Saving Myself For Marriage

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Hi folks,

In the last few months God has continued to heal my heart of male/father issues. He has brought me a lot of men to minister to. Young men who have been molested, and because of that, became very sexual growing up. I always share how I am waiting until marriage to have sex. I am very open about it now. I didn’t use to be. Some woman called me “different” and didn’t want to carpool with me from Vegas to LA on a tradeshow I worked at while I was doing fashion. She didn’t tell me directly, she avoided me and told other people. 

I was outcasted because of my choice to wait. 

I am praying for Madison of The Bachelor. She is one woman who has openly said to Peter that she will not marry him if he chooses to sleep with the other woman on the show. Peter also grew up Christian but does not have the same convictions.

I have told countless men who have tried to be with me, that because they don’t have the same conviction or commitment to God, I do not want to be with them.

There is only one man for me.

I will not compromise. 

Because I am worth it. 

I dabbled in promiscuity before, though still abstaining from intercourse. At that time I was broken and hurt, I was trying to get attention from man, I was heart broken over my ex. I didn’t know how to communicate or have real relationships. I understood lust, I understood the feeling of being touched by a man. But I didn’t understand true love. 

Now I understand the love of God and my worth, I can sense the spirit of seduction.

There has been a spirit of lust trying to pull me down my whole life. I am pretty sure my dad had a porn addiction because he never expressed himself emotionally and after my parents’ divorce. I found a sheet of paper with nude photos of women when I was in Taiwan. I burned it and started praying. But that impure spirit still haunted me. So men kept trying to hit on me (you know the creepy vibe? that’s a spirit of lust), old men kept trying to follow me.

It’s like they could sense I was a virgin.

God has given me victory.  I’ve learned the power of no when it comes to physical boundaries. Because I deserve the best. I will not compromise.

I share with young men who have been cheated on, men who are Christians and Catholics about my decision to wait. I want to share with men that it is okay to wait, that they don’t have to give into societal pressures to sleep around. 

Love is MUCH more than physical touch, it is emotional understanding, patience, gentleness, forgiveness. 

Satan wants to destroy your sense of worth through sex.

Of course if you’ve already had sex you are still righteous in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice.

But Satan has been wanting to destroy how you feel about yourself since the fall. If you are spirit filled, you will notice how you feel after you have physical interactions with a guy/girl (like a one night stand, etc). You will feel drained and tired, you don’t feel loved, you feel used, you feel dirty. 

Satan loves to attack you with a spirit, then make you feel guilty about it.

If you feel guilt about anything, speak “I am righteous in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”.

When you are transformed by the Holy Spirit, you no longer want the things of this world. It’s not conditioning or controlling yourself, it comes out of a deep desire for the things of God. But that means you have to be submitted to surrendering to Jesus. You can tell if someone is not fully healed or submitted.

It does not mean they are less than, but if you have convictions about things like sex, you’ll start to discern whether someone is really committed to a love relationship with God. 

Sex before marriage is lust driven. It literally means that a spirit of lust comes upon you. I pray that the Lord will heal you of an sexual wounds or heart wounds.

No matter what your past looks like you are pure in God’s eyes because of Jesus’ sacrifice that makes you white as snow. No matter what you did yesterday God only sees Jesus in you. 

But I want to share this with you, especially young men and women who feel pressured to be promiscuous because of what society says.

If you like to join my group, I’ve just started one: “Saving Myself For Marriage”.

Sow a seed to this ministry. You will surely be rewarded! God bless you!

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https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

If you’d like to get coaching for relationships, career, life, learning to set boundaries, etc. please send me a message!

There Is Nothing To Do, Nowhere To Be

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The last week I have been wrestling with a feeling of restlessness. You know when you plan charts and goals in your mind but instead God says “rest”. Most people think resting is easy, but actually it’s really difficult. Sometimes you compare yourself, you see celebrities and insta-famous people “progressing” and you think to yourself “what am I doing?” as if your life is measured by fame and money.

Resting is difficult because society drills “you’re not there yet, you’re not enough” into your mind. It’s everywhere, this message.

This message is the voice of the slave master, the devil himself.

But God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

The slave master has entered the minds of spiritual people too by telling them to go to yoga everyday, and if not, they can’t enter rest. The slave master has told people of faith to serve like slaves at churches or temples, to the point of exhaustion….I was there once, when I was a teenager. I would go to church at 7am, “do worship practice”, teach sunday school at 9am, lead worship at 11am, then I had youth group leader leadership meeting sometimes until 5pm.

This slave mentality took me through my time in the fashion industry, into entrepreneurship, but finally, God set me free.

He taught me how to be a child again.

