Birthing In The Secret Place + Promotion Is Coming

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The Lord told me to write about this.

When a woman is pregnant, the fetus grows inside her womb to protect the baby from outside threats. Her womb is like a covering, a place of protection, a secret place that no one else can enter. 

I felt like our DREAMS are the same. We need a secret place to birth our dreams. Whatever God has told you, you can’t share with just anyone.

I had many years of learning to walk in the secret place. I had many dreams, dreams like “I’m going to be like Asian Oprah” or “I’m going to travel the world speaking to people”, some dreams were a source of ridicule and jokes for my relatives. They looked at my life and couldn’t see any hint of “success”.

The truth is God was working in my heart.

He started me off this way- asking me to pray or pastor just one person.

This person could be in the gym, in a swimming pool, in the movie theater, in a bathroom, on the streets, in the park. 

Many of us want a pulpit or a stage, but we refuse to love the one person God has put in our lives. That is why God sent me home to love the one person I thought was the MOST difficult to love, my own mother. I spent 2 years zipping my mouth when I wanted to scream, I spent 2 years learning patience.

I learned to submit and to obey God in the hard places. Am I perfect? No. I learned to apologize when I didn’t want to, I learned to communicate my pain even if she might not understand.

I sense this on God’s heart- when He calls you and  you answer, will you do it without recognition? Will you do it in secret? Will it be enough to hear Him say “well done servant?”

In due time He surely rewards those who obey Him- Joseph obeyed God by interpreting a fellow inmates’ dreams. He did what he could, where he was situated. He didn’t wait for God to put him in Pharaoh’s presence before he did what he was called to do. 

The worse thing was that one of the inmates actually forgot about him “ The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.” Genesis 40:23

How many of you have been forgotten by someone? Maybe you did something nice and that person didn’t choose to promote you in the job or in your life. Maybe they actually turned on you. But the LORD NEVER FORGETS, even if one person forgets you! 

“When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream” Genesis 41:1

“Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. 10 Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. 11 Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 12 Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. 13 And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.”

“So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon.When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.”

“Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace,and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.”

I felt such a leap in my spirit as I reread this story.

The LORD wants you to know that HE SEES YOU and whatever you’ve been doing faithfully HE WILL reward you.

But first, you must believe you are worthy.

The truth is I battle with unworthiness, sometimes not feeling good enough, sometimes feeling discouraged by the voices of the enemy, sometimes I experience headaches and all forms of attacks, I experience bad dreams, sometimes I feel like I can’t go on anymore, I feel lack, I worry about how the future will unfold, I worry about money, I worry about how God will provide….

BUT like yesterday, I had to press in. Whether it’s praying in tongues or reading out loud truths about who I am, whether it’s asking people to pray for me, I had to press in.

It’s a spiritual warfare, those voices, those diseases, those sicknesses, unbelief.

But you must choose to battle in the secret place. 

GOD I believe, but help my unbelief.

I’ve been a pioneer, when God called me, I didn’t know how I would ever survive. There were tests, emotional wounding, dishonor, humiliation. I was driven to the walls, I thought I was going insane. I said God I can’t take this anymore. I’m following you but I have to bear persecution, this is inhumane. I’m following you, but I have to be humiliated, shamed, accused? 

But 2 years later, after I obeyed when He said “sell everything and follow me”, I am sitting in South Africa and I’ve ministered in 4 countries already. I don’t speak behind pulpits, I don’t speak on stages.

I hold hands with janitors in bathrooms and pray for them. I lay hands on homeless people, I’ve told my testimony in churches (in unofficial ways, in organic ways), I’ve prayed for pastors and cleaners, I walk up to strangers in restaurants.

Today if you are going through battles of your own, read this out loud.

I am a child of God. I am not an orphan. The father is taking care of me. I am not alone. He is with me always. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will Provide and protect me. Hosts of angels are watching over me.

Will you birth in the secret place? God is protecting you and that is why you may not be getting the recognition and honor you deserve. God is also testing your heart, are you doing it out of pure love or out of selfish desire? Are you loving people to get something back or are you TRUSTING GOD to recompense you?

