I’m currently working on drawings I started before my crazy school year. I abandoned the project awhile back, thought I wouldn’t pick it up again. BUT alors, i did. Above is a drawing, half done. I’m still staring at it, waiting for a call where I can draw and talk at the same time (time saving).
Protects, scrapes & burns. This will need to be colored in, I’m taking pictures of it while going along…that way I can create a stop motion film.. hopefully. ;0 SCHOOL is almost over.
They’re probably the only funny people I find funny- compared to all the funny stuff out there.
We are always making memories
We must not dwell too long on the past
Or tinkle and worry about what is to come
Ironicly- the past and present will pass, and the future in split seconds take you by a whirlwind.
Your mind keeps wandering
when in fact we should
Sit. and Know. and Be.
On the outside, we move, we play, we speak, we sing, we dance, we love, we run, we smile, we laugh, we cry, we weep.
On the inside we must Be.
We must Know. We must Hope. We must Love. We must Reflect. We must,
soul and mind, be in each moment of our lives, be present.
For in the present, we will Be.
And in being, our hearts will reach for the eternal.
And in the eternal, our hearts will skip a little faster.
And a little more peaceful and at home will we be.
And in that we will know
what it means when our Creator whispered,
“Be still and know that I am God”.
Rebekka Lien: For in life, like a leaf, following the current, each second clearer, each second brighter, so in this, we see what real love is, what being means. I’m dedicating this poem to M.E.
Our worship becomes clearer, greater, more intense in the light of our weaknesses. Because it is attributing praise to the perfect one who actually deserves it.
He walked passed the crowd, his heart wrenched a new
I stood, unable to move, pursing my lip in frustration.
It’s all a dream. Crowding, clouding.
Drumming to the beat of express style.
Our laughters a resonating sound, echoing. I can but feel
a premonition of what is to be. I am one person.
Full and fighting. Rebellious and Loud. I am two persons. The transparent papers, sliding against each other.
Fitting, trying to fit. Screaming in anguish. Why can’t they just accept me? I am not a typical fruit. I look like this: spikes and gentleness. Bold colors of red and green, orange and yellow, I scream with unique. I scream with polka dots, lines, and basses of loud yet serene waters. I well with waters of tears because I am pang.
A pang of compassion. A pang of life. A pang of real, raw authentic human poetry. I relate, I cry, I smile.
I am one with them. I stoop myself low, wanting to relate.
The pharisees look at me with their condemning eye.
You shouldn’t, wouldn’t, you did?
And now, all I can do is run run run towards the goal my Love has set before me.
This is what I see: suicidal eyes, sad faces, sars masks in a goth club, girls deprived of love, boys deprived of attention, old and young, red and green hairs, its all a mess. I’m dancing to the lime light, me and my friends, and we feel the spirit pervading, spreading like a disease, a good one, spreading light and hope.
Light and hope. So I look like a unique fruit, but i keep growing and bearing fruit. Each one is unique. He is purple with fuzzy peach. She is not round, but oval shaped. She has tulle as fabric. He has music notes and spikes written across. It’s all a game to them Pharisees. What are you up to? I can’t help but laugh, and then I cry a little.
These are the people my heart breaks for. THESE are the people my tears run over for. Void of love, void of truth. It’s in me, It’s in me. Let me loose, let me loose. It’s in me. Don’t you understand that these fruits are so special, so unique, each one of them. We are not made to look and act the same. I was not taught to live like a robot. We scrap off that facade having captured and being bonded.
I am set free. I am set free. You are set free. You are set free. I give you permission to be who you are. Who God has created you to be. I give you affirmation- I send you forth. Go dance with those that your heart breaks for, go drink in fury and joy, go enjoy and struggle together. For I have IT in my heart. And I am not afraid to go forth, delving within the empty glasses, getting scraped, bleeding at times, broken thorns cutting me. I am not afraid for the Lord is with me. Amen.
1“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.
18“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. 22If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23He who hates me hates my Father as well. 24If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’[c]
26“When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. 27And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.
Another late night 4 am blog. My mom walks in, “wow, you woke up early”. Er…no not really, couldn’t sleep so I woke up, but planning on going back to sleep. I think the greatest struggle for me is being out of control- of my feelings, life, and being. But in the midst of that, God comforts me with these words. One day, I really want to visit a whats it called, the grape vine place?? What are those things called? I want to see how grapes grow, the vines, how it is connected to the branches, how it bears fruit. I’ll only know what the word means by seeing it.
