Category: love

Your Breakthrough Is In Your Presence

On By Rebekka LienIn art, beautiful, faith, healing, law of attraction, love, solo travel, spirituality, travel

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How do you deal with uncertainties? Life is full of unknowns.

God often surprises me by destroying plans I had, even for Christmas. I might have assumed something but then those plans are easily pulled away from me. This week I woke up with horrible vertigo and puking. Yes, it was awful. I thought I was going to die and I prayed really hard. The sickness came and went, tried to come back again, but finally left.

I was grateful. It humbled me as well. Sickness is humbling. It reminds you, you are fragile, weak. 

I felt that the puking was like a cleanse to the negativity in my life. I realized it also stemmed from my not eating when I would get hungry. Deep down, I had some insecurities about my recent inability to exercise and was afraid that I was gaining weight. But I think deep down I felt that I was not good enough. 

During my time in bed, I kept hearing “you are good enough, you are enough” over and over again. In my inability to do anything, I soaked in God’s unconditional love for me. I was reminded that I had been trying to figure my life out again, even by planning my days, I was trying to control my life. I wasn’t handing over the reigns. 

Soon enough God heard my prayers and my mom actually took me to this Chinese medicine woman who gave me a diagnosis and some herbs. Soon enough, I was also alone again. This time a little disappointed that I would probably spend the holidays alone. I didn’t really understand what was happening.

I know that 2017 is a year of alignment, but even in those days where I’m writing, painting, watching Elementary, I’m wondering what my life will even look like soon.

What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him- 1 Corinthians 2:9 

But today as my flesh and mind finally let go of plans and the need to KNOW, I went to the movies (which always calms me down), cried my eyes out watching Moana and Collateral Beauty (good for emotional cleansing, the movie seriously left the whole movie theater room sniffling), and then in following my desires for some food and boba, was led to divine appointments with strangers. One lady I met when I asked her about this hat I wanted to buy, I said “just to make sure, this is the English flag right?” and then I continued the conversation by asking if she was Irish and she said German. Well, since I was born in Germany, we had no lack of conversation.

Our need to know always ruins the moment doesn’t it? In the story of Adam and Eve, that is what ruined their life at first….the need to know without the relationship with God, which is based on trust. We are unable to live in the moment, to see all the beauty and love around us when we are in our head, figuring every detail of our lives out.

I remember when I was dating an ex, we went to an Italian restaurant in Santa Monica but his mind was absent. The bill was over $100 but I could have stayed at home, watched netflix and ate mcdonalds for $5. It wasn’t about our surroundings, how delicious the food was, or even how romantic the ambiance was. I thought the food was okay, but my ex said it was a waste of money and that the food was horrible. To be honest, if I was eating by myself, I would have enjoyed everything a lot more. His energy totally killed my vibe.

His mind was somewhere else and I was unable to connect with him. 

We can truly enjoy the moment when we choose to be grateful, to notice the miracle around us. Everyday is a gift. When we are present we are able to connect with the people who are around us. That is one of the reasons I love traveling because I am usually present. I see the world with wonder, everything is new to me and I am not thinking about anything else. I don’t plan either, I usually allow spirit to lead me to the right place at the right time. I follow my bliss, I follow the adventure. When I am tired, I sit down at a cafe and observe the beauty around me. By being present I meet the most wonderful people.

When I was in London, I ate at a market in Brixton and met this girl. She asked if she could share the table with me. Turns out she worked at the Globe Theatre and she invited me to watch a play with her. I was truly grateful because she gave me free tickets and I had made a new friend. I was reminded that God was watching over me in every step of my journey backpacking through Europe. I have thousands of stories like this, divine appointments I call them.

I Found My Identity In The Wilderness

On By Rebekka LienIn business, coach, dream, entrepreneur, God, healing, lifecoach, lifehack, love, self-help, spirituality, therapy

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Finding our identity is probably one of live’s biggest struggle.

