Healing The Father Wound

On July 29, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dating, dream, forgiveness, God, healing, jesus, love, relationship, Relationships, spirituality

I tried submitting this to a secular website but apparently writing anything about God is considered offensive, so I’m glad I have my own blog.

I’m learning more about what I want from a relationship with my life partner. I learned that a lot of my past relationships were formed out of brokenness in my heart. I was looking for attention, for validation. I needed and wanted someone to validate me- to tell me I am worthy of love.

But I realize a relationship that is based out of your relationship with Jesus, has no lack.

I don’t mean that is it perfect, no; I mean that there’s no need for codependency – which is what a lot of my past relationships looked like.

The guy had mommy issues and I had daddy issues. I was looking for a dad and he was looking for a mom.

A mom gives rides to boys, a mom cooks for their son, a mom comforts their son; I am not looking for a son, I’m looking for a man.

I also didn’t have the financial security of growing up with a father. In fact, I started working when I was 8 years old selling toys after school. I had an entrepreneurial spirit and knew how to make and save money. I soon only found self worth in finance and accomplishments. I also got a lot of attention from men so it was easy to be misled thinking attention was love.

From the age of 8 to 18 I didn’t see my dad. My family immigrated to America from Taiwan when I was 8. I completely lost contact with my dad except for the few times my mother asked me to email my dad for rent money.

When I was 12 years I received Jesus into my heart and found an incredible sacrificial love. This God who loved me could die for me? I wept in my chair at a church retreat. I could feel the tangible love of God in my heart.

But now only at the age of 31 am I feeling the fulfillment of all the healing that took place in my life.

I was really fucked up. Honestly.

I didn’t deserve to be there, that’s how I felt.

God started to show me who I am.

He told me that I am a child of God and that He died on the cross for me so I could attain a position as His daughter. He would never leave nor forsake me. I could handle that. That’s a promise I was willing to receive.

Since everyone had failed and forsaken me, I was willing to trust Him.

Almost 20 years later, I have never seen God fail me. Sure I lost a lot of friends and seen my lifetime of heart aches and heart breaks but He would always whisper, “I’m here, I’m here with you”.

Recently I had to set some boundaries with a guy I knew wasn’t quite it. I loved the companionship and the moments we had together, but I also knew that I wanted more. I don’t want someone I met for a week who doesn’t have the same calling and purpose in life. I want someone who hears God and obeys with me.

I want someone who can grow with me, follow the Spirit with me, not slow me down. I hate goodbyes but I often find myself saying hello and goodbye over and over again.

I’m ready to meet my lifetime partner. I know He won’t be Jesus. I know that we will fight and argue at times. I know he won’t fulfill all my hearts’ desires, but I know he isn’t supposed to.

But I know what I want now. I know what I deserve. I know I deserve the best, not an emotional or physically absent man. I know I deserve a man who will rock with me, go places with me, be by my side. I don’t want a man who I met overseas and does not have the same purpose in life. I don’t want an addition, I want a partner. I don’t want us to have contrasting careers, I want us to change and travel the world together. I want us to compliment in our purpose and destiny.

I want an emotionally, spiritually and physically present man.

It’s possible. Do you believe?

I believe. I hope you will walk this journey with me. Let’s believe together. Let’s not settle for less. Let’s believe for the best because we deserve it.

Consider sowing a seed into souls and into what God is doing through me to set captives free, proclaim the year of freedom and heal the sick. Thanks for your contribution and continual support and prayers to touch lives by the blood of Jesus!

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I’m currently in Thailand. God is calling me day by day so I have no idea where I’ll be but thank you to all who continue to give and pray for me. Your prayers and giving are much appreciated!

Testimony in Pune

On July 22, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, faith, God, healing, jesus, Relationships, travel, writer1 Comment

Pune- testimony.

Yesterday God said you have to go to pune. This morning two hours before my train God said I have to catch the 12:10 one. A man gave me directions at the snack counter, in the same car, the man sat next to me. Crazy. On the train I prayed about where I should stay and found a few but one host’s name kept flashing in my mind. And a vision of twin beds that was in the room. Sure enough he accepted.

However he told me he was about to block out the dates because his caregiver had an emergency and had to leave so he wasn’t going to accept anymore guests. Somehow my booking came in and he accepted.

Two college age girls helped me get a cab and made sure I was okay. I told them Jesus loves them.

When I arrived the host said he gave me the room with a private bathroom since I’m a woman but a boy wanted my room. I asked to see his room (examining the soundproofing of the room) then met him.

Later I tried to book food on ubereats but failed and I heard God say “eat out”. At the same time the boy was going out to eat. I asked to come with.

During dinner the young man told me his dad is paralyzed. He told me this happened 5 years ago and that he was shot in the arm 3 years ago and he said that he saw his friend get shot when he was 12.

When I got back to the Airbnb I kept hearing God say “switch rooms with him”. I didn’t understand. But I remember God often spoke in symbolism. Then I knew I wasn’t finished.

I got to share my testimony with him. I shared how I never felt like I was enough for my mother but Jesus set me free to know I’m enough because of His finished work on the cross.

As I prayed over him I saw that he would punch a punching bag and it would hit him back. I also said he needed to forgive his dad. I said that he was enough and he’s done enough. He said karma.

