Walk In The Unknown

I moved a lot growing up so I was constantly walking into the unknown. Not by choice though. Me in Germany.

Most of our society walks in the known. The known is comfortable, safe, without unknowns but God constantly pushes us to trust Him to walk with Him in the unknowns.

So that’s where though we think we are “resting” often we are submitting to fear. It’s sounds strange because of course some people seriously need to rest but most people sit in front of the television as the world passes by.

Watching tv is not resting. Yes, there are seasons of that but even in this season I feel wary thinking about the future.

I’m back in LA but heading out June 24.

I’m not sure what to expect and to be honest I’m a little traumatized by everything I went through this year ministering on the road. I’m not sure if I ever want to experience it again yet I know God is calling me to a higher level of faith.

I kind of hate that He has called me to this life.

I keep telling Him “I can’t do it”.

I can’t go on anymore.

I feel numb.

And that’s my heart wanting to be comfortable, to succumb to fear.

Jesus- You can do anything you set your mind to.

Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to live a boring life?

Jesus- then you’ll be bored.

Okay then.

God I kind of don’t want to trust you.

Jesus- you’re not an orphan, you’re a child of God.

Me- but I went through a lot of things I didn’t really want to go through.

Jesus- but you got through it.

Me- but I have bad memories from it and I’m mentally trying to protect myself from future instances of a) being severely accused of or rejected by people I minister to b) having to be on the streets and having to ask judgmental people for help c) the list goes on.

Jesus- you are enough.

Don’t settle for the past or even think about the past. Move forward.

Me- My body and psyche can’t seem to move forward.

Jesus- let go and focus on me. Let go of every hindering memory and focus on me. Focus on my goodness. The enemy wants you to focus on the bad experiences. I am a good father – do you trust me?

Me- no not right now. But I’m still following you- I just don’t feel the joy.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

2 Corinthians 4:8

This is my process. I know it’s been a hard week for some of you and in the battle it’s easy to lose joy so I pray right now God will bring back joy into your heart and if you need to cry- cry. I pray encouragement over your hearts.

I will be heading to Taiwan then China. I’m not sure what God has in store but I know most missionaries are getting kicked out of China so it helps that I’m independent in the sense that I’m just going where the spirit leads instead of being stationed like most missionaries.

I am now raising funds for what’s ahead. Flight tickets and living fees. Would you consider partnering with me in bringing Christ to the world?

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Where Is Home? Finding Stability in The Chaos

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I decided to write because I started sobbing. Why I was sobbing…Let me explain.

I just got back to LA but instead of the normal LA life, I found myself being called by God to minister everyday. I was pushed and forced out of my comfort zone (in LA). One day I was going 40 miles out on a bus, another day I’m traveling. I’ve been spending almost 4 hours on public transportation everyday. God has led me to the people He wanted me to relay messages to.

Like today I got to meet a father and son in the wee early morning. I felt so at home with them. My heart felt alive. 

The reason I was even going to Calabasas was because I saw an audition to be a rainbow hair model. I really want rainbow hair. However, I didn’t like the idea of waking up early but I felt that God wanted me to go.

So the night before I said “God if you want me to go, then wake me up”. I didn’t set an alarm.

At 4:30 am God woke me up with a revelation and I blogged about it (the previous post). At 5:30 am I decided to go back to sleep…however God said “wake up, go now!”

I was like “fine”. I took a bus around 6:15 am and when I got to Downtown I was at the bus stop when a man and his son asked me if the bus stopped there, I said yes. Immediately I felt a connection. God said to sit next to him so we talked the whole way. He showed me the book he wrote and published on amazon. He said he directed films and his son (8 years old) said he wanted to make money and he found an audition for him.

We happened to be going to the same studio.

Strangely, I said I started making money when I was 8 years old too, selling toys after school. I said usually the reason kids want to make money is because they feel insecure, like I did at the time. I saw my mother struggling and I wanted to help by being independent at a young age.