Ignoring other people’s opinions about who you are or who you should be and what you should do is another. It is never about what they think about you, but what you think about yourself. 

For a long time I didn’t really know who I was, I knew I had big dreams and I had visions of what my life would look like, but since every dream takes time…people simply saw my process. When people don’t see results, they start judging you big time. Even though you have only been on this earth for less than 30 years, for some reason they want you to be Richard Branson already. And perhaps it was my mistake to tell people, I basically was so full of passion that I told everyone. And then people started mocking me. 

And then I hid. 

Not in a cave, but something like one. I departed from people, cut ties with people who didn’t truly understand. I kept a few close friend and I am truly grateful for them because they have seen my journey. I believe that this season is essential. This season I call the wilderness season requires introspection and sometimes seasonal solitude. 

In the wilderness season God helped me weed out the lies…the lies of not being enough, lies that I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to prove myself….lies that I must hide myself to honor those around me (that didn’t know themselves).

It’s dishonoring to yourself to hide your light, it’s dishonoring to the creator who created you.  You are way too brilliant to be hid, you are way too beautiful to not be admired. 

But at the end of the day, you must see yourself right first. You must see your own beauty, your own brilliance, your own talent, your own genius. You must be so confident that even if others belittle you, you can defend yourself in confidence, or in confidence walk away. And oh, forgive them and not live with a false success revenge mentality (which is when you are offended and try to succeed to prove people wrong rather than doing it out of pure joy and love).

I often hear “do not engage, this is a low mentality warfare” sometimes when I hear negative remarks. I know it is their ego speaking, so I must be wise not to get distracted in low level spiritual warfare. There are so many tactics the enemy uses.

Gossip is one of the ways I’ve learned self-control. Today someone mentioned someone who was told something about someone. They were demeaning them, judging their decisions in life. I listened and then I said “we don’t know them, we don’t even talk to them, why are we judging them? And also we’ve made mistakes in our lives too, everyone has their battles”. I know that I have been there too, mistakes, failures, I am not one to judge. 

In a way, the wilderness season humbles you. It prepares you to be the great person you are, to confront giants that belittle you, tell you you’re not enough. The wilderness season prepares you to enter battles in your work, with companies, with consultants, with kings, queens, presidents. 

Interesting. What did they say about me? Well, I hope one day they know how brilliant they are too. Because I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, loved and accepted for who I am now.

Finding God In Bed

On By Rebekka LienIn coach, faith, God, healing, love, Relationships, self-help, spirituality

I like to use a provocative title to draw people in. But it is quite literal.

I woke up sobbing, feeling the depths of my heart, the hard pieces falling apart, away. For good perhaps. This time I had a dream where I was yelling, telling my story and a person in my life telling me to be quiet, to be ashamed. In the vicinity is an array of people that have told me to diminish myself because even if they didn’t know it, deep down they are afraid to be themselves and seeing someone free means they are still captive. 

I was crying in the dream, and when I got home my mom said I could no longer sleep there (meaning of rest) and that I must leave.

Sleeping in dreams usually means living in grace. The 5 years of wilderness for me was healing from the many wounds that I had somehow acquired in my life. 

Growing up in a single mother home, I didn’t quite learn what boundaries meant. This meant I listened to people, I got a load of garbage because I thought that meant I was loving them. Of course it was all in detriment to my own well being.

I found God in bed.

In sleep, in rest, in bed rest. I started having long, intense, novel like dreams. I had them every single night and I could remember them. 

And I stopped going to church. I found safe ways to listen to messages through youtube. I cut ties with people who were unsafe.

In this dream, I was wearing a coat to hide my bare chest. In dreams, bare chest usually means being unashamed, being completely wholly yourself. But I had to still hide my identity around the people who didn’t know how to be themselves.

Basically I wasn’t accepted as a human being. I was too edgy, too controversial, too much, too larger than life. I entered a season of solitude. During this time, I confronted my wounds and my heart. In a healing session I remember saying “to be honest, I was friends with people I didn’t even like” in reply to her question “it seems like you have a pattern of unfriending people and cutting them out of your life?”