Up until then, I defined my worth by how much I could accomplish. Growing up in a single parent home made me want to achieve more, somehow I needed to prove myself and help my family. If I could become someone or something, then I would be worth loving. 

This slave mentally has the whole world bound.

Most Christians don’t even understand the Gospel because it is attached with “and make sure you serve at church”. 

Not everyone is called to serve at church. Not everyone is called to serve yogurt at snack time.

If the Gospel means Jesus has freed you 100% and totally, you are a free person. You don’t need to do anything out of obligation, if it’s not desired in your heart, it’s not from God because God wouldn’t force you to do anything.

“Well, I should want to feed the homeless right?”

No, because God does not give the same desires to everyone. Maybe you are called to write music because it will heal souls. There is no better way or prescribed path for everyone.

I personally love traveling but I realize that traveling is often a way for me to feel like a free person, that anything is possible….that I am not bound by time, money, or location.

But I can feel free now by realizing that “there is nothing to do, nowhere to be”- why?

Because Jesus paid it all.

It is finished.

There is nothing to do because it is finished. I am complete. I am not lacking, I am whole in Christ Jesus. When God sees me, I’m not a work in progress, I’m righteous and whole.

There is nowhere to be because going there wouldn’t make me more whole or complete, I am complete now. 

It has taken me 30 years of my life to truly grasp this.

I received Jesus into my heart when I was 12, but I grew up going to church. Now, I realize most of what I saw was just a bunch of people trying to please God not knowing that God already accepted them via Jesus’ finished work on the cross. 

This slave mentality exists inside and outside the church. It is a prominent culture in America.

This message of “you’re not enough” will lead to death.

The message of “you are enough because Jesus redeemed you” will lead to life. This message of grace will liberate you and break the chains of slavery that torments your mind.

If you don’t live by grace, you will work and create out of lack and lack is just exhausting. Living out of “you’re not enough” will suck you dry.

When you rest in God, you are drawing out of eternal abundance. There is never a lack of supply.

I pray that these words will set your soul free.

 

The Father’s Love Will End Your Search for “Enough”

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For many of us, we are taught that “one day you will be enough”.

One day when you find your prince charming and get married, then you’ll be enough (because someone wants you and find you valuable).

One day when you establish your career and make a lot of money, then you’ll be enough (because your worth is defined by the commas in your account).

One day when you contribute to the world by doing philanthropic work, then you will be enough (because your worth is defined by how much you give to the world).

One day when you move out and become independent, needing no one, then you’ll be enough (because you are born a burden to your parents and you are NOT enough when you are born).

All of those, a lie.

Because the search for enough is never ending in this world’s system, if you choose to live in that realm of reality. 

The search ends when you accept and believe that God has made you enough, that you are whole because Jesus took the place for your “not enough” and credited to your account who He is- perfect and “enough”. 

You are, perfect and enough in His eyes. 

There is something settling about finding your place in God’s embrace, when He speaks over you “you are enough”.

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Even though your parents, your surroundings, your peers might not find you to be enough, you sink deeper into His unending “enough”. There is an overflowing enough where your burdens are light and your responsibilities little.

All He has called you to is to rest and allow your burdens to become His.

Those burdens seem to vanish quickly, sinking into His love.

Why is it that many of us are cute and unconditionally loved when we are children, but when we grow up it seems that love is limited? 

Because people encounter disappointments after disappointments in their own life…..and they push hopes and dreams on you, hoping that you’ll BE THE ONE to make them happy. 

They hope that MAYBE you’ll give them the hope they need to continue dreaming and living, maybe you’ll be the one to save them.

The truth is only God can do that. Yes, you can give people hope, you can encourage them, but the true responsibility falls to the maker. 

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Who is the only one that knows you intimately, the one who formed you in your mother’s womb. We find peace and relaxation in His arms, knowing that He is taking care of us. Like a baby, we can sleep in peace and wake in peace.

We understand that it is His job to feed us, to nurture us, to protect us. 

But many of us did not grow up that way, so we continue to live in fear. We live like orphans without a daddy. We become independent in the physical and material realm but still hoping that someone will tell us “I’m proud of you”, “you’ve made it”, and “you are worthy of my love”. 

The truth is, no amount of verbal encouragement will ease the pain and void of not enough…only the embrace of the Father…can we find true ease. 

 

“So it’s okay to come out of hiding now, I know you have been through hurts and disappointments.

I know people have failed you, but my love will never fail you. I will guide you and protect you. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will not disgrace or humiliate you. You are safe under my wings and protection. Come out my hidden ones. It is your time to shine. Come out my beautiful children. I am your Father. I will never hurt you. Come out beautiful children of mine, kings and queens of this earth and the heavenly realms”.

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