God has a strange way of connecting us to people with similar experiences. Then he told me how he drove a bus and sold t-shirts out of it, he traveled throughout the US. I prayed over him and said that in God’s eyes he is not lacking and that he needed to speak his truth without fear of what others thought of him. He told me how he was adopted but that aristocrats and celebrities always gravitate towards him because of his authenticity.

I really loved meeting them and enjoyed spending time with them.

After I arrived 2 hours early, I waited around for my audition. God kept telling me that I would be the only one and sure enough I was the only one that showed up for the audition. However, because of my hair length I was not picked.

I felt like a failure for some reason…maybe it was the way the lady asked for more photos of me saying “I need to see what you look like” while she was obviously standing in front of me…LIKE HELLO CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE?

My mind raced- “she must be racist, she must not think I’m pretty enough, is it because of my growing lower chin, is it because I have no makeup on?”

I felt so depleted and disappointed…”I thought you said I would get picked!” I said to God. No answer. But deep down I knew that God was somehow protecting me. It was just an off-spirit about that place.

At first I sat in one place hoping she’d change her mind. I just really wanted rainbow hair. I don’t know why. Maybe rainbows represent promises fulfilled and maybe I felt like I hadn’t seen that many promises fulfilled. Sure I’ve ministered in 14 countries in the last year and have seen OTHER PEOPLES’ promises fulfilled, but for some reason I felt that I was STILL waiting for mine to be fulfilled. 

So I thought “I was the only one, I had no competition, yet I still didn’t get what I want?” That’s how I felt. The lady had to tell me “you’re free to go” before I could get myself up.

I went to the bathroom and started crying. 

I was disappointed. I was tired. It felt like my life, and I know it was the enemy of course...but I was just tired of being disappointed you know? Whether it came to a potential suitor not ending up being my future husband, the relationship not working out….or feeling like I had a home and then going back to LA and being accused by my mother instead of celebrated. 

My heart felt really tired.

Again? It felt.

Then I nodded off in the bus heading back to Downtown. I saw a lot of drunk people, high people on the bus. I smelled weed, I saw drunk people hitting on women. This is LA, but it felt foreign. “It’s gotten worse” I thought as I sat in the crowded Orange Line Bus to North Hollywood.

It occurred to me….”Hollywood is full of orphans looking for approval”. 

The guy with a guitar strapped to his heart in the bus.

A guy with golden chains around his neck while he spoke to his friend on the phone, “everyone who is anyone is out in Hollywood trying to make it”.

God said “well you are my daughter and you don’t need anyone’s approval”. That’s when God really set me free because a part of my heart was still hoping to make it in Hollywood (to share the light of Jesus). I thought I needed to appear in movies and tv shows to be influential but God was saying “I don’t need that, I don’t need a network, I don’t need a tv channel, I will do it my way through you”. 

You don’t need whoever you think you need.

I think that’s why people end up bowing down to people versus God. They think they need the job, the paycheck, the husband, the abuser, the relationship, the friend….but you don’t need anyone or anything but God. Because whoever you are codependent on usually begin to abuse or lord over you. That’s what I talked about in my last post, Sarah versus Hagar

So everything seemed to be piling up. In addition, after just coming back to LA, living a life of ministry on the road, I’m still doing ministry here. Then God says “it’s time to go” again. I leave LA June 24. I just follow His spirit everyday. My flesh is screaming, I don’t want to!!! I want to live a normal life!! But my spirit is like “YES, take me!” 

Because of the hardships and challenges I’ve gone through this year coming back actually feels like coming off the battlefield in the army.

I feel like a soldier coming back to civilian life, yet…still on the battlefield spiritually. I haven’t seen any of my friends yet….yet everything feels different. Recently I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night from music in the air. I don’t know where the music is coming from but maybe it’s spiritual music.

Maybe it’s music to awaken my heart.

So when my mom texts me and asks me where I’m moving to next, I say “I’m actually leaving the country again” and I start sobbing. I only got to see her for 3 days as she had to work out of town. We were able to reconcile and communicate on a better level – praise God.