I shocked myself there.

True, I was hiding myself, but to hang out with people I didn’t even like, that was extreme. But my final action told the truth. I actually found some people deeply annoying, obnoxious but I tried to be accommodating because I didn’t know how to say no or to explain why I felt how I felt.

Recently, I have started hanging out with people again. It is a slow process but I am now more mindful about what is mine and what isn’t. For example, when people have insecurities about being totally 100 percent themselves, they might project that unto you and try to control your freedom to be yourself. 

They might say something like “why are you doing that in public? It is embarrassing (to me)?” or dismiss your opinion without trying to understand it “that doesn’t make any sense, shut up”….those are examples of things people might say because they are unable to accept you for who you are and are fearful of what others think of them.

The religious spirit doesn’t just exist inside an institutional religion, but anywhere. The religious spirit is a spirit of control, it tries to bully you. The spirit of freedom is I believe who God truly is.

Here are some examples:

The religious spirit tells you that there is only right or wrong, black and white.

The spirit of freedom is relational, it is like a friend, it listens to your opinions and heart. It is collaborative and allows room for mistakes and decisions.

The religious spirit is controlling, it seeks to dominate people, it will only accept people if people follows their rules or idea of who they should be.

The spirit of freedom is unconditional and allows people to be themselves. It liberates rather than controls.

I hope this post gave you some insight. Peace and freedom. XOXO

Where the spirit is, there is liberty.

True Connection to Riches

On By Rebekka LienIn art, business, entrepreneur, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, spirituality, therapy, writer

“When you are inspired by a great purpose, everything will begin to work for you. Inspiration comes from moving back in-spirit and connecting to the seven faces of intention. When you feel inspired, what appeared to be risky becomes a path you feel compelled to follow. The risks are gone because you are following your bliss, which is the truth within you. This is really love working in harmony with your intention. Essentially, if you do not feel love, you do not feel the truth, and your truth is all wrapped up in your connection to Spirit. This is why inspiration is such an important part of the fulfillment of your intention to live a life on purpose.”- Wayne Dyer

I am an artist.

It is more than a job, it is a calling. It was predestined. We are all artists in some way.

I am disturbed when people talk about getting a job to survive, I used to think that way too. I used to put bills first and passion, vision, purpose second.

I am not a survivor, I am a thriver.

I don’t merely want to survive and live a get by life, I want to live a thriving life. I made a choice to GO ALL IN, no backup plan. Let that backup plan be God. Artists are prophets. If you create in anyway you are an artist. Artists have thoughts, ideas, blabbering in their mind and they put them out into the world. They mirror the creator. Growing up I had some people comment in surprise that I believe in God as though believing in God is an ignorant thing to do and also that I was too cool a person to believe in God. I’m an artist, I create shit. Why wouldn’t I believe in God. God created things. 

You know you are “inspired” or in- spirit when you have these flow of ideas and thoughts and you can’t seem to SHUT THEM UP. Like this morning I woke up to do my numero 2, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep because suddenly this thought “I am an artist….it is more than a job, it is a calling”….okay, go to sleep, but then my mind wouldn’t shut up, it was like God speaking to my mind in paragraph format and it was so detailed that I had to just turn on my computer and write it down. 

“And public speaking was not a risk; it was something I had to do because I knew that I could not feel happy with myself if I did not follow my heart. The universe handled the details, because I was feeling love for what I was doing, and consequently, I was living my truth. By teaching love, that very same love guided me to my purpose, and the financial remuneration flowed to me with that same energy of love. I couldn’t see how it worked out, but I followed an inner knowing and never regretted it.“- Wayne Dyer

A lot of people ask me this question “but how do you pay the bills as a freelancer or artist?” I find that hilarious because I’ve managed to sell most of my big belongings and live virtually very free from bills. For example I haven’t had a sim card for a year and a half, I use a google number and it also keeps me from getting distracted from living in peace. I seem to have everything I need and more all the time.