I said Jesus came to give you grace and I explained why he has been forgiven for his sins and that Jesus took on the punishment. I asked if he wanted to have a relationship with Him but he said he had too many trust issues with religion as the hand life dealt him was shitty.

I said God sent me to let him know that He hasn’t forgotten him.

When the spirit leads, even if you run you run to your assignment.

Sow a seed- thank you!

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Prophetic Word- Promises Are Coming To Pass!!!

On July 19, 2019July 19, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn art, christianity, coach, dream, entrepreneur, faith, prophetic word, Uncategorized

Prophetic dream-

when you wait for God’s timing, you will get the best.

I just had a dream I sat next to Kloe Kardashian. She didn’t have makeup on so people couldn’t recognize her. I shared with her how I’ve always wanted my own reality show and she said “i can make it happen. Your own reality show”. She said “why didn’t you email me?” I said “I did!”

She checked her email and said “send it again”. Her signature had a lipstick mark. My phone had marks on it so I was trying to wipe off the stains.

I went to wash my hands.

I had a hair dryer with Kloe’s name on it hanging and I said to everyone- “Guess who’s hair dryer this is? It’s Kloe’s. I was just hanging out with her at the cafe. I’m going to have my own reality show! When you wait for God’s best, you will get it!”

I start dancing and floating on air.

Next, there’s a play going on about Aladdin. Whatever you dream, you can have.

But in this dream, there seems to be interference and there are zombies trying to reach me. I feel like things in the past and demonic forces have been trying to force people from moving forward and dreaming.

So then people start taking showers to get the ink off from the zombies.

There will require a mindset switch to receive the dreams God has for you. You need to let go of things that are no longer working and to set boundaries so that you make room for the promises God has for you. God’s best is ahead of you, not behind.

Currently in Mumbai. Look the cutest dog on earth 🙂

I prophesied to my friend’s friend he will write many books and give talks. He told me he writes blogs that are contrary to society. I said good, keep doing it. He told me he went to church when he was young.

Consider sowing into this word. Today I break off foreboding and delay, and any fears about the future. I pray a fresh envisioning of dreams in Jesus name!

Give in $5, $50, $500, $5000 numbers today. Jesus is impressing on the number of grace. Not by might or flesh but by the spirit.

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Testimony From Taiwanese Divine Appointment- Setting Captives Free From Shame

On July 8, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, jesus, lifecoach, love, relationship, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, travel, writer1 Comment

One night in Shuangxi God told me to go to Taipei the next day (last year when I set out to follow Jesus and begin ministry). He said to check couchsurfing. It was midnight. I was surprised the girl accepted my request right away. I packed my bags and went to stay with her the next day.

We shared testimonies and I got to pray for her. That day I started getting oppressed in my mind. I felt so tired and wanted to quit ministering to people. I felt like it was too hard. That day I was so extremely exhausted I slept at 9pm (at the time the girl started knocking on my door).

The next day I was going to leave early (as I was so mentally exhausted and had a dream there were these idols and spirits trying to get near my bed) when she knocked on my door again and told me about how her dad had abused her as a child. She told me that in 30 ish years she has never told anyone.

I prayed and sang over her, it was a really intense healing session. She started crying and I felt God’s love so intensely for her.

I now realize the devil was trying everything to stop me from hearing her story and praying over her. I still remember prophesying “God is a good father, He is a good Father, He will never leave nor forsake you”- words that anyone who had a horrible father would need to hear.

Since then as I prophesied she has quit her job and traveled overseas to follow her dreams and the path God has for her. She has become a prized friend who I pray with often. I believe she is a pioneer who will deliver many women from shame as she discovers her identity in Christ Jesus.

Here is the testimony she shared with me. Is one sheep worth it? Yes. I pastor those who no one will reach, I pastor lost sheep. God has sent me all over the world to reach those who institutions will never reach.

I might not have grown up with a dad but I grew up with Father God and when you grow up with Father God you have an anointing to break off the spirit of shame and rejection. My dad said “she’s not mine” to my mother when I was born. But I am daddy God’s.

I am beloved by the Father. And no matter who abused you- daddy God loves you and knew you before you were born!

Her testimony –

How I met Rebekka

My name is Kelly J. Yeh. I met Rebekka in summer 2018. I was her Couchsurfing host and I hosted her in Taipei for 3 days. Before I met her, I took a trip to Sydney, Australia to visit my friend and roomate whom I met in university in the church. I was deeply touched by my friend’s hospitality so I decided to host some people.

I used Couchsurfing when I was traveling in Europe so I thought it’s time to give back to the community. God gave me a room that I could host for about 2-3 weeks so I got the chance to host her. It was really amazing that God arranged us to meet. God told me in that evening to check out what’s happening on the Couchsurfing app, so after work I decided to lay on bed and just browse through. Then she sent me the request. I read that she was born in Germany, so I decided to host her. And I didn’t think too much.

Before I met Rebekka – about my personal background

I was born in a Christian family. My father and mother were introduced by a couple in the church and they got baptized before they got married. My father used to be very abusive toward my family and I. He passed away in 2009 because of liver problems. He used to hurt my family verbally and physically and most of my childhood I was in fear. I’m a person who values justice, so I always fought back verbally. But he never listened. I remember one day back when I was 8, my father hit me without any reason.