Nothing feels stable but I know I must look to Jesus at all times. I can’t rely on my environment or people for stability, I must look at God alone. 

I don’t know why God chose me for this type of life – actually I do know- because I’m willing. I’m willing to overcome the fears that bind most people to a “stable life” -though the stable life is actually filled with fear that create stagnant hearts and lives. 

My friend said I’m like a piece of iron that God had to mold so that I can withstand anything. That’s great. Basically I’m like Iron Woman. How attractive, haha.

Just when I start to feel at home I have to leave. But that’s part of moving with God’s spirit. We must jump with Him and not linger. He has been telling me that every morning. Don’t linger, just go. We linger because we feel like we are not enough, we don’t have enough (money, clothes, abilities, friends, opportunities), we are not wearing the right clothes, etc….

But when God says “go”- you have to go!

That has been me for the last year. Feeling unprepared everyday but just going with God. He says “don’t prepare what you are going to say in front of the governors, when you get there I’ll speak through you”. In the same way, God wants us to be unprepared and to TRUST HIM to speak through us, work in THAT MOMENT. 

WE ARE OVER- PREPARERS! BUT WE PREPARE OUT OF OUR OWN LOGIC AND REASONING- Not God’s logic. You have read about the many times I didn’t have enough money for a hostel or something on the road and God gave me the specific instructions I needed in that moment. Or He asked me to ask someone for help and in actuality they needed a prophetic word or healing from God. 

The divine appointment was in my need. 

The divine appointment needed something from me as a messenger of God and I needed something materially. Jesus even said to the disciples, bring no money bag. That’s pretty crazy. I think most missionaries don’t live that way. But somehow I’ve experienced it and I do not wish it upon anyone…yet, now I have a lot less fears than before.

We don’t see God moving because we rely more on other things. We don’t give Him room to move when we’ve already filled the room with our own preparations. 

So how about you just jump?

It’s time to jump. 

Partner with me and see God move powerfully in your life. I ask you not to just give your money but your life to Jesus today! Thank you for giving! I pray God’s peace and joy over you in Jesus name!

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John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Ask Jesus into your heart, He wants a relationship with you. He died on the cross and rose again for your sins and when you receive Him He only sees Jesus in you, not your blemishes and faults.

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Police Man

“Go to Macdonald’s” – said God.

“Another junk food place?”

“Trust me”

The Lord told me to ask someone to buy me a cone. There was two men. One an Indian guy and another from South Africa. He said, “we will come back so you wait”.

They went into Macdonald’s but forgot about me.

Meanwhile I saw a young boy and he kept looking at me. The Lord impressed on my heart to pray for him. I said, “can I pray for you?” He said “yes!” I said that God gave me a vision of him drawing.

He said “I draw!” and he showed me his notebook. He said he likes to draw angels.

His parents asked what we were doing but did not seem to want him talking to me.

I understand. I’m a stranger.

I’m scared but God still impresses upon my heart to go get my ice cream cone. Remember at this point I have $8 in my pocket. I had gotten off a bus and found a hostel that cost $35. I gave the owner $30 and promised another $5 the next day.

I go into Macdonald’s and I find the two men. I said “I think you forgot about me”. The South African puts the gold coin on the table and I say “thank you. God said to pray for you”.

He is a Christian. As I’m praying for him I hear the Lord say “I have not forgotten you. I know you’ve been through a lot of pain but the promises are coming”. I feel my heart breaking and I stare into his eyes.

His eyes are unresponsive, vague, unfeeling, emotionless, I hug him and tell him how much God loves him.

His Indian friend has his hands folded, he is praying with me even though he is not Christian. But he is watching the whole thing. I ask him if I can pray for him but he says “no I already prayed with you”.

Seconds later, God tells me to pray for another boy and I ask but he walks away, seeming turned off.

Then I hear a boy cry in the playground. Someone has fallen off the slide. The Lord says “pray for him” and I walk over “hi, I’m a missionary and I’d like to pray for him”.

