Single-Minded

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This is for all my single ladies and gents out there who are waiting for their true love.

I kept hearing this phrase “single-minded”. It has two meanings obviously, single on your mind and single minded “having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose” (google). 

I’ve been meeting a lot of ladies who have singleness on their mind. They are looking for their true love, their husband.

I have been single for 4 years, minus the dating spree I went on after breaking up with my ex. I knew he was not going to be my husband. We didn’t have any similar vision or calling in life.

For some reason, I actually feel quite peaceful about it. 

I think it’s because I have become single-minded – living with and for Jesus. 

This was not always the case. If anyone should be boy-crazed, drama filled or dysfunctional it should be me. If anyone should have a boat load of daddy issues, it should be me since I did not see my dad for 10 years; and still, I see him every few years. He lives in another country.

Yes, my former years in middle school and high school were filled with tears, heart ache, journals filled with love stories with imaginary boyfriends and celebrities. If anyone should still have love drama in my life, it should be me…I mean I was the one girl who stood across the street from a crush’s house and creepily watched him walk in his house everyday.

So why at this point of being single for 4 years am I so content and peaceful?

It took awhile for me to heal from my past relationships. My heart desired acceptance. My life was laden with rejection and abandonment issues that I felt unsafe and insecure. I felt like I was lacking and that I wasn’t enough.

I tried to find security in imaginary boyfriends or eventually real boyfriends.

Sometimes my security was anchored in a career, in my drive and type A personality.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how much I could do for others. This often led to burn out and sickness.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how productive I was or how accomplished I was.

I was also a mommy pleaser. I did things for my mom and others for acceptance and validation.

It took some time for God to break off those things from me. Slowly I found my voice, I found the voice to say “no”. I valued myself more. 

One day I woke up and unfriended and unfollowed every guy I ever dated or had feelings for.

I became “single-minded”. 

I didn’t want to play around with my destiny anymore. I wanted to be single-minded, to focus on the only one who already gave me true love and true validation. This one was named Jesus. He took me in His arms and whispered truths to me. He told me how much He loved me and how proud of me He was.

Yes, did I spend many holidays, new years, Christmas eve, Christmas alone?

Yes, but I wasn’t alone. God was with me and it was peaceful…no drama.

Did I find the silence sometimes confusing, unbearable? Yes.

Did I find myself going on walks feeling like I was always going to be in the stage I was in life? Yes.

Did I sometimes have negative thoughts that plagued me, speaking lies and telling me that I was “not enough”? Yes.

But Jesus was with me through it all. He helped me overcome all things and continues to do so. He is with me in the pain, the tears and the laughter. He is with me in all things. 

I was in a wilderness for the past 4 years, rebuilding my heart and following the still small voice. I was misunderstood, rejected and left for dead. But through it all, I became powerful in my spirit. Nothing could faze me. I was scorned by my own family members, accused when I was actually just following God.

The path that Jesus walks on is not always easy. It requires sacrifice.

But everything HE calls you to is worth it because you are always upgraded in your spirit, overcoming fear, anger, bitterness, grief. 

Suddenly you find yourself in the storm, sleeping peacefully while everyone is screaming for their lives.

That is the true single mindedness I’m talking about.

When you come to a place where you realize you are enough, you are not lacking, you are not single, you are whole in Christ Jesus. You are not a fragmented piece looking for your other half, you are a whole piece who will meet another whole piece.

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Dream Again!

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I woke up from a dream this morning with a sense of wonder.

In this dream, my mom was chasing after a little boy and the little boy and his brother grew up. I then played with the older brother. He had little shower curtains and cute little towel (like for dolls). People around me said I was in love with him but I said I was just playing.

Then I went into a glass room where I was playing cello with two other musicians. I started playing intricately. There was no teacher, just mentors. The mentors said I was actually in tune even though the other two musicians was criticizing me.

When I woke up, I heard “Dream Again”.