I had to PEE and CRY to had him stop hitting me. When I was 18 and after the university entrance exam, I sat in the living room using the computer and was just relaxing and reading. And then he started to yell at me and complained me about using the computer because it was “such a waste of electricity”. I really hated God for giving me a dad like this because all the sisters in the church I know have good parents and are rich. I didn’t understand why I had to suffer all this. I also got bullied during middle school and high school (I went to the top ones in Taipei) because of not cheating in tests with nearly everybody else in class.

Overall, my childhood was kind of miserable. You can say that. But I did all my best to try to make myself happy and not have depression. For example, reading novels, listening to music, going to the gym, etc. Until I met Rebekka and until she prayed for me.

Testimony

So when I hosted her, before we met, she texted me that she’s very happy to walk around the campus of the university I worked at. It seemed to be where her father use to work. She also told me she was amazed by the architecture inside the library.

When we met, we told each other about ourselves. She was happy to know that I’m Christian and she told me that God told her to come to Taipei for a visit. I asked her why she came to Taiwan, and she said she wanted to meet her dad, and she is staying in the countryside of Taipei County – Shuangxi. She told me God wanted her to come to Taiwan so she booked the ticket and her mom was angry and didn’t talk to her for a while.

When I went back to my room, God actually told me that I should host her and I should really value and honor this person.I was kind of surprised to hear this as God seldom spoke so clear and loud to me.

The second night I hosted her, I attended the counseling session that my sister organized for my family nearby Taipei Main Station. I was really upset after attending it because my mom still wouldn’t listen to my painful experiences of growing up. I felt so BOUNDED and RESTRICTED in a sense. I went back to my place and knocked her door and I wanted to pray with her. She didn’t answer.

The day after that day we met each other in the morning, and I asked her to pray with me and I told her about my story that I described in the first session of this article and what I experienced last night. She told me that she had experienced strong spiritual warfare last night when she slept. I told her I felt so sorry about that because it was partly because of me that she experienced this, and she said it’s ok as she experienced this quite often.

She hold my hands and we prayed together. After that I felt so much better. I felt that I’m not afraid of things anymore. I felt that I have the courage and I can be happy again, without making the effort every day to make myself happy. It’s actually a tiring process to repeat, to find things to satisfy your soul and spirit.

I have also been praying for a breakthrough for almost 3 years. God has listened to my prayers. And I have been praying for the healing for my period problem for 15 years. Now I’m still waiting for God to heal me.

I was also a wounded and lost sheep in a sense. I got hurt by the church because a lot of people in my church value money and appearance. My family is not the richest and due to my childhood experience, my period has never been normal again (I’m literally waiting for God to heal me now as I write ) and I have gained some weight though I don’t eat a lot. Literally only one sister whom I met at work wanted to introduce a brother to me. No one in my church value my appearance in the church. They value more the newcomers. I have attended the church for more than 10 years in faith but I really was just tired of it.

After we prayed together, she told me that she felt that she knows why God sent her to Taiwan, and she felt that her work is done here. I asked her about she’s going next, and she said Korea.

We have been keeping in touch and encouraging each other since then, as in 2 month I also embarked on my journey of following Jesus in Europe, starting in London as God spoke to me about going to London.

About what I’m doing now

I decided to quit my job and take the trip and follow Jesus in September, 2018. It took me 2 months to decide to do it as it’s a big decision. I’ve been traveling since 16th. October 2018. I’ve also battled with a lot of kinds of evil spirits, all kinds of attacks like toothache that almost made me book a ticket back to Taiwan, a “healer“ that claimed to be able to heal my period problem but turned out to just wanted to date me and didn’t have good intention. Rebekka told me she saw an evil spirit and advised me to left his place. He had two roommates.

I remember during my trip in London, I was really hesitant about going to Germany as the flights are expensive and I had bad memories about Germany. I had a bike accident there and my colleague from China prosecuted me and spoke to my thesis advisor and accused me in everything and had me to quit my job.

It was a great spiritual warfare and I really had trauma. Rebekka told me that God wanted her to tell me about going to Germany because I wouldn’t listen. She donated me USD 25 and thus I had the courage to book the ticket to Germany because of this. Later I gave her back this money because I wanted to her to buy something to celebrate her birthday. God provided me more than that amount, as my friend whom I helped and gave lots of advice with finally moved into an apartment and found a job working in a hostel rather than staying continuously in hostels and was constantly looking for a job.

Where I’m currently at and where I plan to go

I’m writing from Tel Aviv, Israel. The Holy Land. I’m almost done with my 8-month Europe trip and I’m taking a rest here. There is really good energy and good vibes here! You should definitely consider visiting here. You won’t regret it. God provided me a host for about one week and where I can have some rest and finally don’t have to be stressed out about finance about housing. I will move to the hostel later in a few days as I feel God has arranged some people He wants me to meet.

Today God spoke me about going to Brisbane, Australia. I will also go back to Taiwan for a short while. This is great faith, but I decide that I want to take a leap in faith to see what God has arranged me there.

My dream is to have a happy family and to experience once in my life what a happy and loving family is like. Also to help people. I hope to open a cafe or a hostel to help people. It’s a really big decision for me as I have a masters degree, have taught in university, have won the best paper award in Taiwan, etc. But I want to see what God can do. I really want to see that. And experience that.