Words that my friends have used to describe my recent state of change: quieter, skinnier, humbler, word of urgency, serious.
Maybe in the midst of seeing a chaotic world, I have become less carefree. But I am constantly asking for the joy of my salvation- that i can be a joy around such a depressing world. That I can laugh and smile and bring hope. But at the same time, cry with those that are mourning, for there are many. Even in this heart of mine, YET I have hope in me. It’s Jesus. I’m just like you, imperfect and wanting, having a void to fill…yet filled to the brim.
Double duty. Work and School is definitely not easy, it is difficult as hell on earth.
My back hurts, my brain hurts, and I can’t sit straight, I’m like a worn out little grandma.
On another note, I really like working and building friendships. I can say, I will forever hate Christmas trees, due to the dust and stupid little lights that I have to change for like 8 hours. The palm trees I have to dust and smell in millions and billions of dust particles into my nostrils, which eventually produces allergies and sickness that is forever bothersome.
Highlight? Feeling like I have more hours in a day, for some reason, I realize how stretched I can be. So what the heck did I do and waste away my time when I had nothing to do? I can’t remember. The only thing that’s sad is not being able to hang out with friends more. Like staying up late? Nope. I got work tomorrow or I got homework. I’m a nerd, I’m a disciplined nerd that likes to party sometimes. I play hard and study and work hard. I’m not a in between sort of person. Another thing I learned about myself- I hate it when people think they can make fun of me and think that I”M OKAY WITH IT just because at first I laugh along. I’m so annoyed that I just shut my mouth and enjoy the humdrum of silence after their bombastic jokes that makes no sense and is an irritation to my ears. Like really? Can you not see that I’m annoyed?
I guess love means. Being patient with those that are unloveable. Giving what they do not deserve – silence instead of hollaring.
Tomorrow I get to wake up early and enjoy going home early too. There really are more hours in a day, but when will I start my homework? I want to read my book too…Oh GOD I am in need of YO HELP.
Inner Healing? What?
In a world of quick fixes, computers, iphones, money, media, music, quick bandages…what the heck is inner healing? Unfortunately, I must say that our society has become FAKE. Everything is fake, from smiles to greetings, to plastic surgery to makeup, to cars and blings, to bags to words. Words?
For example: Person walks by, “heyyy how are you doing?” with wide smile. “ummm, well not that well”. Person has already walked by, not caring what his reply is.
Get the point? No one seems to really care or listen anymore. Is it any wonder that all of us carry heavy emotional baggages? From guilt, shame, unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred, low self- esteem, depression, to anything you can imagine. It is eating us alive like worms just creating a sick cave of rotting apples and eggs, it is smelling like dead fish from ancient days.
Now, I really have no reason for posting this Afro ken picture. But I almost like to think a dog is so much more healthy. But then of course, a dog is not a human being. Side note…haha.
My favorite bible verse talks about this: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…” Isaiah 61:1
Now I think many of you imagined “Captives” as literally captives in prisons or whatever. But this is what I imagine now…captives that are captive to sin, guilt, shame, whatever I listed above. The first time I experienced healing in years was when a respected mentor prayed healing over me. Mainly, “for forgiveness”. For some odd reason, I felt this well of emotion like flooding, like a taifung, like tsunami breaking out of my eyes, nose, and everything that can give off snot and yucky residues. I didn’t realize I had so much pain from the hurts that I had gently covered with blankets of achievements, self- pride, and yes, did I mention achievements already? Sigh, I am so much more Asian than I thought.
For some reason, if anything, I can handle fake brands, because out of all things, it is not faking a person or personality. Okay, maybe it does. Whatever, I don’t buy fake brands.
Enough said- I’m excited for what God’s going to do. Peace friends.
Every time I talk to my friends about the injustices of this world, I am self- convicted. Yes, this injustice. But what are we doing about it. I am praying, giving, fasting, doing. I want to do more, I want to pour myself out for the people of this world. I don’t want to sit behind a desk and just write this. I want to be out there holding hands, hugging people that needs to be loved.
Human beings are not for sale or sell. Things are for sale, not people. What has greed led us to? How can I too write this when I spend 8 dollars for a meal? When others are starving, when others are held captive in sexual slavery. I know many of America don’t want to face this harsh reality because once we know, we will be convicted to do. The fact of the matter is that most of us don’t want to do because that means- change, insecurity, change of mindset, way of living, change of lifestyle- a lifestyle that centers not on self, but on others.
