Category: Uncategorized

My New Goals Don’t Involve Achieving Anything

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, entrepreneur, faith, law of attraction, love, self-help, Uncategorized

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A few months ago I filmed two tv shows, one day I was the star and then I descended to earth and was just like anyone else, alien turned human roaming Paris for a bite. No one recognized me, I was normal again.

I was also on a competition show and only one person would win. Many and most went home slighly or largely disappointed. But then some maybe found that winning was not so much about achieving the goal, but loving the process and the people surrounding the journey. 

Some cried, somewanted to use the prize money to save a whole country, save the poor, send their mother to Japan, some wanted to start a fashion line, still, it made me realize how much we uphold expectations that we think are the answers to our happiness.

And we ask “what’s next?”

We rarely savor being, we rarely savor the moment.

Because we have these milestones we uphold, career advancement, getting the dream guy, getting married, having kids….we register for gift registries waiting for others to congratulate us, you made it!

We often get there and ask now what?

Which is why I want to start a revolution…its called….being.

So if you ask me what my goal is, for this year, for the rest of my life is?

I would answer “to be”.

Sounds vague. Well, I just want to breathe in every moment, to be present, and out of that space of being enough, accepted, loved, live. Whatever living looks like.

And I will create, not achieve, Ill express, like I am doing now, not achieving, because achieving is objective, it is based on peoples’ opinion.

I would also say “to live fully out of my heart”.

TO BE FULLY AUTHENTIC AND TO LIVE IN FREEDOM.

That to me is worth it all.

So no more lists of making a certain amount of income, no more lists of what i want to achieve, where I want to go, how many new friends I want….no more figuring out what I want because when you live out of being, you naturally attract the right things. 

1. Our egos always seek to prove our worth thus we achieve, looking for approval, hoping someone will say I love you.

2. The way of being is love. If you are pure love, then you lack nothing.

Love Was Not A Safe Word

On By Rebekka LienIn travel, Uncategorized

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Palm springs

Okay peeps, shit is going to get real in this post. Read this if you need to clarify some relationships with family, friends, non-friends, frenemies, boyfriend, girlfriend, wives, husbands, etc. I’m not a psychologist but I have lived an intense life and have also coached people about their lives.

Growing up in a single mother Asian household, I realized something….love was not a safe word. I never felt safe because love was basically obeying your parent, doing what they say, and trusting they are right. And as you know many parents, or most or all are not perfect, so when they give you sound wisdom about how you should eat your chicken, you either obey or your question their way of eating chicken. 

Because her life seemed stressful enough, I bore the burdens of a parent, of being one. I put my own emotional needs aside to handle the stress of being home and to listen to the needs of my parent.

Consequences– I became a people pleaser and believed that I needed to help others before myself. The training of the institutional church did not help either. So I suffocated my own problems. NOW I also LOVED being alone because I found that most people wanted to control my life so I found it much easier to be alone with my own thoughts. I also felt that everyone was a smaller version of my mom so I often escaped to find my personal freedom. I was able to finally find people who would allow me to be myself, however because most people are not aware enough to dig up the reasons behind their behavior, I often have to draw a line between those relationships.

I’m glad that I did enough soul searching and reading to actually realize all this and CHANGE! Because I can’t imagine what a shitty life I’d have if I had continue being a people pleaser.

Going on vacation with my mom kind of clarified why I was the way I was…

Here are some things people use in relationships.

  1. Manipulation- “If you do this, I’ll pay more attention to you, I’ll give you more love”

“I’m providing for you, you better be grateful”

“Ten years ago, you fucked up my car…so you will pay for it by my punishing you in various ways”

Truth is if it was really unconditional love….you give love without expecting anything back, you give according to your perimeters, you don’t use it to manipulate that person’s love for you.

Consequences of long term manipulation- 

Manipulator- has no idea what BOUNDARIES mean and expect others to live their lives for him or her. He or she is a tyrant in life and is often disappointed, probably will end up with no friends because their rules are impossible to live by.

Manipulated one- has no idea what FREEDOM looks like in their personal and public life, does not know how to make choices on their own, always thinks others know better. He or she is always a victim who does not take personal responsibility for their lives….because the choice to submit to a manipulator is a choice. 

2. Control- Control is probably the creepiest one, because a lot of times we don’t see it until we get physically sick from it. 