The Lord said “dream and play like a child. The reason many have lost their ability to dream is because they attached their dreams to their identity, needing to prove themselves, needing to make a living….they stopped dreaming and playing with me.

They started worrying about how they will make money instead of trusting me to provide for them. In their search for worldly meaning and purpose, they stopped creating with me just for the joy of it.

They traded joy for WORLDLY SECURITY. 

They traded identity as a child of God for WORLDLY IMAGE. 

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What do you think it would LOOK like for children of God to TRUST GOD completely and WALK out their life with pure joy and childlike play? 

It would revolutionize the world. 

It would be fearless. It would be wild. It would be amazing. It would be FREEING. It would be joyful. It would be bliss.

We would share and give generously.

We would also receive abundantly.

God wants you to be so SECURE IN YOUR IDENTITY that you have no fear OF what others think about you- this is including those around you (like friends, family and coworkers…maybe even pastors or mentors).

What is it that you have been too scared to do?

God wants to dream and create with you. 

He will provide everything you need.

A DREAM is not something you chase, but it is purely creating with the creator of the world and finding joy in the process of creating with God. A dream is a relational process that draws you close to the Maker. 

A DREAM is also not about being first at anything, winning awards or getting applause from people. A dream is more about coming alive in your identity as sons and daughters of God.

Many of you may be wondering why God doesn’t just give things to you…He is actually removing the things that hinder you from dreaming and living freely (for example: the fear of men – what people think of you, the fear of lack, etc). Until these fears are removed, you cannot live freely the way God intended you to live.

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Don’t Be Afraid To Stand Out- The New SEASON

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I just wanted to show you my new hair by hairstylist Stephanie Markel of Tru Salon.

Well, I kind of didn’t realize that people would be staring at me after I got my hair done. I can’t hide anymore. I used to hide, because I didn’t want the unwanted attention. I didn’t want people to talk to me all the time…but now I really can’t hide.

This marks a new season for me and I’m sure for many of you.

It’s a new season of stepping out. You’re going to have to take risks, be vulnerable, do things you’ve never done or have not done for a long time. You’re going to have to open your heart to new people and trust that God will protect it. You’re going to have to be open about who you really are.

You’ve been hurt before, but you grew stronger in the healing.

Your bones are stronger though it was broken.

It is okay that you may be sad about letting go of the past, letting go of control and how things used to be. In the wilderness, things were predictable for me…I knew what to expect…but now being thrown into the rainbows and universe, I find myself clenching onto what little control I have. 

But I hear “relax, let go, go with the flow”.

It’s a new season.

Are you ready?

Rewrite your dreams, dream again. You are not the same person, you know who you are. You may have to let go of how you thought your life should have been, or become. Your destiny is greater than a generic life. 

Write your own chapter. Sing your own song. Dye your hair purple and blue, look like a mermaid or a troll.

Don’t be afraid to stand out.

 

Heaven Is For Real

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Photo by http://www.see.place and google (does not belong to me).

I’m a dreamer, I dream almost every night. They are long dreams, like a movie. Sometimes I dream about heaven, actually my spirit is there, it’s too real. When I dream about heaven, I always have a feeling of wonder, like when I’m watching a movie by myself in the theater. Maybe that’s why I love film so much, because what is real is not what we see, but what we see with our hearts.

This night I have a dream that I am in an apartment, I’m sleeping, I wake up and clean, I look out the window and see a sign that says Hawaii. However, it is really strange. There are boats and people walking on water. Except they are actually walking on land, which is under water. There are boats like the ones I’ve seen in Thailand. It is a little gloomy. I try to walk out of the apartment, but there are so many rooms I can’t seem to get out.

Finally, I see two girls, they are twins and roommates of the girl I’m staying with.

We are talking, suddenly I feel dizzy because the apartment starts moving. Maybe the island around me is moving? I’m confused, as the room starts moving, I see the land. We are actually floating, but there is land and ocean.