So the mom says okay. At first I thought none of them were Christian because one mom looked bewildered. However after the whole fiasco she told me she was actually Christian and so was her friend, she was just really shocked to see someone being that bold.

She told me how in New Zealand, it’s very comfortable and Christians rarely take risks so she was shocked to see someone so bold. She said she wouldn’t have thought of doing that as the boy’s mom wasn’t Christian.

As I’m sharing my story of following the Holy Spirit with them a guy approaches me.

He says “excuse me but I need to speak with you”.

I thought it was one of the boy’s dad but he said he was a police man and the boy that seemed turned off by my asking to pray for him actually called the police to tell him that I had “offered to pay for sex”.

I don’t know what kind of childhood this boy had but this was nothing I’ve ever experienced.

I wanted to cry.

What kind of spiritual warfare was this, but right away the two Christian women told the police man that I was a good person and would never say that.

I saw this man write down what he said and what I said. I had said “pray for you” not “pay for sex”.

He got my info but that was it.

I felt falsely accused. But God had my back.

Later on I felt the Lord ask one of the woman to sow financially and she said “I was just thinking about how to help you!!”

I got to encourage them and they said they were really convicted by my life.

This was one of the more traumatic and intense days I’ve had. Nothing like this has ever happened. But God protected me.

When I got off the bus to Kerikeri I saw this skatepark that looked exactly like the one in my dream. I also remembered that the macdonalds playground was in one of my dreams.

Give to the work of the gospel-

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Why I Am Saving Myself For Marriage

I heard the Lord say “write it now”. It’s 7:51am here in Auckland.

More than anything, I want a family. I love babies and have been seeing a lot of babies lately. Because of what I didn’t grow up with- a wholesome family with two parents, I desire what I didn’t have.

As I was thinking about this, I felt heartsick. Not only have I been waiting for my husband, I’ve been waiting for sexual intimacy.

I’m a 31 virgin.

Sure I am not a prude and know more about sexual foreplay than most people who have sex – being honest and blunt here because people have a misunderstanding about “virgins”. And I understand my women parts more than most. And yes this is super honest, I know how to climax without intercourse. I’ve had my share of experience and yes I’ve dated men.

I knew how to masturbate at a young age. It involved a floor and my pelvis. Our women parts are intricate but not complicated. However why at a young age I learned to do it? I was lonely and my parents were not home most of the time so it filled a void in my heart.

Our sexual desires always reflects our hearts’ longings for emotional intimacy.

Why did I choose to wait to have sex until marriage?

Of course they taught this at church, but more than anything I wanted to save my heart for my husband.

Because as years went by I saw how broken hearted my friends were after a one night stand.

I had guys tell me “why would I call her again, I already slept with her” as if it was a movie he watched already or a bucket list item.

If we are honest here, any type of physical contact marks our hearts and causes a bond.

I don’t save myself out of guilt or condemnation because there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

I have waited this long because I know I’m worthy of love, not just lust or physical attraction. I respect myself too much to give into a physical desire.

And women are actually moved by words, affirmation more than anything. An intimate and supportive emotional connection turns a women on more than touch. She is wired for emotional connection. She is wired by a sense of security, a man who cherishes and loves her and opens his own heart to her.

A woman desires a man to be vulnerable, open, communicative.

So as I put my story out here, I want to encourage all those who are waiting. Even if you’ve decided to be celibate until marriage, it’s worth the wait.

Any man who will in an instant sleep with you doesn’t respect you.

A man who truly loves you will wait, and not only for you, but for his own heart.

What I’ve found is that men will stop respecting you when they know they can get your in pants instantaneously but they will somehow have an emotional attachment to you when they know you’re not “easy”.

And if you didn’t wait, that’s okay.

All things are new in Christ Jesus. He does not condemn anyone. He loves you.

