, every discouraging thought, every stronghold of depression or oppression be loosed from your mind and heart in JESUS NAME! Every anxious thought be replaced with YOUR LOVE JESUS!

Only YOU Lord can set us free. And you have already done that on the cross. SO WE CLAIM it, we inherit it as HEIRS on this CONTRACT signed by your BLOOD JESUS!

YES WE ARE HEIRS AND NOT ORPHANS! WE inherit every rightful authority, provision, blessing, restoration of relationships, right relationships, alignment of ministry and life calling, angels of protection and provision, health, and more in Jesus name!

 

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The Holy Spirit Vs. The Religious Spirit

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Often times when I ask to pray for people on the streets, bathrooms, malls, restaurants people ask me “what church do you go to?” as if a church would give me legitimacy. Some people ask me if I went to seminary, as if seminary gives someone legitimacy.

Without the holy spirit, it doesn’t matter what qualifications you have, you are still operating from the flesh and from a fleshly mind. 

For some reason people think that if you are with a specific church, then you are a true prophet. WRONG. There are plenty of false prophets that are in megachurches, that lead megachurches and are not filled with Jesus or the holy spirit.

The only thing that qualifies you is the fact that Jesus died on the cross for you and He paid for it, it’s the HOLY SPIRIT in me that heals sicknesses, diseases, heartaches, identity. It’s the blood of Jesus that heals, nothing else.

It’s not a name of the church that heals the sick, it’s not what theology I know that heals the broken hearted, it’s the name of Jesus and those who have a true relationship with Jesus.

It is the religious spirit that wants to disqualify people from walking in their calling to simply touch peoples’ lives and hearts by the pure unadulterated love of God. 

And the Holy Spirit can do whatever, whenever.

When God gave me a dream this week about China, I didn’t hesitate. Yes, I thought He initially wanted me to go to Paris in December, but when the Holy Spirit speaks, it doesn’t what preconceived notion you had, you move with Him.

So I booked a ticket to China. And I realized that God was speaking very loudly even before this dream. I had been staying in an airbnb where the owner had moved to China, someone from 10 years ago emailed me and asked if I was going to China anytime soon, I was craving Chinese food having been in South Africa for a month, the people around me were being called to China.

When God moves, you must move with Him. Before I went overseas, the Lord told me I was going to China as well, but I thought it was going to be later (2019) but there are people I need to pray for and timing is EVERYTHING.

There are so many people I would not have been able to reach or pray for if I didn’t obey God. People I prayed for just had job interviews, some just lost their jobs, some needed finances, some had broken hearts and severe backaches, hereditary diseases, some were running away from God’s calling. 

Some people, a few months after are no longer stuck. Some are living their calling, some have answered the call to ministry, some have learned more about their identity in Christ, but there are hundreds, even thousands of lives touched because I chose to say yes.

I’ve prayed for people in bathrooms, on buses, in restaurants, everywhere. It’s been a ride.

I am currently doing a fundraiser to raise funds for my on going ministry. Specifically I had to fund most of the trip on my own and when God finally told me to do a fundraiser, I realize that what I’m doing, is going to save lives, transform lives, change the world.

If you feel led to sow a seed and invest in the kingdom- please click the links below. If you have been touched and transformed by what I write and produce, consider contributing. THIS is fertile ground. (These 2 links should be fee free to donate, God bless you and may He multiply your seed by a hundred!)

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Prophetic decree! Season of birthing! Watch video for prophetic word and decree.

The Making Of A Prophet

 

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“But I tell you the truth, no prophet is accepted in his own hometown.”- Luke 4:24

I don’t wish that anyone be called by God to be a prophet, pastor, evangelists. What you see in America is not what being called actually looks like, most people don’t tell you what the process looks like to be called. 

The biggest struggle I’ve had to go through is being rejected, by everyone. The biggest lesson I learned in being rejected is that “I am worthy, I am enough”.

I’m going to tell you what it actually looks like to be called. Growing up in a conservative church, people didn’t really believe me when I told them that “God told me”. I had a ear for God early on, but didn’t know it was being spirit filled.

I listened and will follow Him where He was leading. I got booted out essentially by the conservatives. Later on I tried to pursue success in the world and failed miserably as God closed all the doors. He said “You are a pastor to the lost sheep”. 