And when I feel “lack” it usually comes from believing a lie that I am not enough, that I need to supplement my being by having more clothes, makeup, things. 

Living in grace means my relationship and being with God comes first, my connection to God is my connection to provision.

He guides and leads me to places, opportunities, resources, money, things..and I don’t have to fret.

It’s like if someone asked “but how am I going to feed myself?” when her dad is standing right next to her with a consistent flow of sushi, tuna tar tar, pasta, steak, smoothies, etc. You get the idea. I’d be pretty offended if I was the dad. But most of us work out asses off in our non-inspired human way while “dad” is standing there with everything you can ever want or need and we refuse to accept his help. 

Pride? Possibly.

So that’s where Trust comes in. Belief. Believing that He is for you and not against you. Then, listening, intently, staying close to the heart of God.

I’ve been led to impossible, miraculous things and talk to people that some would be afraid to talk to…and sometimes yah I have to get over my own fear, but I remember I am safe in God’s protection.

xoxo BEX

my art: https://society6.com/shoprl/prints

 

Listen To Your Heart

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, food, lifehack, love, spirituality

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I grew up going to church, Baptist to be precise. About 12 years old I encountered God in a divine, weeping way, I experienced unconditional love from the depths of my heart. My journey though had begun when I was young…in those wee hours where I was home alone and afraid of the dark. Somehow I knew that the Devil was as real as the darkness and as a 5 year old, I prayed desperately for God to save me from the hollow fear.

Since I had lots of time of solitude, growing up with a busy working single mom and lots of time alone, I developed an inner life that was rich and real. I was drawn to the holy spirit and basically “following my intuition”. I would tell stories about being led to talk to homeless people, miracles, hearing God- this was strange for a very legalistic baptist church.  Eventually I left. Later on, I learned that what I experienced in my life was called being led by the spirit. 

You don’t need to label it to know that your intuition is God speaking to you. When it feels peaceful, right, you feel urged on, you have little fear. Perhaps yes there is apprehension, but that is the ego speaking.

What I noticed though is that in the institutions of “God” many people still don’t understand the concept of the Father. The concept and being of the Father God is basically the loving, unconditional, light who embraces and loves to hear us talk even about our sadness, feelings of anger, and grief. He is not judgmental and treats us better than the best father on this earth. Because few of us have had good earthly fathers, we often feel that God must be the same way. 

In addition, people are very scared when they can’t label something.

There were times where I followed the Spirit and I did very spontaneous things….sometimes Spirit led me to places where I met the right people at the right time. Before I was to be selected for a TV show to go to Cebu, I kept hearing Cebu over and over again. Sometimes of course I doubt what I am hearing, but as the stories in my life unfolds, I am assured once again that what I was hearing was accurate.

Trusting yourself- now growing up in the church, the only thing I heard was “put yourself last”. Self-sacrifice. I think this led to many people growing up deprived of self love.

The truth is since God already sacrificed all for us, “everything that has to be done is already done”. This is the concept of grace. The holistic way of thinking is that we are born a reflection of who God is and each of us have glory within ourselves. So our whole lives is really about getting to know God, but also the holy place within our own hearts which says “I am an heir, I am royalty, everything about me is brilliant, my heart radiates light and I am filled with love and I am complete because God within me has completed me”. 

So while some institutions believe that all power is with God, the truth is if God is within us, all power is in us so that all power for change is cultivated once our spirit self accepts and has the capacity to embrace that truth.

In short, I have been on a journey of learning to trust my truth in every moment and to speak those truths even if they are “negative”. God loves all of who you are now, not in the future or the past. Yes, with all the things that seem negative. 

So instead of living by a set of rules, Jesus sets you free to live in relationship.

So there is actually no right or wrong, but that which sets you free, the truth.