And also it is important to protect your BABY (DREAMS) from people who will destroy or abort it. It might mean not talking to certain relatives for a while, cutting ties with certain friends, not watching movies or tv shows that will hurt the conception and growth of your dreams, it may mean sacrificing or surrendering a job or a savings account for the sake of building His kingdom, it may mean moving to another city.

Would you prayerfully consider sowing a seed today? I’ve been ministering since July in Taiwan, Korea, Japan and South Africa. I will be going to China next. Funds are needed for me to continue ministering and praying for people on the ground. 

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38 I believe this verse truly as I have seen it in my own life. When I gave, I saw the Lord give more abundantly to me.

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Street pastor and prophet, Rebekka

May He bless you with peace and joy. You are enough in Christ Jesus. You are not lacking. You are whole. In Jesus name Amen.

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Single-Minded

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This is for all my single ladies and gents out there who are waiting for their true love.

I kept hearing this phrase “single-minded”. It has two meanings obviously, single on your mind and single minded “having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose” (google). 

I’ve been meeting a lot of ladies who have singleness on their mind. They are looking for their true love, their husband.

I have been single for 4 years, minus the dating spree I went on after breaking up with my ex. I knew he was not going to be my husband. We didn’t have any similar vision or calling in life.

For some reason, I actually feel quite peaceful about it. 

I think it’s because I have become single-minded – living with and for Jesus. 

This was not always the case. If anyone should be boy-crazed, drama filled or dysfunctional it should be me. If anyone should have a boat load of daddy issues, it should be me since I did not see my dad for 10 years; and still, I see him every few years. He lives in another country.

Yes, my former years in middle school and high school were filled with tears, heart ache, journals filled with love stories with imaginary boyfriends and celebrities. If anyone should still have love drama in my life, it should be me…I mean I was the one girl who stood across the street from a crush’s house and creepily watched him walk in his house everyday.

So why at this point of being single for 4 years am I so content and peaceful?

It took awhile for me to heal from my past relationships. My heart desired acceptance. My life was laden with rejection and abandonment issues that I felt unsafe and insecure. I felt like I was lacking and that I wasn’t enough.

I tried to find security in imaginary boyfriends or eventually real boyfriends.

Sometimes my security was anchored in a career, in my drive and type A personality.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how much I could do for others. This often led to burn out and sickness.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how productive I was or how accomplished I was.

I was also a mommy pleaser. I did things for my mom and others for acceptance and validation.

It took some time for God to break off those things from me. Slowly I found my voice, I found the voice to say “no”. I valued myself more. 

One day I woke up and unfriended and unfollowed every guy I ever dated or had feelings for.

I became “single-minded”. 

I didn’t want to play around with my destiny anymore. I wanted to be single-minded, to focus on the only one who already gave me true love and true validation. This one was named Jesus. He took me in His arms and whispered truths to me. He told me how much He loved me and how proud of me He was.

Yes, did I spend many holidays, new years, Christmas eve, Christmas alone?

Yes, but I wasn’t alone. God was with me and it was peaceful…no drama.

Did I find the silence sometimes confusing, unbearable? Yes.

Did I find myself going on walks feeling like I was always going to be in the stage I was in life? Yes.

Did I sometimes have negative thoughts that plagued me, speaking lies and telling me that I was “not enough”? Yes.

But Jesus was with me through it all. He helped me overcome all things and continues to do so. He is with me in the pain, the tears and the laughter. He is with me in all things. 

I was in a wilderness for the past 4 years, rebuilding my heart and following the still small voice. I was misunderstood, rejected and left for dead. But through it all, I became powerful in my spirit. Nothing could faze me. I was scorned by my own family members, accused when I was actually just following God.

The path that Jesus walks on is not always easy. It requires sacrifice.

But everything HE calls you to is worth it because you are always upgraded in your spirit, overcoming fear, anger, bitterness, grief. 

Suddenly you find yourself in the storm, sleeping peacefully while everyone is screaming for their lives.

That is the true single mindedness I’m talking about.

When you come to a place where you realize you are enough, you are not lacking, you are not single, you are whole in Christ Jesus. You are not a fragmented piece looking for your other half, you are a whole piece who will meet another whole piece.

Dream Again!

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I woke up from a dream this morning with a sense of wonder.

In this dream, my mom was chasing after a little boy and the little boy and his brother grew up. I then played with the older brother. He had little shower curtains and cute little towel (like for dolls). People around me said I was in love with him but I said I was just playing.