I hope my testimony helps you. May God bless you! I hope to write about the divine encounters in my spirit-led trip later when I have some more time.

Yours truly,

Kelly J. Yeh

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To The LGBT community- A Letter From God

On June 29, 2019June 29, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, Hollywood, jesus, love, Relationships, spirituality, travel, writer

You are so beautiful, beyond description

I pictured who you would become, who you are. Always so beautiful, your laughter, your smile. I always knew you, even now.

I know your pain, I was there with you. The pain of rejection, I was always there. Even when you felt alone, I was there. I know you push me away, you think I’m judging or condemning you but all I have for you is love.

You stand there, laughing on the outside, but inside crying.

There’s a deep wound of rejection bound so tight by attitude and perceptions of how you should be around certain people, certain groups.

I know you’ve been fighting all your life but if you’ll have me, you’ll be able to rest knowing I’ve already accepted you just as you are.

In my embrace you won’t have to fight anymore, you can rest in my arms.

You are beautiful to me. Whatever you call yourself, you’re my child.

Since you’re my child, I will never leave nor forsake you. Since you’re my child I’ll always fight for you. Since you’re my child I’ll always protect and provide for you.

Since you’re my child I’ve conquered death for you. Since you’re my child, I’ve felt the burn of rejection for you. Since you’re my child, I want you to be vulnerable with me.

It’s time to come out of the cave and show who you really are.

I don’t care what you call yourself, gay trans, fluid, binary, you are human and worthy of my love.

You are my child. Now you are mine and forever loved.

You are not an orphan, a reject or an outcast. You are a child of God.

Your true identity is being my child. You are royalty bought by the blood of Jesus. Show me your wounds, I will heal them.

I love you.

– Jesus

Xoxo

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When Serving Becomes Our Identity, Instead Simply Being a Child Of God

On June 19, 2019June 19, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, jesus, lifecoach, love, prophetic word, relationship, self-help, spirituality, travel, writer

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I feel we are in a season of coming back to Jesus to get our self-worth, versus basing it on how we serve Him.

I just had a dream for my brother in Christ and I told him that he needed to slow down and spend time with Jesus and he said that I was right as he has traveled the last 2 months ministering to people, healing the sick, etc but that he was worn down and tired.

Sometimes in ministry we start to believe a few lies that I want to dismantle today-

Lie 1- Your identity comes from how many people you help.

Truth- Your identity comes from being a child of God, who God so loved that He sent His only child (Jesus) to be sacrificed for you.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1-2

Lie 2- God will only bless you if you obey.

Truth – Jesus paid the price on the cross for your blessings. His work was perfect obedience to the Father and even if you don’t perfectly obey, He does not punish you for it. I want to reiterate that He wants us to live in freedom, not paranoia. Our hearts should only “do things” out of DESIRE, not duty.

Obedience comes from the overflow of the knowledge that He loves you, not because IF YOU DON’T OBEY that He will take away what He wants to bless you with.

That is living under the law. When we live under the law of condemnation and punishment, working for our blessings, we will not receive it- why? Because it will always be conditioned on how much we serve and do, versus from the perfect knowledge that we are loved by God no matter what.

This reminds of the prodigal son story. The older brother worked in bitterness thinking he had to earn his father’s blessings versus the prodigal son who experienced God’s blessings by doing what he wanted to – then realizing that his ways were not working and ended up running back to his father.

God wants to have a genuine relationship with you, not one that is forced or led by duty and obligation.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

When Jesus said it is finished, it is finished.

Lie 3- You need to sacrifice yourself when you are a Christian

Truth- God wants you to know that you are worthy, you are worthy of love and a good life.

People who constantly sacrifice themselves for others believe that they are not worthy unless they are bringing something to the table. I’ve met people who say they do a lot for others because they want to show others that they are worthy….but people shouldn’t love or bless you because of what you do for them but who you are.

You don’t owe anything to anyone. You paid by being born.

You don’t tell a baby that “one day you will pay by buying me a house” (Asian parents). You are a gift from heaven and you are a delight.

You are worthy of love just because you exist.

God has grand purposes and destinies for you but He wants you to live out of a deep place of intimate love with Him. He wants you to know you are loved beyond comprehension first and foremost. If we serve or help others out of any other agenda (such as to prove that we are worthy to receive His blessings), then we are not living out of true grace.

I’m not sure at what point I started to believe that I just needed to do more on this journey, but towards the end I was starting to wane in my passion. I was not being fed in my heart. I realize that I need a lot of alone time and I wasn’t getting it. When you are constantly serving others their voices start to muffle your own thoughts and desires. I’m grateful for the revelations God has been giving me in these few days.

I pray today God would break off the slavery mentality and orphan mentality that ties you to “obligation”. You need to know that He loves you to the moon and back.

And HIS PROMISES FOR YOU ARE YES AND AMEN! AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO HAVE WHAT YOU WANT AS HE ALREADY BECAME THE PERFECT SACRIFICE ON YOUR BEHALF.

May you live completely from a place of knowing you are LOVED by God, and that your life will be driven by LOVE not FEAR. His love for you is not dependent on what you do for Him, His love for you is complete and finished. He does not look at your “disobedience” as He does not see blemish in you- He only sees Jesus in you (who obeyed perfectly onto the cross).