“Go wash the dishes now, go fix my car now, call me now, where are you? Who are you with? You have to do this and this and this, if you don’t it shows you have no love for me”

“Because you didn’t DO THIS ONE THING for me, you hate me, you don’t love me”. By threatening with control, that person is able to control what you do for them.

Truth is if it was really unconditional love…..you’d give people freedom to be whoever THE FUCK they want to be and to do whatever they want to. Now if you want to suggest how you feel loved (5 love languages), then tell them, do not threaten them with by “withdrawing love”. How I experienced that in my life? My parent never ever said sorry and when we fought, this is what happened….silence for 3-4 days, yep, and not looking at me, like I was some non-person.

Consequences of control- 

  1. Controller- Needs to know what is going on all the time. If someone does not respond to their text when they want, often freaks out and then accuses the person of negligence. Often does not enjoy life, cannot enjoy life, probably doesn’t drink (joking), has fear that they are out of control.
  1. Controlled- Fear of doing wrong in private and public life. Often needs to ask for permission to do something, creatively suppressed, cannot find the courage to draw outside the lines.

Now, finding freedom from these issues can be difficult but know that God’s love is powerful enough for you to break free. Consciousness is worth having to live a free life.

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Thousand Palms

If you need a meter for which you know your personal boundaries are being crossed….

  1. If you have physical aches, usually that is a sign of discomfort, boundaries being crossed.
  2. Discomfort emotionally, from 1-10 how uncomfortable do you feel
  3. If you feel emotions of fear or intimidation

What to do when these things happen: 

  1. Take time away from the person to access the relationship, to give your heart space to breathe and feel
  2. Say “no” or create verbal boundaries such as “I do not feel that way”, “no thank you”
  3. Find a way to create physical boundaries

And if it gets unhealthy, please find a way to stay away from the person. You must put yourself first.

The Myth of Not Being Enough

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, Uncategorized

You are enough, for God. But usually not for humans. If you were purely living in grace, you are enough. Now, when you’re a kid, you get to play, and you’re allowed to be goofy. As you grow up, you gradually notice that you are rewarded for “being good” to your parents. You know, being obedient. Then, you are applauded for accomplishing things like getting A’s, being president of some volunteer organization or club at school, writing a good essay for your college, getting into a good college, dating the right kind of person that your friends approve of, looking nice, losing weight, the list seems to go on.

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That’s me just playing, because I wanted to, because I was curious, because I was interested, not because I was being forced to.

As you get older, you are applauded for getting the right kind of job with the right salary, you are congratulated for having a kid, getting married, maybe staying at a few luxury resorts….you get applauded for trying, but not really for failing. Or for living at home with your parents when you are 30…definitely not applauded for still being single and doing odd jobs and freelancing….you definitely are not applauded for “being” because “being” seems lazy, seems well, lazy times two.

Your whole life after 3 years old, or whatever age you stopped playing because your parents wanted you to “succeed”, is a whole list of doing, trying, accomplishing, checking off lists. It’s a tiring rat race.

After I became self-employed, I had to release the idea of trying. I hustled really hard. And even that wasn’t freedom, it was slavery to the whole system of striving. When I finally gave into what I call grace, allowing God to open the right doors, I still struggle with it at times…but now I’m more sensitive to it.

The spirit of striving is like this spirit that sits on your shoulder and tells you “YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH = DO MORE!” 

Do you ever notice that when you want attention and love from people, you rarely get it? You seem desperate and people can smell it? But when you’re content and filled with love, people love to bother you. It’s because that is BEING. The God void in your heart isn’t supposed to come from people, they can’t fill your every need. It’s supposed to come from within, a divine Godly love.

And when you are filled with DIVINE LOVE, people are attracted to real unconditional, spirit filled love. A desperate need for love comes from fear, fear of not being enough. Fear that you need peoples’ approval. 

Yesterday my mom was like “if only you had studied something else”. I’m like, “you want a happy daughter or a miserable one?” And Helen Fisher had really helped me discover my personality, I got 97% explorer, which just means I don’t like being controlled and I love excitement and variety…….paired with builder is a no no because they tend to be too structured and have a need for stability. Which makes a lot of sense because in my past relationships the guy didn’t even have a passport. And here I am literally itching to go to 100 more countries.

SO rest into what I call divine grace.

And if you don’t understand what that means, ask. And you shall receive the answer as I am slowly learning. It’s a lifestyle, it’s a divine now.