Then I went into a glass room where I was playing cello with two other musicians. I started playing intricately. There was no teacher, just mentors. The mentors said I was actually in tune even though the other two musicians was criticizing me.

When I woke up, I heard “Dream Again”.

The Lord said “dream and play like a child. The reason many have lost their ability to dream is because they attached their dreams to their identity, needing to prove themselves, needing to make a living….they stopped dreaming and playing with me.

They started worrying about how they will make money instead of trusting me to provide for them. In their search for worldly meaning and purpose, they stopped creating with me just for the joy of it.

They traded joy for WORLDLY SECURITY. 

They traded identity as a child of God for WORLDLY IMAGE. 

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What do you think it would LOOK like for children of God to TRUST GOD completely and WALK out their life with pure joy and childlike play? 

It would revolutionize the world. 

It would be fearless. It would be wild. It would be amazing. It would be FREEING. It would be joyful. It would be bliss.

We would share and give generously.

We would also receive abundantly.

God wants you to be so SECURE IN YOUR IDENTITY that you have no fear OF what others think about you- this is including those around you (like friends, family and coworkers…maybe even pastors or mentors).

What is it that you have been too scared to do?

God wants to dream and create with you. 

He will provide everything you need.

A DREAM is not something you chase, but it is purely creating with the creator of the world and finding joy in the process of creating with God. A dream is a relational process that draws you close to the Maker. 

A DREAM is also not about being first at anything, winning awards or getting applause from people. A dream is more about coming alive in your identity as sons and daughters of God.

Many of you may be wondering why God doesn’t just give things to you…He is actually removing the things that hinder you from dreaming and living freely (for example: the fear of men – what people think of you, the fear of lack, etc). Until these fears are removed, you cannot live freely the way God intended you to live.

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Breaking Off The Spirit of Mammon- The World’s System That Enslaves Our Souls

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I thought I was going to write about this later but this morning I felt such a clear word from God to write this revelation.

Last night I had a dream that clarified somethings.

He is breaking off the spirit of mammon. 

The Law of attraction is actually not biblical. God told me that He does not measure things by material manifestation or money. He told me that He can anoint a homeless person and give peace to someone who has no car. 

He can give you $30 and you can feel rich. Someone can have billions of dollars and not HAVE ANY presence of Jesus in them. 

God said “it grieves me that people measure their worth by how much they have, what they have, what talents they have, what they can do….my only measure is faith, hope and love”. 

People seek me for material things and they think it will satisfy their hearts but it is never enough.

If you are rich in love, then you are rich. But if you have no love, no Jesus in your life, you are poor. 

People think that if I think about something more luxurious I will get a more luxurious experience or thing. For example, trying to manifest a handbag. They think this will bring them happiness.

People also think that if they side with poverty, or not having anything they are more noble. This is not the case.

He said both is idolatry. Your worth has nothing to do with money. 

He said “when you worry more about money than on receiving love from me, you have allowed the spirit of mammon to take over your life”.

He said “you are worthy, so worthy I died for you on the cross so you can have my presence in you”.

When we attach our lives to what we think we need to live, we try to control what comes in and out, we have actually become enslaved by the Devil who desires to make us slaves to his system, his spiritual bondage. 

We have become our own gods instead of trusting God for provision.

God said IF you put me first in everything in your life, if you seek my presence- you will have everything. Because I am everything. 

When you start to judge by the dollar signs of things, you start to judge people who seem less fortunate, you think they are poor, they are despicable. You start to think that people have lots of money are “blessed”, that is not the case. You will think you are useless if you aren’t productive in society.

You will see things like the world and stop having the heart of God when you judge by the spirit of mammon.

GOD SAID “YOU HAVE AN ANOINTING, YOU CARRY MY PRESENCE, YOU CAN HEAL THE SICK, YOU CAN BREAK EVIL SPIRITS FROM PEOPLE, YOU ARE WORTHY because you carry the weight of my GLORY”.

The spirit of mammon is pervasive.

“”No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

The world thinks that if people are famous, rich, and known they are being esteemed by God, not the case.