But you are worth more than a physical release – which to be honest, is often what sex is for some guys. They’ve shut their hearts down so much, they think one physical release can satisfy their shut down hearts. It’s like all this pent up emotions they can’t seem to express with words.

I know this is an intensely personal post but I pray it may bring some relief to your heart.

God loves you and wants the best for you.

You deserve the best.

I am by far perfect. One of my top love language is touch so you can imagine my struggle. But I know God’s best is out there for me and I’m meeting him soon.

I wanted to add that in order to live out God’s best for you you must receive Jesus into your heart. When you know Jesus died on the cross for you and you are no longer an orphan, the Holy Spirit dwells within you and causes you to transform from the inside out.

He will supernaturally heal your heart, take you away from bad habits and harmful desires. It’s all Him, not self discipline! His grace changes everything!

The more you understand grace, the more your life will improve!

Today if you haven’t received Jesus into your heart ask Jesus to enter your heart, trust that He has taken all your sins and mistakes on the cross and you are free now, a child of God, uncondemned!

Has this blog post encouraged you? Has my ministry empowered you? Consider sowing a seed and partnering with me to bring light to this world and the souls in it!

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Thank you!

Rebekka

Destroying the Religious Spirit

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For some reason the more I follow Jesus the more I see the religious spirit rise up in people against me.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say to go to church every sunday and if it did, Jesus fulfilled every law. Even Jesus worked miracles and healed people on a sunday, and the pharisees were pissed off. 

Our way of living in community and fellowship is severely outdated. There are plenty of people that go to church but have no true community. They have no one to call when they need prayer. Is that what you call church? They have no one they can trust, is that church?

No – church is you and I. Church is the people, not a building. In the bible people met in houses to have church. People fellowshipped on the road. I have communed with believers in Mcdonald’s, on the streets, on a bus. I have prayed for strangers wherever God leads. 

That is church.

If you look at every person in the Bible, they followed Jesus and His spirit, apostle Paul traveled throughout His whole life as the spirit  led to bring the gospel of Grace to people. 

I don’t know why healing people, delivering people and setting people free is so NEW in this world, but apparently it is. Because the religious spirit in Christians rises up SO FIERCE when I tell them I just go where God tells me to go. 

Almost every apostle in the Bible followed Jesus in spreading the gospel of grace. 

Instead of being the ones to weep with those who weep, to love those Jesus sent me to love- the bystanders are criticizing me and doubting me. 

They ask things like “how do you know it’s God who is speaking?”

I’m thinking “do you not see the people who are healed from a broken heart? The people who receive Jesus because of me?”

I’m the one out here weeping with the ones who just lost their mother, the one who is comforting and praying for the lost sheep who lost his wife, I’m the one praying for people on the streets and healing people of sicknesses in the name of Jesus.

I’m the one suffering from diarrhea, bug bites, withstanding the heat, getting colds for the sake of the gospel. So don’t come at me and say “where are you getting fed? You should go to church every sunday” LOL. It’s the spirit of the Lord that teaches me and if The Lord wanted me to go to church every sunday, He would tell me. But He doesn’t, because we have an intimate relationship based out of HIS FINISHED WORK ON THE CROSS (called grace) and not works.

YOU ARE NOT SAVED BY CHURCH ATTENDANCE.

NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY TO GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY. It was the Spirit of The Lord that gave revelation and wisdom to the apostles. It says to gather with believers and break bread. It says “LOVE IS THE FULFILLMENT OF THE LAW”, so please look at your own life, are you loving people as the Lord has called you to? 

When I need encouragement the Lord sends me Christians to encourage me. When I need prayer the Lord sends me Christians to pray for me.

I always have what I need as the Lord is my shepherd, and I lack nothing.

The religious spirit seeks to disqualify people but it is the finished work of God that qualifies you. 

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Pharisees- You can go to church every sunday and be murdering people in the back alleys. You can be singing hallelujah and thinking that you are not saved by grace, but by church attendance. Is that what you think qualifies people to be saved?

I AM LED BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, I am in a love relationship with Jesus.