There are many things that are good for you, but if you feed yourself a bunch of sermons or motivational books when your heart needs space to heal, it can become destructive. For example, your heart may need solitude but a friend offers to hang out with you (she wants to help you)…in those moments I listen to my heart and ask myself what it is I actually need…even a “good thing” like hanging out with a friend can deprive you of what you actually need, time alone. 

Good works, volunteer work might seem good- but if you are doing it as a way to redeem yourself or perhaps free you from the guilt of all the wrongs you’ve committed in your life, you will not be freed. Like I said, only God sees our heart. He says “I will free you if you allow me to give you the love you need, just receive it”.

When we open our hearts to receive the love that we do not need to work for, it is liberating.

What is practical and productive in the world may not be productive to your soul. More in the material sense is not more to your soul. You may continue to crave more and feel even more empty inside. For some reason, the more you buy the more lack you feel. That is your soul asking you to look within. The emptiness is a feeling and the feeling is always telling you something. 

Slow down and ask yourself where that feeling is coming from. 

Slow down and ask what during the day annoyed you so much that you started feeling pain in your neck. For me, I have pain in the left side of my neck when I am emotionally distraught, bothered or believing a lie, or perhaps I am trying to control my emotions instead of expressing them.

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Daddy and Mommy Issues

On By Rebekka LienIn coach, dream, forgiveness, healing, love, spirituality

I was walking on the street, saw a young man with his parents. He looked like a douche bag, and I just thought “how do parents live with the fact that they produced a douche bag who is out there assaulting women and think it’s normal?”.

Anyway, sometimes I have the strangest thoughts. But really, I wonder about that.

Today I had a big realization that my healing is going deeper. I had this dream about a young man proposing to a woman and happily did they live after. So I was crying because I introduced them or I was producing the show. After I saw a young man waiting for his girlfriend, but he was drunk in the car.

Somehow this dream translated to my big revelation: 

  1. I was feeling like a loner because when I can’t figure out what God is saying I feel like he has forgotten me or is ignoring me. But why? Because 10 years of not talking to my dad felt like I was being ignored and forgotten. I didn’t have the security of knowing that my dad actually loved me at all, and sometimes I struggle with that when it comes to God’s love for me…And somehow after that I was always the one to initiate…and same goes with the first 26 years of my life, initiating, getting shit done, becoming a career women, taking care of the house, the family, being the one to take care of friends, neglecting self.

So if you think you’re the only one with issues think again.

This year I’ve been learning what being adopted by father God means. It means allowing God to pursue me. Having been the independent, strong woman, it was finally time to let go of control and be the recipient of love.

Which is why when I explain to my friends “I have no energy to date” it means “I have no energy to initiate” because all my life I have been aggressively going after I want….and now God is saying “will you stop and allow me to give you what you want?”…even when it comes to dating and a life partner. Whew.

Basically get the fuck out of your own way. 

No wonder I’m tired.

So many years of trying to get the shit together when the shit can easily come together, round itself together if I’d just let God do the work.

Rounding back to douche bags….most people don’t acknowledge that they have these deep seated issues that is basically fucking up their relationships, friendships, life in general. How do you start? Ask God. I promise you…it’s worth it. Sometimes it might be painful to face the issues, but healing is worth it. And yah, probably a lot of your issues come from your relationship with your parents, but our view of ourselves shouldn’t be based on how they treated us…but the unconditional love that God has for you. You are worth it.

Book Review: 

Finding Your Voice by Natalie Grant 

5 out of 5. Natalie, a multi-Grammy nominate artist talks about living our your calling. I like how she incorporates examples of taking care of her voice or voice techniques to help us relate to how we can speak up for ourselves. She also talks about listening to your heart. A must-read 🙂 I liked reading her story because I can relate to losing everything to gaining it all back. This book was given to me for an honest review.

 

Celebrate Ordinary Moments

On By Rebekka LienIn art, dream, food, lifecoach, lifehack, love, spirituality

Our lives are filled with ordinary and sometimes seemingly insignificant moments. 