It looks like the blue city in Morocco, but it is all situated in and over water so imagine the blue city surrounded by water. It is magical, beautiful, stunning, my heart can’t take the beauty anymore. When we arrive somewhere, we get off. I’m shocked, okay, the whole time I had gone into a room that was actually a vehicle, I was then transported.

I’m shocked and tell them I’m not going wherever they are going. And for some odd reason, they say they are going to Denver, on a roadtrip, for 9 days. 9 days adds up to July 4 which is the day God told me something would happen in my life.

I tell the bus load of people, I can’t go, no I didn’t even bring water! I have nothing on me, I left my wallet in the “real apartment”. I see out on the sideline and see my friend, but he has something stuck in his eye and I freak out.

I know it’s addressing some feelings of not knowing where I’m going or doing next, or what July 4 will bring, readiness, preparedness in my heart, but before I know it I wake up.

 

13 Days of Meditation- Day 13- Who You Were Are Signs Of Who You Want To Be

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Most people will say, “Don’t look into the past” and “don’t dig up your grave”.

Actually, after waking up from a dream about my high school friend and remembering who I was back then, reminded me of what I may have lost during the journey of youth. When I was in high school, I was very feisty and strong-headed. I never let anyone step on me and fought for what was right. I fought for people too because I saw injustice in classes.

Back then, I was voted most unique and was known to be either special, weird or unique. Sometimes, I was not seen in a positive light, but I accepted the attention. I used to wear un-matching socks, one high and one low. One vivid memory was when I first one of my best friends, I was wearing a superwoman knee sock. Those were my favorite socks. On the other leg, I wore a low-sock. I ruled back then. I knew everything I wanted to do in life and rocked life to the core. 

10 years later, I am still the same person, but perhaps- like you, I have gotten a little jaded from work and responsibilities. When everyone started getting married, I thought to myself, “it would be so easy to get married right now”- being independent is not easy. Trying to make it on your own is not easy, that’s why God created us for companionship. Perhaps your road is to become the next Donald Trump, then you have to accept the responsibility of your calling. That doesn’t mean you have to be lonely, but you just have to be strong in who you are and not accept any less. That means you can not settle for marrying rich, but perhaps you have to create your own path and when you get there, show women that you don’t have to rely on men to get you there….that God has given us gifts and talents to make it there ourselves too.

Otherwise, you may end up having kids and blame them for blocking you from your dreams….when in actuality, you chose that path. In actuality we all do, we all choose a path that determines part of our destiny.

Who was I? I was a hot-headed warrior. I had dreams that I fought for. After 2 years of being self-employed, I can see why I have become a little less hot-headed- broken dreams and friendships/relationships, failed businesses, a taste of hunger and strife, a taste of true adulthood. It is not always easy! Who was I? I was very confident in my calling and identity. No one could doubt that, yet 10 years later, I waver because my life does not always reflect my confidence, I waver because people around me may not always support my hot-headed dreams. 

I choose to be that hot-headed dreamer and warrior again. I choose to let go of what I need to let go of to move forward. Sometimes we need to see that transition means we have to be emptied out first in order for a new revelation to fill us.

Do you waver from the hot-headed dreamer that you used to be?

Who you were are signs of who you want to be still. Don’t give up. Don’t let life destroy you, stand up from the ashes and keep fighting, even if your leg or arm is still healing, even if you are jaded. Life matures you, don’t be afraid to grow in wisdom. Just don’t give up on yourself. Ever. 

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Little me in Germany

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The wild musician

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The spunky non-conformist

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The solo backpacker and vegabond/world traveler

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The Fashion Designer & Trend Setter

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The who gives a hoot let’s just have fun Business, Real Estate, Creative Entrepreneur Woman

Scott Mitchell  copyright  2013      scottmitchellphotography.smugmug.com

The Professional Picture, with all my past and experiences wrapped into one. Even though I might be wearing black, I am still the spunky non-conforming business woman!

Do you waver from the hot-headed dreamer that you used to be? What has jaded you and how have you managed to translate your story of who you are into one professional image? 

Comment below, I would love to hear from you personally! 🙂