So no, I don’t have to explain myself. He says I am enough. Because of His finished work on the cross and where do I get fed? I get fed by Jesus. 

Love Fulfills the Law

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,”[a] and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8=13 

So if you have something to say- please read the bible verses below.

You Pharisees and teachers are show-offs, and you’re in for trouble! You give God a tenth of the spices from your garden, such as mint, dill, and cumin. Yet you neglect the more important matters of the Law, such as justice, mercy, and faithfulness.

Matthew 23

Jesus Condemns the Pharisees and the Teachers of the Law of Moses

23 Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples:

The Pharisees and the teachers of the Law are experts in the Law of Moses. So obey everything they teach you, but don’t do as they do. After all, they say one thing and do something else.

They pile heavy burdens on people’s shoulders and won’t lift a finger to help. Everything they do is just to show off in front of others. They even make a big show of wearing Scripture verses on their foreheads and arms, and they wear big tassels[a] for everyone to see. They love the best seats at banquets and the front seats in the meeting places. And when they are in the market, they like to have people greet them as their teachers.

But none of you should be called a teacher. You have only one teacher, and all of you are like brothers and sisters. Don’t call anyone on earth your father. All of you have the same Father in heaven. 10 None of you should be called the leader. The Messiah is your only leader. 11 Whoever is the greatest should be the servant of the others. 12 If you put yourself above others, you will be put down. But if you humble yourself, you will be honored.

13-14 You Pharisees and teachers of the Law of Moses are in for trouble! You’re nothing but show-offs. You lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. You won’t go in yourselves, and you keep others from going in.[b]

15 You Pharisees and teachers of the Law of Moses are in for trouble! You’re nothing but show-offs. You travel over land and sea to win one follower. And when you have done so, you make that person twice as fit for hell as you are.

16 You are in for trouble! You are supposed to lead others, but you are blind. You teach that it doesn’t matter if a person swears by the temple. But you say that it does matter if someone swears by the gold in the temple. 17 You blind fools! Which is greater, the gold or the temple that makes the gold sacred?

18 You also teach that it doesn’t matter if a person swears by the altar. But you say that it does matter if someone swears by the gift on the altar. 19 Are you blind? Which is more important, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? 20 Anyone who swears by the altar also swears by everything on it. 21 And anyone who swears by the temple also swears by God, who lives there. 22 To swear by heaven is the same as swearing by God’s throne and by the one who sits on that throne.

23 You Pharisees and teachers are show-offs, and you’re in for trouble! You give God a tenth of the spices from your garden, such as mint, dill, and cumin. Yet you neglect the more important matters of the Law, such as justice, mercy, and faithfulness. These are the important things you should have done, though you should not have left the others undone either. 24 You blind leaders! You strain out a small fly but swallow a camel.

25 You Pharisees and teachers are show-offs, and you’re in for trouble! You wash the outside of your cups and dishes, while inside there is nothing but greed and selfishness. 26 You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of a cup, and then the outside will also be clean.

27 You Pharisees and teachers are in for trouble! You’re nothing but show-offs. You’re like tombs that have been whitewashed.[c] On the outside they are beautiful, but inside they are full of bones and filth. 28 That’s what you are like. Outside you look good, but inside you are evil and only pretend to be good.

29 You Pharisees and teachers are nothing but show-offs, and you’re in for trouble! You build monuments for the prophets and decorate the tombs of good people. 30 And you claim that you would not have taken part with your ancestors in killing the prophets. 31 But you prove that you really are the relatives of the ones who killed the prophets. 32 So keep on doing everything they did. 33 You are nothing but snakes and the children of snakes! How can you escape going to hell?

34 I will send prophets and wise people and experts in the Law of Moses to you. But you will kill them or nail them to a cross or beat them in your meeting places or chase them from town to town. 35 That’s why you will be held guilty for the murder of every good person, beginning with the good man Abel. This also includes Barachiah’s son Zechariah,[d] the man you murdered between the temple and the altar. 36 I can promise that you people living today will be punished for all these things!

