Most people will say, “Don’t look into the past” and “don’t dig up your grave”.

Actually, after waking up from a dream about my high school friend and remembering who I was back then, reminded me of what I may have lost during the journey of youth. When I was in high school, I was very feisty and strong-headed. I never let anyone step on me and fought for what was right. I fought for people too because I saw injustice in classes.

Back then, I was voted most unique and was known to be either special, weird or unique. Sometimes, I was not seen in a positive light, but I accepted the attention. I used to wear un-matching socks, one high and one low. One vivid memory was when I first one of my best friends, I was wearing a superwoman knee sock. Those were my favorite socks. On the other leg, I wore a low-sock. I ruled back then. I knew everything I wanted to do in life and rocked life to the core. 

10 years later, I am still the same person, but perhaps- like you, I have gotten a little jaded from work and responsibilities. When everyone started getting married, I thought to myself, “it would be so easy to get married right now”- being independent is not easy. Trying to make it on your own is not easy, that’s why God created us for companionship. Perhaps your road is to become the next Donald Trump, then you have to accept the responsibility of your calling. That doesn’t mean you have to be lonely, but you just have to be strong in who you are and not accept any less. That means you can not settle for marrying rich, but perhaps you have to create your own path and when you get there, show women that you don’t have to rely on men to get you there….that God has given us gifts and talents to make it there ourselves too.

Otherwise, you may end up having kids and blame them for blocking you from your dreams….when in actuality, you chose that path. In actuality we all do, we all choose a path that determines part of our destiny.

Who was I? I was a hot-headed warrior. I had dreams that I fought for. After 2 years of being self-employed, I can see why I have become a little less hot-headed- broken dreams and friendships/relationships, failed businesses, a taste of hunger and strife, a taste of true adulthood. It is not always easy! Who was I? I was very confident in my calling and identity. No one could doubt that, yet 10 years later, I waver because my life does not always reflect my confidence, I waver because people around me may not always support my hot-headed dreams. 

I choose to be that hot-headed dreamer and warrior again. I choose to let go of what I need to let go of to move forward. Sometimes we need to see that transition means we have to be emptied out first in order for a new revelation to fill us.

Do you waver from the hot-headed dreamer that you used to be?

Who you were are signs of who you want to be still. Don’t give up. Don’t let life destroy you, stand up from the ashes and keep fighting, even if your leg or arm is still healing, even if you are jaded. Life matures you, don’t be afraid to grow in wisdom. Just don’t give up on yourself. Ever. 

Little me in Germany

The wild musician

The spunky non-conformist

The solo backpacker and vegabond/world traveler

The Fashion Designer & Trend Setter

The who gives a hoot let’s just have fun Business, Real Estate, Creative Entrepreneur Woman

The Professional Picture, with all my past and experiences wrapped into one. Even though I might be wearing black, I am still the spunky non-conforming business woman!

Do you waver from the hot-headed dreamer that you used to be? What has jaded you and how have you managed to translate your story of who you are into one professional image? 

Comment below, I would love to hear from you personally! 🙂