Matthew 5:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 

I don’t write this carelessly. I have experience growing up in a single parent home where we constantly struggled with finance. I kept hearing “we don’t have enough, we can’t afford this”. But when we could, I wanted and needed things. The spirit of mammon controlled my thinking. 

I thought I needed to be financially independent to be influential. God humbled me. He told me to sell everything and follow Him. You know how He broke off the spirit of mammon and continues to do so? He tells me to give.

There were times I didn’t have enough and He told me to give it all, every last cent. I gave it as a sacrifice but as a way to die to my flesh. 

My prayer is “KILL EVERYTHING IN ME that has nothing to do with love. If I am worshiping anything other than you, destroy it”.

I KNOW it’s an intense way to live, but it’s because I found the one true thing worth living for- God.

Have I been in intense situations because of my desire to live for God? YES. Absolutely.

But it’s so worth it. Because at the end of it, I found that LOVE was the only thing worth living for. If it’s not love, kill it God.

I pray this will bring deliverance for you to be ABSOLUTELY free from WORRY about provision. ABBA FATHER LOVES YOU and HIS PRESENCE CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD.

When I first started stepping into my calling, I often ask God how He would provide because I was basically to love people, prophesy over them, encourage and empower them…but I found coaching to be straining (because I was so worried about making a living that everything was strife)…

And God said “feed my sheep, focus on love and I will provide. Love with purity and you will never lack. Have no motive but love. Look to me for provision”.

He is truly faithful.

It has been a wild ride.

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL THINGS will be added onto you.

“I WILL BE GLORIFIED in IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS and I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU when you PUT ME First. LET THE WORLD SEE WHO I AM when I SHOW UP IN A BIG WAY IN YOUR LIFE. YOU WILL NOT BE SHAMED because I AM LOOKING FOR THOSE THAT WILL STEP INTO THE DARKNESS AND BE THE LIGHT”.

God Closes Doors To Protect You From People Who Don’t See Your Worth

 

God closes doors and opportunities to protect you from people who don’t see your worth
This VIDEO will change your life and how you VIEW REJECTION!

I have BEEN rejected so many times in my life. In fact, my elementary and middle school years were riddled with bullying and rejection. This continued on in my life as I was different wherever I went. I didn’t realize it was because of the light in me, my refusal to compromise my values and who I am.

I hope this video will change your life and how you view rejection. I know it hurts but when you see the light shinning in you, you’ll realize, GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM and HE CREATED ME THIS WAY FOR A PURPOSE! 

Be grateful when God hides you. “I know you have glory on you, but I don’t want the wrong people to see it and take advantage of it. They won’t cherish you, they won’t celebrate you, they’ll scheme and misuse you!” says the Lord.

Be grateful when God hides you because He WANTS YOU TO SEE YOUR WORTH before anyone else does so that YOU WILL KNOW how to negotiate for what you are worth when the time comes….you won’t settle LOW or SELL YOURSELF SHORT for the glory that is in you. 

Be grateful when God hides you because He is waiting for the RIGHT people and opportunities to open their eyes to you so that your anointing won’t be tainted by the greed and selfishness of the wrong people. 

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You Are Already In Your Promise Land

I received the revelation that “I’m already in my promise land” when I watched Toure Roberts’ message last night. Thank you PT!

I was having a lot of spiritual warfare and nightmares where the devil was trying to choke me or stop me, but when I heard that “I was already in my promise land” and that is why the enemy is doing everything he can to stop me, I was filled with joy.

Yes, right. What was my promise land anyway?

I stepped into my calling and owned my identity, that’s my promise land. Nothing around me really changed, I didn’t move (Yet), I didn’t have an increase in finance or an immense amount of material increase, NO ONE around me promoted me or gave me a life changing opportunity….but what did God increase IN ME? 

God increased BOLDNESS in my faith.

God increased PEACE and SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY IN ME.

I also finally had the BOLDNESS To STEP into my calling as a prophet/preacher/pastor- ppp.

I didn’t go to seminary, no one ordained me. But the Holy Spirit pushed a button within me, God activated me and said “It’s time” after a LONG TIME in the wilderness. I spent about 2 years just resting and in hiding while God was healing my heart.

I didn’t need anyone’s approval anymore even though the struggle was REAL on the outside even with family member’s asking me why I haven’t gotten a REAL job.