Sow into the kingdom-

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Birthing In The Secret Place + Promotion Is Coming

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The Lord told me to write about this.

When a woman is pregnant, the fetus grows inside her womb to protect the baby from outside threats. Her womb is like a covering, a place of protection, a secret place that no one else can enter. 

I felt like our DREAMS are the same. We need a secret place to birth our dreams. Whatever God has told you, you can’t share with just anyone.

I had many years of learning to walk in the secret place. I had many dreams, dreams like “I’m going to be like Asian Oprah” or “I’m going to travel the world speaking to people”, some dreams were a source of ridicule and jokes for my relatives. They looked at my life and couldn’t see any hint of “success”.

The truth is God was working in my heart.

He started me off this way- asking me to pray or pastor just one person.

This person could be in the gym, in a swimming pool, in the movie theater, in a bathroom, on the streets, in the park. 

Many of us want a pulpit or a stage, but we refuse to love the one person God has put in our lives. That is why God sent me home to love the one person I thought was the MOST difficult to love, my own mother. I spent 2 years zipping my mouth when I wanted to scream, I spent 2 years learning patience.

I learned to submit and to obey God in the hard places. Am I perfect? No. I learned to apologize when I didn’t want to, I learned to communicate my pain even if she might not understand.

I sense this on God’s heart- when He calls you and  you answer, will you do it without recognition? Will you do it in secret? Will it be enough to hear Him say “well done servant?”

In due time He surely rewards those who obey Him- Joseph obeyed God by interpreting a fellow inmates’ dreams. He did what he could, where he was situated. He didn’t wait for God to put him in Pharaoh’s presence before he did what he was called to do. 

The worse thing was that one of the inmates actually forgot about him “ The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.” Genesis 40:23

How many of you have been forgotten by someone? Maybe you did something nice and that person didn’t choose to promote you in the job or in your life. Maybe they actually turned on you. But the LORD NEVER FORGETS, even if one person forgets you! 

“When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream” Genesis 41:1

“Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. 10 Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. 11 Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 12 Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. 13 And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.”

“So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon.When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.”

“Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace,and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.”

I felt such a leap in my spirit as I reread this story.

The LORD wants you to know that HE SEES YOU and whatever you’ve been doing faithfully HE WILL reward you.

But first, you must believe you are worthy.

The truth is I battle with unworthiness, sometimes not feeling good enough, sometimes feeling discouraged by the voices of the enemy, sometimes I experience headaches and all forms of attacks, I experience bad dreams, sometimes I feel like I can’t go on anymore, I feel lack, I worry about how the future will unfold, I worry about money, I worry about how God will provide….

BUT like yesterday, I had to press in. Whether it’s praying in tongues or reading out loud truths about who I am, whether it’s asking people to pray for me, I had to press in.

It’s a spiritual warfare, those voices, those diseases, those sicknesses, unbelief.

But you must choose to battle in the secret place. 

GOD I believe, but help my unbelief.

I’ve been a pioneer, when God called me, I didn’t know how I would ever survive. There were tests, emotional wounding, dishonor, humiliation. I was driven to the walls, I thought I was going insane. I said God I can’t take this anymore. I’m following you but I have to bear persecution, this is inhumane. I’m following you, but I have to be humiliated, shamed, accused? 

But 2 years later, after I obeyed when He said “sell everything and follow me”, I am sitting in South Africa and I’ve ministered in 4 countries already. I don’t speak behind pulpits, I don’t speak on stages.

I hold hands with janitors in bathrooms and pray for them. I lay hands on homeless people, I’ve told my testimony in churches (in unofficial ways, in organic ways), I’ve prayed for pastors and cleaners, I walk up to strangers in restaurants.

Today if you are going through battles of your own, read this out loud.

I am a child of God. I am not an orphan. The father is taking care of me. I am not alone. He is with me always. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will Provide and protect me. Hosts of angels are watching over me.