I have a deep sense of calling. My heart is so panged, my heart is angered more and more as I research and delve into this issue of modern day slavery. Why I? Why was I privileged enough to be born able? Able to learn, to grow, to play, to work? Why I? So that I can indulge in my own desires and materialistic wealth? So I can live in comfort while miles away, kids and women are being abducted? So I can live in ignorance, avoiding the suffering of this world, hoping that I can live in Neverland forever…then die and be in Heaven?
Or was I privileged enough, despite my defected past, that I might be freed to deliver captives, bind wounds, heal hearts? I won’t stand for injustice. I won’t stand for relativity. I won’t stand for complacency. I won’t stand for evil or wickedness. I won’t stand for false gods that claim to deliver but give imitation hope, imitation love, imitation life.
“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, it is written, “Let those who boast boast in the Lord“. 1 Corinthians 1:26-31
If you can look at human trafficking and laugh it away…I can only mourn for you. For truth is not relative, truth declares, stands, shouts for freedom.
A recap of summer 09 because I am going through designer’s mental creative block or what I call creative anxiety (aka you’re unable to start your design project because you’re afraid once you start, it’ll be bad). Anyone agree?
I went to Germany, Munich, Paris, and went to Homeless land for awhile too. I was lounging around for a month more in LA, now I am so ready to get on with life again. Which means less time for reading, I devoured so many books this summer!
Offenburg: What I came to do! Meet the most amazing team of artists. I can still remember vividly all our tea times, painting the mural, as well as soul talking. I love them to death!
Offenburg: Painting away.
Munich: Posters in an art museum. Outside was windy, rainy, and just a perfect day for museum lounging.
Munich: Did I ever mention how much of a cafe freak addict I am? Traveling alone means journaling a good amount about the weird bald guy staring at you, introspective discoveries, as well as how everything costs 1.5 more in Europe. What? My coffee is half the amount, but then you realize, who needs to drink that much coffee anyway? No wonder Americans have no self control.
Salzburg: I made a last minute decision to go to this BEAUTIFUL city, where Mozart was born. Well, my mom did go to Germany to major in piano. My hostel mates told me to go, so instead of going to the overpriced castle near Munich, I went to this freaken god- inspired hunk of a city.
Paris: Mussels in Paris. The only fine meal I had for the whole 3.5 weeks. I ate bread, cheese, and meat, oh did I mention bread? I ate so much bread, I think I dreamt of bread sucking me in and me disappearing forever. Did you notice my thin arms? Yes, starving artist traveling.
Paris: Le Louvre (taken by Andy) One thing I regret about Paris, I did not get to go to the big Fashion Museums. FAIL! Everytime I tried to go, it was either close for break or just closed. For some reason, museums aren’t open on Mondays. I did get to see a small exhibition of Yves Saint Laurent. Maybe one day I will partake of a big fashion event in Paris…that would be amazing. Breathtaking….sigh. Too bad my french had disintegrated into moral fail.
Going Home: Good thing I met with a friend in Paris! I would not have been able to see Paris at night as a girl walking around alone. And also because I lost all my picture files on my camera….to which I responded with exasperation, anxiety, and a heart attack. Good thing he had taken some!
Back in LA: Crystal Cove Beach. I had heard from my European friends that they have no access to the beach…unless they drive for hours. I kept thinking, “I live 30 minutes from the beach, but I don’t go that much”. Then when I came back, I think I went 5 times. The cupcakes are from this cute little cupcake store at Seal Beach.
July 2009: Whiteriver, AZ. Catching crawdads in the river. I seriously was stooping for 2 hours trying to catch crawdads with my very own hands. I’m not even kidding, those things swim fast. They’re like shooting rockets in the water. However, I caught 2! It was one of those victories you’ll remember for your whole life, and tell your grandkids too.
Cooking a caught crawdad: 1. Notice healthy and swimming. 2. By the third day, it started floating to the surface, so I decided to cook it. 3. Turns red immediately. 4. Ew. The grossest thing happened- green liquid sputtered out in mass amounts.
As a result, after one hour of loading pictures onto this blog… I am about to sleep! FIDM starts pretty soon and I’m awaiting what new freelance work may come about. But more than that, I am looking forward to what God may have for me overseas next year. Moving is a big step of faith, but required for those that are adventurous and risk taking!
Rebekka Lien 