Last time someone asked me that I firmly replied “I am a prophet, I work for God”.

And I didn’t feel insecure about it anymore. Because I literally have the responsibility of LIFE and DEATH on my hand, I have peoples’ lives and blood on my hands.

There are people who are set free from bondage because of the power of God, and this is more than the immediate and temporary relief of human opportunity.

God’s power is life changing.

It releases people from the grips of death, suicide, depression, rage, unforgiveness, poverty, lack, generational curses, infirmity, disease, cancer, addiction, and pure evil. There are evil spirits that roam the earth everyday, suppressing, oppressing and lying to people.

God can set you free. Jesus is the only way. I’m no longer afraid to speak boldly because I know the other side and only darkness resided there.

No One Can Be Your Everything

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It sounds unromantic, but it’s realistic. 

Your girlfriend or boyfriend can’t be your everything. Your wife and husband can’t be your everything. Your friends or family can’t be your everything.

Because everything is perfect and no one is perfect. Imperfect people will soon disappoint you if you placed your hopes and dreams on just one person. 

Yesterday I went to a forgiveness class and there was a questionnaire that asked something along the lines of :

“I am angry at_______because of___________” From 1-5 level forgiveness level.

I put down family members and noticed a theme.

Everything stemmed from my absent father. He was physically and emotionally absent for 10 years and even before then my parents were already separated. So I lacked the emotional support of a father and my mother was also very emotionally absent from me. 

So I started looking for that emotional support somewhere else, friends. 

But when they said the wrong thing, set their own boundaries, I couldn’t take it. I lashed out, I disappeared just as my father disappeared from my life. That was the only way I knew how to protect myself. 

I let other people step on me or was NICE to people to get what I wanted- their approval. 

Then God took me into a journey of solitude and seeing myself right.

I needed to make God my sole emotional support and to be my own biggest cheerleader.

I’m not SAYING we don’t need people, because people help us, support us…in the right ways…..

BUT when we are looking for approval from people—-they will surely anger and disappoint you. Approval doesn’t come from people. God has already approved of you. He says “you are enough, you are worthy of love”.

Everyone has bad days. If we look for approval and put unjust burden on them to take care of us when they are incapable of even taking care of themselves—-we become codependent. 

Codependency.

This happens when we make people God. People are not God. People are imperfect.

See yourself right. You’re not perfect. You will disappoint others. You were not put on this earth to please people nor become a God for them. In fact you HURT them by taking their own emotional responsibilities. 

  1. Awareness
  2. Releasing the Past

So last night I had to come to terms with my past. Yes I reconciled with my dad, yes I forgave him and myself…but did that mean everything changed? No. He was still physically and emotionally absent from my life. Things didn’t change. I didn’t magically become close with him nor did I magically have a happy childhood filled with moments where I shared my heart with my dad. 

A moment of grief.

A moment of acceptance.

I said “I accept that this is the reality and I’m accepting it because you God are my everything and I want to share my heart with you”.

Now I can truly let go. I can’t change the past nor can I really change this relationship by myself and it’s okay. It’s okay because God’s got me.

Now I need to be the biggest cheerleader for myself….and it’s taken me years to realize that. As I backpacked through the caves of Malaysia and traversed the jungles of Ecuador, climbing mountains in Taiwan I would hear God whispering to me. I was scared at times, lying awake with no one to talk to with deathly food poisoning, thousands of miles away from home. Yes, I didn’t have much of an emotional support, but there I was – “am I enough for you?” I heard my own soul ask. 

You are enough, you are enough. It’s okay.

There was this theme in my questionnaire- “people didn’t support me in my dreams”.

And I remember all the people who felt utterly alone in their dreams – Abraham, Joseph, etc…and all the tech companies that no one believed in in the beginning. LOL.

Do YOU believe in your dreams? 

Allow others to be themselves. You don’t need everyone to believe in your dreams for you to pursue them. Think of it as a secret in your heart, a baby you are feeding. It is exciting and you may want to share it with the world but sometimes the world is not ready for such a magical thing.

Sometimes you might meet a few rare gems who will stand beside you. Don’t make them your everything. Everyone has their own journey to walk and sometimes it’s through a dark and cold alley. God will walk with you through those alleys. He will never leave you.