I pray for the ministers and servants out there that you will not be confused by the enemy who tries to tell you that your worth comes from how much you help or don’t help others. That is a form of condemnation and accusation! I break off the spirit of python that tries to choke the life out of your heart and dreams in Jesus name! I break off false responsibility in Jesus name!

Our lives should never be driven by “I SHOULD”- your life should be driven by “I WANT”.

Sow-

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Princess “Love” Diaries

On June 17, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dating, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, jesus, lawofattraction, lifecoach, love, relationship, self-help, spirituality, travel, writer

I wrote a lot today but after watching “Late Night”, I was even more inspired to write truthfully. Mindy has a way of inspiring me. She is not white, she is in fact ASIAN! It’s good to see a fellow Asian writing movies.

SO I named this blog post Princess Diaries because unlike the princess in many stories, I have been the prince in my own life for my whole life. Jesus was my prince sure, but I was very masculine growing up, I had to be my own bread winner, to support myself since I was very young. Even if I didn’t really want to, something inside of me said that I must “DO DO DO” and I never understood the laid back life. It was only until I understood grace that I learned to rest….but then God took me on a journey last year that seriously wore me out. I LOST all my strength and even my desires.

I AM A PRINCESS and I want to live like one. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. What I mean is so many women have fought for rights and I get that, but for once I’d like someone to take care of me. I get that I’m a pioneer but I can’t go on any longer forging a new path, for once I like 100 people behind me saying “YOU CAN DO IT!”

I’m tired of praying in tongues trying to encourage myself is what I’m saying. I’m not alone. I have gathered women on my journey who have contended and prayed for me and I AM SO GRATEFUL.

But I’m asking God now “OKAY I’m ready for my prince!” Like the real life one.

I think sometimes singles look at married couple and think “how did he/she get that husband/wife, are they more qualified than I” as if it’s a job that you need to be qualified for…and when you’re following Jesus and you’ve sacrificed

You wonder “why did they find each other” when she didn’t really do anything as if husband/wives are like rewards you get for following Jesus.

And then when the life partner takes a freaken long time to come you think “what did I do wrong?”

Well good news- it’s not something you earn.

Because a life partner is a gift, like anything else good in this life, not something you earn by your works.

And my advice is, just don’t settle. Wait for the right person. Everyone has their own life story and no one has the same timeline. Sometimes when you’ve waited a long time for some of God’s promises to come to pass in your life, you feel forgotten…you think, what the hell God. Serious?

Where did I get it wrong?

Did I waste too much time with my ex? DO I need to dye my hair? Cut my hair? DO I need to go on tinder like everyone else? Do I need to go on dates with people I’m only 10% interested in?

And my answer is….no.

You are enough.

I know it sounds so simple, but you’re not lacking anything and when you journey through life, YOUR LIFE PARTNER WILL COME. Period.

Don’t wait for those “things” and “people” to come. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE NOW.

A year ago when I was in LA, I watched over 70 movies in 7 months by myself (save 2 that I watched with a girl I met at the gym and 1 where I divinely sat next to her the whole movie….and at the end she called my name)- btw I had moviepass. LOL.

I LOVE movies and I want to write and direct them.

Here’s the thing, I didn’t wait for a date to watch these movies, I just followed my heart. Don’t ever wait for others to get it or to come along your adventures, most people are too slow and too scared to do it.

It is coming- whatever you have dreamed of. Don’t give up hope just because you don’t see it now. I know that waiting seems indefinite but I always tell people, “well you are only single for the first part ish of your life” (for the youngans I’m talking to), then you are married for the rest of your life. So, what do you want to do now?

I want you to start dreaming again. I know many things died in your life- perhaps a dream, a person, a career….but what would it look like if your life was a phoenix rising up to the skies?

I’ve only started dreaming again. I’ve had so many disappointments that I’ve stopped dreaming and even in the midst of ministry, I felt my heart was neglected somehow. I feel like this is the season to receive everything I’ve sown into others.

May the deaths in your vision resurrect. May your heart pound again and may you have butterflies again. May you laugh with excitement and jump up and down due to glee. May your eyes light up with hope and joy. May the flowers that you pass by in dark seasons become vivid yellows and blues. May your words and colors flow again. May you paint with renewed passion. May you conduct and produce all that the creator put in you. May you receive everything you’ve been yearning for. May you have people that you call home, who support you and create a safe place for your heart.

You won’t have to prove yourself in this season.

It’s too tiring. No. This season, you won’t have to explain yourself. This season, it will be filled with ease. This season, you will receive an award for being you. This season you won’t pretend to be happy when you’re not and sad when you’re not. This season you will smile with authenticity and you will only allow the genuine ones into your life.

There was too much deception and manipulation in the last season, too many wolves in sheep skin, too many deceptive spirits and too many falls into dark caves.

This season you will soar and it will be easy.

I declare this over you. It will be an easy season, where you will naturally reap everything Jesus paid for you to have.

I readily submit myself to this plan. For now I have nothing to lose.

In Jesus name amen.

Journey with me on this path of recovering your heart and dreams friend- sow a seed: thank you!

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Where Is Home? Finding Stability in The Chaos

On June 14, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, lifecoach, travel, Uncategorized

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I decided to write because I started sobbing. Why I was sobbing…Let me explain.