You are enough. Stop doing and start soaking in the love that fills you to the overflow. 

“And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.”- Romans 11:6

Don’t Act Like A Slave

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, law of attraction, lawofattraction, lifecoach, Uncategorized

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Why do we act like slaves when we have been given freedom?

I used to be her.

Uppity, full of worldly ambition, striving, smiling to be nice and to please ther world….running in the same rat race. But i got to so many places and saw that everyone has an imaginery cage.

You know, the person with a business who has become a slave to her own business, unable and unwilling to take a break, feeding her ego : look everyone I must be important because I am busy!!!! Busy doing who knows what, busy serving other people. Ego.

Or the person who will not stop to enjoy himself just because everyone else is enslaved. To buts, can’ts, will not, one day.

When will we become conscious?

I used to be her. And so as i sat there, felt an uneasy gratitude, I have evolved so much yet it was such a difficult journey to awaken to freedom.

We all have freedom to do what we want, why do we wait until someone gives us permission?

Fear is irrational. It only becomes real when we believe it.

Heaven Is For Real

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, Uncategorized1 Comment

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Photo by http://www.see.place and google (does not belong to me).

I’m a dreamer, I dream almost every night. They are long dreams, like a movie. Sometimes I dream about heaven, actually my spirit is there, it’s too real. When I dream about heaven, I always have a feeling of wonder, like when I’m watching a movie by myself in the theater. Maybe that’s why I love film so much, because what is real is not what we see, but what we see with our hearts.

This night I have a dream that I am in an apartment, I’m sleeping, I wake up and clean, I look out the window and see a sign that says Hawaii. However, it is really strange. There are boats and people walking on water. Except they are actually walking on land, which is under water. There are boats like the ones I’ve seen in Thailand. It is a little gloomy. I try to walk out of the apartment, but there are so many rooms I can’t seem to get out.

Finally, I see two girls, they are twins and roommates of the girl I’m staying with.

We are talking, suddenly I feel dizzy because the apartment starts moving. Maybe the island around me is moving? I’m confused, as the room starts moving, I see the land. We are actually floating, but there is land and ocean.

It looks like the blue city in Morocco, but it is all situated in and over water so imagine the blue city surrounded by water. It is magical, beautiful, stunning, my heart can’t take the beauty anymore. When we arrive somewhere, we get off. I’m shocked, okay, the whole time I had gone into a room that was actually a vehicle, I was then transported.

I’m shocked and tell them I’m not going wherever they are going. And for some odd reason, they say they are going to Denver, on a roadtrip, for 9 days. 9 days adds up to July 4 which is the day God told me something would happen in my life.

I tell the bus load of people, I can’t go, no I didn’t even bring water! I have nothing on me, I left my wallet in the “real apartment”. I see out on the sideline and see my friend, but he has something stuck in his eye and I freak out.

I know it’s addressing some feelings of not knowing where I’m going or doing next, or what July 4 will bring, readiness, preparedness in my heart, but before I know it I wake up.

 

The Spiritual Implication of Change

On By Rebekka LienIn Politics, UncategorizedLeave a comment

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(photo taken at a cafe in London 2014)

SUMMER IS HERE. That means change.

This year is the year of jubilee, for those that follow spiritual seasons. A lot of shifts and changes are happening in the air. First off, UK pulling out of EU. 

Now, when I heard about that, I knew immediately the pound was going to drop in value. However, after my dream, God clarified a few things.

When a country goes through change, and when people are voting for change from traditions, that means they want a NEW THING. They want to break away from what has been so they can see change and new things in their lives. The UK is becoming independent because the majority, more than half of the people are looking for change.

What does it mean? There is a thirst for something more. Discontentment for what is already.

Most of the world will see it as a weakness, however, spirituality, I believe it is one of the greatest thing that is happening. Now countries and world powers are either being removed or realigned. Old traditions are being dismantled. 

Spiritual implications is that even though on the outside, people see economic weakness, people will come into their own power in leadership- in their personal lives, leadership will be replaced in politics, government, education, arts, people will awaken to the dreams that have been hidden in tradition. New things will happen in the country.

This is a great reminder that even though you may have gone through a desert in your career, love life, dreams, a great shift is coming where you will be catapulted to your wildest dreams, and where you are has no reflection of where God is bringing you. 

I am the dream

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, Uncategorized2 Comments

I am the dream.

You are the dream.

No really. I am the dream, I am not chasing dreams. Dreams are manifesting within me. There are billions of words ready to be said, spoken to the world, story lines, stories, jokes, numbers, globs of paint on canvas, I am the dream.

I am the dream and I don’t and am not waiting for your validation. I am so delusional that I dream about smurfs and fantasies, I choose to walk my own path even when the rest hangs off the cliff of validation.

I am the dream. And until you realize you are the dream, you will chase winds.

I was talent and cast in two different TV shows, one filmed in Paris, one in Cebu and one thing I’ve learned is that even the ones who you think know better, don’t. They are themselves, searching for answers, for dreams, for validation that they have not received.

Not all, but some. Like a bunch of birds following lost birds. This empowered my heart to dig deeper and look that little baby in the sink, you are enough.

 

Drama Rama

On By Rebekka LienIn coach, dream, entrepreneur, forgiveness, God, law of attraction, love, Uncategorized2 Comments

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Movenpick Cebu.

I’m sitting at Shangri-La and I’ve never had so much drama in my life.

I can’t go into detail but I’ve been having many dreams. In all of this, this experience of being in Cebu, filming a tv show,,,,and well losing my phone, oh I meant this strange evil person robbed me and took my phone from my pocket, going to the police and all that,

Here’s some things I’ve learned: 

  1. Material things fade. Money can’t buy you worth.
  2. People are fickle. People change constantly and are rather good at hiding their true emotions. We live in a society filled with fear of being authentic and truthful to our spirit. 
  3. There is always a blessing in disguise, the blessing sometimes may be a lesson that is sprouting within your spirit, and not a dollar amount.
  4. Choose yourself. Choose what feels good and right in your spirit. People will persuade you to be their friend when misery calls for you to entertain, but you must stand strong.
  5. Stories are knit in our minds based on our past experience of disgrace. We must learn to disassociate ourselves from our false selves and even our memories of who we are and how we relate to other people.
  6. A secret is not worth keeping because it can destroy your soul.
  7. There is no black and white, because people’s emotions are colorful.
  8. There can be hope and love in the world if we learn to break our walls down and show vulnerability.
  9. We live in a society based on competition but how God created us is to work together for our social well being, there is no love when people are isolated. People must come together to communicate their truth.
  10. Forgiveness and letting go- 1st importance.
  11. As much as people tell me to stop being so trusting, I continue to see the best in people because God continues to do that for me, so I will continue to forgive because I know I am not perfect. 

PS-

We must choose to let go and forgive daily.
It is a daily exercise of love for our souls.
We can become cold and hard hearted because of what happens to us in life, but our choice to forgive isn’t for other people, it’s for ourselves. The truth is our ego is our worse enemy, it chooses to neglect what we truly need, which is love.
But ego loves pride, loves to think we are better than other people.
By doing so, we isolate ourselves and choose not to help others. …Thus, we no longer have the ability to receive love as our hearts have closed off to help.

XOXO, BEX

Rules we create become our prison

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized3 Comments

Words that I’m learning from my time here shooting a tv show in Cebu, Philippines. This also coming from observing people.

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Photo taken through bars of the studio since that’s not really a beach.

Our rules can become our prison.

What we subjugate ourselves to becomes our master. Unless we choose to remove ourselves from it.

Our unwillingness to forgive causes us hardship.

Ego is the prison and wall which makes others enemy.

We are called to love ourselves because at the root of our life we must have love to thrive.

 

things I learned 10 years after high school

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized1 Comment

I was going to do 10 things I learned but it’s stupid I hate lists. 

It’s my 10 years reunion this year.

I went to Arcadia high

Things I learned-

  1. The world is less forgiving of people who don’t fit in, so don’t ever try to fit in.
  2. People will applaud you for being different but when times get tough for you they blame you for not fitting in and trying to do something new, so cast those people aside.
  3. If you’ve always been weird don’t try to date normal guys, they want to be weird, but try to put you in their box, just don’t date normal guys.
  4. Create your own reality of what makes you happy. If getting married and having kids is your thing, then do it. If traveling and being a rock star is your thing, do that.
  5. There are tons of people who say they want to do shit and never do it, I’ve heard people say they want to travel every single year but they won’t.
  6. Dont judge people now, it’s only been 10 years, I’ve watched people’s life change 180. Don’t judge period. You haven’t seen the end of their life.