Will you birth in the secret place? God is protecting you and that is why you may not be getting the recognition and honor you deserve. God is also testing your heart, are you doing it out of pure love or out of selfish desire? Are you loving people to get something back or are you TRUSTING GOD to recompense you?

And also it is important to protect your BABY (DREAMS) from people who will destroy or abort it. It might mean not talking to certain relatives for a while, cutting ties with certain friends, not watching movies or tv shows that will hurt the conception and growth of your dreams, it may mean sacrificing or surrendering a job or a savings account for the sake of building His kingdom, it may mean moving to another city.

Would you prayerfully consider sowing a seed today? I’ve been ministering since July in Taiwan, Korea, Japan and South Africa. I will be going to China next. Funds are needed for me to continue ministering and praying for people on the ground. 

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38 I believe this verse truly as I have seen it in my own life. When I gave, I saw the Lord give more abundantly to me.

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Street pastor and prophet, Rebekka

May He bless you with peace and joy. You are enough in Christ Jesus. You are not lacking. You are whole. In Jesus name Amen.

The Holy Spirit Vs. The Religious Spirit

hspirit

Often times when I ask to pray for people on the streets, bathrooms, malls, restaurants people ask me “what church do you go to?” as if a church would give me legitimacy. Some people ask me if I went to seminary, as if seminary gives someone legitimacy.

Without the holy spirit, it doesn’t matter what qualifications you have, you are still operating from the flesh and from a fleshly mind. 

For some reason people think that if you are with a specific church, then you are a true prophet. WRONG. There are plenty of false prophets that are in megachurches, that lead megachurches and are not filled with Jesus or the holy spirit.

The only thing that qualifies you is the fact that Jesus died on the cross for you and He paid for it, it’s the HOLY SPIRIT in me that heals sicknesses, diseases, heartaches, identity. It’s the blood of Jesus that heals, nothing else.

It’s not a name of the church that heals the sick, it’s not what theology I know that heals the broken hearted, it’s the name of Jesus and those who have a true relationship with Jesus.

It is the religious spirit that wants to disqualify people from walking in their calling to simply touch peoples’ lives and hearts by the pure unadulterated love of God. 

And the Holy Spirit can do whatever, whenever.

When God gave me a dream this week about China, I didn’t hesitate. Yes, I thought He initially wanted me to go to Paris in December, but when the Holy Spirit speaks, it doesn’t what preconceived notion you had, you move with Him.

So I booked a ticket to China. And I realized that God was speaking very loudly even before this dream. I had been staying in an airbnb where the owner had moved to China, someone from 10 years ago emailed me and asked if I was going to China anytime soon, I was craving Chinese food having been in South Africa for a month, the people around me were being called to China.

When God moves, you must move with Him. Before I went overseas, the Lord told me I was going to China as well, but I thought it was going to be later (2019) but there are people I need to pray for and timing is EVERYTHING.

There are so many people I would not have been able to reach or pray for if I didn’t obey God. People I prayed for just had job interviews, some just lost their jobs, some needed finances, some had broken hearts and severe backaches, hereditary diseases, some were running away from God’s calling. 

Some people, a few months after are no longer stuck. Some are living their calling, some have answered the call to ministry, some have learned more about their identity in Christ, but there are hundreds, even thousands of lives touched because I chose to say yes.

I’ve prayed for people in bathrooms, on buses, in restaurants, everywhere. It’s been a ride.

I am currently doing a fundraiser to raise funds for my on going ministry. Specifically I had to fund most of the trip on my own and when God finally told me to do a fundraiser, I realize that what I’m doing, is going to save lives, transform lives, change the world.

If you feel led to sow a seed and invest in the kingdom- please click the links below. If you have been touched and transformed by what I write and produce, consider contributing. THIS is fertile ground. (These 2 links should be fee free to donate, God bless you and may He multiply your seed by a hundred!)

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Prophetic decree! Season of birthing! Watch video for prophetic word and decree.