Now He also called me after my failed attempt to be successful in the world to “sell everything and follow Him”. I proceeded to returned my leased car, my apartment that  I was already two months behind in rent, and I basically did everything that a model citizen wouldn’t do.

After years of being “independent” I moved back home with my mom. I felt like I was losing everything I built my life on. I lost my career, my laptop crashed, I didn’t have a sim card for 3 years.

The accusations got louder and louder- “what are you doing with your life? You are almost 30. Stop wasting your life. Get a real job”.

Well, God told me very specifically to rest and to follow His voice. So there I was praying for people on buses and on the streets. I didn’t know that my life would essentially look like that NOW but I am praying for so many more people on a daily basis.

You see, I looked like I was living an irresponsible life but I was setting people free from fear and bondage, I was healing backaches and speaking identity into orphaned hearted people. But that didn’t seem to matter to my mom. 

But in those 2 years God restored more of our relationship.

So I lost everything but I gained the Lord. Jesus.

All my vices suddenly disappeared as the Lord started healing everything wounded in me. I stopped wanting to drink whereas in my early twenties I often found myself drowning my pain in alcohol or going out with people.

Now people offer me alcohol and I just don’t want it. It’s not because of self-discipline but because God has took away any desire so that I can be sober minded.

It says to be vigilant for the enemy is always prowling to attack, this is true. I let my spiritual guard down when I am drunk. But now I am drunk with the SPIRIT of GOD. And it is INCREDIBLE.

In 2014 I also broke up with my ex and I stopped dating. Suddenly I didn’t need attention from men anymore. THAT WOUND HEALED. The Lord did it. You see even if a nice looking guy shows up I can read his mind and his spirit!

So what did the process look like? LOTS of tears and rejection. Being rejected by your own relatives, friends, being judged about your life. Traveling to places and sometimes not knowing what I would eat or if I had money to eat, being laughed at when I get in front of a stranger in front of a big crowd of people, being ridiculed. 

YES, people say “no” all the time when I ask to pray for them. Yes, people laugh at me.

When I tell people I’m a prophet, some laugh. Some people who don’t believe in Jesus laugh and ridicule me. Some people think I’m saying it to be boastful and they attack me.

But you know what I say “I don’t wish it upon anyone because the cost has been great”.

Now more than ever what I pray over people is this “you are enough in Christ Jesus, there is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. You are righteous by grace and not by works”. This SETS PEOPLE FREE because they are no longer under judgement, but FREEDOM. 

I had to go through all that to know what IDENTITY MEANS.

The crazy thing is that the farther I went from Los Angeles, the more I was actually honored as a prophet and as a human being. Above is a picture of my brother in Christ. I have received such encouragement from people I have met here, in Japan and in Korea. Though I was once dishonored and rejected, God is restoring honor to me.

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The Path of Intimacy

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The path of intimacy with Jesus requires that He prunes you (to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth- Mirriam Webster).

Jesus will prune you of things that are not of Him, unhealthy soul ties, attachment to things or status, a need for external things to validate your identity. 

He does this not because He is mean, but because He is good. First He has to prune you from what you think you need.

Because He is ALL that you need. And He is the only one that will complete you so that you become enough, whole, NOT lacking. 

He wants to give you ALL things, He wants to bless you and spoil you.

But He cannot do it when you are wanting it out of lack. Because in Christ you are not lacking. 

Imagine if you felt like there was something missing within you, so you go searching for it- in a relationship, in your career, in your finances, in material things, in fame, in status, in reputation, in how others view you….

You ask God to answer your prayers.

“God please give me this and that, please give me a husband, please please….because I don’t have enough and I am not enough….ultimately, because I don’t believe that you are enough”.

God wants to give you EVERYTHING, but He will make sure that LACK belief is out of your system before He blesses you. He wants that blessing to be a representation of WHO YOU ARE, not who you are not.

Ultimately, He wants you to know who He is in the process. He wants you to know His heart for you, He wants to sing over you versus you getting what you want and then walking away, then desperately praying for Him to deliver you when you are in a bind.

Are you willing to be solely committed to Jesus, as His bride? (even if you are a man)

Do you believe He will never leave nor forsake you? Will you walk with Him in the process instead of running away or only coming to Him when you are desperate?

A wife trusts, relies on her husband. Jesus who is whole and complete made you whole and complete with His sacrifice on the cross. You are not lacking one thing. 

When you believe you are whole, all things will be added unto you. Everything you could ever imagine and much more.