I just got back to LA but instead of the normal LA life, I found myself being called by God to minister everyday. I was pushed and forced out of my comfort zone (in LA). One day I was going 40 miles out on a bus, another day I’m traveling. I’ve been spending almost 4 hours on public transportation everyday. God has led me to the people He wanted me to relay messages to.

Like today I got to meet a father and son in the wee early morning. I felt so at home with them. My heart felt alive.

The reason I was even going to Calabasas was because I saw an audition to be a rainbow hair model. I really want rainbow hair. However, I didn’t like the idea of waking up early but I felt that God wanted me to go.

So the night before I said “God if you want me to go, then wake me up”. I didn’t set an alarm.

At 4:30 am God woke me up with a revelation and I blogged about it (the previous post). At 5:30 am I decided to go back to sleep…however God said “wake up, go now!”

I was like “fine”. I took a bus around 6:15 am and when I got to Downtown I was at the bus stop when a man and his son asked me if the bus stopped there, I said yes. Immediately I felt a connection. God said to sit next to him so we talked the whole way. He showed me the book he wrote and published on amazon. He said he directed films and his son (8 years old) said he wanted to make money and he found an audition for him.

We happened to be going to the same studio.

Strangely, I said I started making money when I was 8 years old too, selling toys after school. I said usually the reason kids want to make money is because they feel insecure, like I did at the time. I saw my mother struggling and I wanted to help by being independent at a young age.

God has a strange way of connecting us to people with similar experiences. Then he told me how he drove a bus and sold t-shirts out of it, he traveled throughout the US. I prayed over him and said that in God’s eyes he is not lacking and that he needed to speak his truth without fear of what others thought of him. He told me how he was adopted but that aristocrats and celebrities always gravitate towards him because of his authenticity.

I really loved meeting them and enjoyed spending time with them.

After I arrived 2 hours early, I waited around for my audition. God kept telling me that I would be the only one and sure enough I was the only one that showed up for the audition. However, because of my hair length I was not picked.

I felt like a failure for some reason…maybe it was the way the lady asked for more photos of me saying “I need to see what you look like” while she was obviously standing in front of me…LIKE HELLO CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE?

My mind raced- “she must be racist, she must not think I’m pretty enough, is it because of my growing lower chin, is it because I have no makeup on?”

I felt so depleted and disappointed…”I thought you said I would get picked!” I said to God. No answer. But deep down I knew that God was somehow protecting me. It was just an off-spirit about that place.

At first I sat in one place hoping she’d change her mind. I just really wanted rainbow hair. I don’t know why. Maybe rainbows represent promises fulfilled and maybe I felt like I hadn’t seen that many promises fulfilled. Sure I’ve ministered in 14 countries in the last year and have seen OTHER PEOPLES’ promises fulfilled, but for some reason I felt that I was STILL waiting for mine to be fulfilled.

So I thought “I was the only one, I had no competition, yet I still didn’t get what I want?” That’s how I felt. The lady had to tell me “you’re free to go” before I could get myself up.

I went to the bathroom and started crying.

I was disappointed. I was tired. It felt like my life, and I know it was the enemy of course...but I was just tired of being disappointed you know? Whether it came to a potential suitor not ending up being my future husband, the relationship not working out….or feeling like I had a home and then going back to LA and being accused by my mother instead of celebrated.

My heart felt really tired.

Again? It felt.

Then I nodded off in the bus heading back to Downtown. I saw a lot of drunk people, high people on the bus. I smelled weed, I saw drunk people hitting on women. This is LA, but it felt foreign. “It’s gotten worse” I thought as I sat in the crowded Orange Line Bus to North Hollywood.

It occurred to me….”Hollywood is full of orphans looking for approval”.

The guy with a guitar strapped to his heart in the bus.

A guy with golden chains around his neck while he spoke to his friend on the phone, “everyone who is anyone is out in Hollywood trying to make it”.

God said “well you are my daughter and you don’t need anyone’s approval”. That’s when God really set me free because a part of my heart was still hoping to make it in Hollywood (to share the light of Jesus). I thought I needed to appear in movies and tv shows to be influential but God was saying “I don’t need that, I don’t need a network, I don’t need a tv channel, I will do it my way through you”.

You don’t need whoever you think you need.

I think that’s why people end up bowing down to people versus God. They think they need the job, the paycheck, the husband, the abuser, the relationship, the friend….but you don’t need anyone or anything but God. Because whoever you are codependent on usually begin to abuse or lord over you. That’s what I talked about in my last post, Sarah versus Hagar.

So everything seemed to be piling up. In addition, after just coming back to LA, living a life of ministry on the road, I’m still doing ministry here. Then God says “it’s time to go” again. I leave LA June 24. I just follow His spirit everyday. My flesh is screaming, I don’t want to!!! I want to live a normal life!! But my spirit is like “YES, take me!”

Because of the hardships and challenges I’ve gone through this year coming back actually feels like coming off the battlefield in the army.

I feel like a soldier coming back to civilian life, yet…still on the battlefield spiritually. I haven’t seen any of my friends yet….yet everything feels different. Recently I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night from music in the air. I don’t know where the music is coming from but maybe it’s spiritual music.

Maybe it’s music to awaken my heart.