We wait, for the big woohoo moments. Like when we meet our prince charming, when we get the big break, when we finally pay off our debt, when we have great sex, when become the lead actress in a movie, when we get the pay raise we know we deserve, etc….but most of our lives are just ordinary moments, or so we think. 

As I was sitting there eating french fries, I saw inked on the wall “no drinking on premises”, I found it charming. It was on the wall of a liquor store. I was eating quietly next to a retired old grandma who was wearing all orange, pants and shirt eating pastrami sandwich; a pumpkin on her shirt. I would say something like “did you know there is a great movie theater with deals on tuesday and sundays?” and we would converse. Then we would eat quietly again.

It’s ordinary, seemingly trivial moments like those that warm my heart. And of course being surrounded by the magnificent sky that remind me of how miraculous life is everyday. 

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You see…I walk everywhere. Otherwise I take public transportation.

My life was not always like this.

I was the fast paced career women who was total TYPE A. I was high strung, overly passionate about things that no one seemed to care about. I learned to slow down when the stress started killing my heart and health, and just all of who I was. I had to slow down.

After a year without a sim card and a car, I have really learned to be in the moment, present. 

I’ve made friends with dogs that are neglected by owners. There is this one dog that is tied to a pole fenced inside, everyday. He/she barks wildly at me when I walk in the alleys, I say hi to him/her through the little cracks of the white fence. I’ve decided his or her name is Danny.

I appreciate the sunset. I appreciate the skies that paint God’s love to me. Everyday I am in awe of the clouds, the sun that marks it’s joy in the blue skies.

Sometimes I see cars zoom wildly to their destinations. And I wonder, “what if they got there faster. Would it make a difference, would they feel more fulfilled, happier?” I see people showing off their new purchases and yet frustrated that they don’t have more.

It’s seemingly ordinary moments when we put down our own agendas and introduce ourselves to a stranger sitting next to us that we find the moments profound and beautiful. At first, I wanted to go straight home after buying my bottle of wine and fries, but something said “slow down”. There is beauty in slowing down.

When was the last time you truly slowed down and saw all the beauty around you? 

There are people around you that want to be loved by you, and people that want to love you.

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I’m adding this book review:

Falling Free, Rescued from the Life I Always Wanted- Shannan Martin

The title really struck me, the truth is everything Shannan talked about reflected my own experience of falling free….free of what we think we want. Her narrative is important in our cookie cutter society or perhaps religious institutions that want us to fit into everyone else’s idea of what we should want. I found the book refreshing and read every word to the end. The only thing I did not like in the beginning was perhaps her language, it was a little hard to understand. I’m used to conversational language and it was a bit flowery for my own taste, but nonetheless it was an excellent book. I give it a 4 out of 5.

This book was given to me in exchange for an honest review. 

 

German Born Taiwanese American

On By Rebekka LienIn culture, love, travel

What? Yes, I was born in Germany, but am Taiwanese, and I consider myself Taiwanese American since I’ve been in America for 20 years.

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My best friend next to me and some who knows who the creep that is boy next to me in kindergarten. Hamburg, Germany.

Since we are all talking about race here…I didn’t know I was that different until I came to America. I got made fun of for being “FOB- fresh off the boat” by Asian Americans and some whites. I was a little confused because I thought the term was used for Asians born in Asian countries, but I guess it didn’t really matter. Alas, now the term is a TV show, thanks to the Great America, wrought with “racial freedom”.

Anyhow, when I realized I was different….you see in Taiwan, I fit right in because we were young…and in Germany too, when you are young you don’t see people through racial differences, you see them as playmates, people. 

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Me being solemn in the back. Yes, I’m holding a rose. Taipei, Taiwan.

I started listening to music that talked about degrading women instead of the love songs of Japanese and Taiwanese culture….so like instead of “I love who you are” to “put it up her ass” kind of songs. So there you go, the transition.

I was confused.