So when my mom texts me and asks me where I’m moving to next, I say “I’m actually leaving the country again” and I start sobbing. I only got to see her for 3 days as she had to work out of town. We were able to reconcile and communicate on a better level – praise God.

Nothing feels stable but I know I must look to Jesus at all times. I can’t rely on my environment or people for stability, I must look at God alone.

I don’t know why God chose me for this type of life – actually I do know- because I’m willing. I’m willing to overcome the fears that bind most people to a “stable life” -though the stable life is actually filled with fear that create stagnant hearts and lives.

My friend said I’m like a piece of iron that God had to mold so that I can withstand anything. That’s great. Basically I’m like Iron Woman. How attractive, haha.

Just when I start to feel at home I have to leave. But that’s part of moving with God’s spirit. We must jump with Him and not linger. He has been telling me that every morning. Don’t linger, just go. We linger because we feel like we are not enough, we don’t have enough (money, clothes, abilities, friends, opportunities), we are not wearing the right clothes, etc….

But when God says “go”- you have to go!

That has been me for the last year. Feeling unprepared everyday but just going with God. He says “don’t prepare what you are going to say in front of the governors, when you get there I’ll speak through you”. In the same way, God wants us to be unprepared and to TRUST HIM to speak through us, work in THAT MOMENT.

WE ARE OVER- PREPARERS! BUT WE PREPARE OUT OF OUR OWN LOGIC AND REASONING- Not God’s logic. You have read about the many times I didn’t have enough money for a hostel or something on the road and God gave me the specific instructions I needed in that moment. Or He asked me to ask someone for help and in actuality they needed a prophetic word or healing from God.

The divine appointment was in my need.

The divine appointment needed something from me as a messenger of God and I needed something materially. Jesus even said to the disciples, bring no money bag. That’s pretty crazy. I think most missionaries don’t live that way. But somehow I’ve experienced it and I do not wish it upon anyone…yet, now I have a lot less fears than before.

We don’t see God moving because we rely more on other things. We don’t give Him room to move when we’ve already filled the room with our own preparations.

So how about you just jump?

It’s time to jump.

Partner with me and see God move powerfully in your life. I ask you not to just give your money but your life to Jesus today! Thank you for giving! I pray God’s peace and joy over you in Jesus name!

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John 3:16

^“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Ask Jesus into your heart, He wants a relationship with you. He died on the cross and rose again for your sins and when you receive Him He only sees Jesus in you, not your blemishes and faults.

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True Freedom

On June 13, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dream, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, law of attraction, love, Relationships, spirituality

I had a dream I killed a rat.

The Lord told me to write this.

“These things are being taken figuratively: The women represent two covenants. One covenant is from Mount Sinai and bears children who are to be slaves: This is Hagar. Now Hagar stands for Mount Sinai in Arabia and corresponds to the present city of Jerusalem, because she is in slavery with her children. But the Jerusalem that is above is free, and she is our mother. For it is written:

“Be glad, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
shout for joy and cry aloud,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband.

Now you, brothers and sisters, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born according to the flesh persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit.It is the same now. But what does Scripture say? “Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman’s son.” Therefore, brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman”

He said to me “write about freedom”. Recently I had a friend come to me and say that I don’t need to tell her prophetic words so often, that she wants to live in freedom.

It made me think about how I went through my own “freedom” of being promiscuous, needing alcohol, being broken.

When I started to prophesy over myself and allow others to do so – and then I believed what God said- I started to step into the freedom God had for me.

When Jesus said “sell everything and follow me” – it was a prophetic word.

A prophetic word is something that hasn’t happen on the earth but is already true in the spirit.

I could have said no but I trusted God. All my own ways of living only led to more pain, hangovers and regrets.

All my own strivings and attempts to find my life partner was resulting in degrading myself.

That is why yesterday God said it’s time to come out. And I posted the following.

To my surprise, all the comments were positive and a few women have started to message me about their secret of waiting or perhaps not waiting anymore.

I realized that was a part of my story that I still felt ashamed to tell because I was shamed for waiting. People told me I need to have experience to know who my husband is. People said “your standards are too high, you should just settle”.

But when your mother is Sarah (grace), you live in the covenant of relationship with God bought by the blood of Jesus. So what you believe God for, a prophetic word or promise- it will come to pass if you walk in it. In this case, for me it means trusting God and waiting for the right man instead of jumping on every guy that looks like Mr. Handsome.

When your mother is Hagar (the law and your own striving), you try to attain your promises by your own flesh. This means that you will try everything else but trusting God and being led by His spirit.

A lot of times I prophesy over people and it’s not what they want to hear.

Perhaps it’s a guy they are seeing, or a job.

And I think to myself “why do they need so many reminders?”

But me myself? It did take God awhile to get to me too. Like I said after I broke up with my ex in 2014 I went on a dating spree and only after meeting many men who only wanted to sleep with me, did I come to my end and said “God I give up, you do it”. These men only wanted an instant gratification, they did not desire to love me.

But somehow I still trusted God enough to say “God I’m going to wait for my husband to have sex”. Because I believe God for the right man.

And that’s Sarah and Abraham waiting for God’s promises. At one point when they were a hundred or so, they inherited a promise of Isaac which God supernaturally gave them.

When we strive to make things happen on our way, without God we step into slavery. Hagar’s child was a slave. Whatever we attain by the law, we become a slave to. Hagar and her son never shares in the inheritance of the free women.

Proverbs 10:22

The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.

What God has shown me is true freedom means being free from shame, guilt, condemnation, fear.

So a prophetic word is always to bring you further into the freedom Jesus paid for you on the cross to have.

Yesterday I prophesied to a man that he is enough and he needs to go ask his estranged parents for help. He said he has spent a lot of time trying to find peace in his soul and I said “no you just need to do it even if they accuse you”.

God has told me to do things that I was not excited to do.

I sold everything to follow Him. I returned a leased car before the lease term was over. I knew my credit would go down but I needed to live for His kingdom and not my kingdom any longer. This means that I needed to be car- less and not live to pay for a car which did not give me the opportunity to minister to people on the streets or buses. I needed to trust that God would provide what I needed even if I didn’t have excellent credit.

And true to what He has told me, I haven’t needed a good credit at all. In fact, God has provided what I’ve needed without credit.

God told me to move back home. In actuality I was at my friend’s house and God said at 3pm you’ll know where you will stay. My mom has already offered to let me stay at her house. I started crying. Hell no I don’t want to move back home. But He understood so He didn’t make it explicit. He used this tactic so I had no other choice but to move home.

During the two years I stayed with my mom I reconciled with her. God knew that needed to happen for me to come into my blessings as well. I had never gotten allowance from my mother as I worked since I was 8 years old. It was the first time she gave me money.

I learned what grace and being a child of God actually meant in that time of rest! It’s not something I work for but something I receive just because I am God’s child.

God told me to break up with my ex. I needed a few confirmations and I got them. God knew I wouldn’t listen to one friend, but it was strangers I talked to that made me realize he wasn’t the one.

Yes we are stubborn people.

That stubbornness comes from us not trusting God. But when we come to the end of ourselves we start to see God’s intention for us is to be whole and healed.

Our brokenness prevents us from living the life God called us to.

So when I prophesy, you may not want to listen but it’s not me – it’s God saying “you deserve so much more than what you’ve settled for”.

Freedom is not continuing in a mediocre life or philandering with whoever we want, because it led me to more pain and tears. Freedom is being a child of God, knowing you are not an orphan and you have a father who guides and takes care of you.

The sheep knows her shepherd’s voice.

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Jesus Was Not A People Pleaser

On June 2, 2019 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, culture, dream, entrepreneur, faith, God, healing, health, jesus, law of attraction, lifecoach, lifehack, love, Love blog

Today I had a huge revelation.

I don’t realize this but at times I feel pressured to be something I’m not because some people use financial contribution to manipulate or force me to be something I’m not.

In the beginning of ministry, when I was in Bali- a Christian wrote me and asked me several questions. How much do you spend per month, how do you know it is God speaking to you, etc. He said by knowing these things he would be more knowledgeable about how he and his wife could support me.

At first I replied thinking, wow- this guy and his wife wants to support me and contribute to what I’m doing.

But then after he said that God told him to observe what I’m doing.

I doubt that God told him to micro manage me. When God says to people – watch and learn, He is not saying “micromanage her and find out the how’s”…He is saying “watch how she steps out in faith without knowing how”.

That is how I’ve lived in the last year and even before that.

After quitting my job in 2011 I never really knew how God would provide exactly since I was freelancing and even picking up bottles to recycle…

But I heard His voice and His voice would lead me continually into the unknown.

So when God tells you to give to my ministry, He wants you to be connected to a faith that continues to step out without knowing how.

I have many people trying to micromanage me or hoping that they know everything about anything, but the truth is – I don’t even know where I’m staying tomorrow but God just says go.

That’s how I live now.

I don’t have my ducks in a row, I just get on the bus.

Sometimes I don’t know how the charge went through on my debit card but days like this, because of the weekend, I’m amazed that a lot of pending charges haven’t gone through and I can use it freely.

I live in a dimension of life that most don’t understand.

Why would a Buddhist/atheist at a bus stop donate $100 after telling him my testimony? I don’t know. God moved His heart. He said he donates to homeless people and I asked if he would donate to me. He said yes of course, a woman on her own, it’s incredible he said.

Why would a cashier just tell me he never met his dad? To a customer like me? So that I could give him my contact info and most likely meet with him after…I told him that I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and that I understood.

People think by understanding everything I’m doing that I’ve qualified under their list of qualifications to receive their financial support, but I don’t need it.

Not if I’m going to be scrutinized and manipulated.

God’s provision and blessing does not need human qualifications. I’m qualified by Jesus’ blood alone and I don’t need to bend and break for peoples’ approval- Christians or non-Christians.

If I’m outcasted by the majority of Christians I’m okay with that. I’m approved if by God, not man.

Why would God use a young woman like me? Jesus’ blood qualified me, not my education or ordained position at a church. Not my title as a pastor or prophet, not my smarts or eloquent words…I’m qualified by Jesus’ sacrifice!

Nothing else. Not by how much I read the Bible or how much I pray, not by church attendance or how much I love people.

And what continues to gain my access and provision is my choice to believe it’s by His finished work and not by my works!

If you give you give because Jesus gave it to you, not because you feel obligated to. You’re free to do whatever you want!

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