I started rejecting a part of myself and assimilated quickly. 

All my best friends were Asian American, but deep down, I was an alien that somehow adopted the idea of being AA. Because I didn’t feel like them. I didn’t care about getting into a good college as much as they did, I was glad I didn’t go to after school, I didn’t want to settle down and live in the same city….I’m not saying all of them cared about the same things, but their parents sure did. 

My mom wanted a good future for me, but I think deep down she knew she was different too. So we moved after I graduated and I went to a fashion school.

Recently, I started realizing all the books I’m reading are by white people, mainly white women since I’m reading self help books. Also the TV shows, the films I watch have mainly white people as protagonists. I got really sick of it and started searching out foreign films. Yesterday I watched a Cantonese film, my heart felt a little warmer. 

You see, the guys I dated were white or mexican, mixed, or white, or ethnically mixed….confused too ethnically. Like me. With Asian Americans I felt different, in Taiwan, I was Americanized, too blunt, I felt comfy with Germans, Europeans, but still I was facially Asian. My ex used to make fun of me for saying a word wrong. But now, I don’t know anyone around me who writes as much as I do.

No one understands the feeling of having hot pot after months of European food like I do. It is pure bliss. My friends and I bring shin ramen on our backpacking trips. I searched out Asian restaurants in Paris. That’s how much my heart longs for Asian food. My blood consists of hot soup.

There is nothing wrong with trying to accommodate for the changes in your life ….but to neglect and ignore, and to push down a part of you means scarring your heart. 

I value family, I value honor and respect. But only to an extent….because what I learned from America is that you must love yourself too, not sacrifice your heart to serve everyone else (more Asian….the concept of Sacrifice). 

So I suppose I am one of a kind. And I don’t need to become more white, in fact, I’d like to stay the way I am, and own the FOB parts of me.

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Another Germany picture.

Unrejectable

On By Rebekka LienIn faith, love, philosophy, spirituality

I had a dream I was teaching a class and people were rolling their eyes or laughing at what I had to say even though it was my life story: God has made me unrejectable. I woke up crying. My heart was twingy.

Jesus claimed me before I was born. I was not planned, my dad was having an affair and my mom was in the angriest state of her life. I was in the womb.

I am reminded God chooses the unlikely.

He chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. 

So that it is not by human might or power but by spirit.

A warrior must overcome great challenges to become stable in her heart. Unmovable. Firm. Steady. Unrelenting.

Besides being an accident, I was moved from home to home, country to country. Later rejected by peers, by family. For some reason I never gave up. I wanted to live for my dream. I wanted something more out of life, I didn’t want to settle.

Institutions rejected me.

Or did not have the capacity to accept the wondrous, the extrordinary.

I chose to forgive because I have been forgiven.

Religion vomitted me out, church folks vomitted out.

I did not stay silent, I continued to speak up. I spoke up to supervisors at work, I spoke up to producers, I spoke up to professors, I spoke up to leaders.

I stood out, I got laughed at because of my unmatching stockings.

Then in the moments of rejection, I would feel His embrace “you are perfect, I made you perfectly”. 

I became fearless, I became wild and free, carefree.

Because I knew whose I was. 

So if you feel rejected, remember that it just means some people have no capacity for different things, for extraordinary. God created you perfectly.

It is all training so that when hundreds and thousands are against you, you will be able to stand for what you believe (with your heart unfettered by anger, bitterness and hate).

Vows

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, health, love, spirituality, travel

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When you are sad I will make sure to listen

When you are tired I will let you rest

When you want to have fun I will go with you instead of forcing you to stay in

When you get scared I wont bully you and ask why you dont have enough faith, but ease the fears with my courageous truth

I will never leave you and I will fend for you, I will speak up for you because you are worth every word and every action

I will do things to make you happy, say things to encourage you. You are the brightest star around.

I wont guilt trip you to do things you dont want to. I give you freedom to have your own personality and preferences.

Vows to myself.

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Photos from a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico