Breaking Off The Orphan Mindset

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Since the age of 5 I was often home alone, I learned to kill bees on my own as a kid. I felt alone many times as my mom was often at work and I did not grow up with my dad. But in the many years of learning to be independent I learned to rely on God. I felt that I needed to be financially independent as I didn’t want to be a burden on my single mother.

However, I was living out of an orphan mindset. 

I was trusting God for provision however I was limiting Him by not knowing how to ask for help or believing that I was worthy of it.

There were many times on this trip I had to verbally ask for help. For example, asking to carpool or for a ride from a stranger because I had no sim card or way of getting home. So many times our phones actually become our emotional crutch but on this trip I’ve learned to open my heart. 

Recently I watched a movie called “More Than Blue”, it’s a Taiwanese movie about 2 orphans. One whose parents and family died in a car crash, and another whose mom abandoned him. What happens when 2 orphans come together? Codependency.

Here are symptoms of an orphan mindset:

  1. You feel like you have to rely on yourself (and God) and no one else.
  2. You feel like people cannot be trusted.
  3. You feel like love must be earned, and that people will only love you if you are good to them. This results in you putting on a mask or pretending to be happy all the time.
  4. You suppress and stuff your emotions or how you really feel because you’re scared of rejection and that others will stop liking or loving you because of you telling your truth.
  5. You’re ashamed of asking for help, you don’t believe you are worthy of it.
  6. You believe it’s easier to be alone and as a result you don’t know how to share you heart with people.
  7. You carry severe woundedness and feelings of rejection because of past experiences.
  8. You handle pain on your own, you feel that vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

ONE HUGE SIGN of an orphan mindset is that you CONDITION your behavior around those you are around (your behavior depends on who is around you at any given moment). God wants us to come into an alignment in our being to feel the freedom to be who we are without changing no matter who is around us. Most of us don’t feel safe to be who we really are because most people are not safe to be around (to be honest).

What happens when we find stability in our identity in Christ? And we find people who we can be honest with? Powerful authenticity.

There has been a number of movies recently about orphans, Instant Family for example.

Not to ruin the movie or anything (don’t read it if you’re going to watch it)- but they don’t tell each other how they really feel until the man is about to die. And then they lie and coerce each other to do what they want thinking it’s what will make them happy. For example, the guy says “you should get married to someone nice” when in truth he actually loves her…however because he is about to die he fears that she cannot handle the loneliness. He also does not tell her that he is sick.

In truth, she knows he is sick and is handling the pain on her own (orphan mindset). In the end, she married a guy just to make the man he loves happy, then leaves her husband to be by her lover’s side because she didn’t follow her heart to begin with.

Anyways even though I cried my eyes out, I thought to myself “this is really F#$% up”…how dare she use an innocent guy just to fulfill her lover’s wish.

So then, he dies and then she swallows some pills and kills herself.

While I was crying a bunch, God’s like “that’s not love”. I’m like okay I know, but the world seems to romanticize it. It seems romantic to die by your lover’s side.

In truth, the whole relationship started out with an orphan mindset. They felt abandoned and alone and instead of healing together, they basically became an orphan couple.

The girl could have lived a happy life without him if she had Jesus.

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A child of God Mindset: 

  1. Knows that in your weakness, God is strong. It’s powerful to be vulnerable and say how you really feel. You know that the ones who love you will still love you no matter what you say. 
  2. The Lord is your shepherd, you lack nothing. You are enough in Christ Jesus, you are not lacking. Your worth doesn’t come from what you do for others but who you are in Christ.
  3. You have a healthy understanding of building trust, that it takes time, but that your trust is not in people but in God. You understand that people are imperfect and people make mistakes and you understand that forgiveness is important to go on.
  4. You can ask for what you need or want without feeling guilt about it because you know you are worthy in Christ Jesus.
  5. You know that love is honest, not fake and you’re willing to be honest and show your true self. You understand that you heart is also not to be shared with just anyone. You understand your worth.
  6. You can share your pain with others who can be trusted. You know that it’s okay to share your vulnerabilities because it is the beginning of relationship.
  7. Your stability is in your identity of being a child of God, not in what you do or achieve, but in the unconditional love of Jesus.

It took me a long time to put my guard down and trust people, to learn to ask for help. The first time I asked my mom for help I was sobbing because I felt so ashamed. All my life, I was independent and could do everything on my own but it was the beginning of learning to be a child of God.

You don’t receive what you don’t believe you deserve. You receive in life what you believe you deserve. 

So when you live out of an orphan mindset, you don’t believe God can freely give you anything so you work for it, you strive for it, you perform for it.

But when you realize you are a child of God, you learn to rest and receive it knowing Jesus paid the price for it. 

Example-

The prodigal son did not work for His Father’s love and acceptance, in fact he actually wasted his inheritance but received Grace from His Father, it was undeserved. This is grace, undeserved, unearned.

The elder son on the other hand worked for His Father out of obligation and felt bitter when the Father provided the best for His undeserving son. This is living under the law, working for God’s love.

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If my blog has helped you and you would like to contribute and sow a seed into this ministry, please click the links below. God bless you and thank you! 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien 
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Prophetic Word – Show Yourself, Show Who You Really Are.

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So yesterday I had a dream where people started writing about me and texting me. I was becoming famous but I was in deep water and asking someone if it was okay that I was wearing leather boots, will they be comfortable or ruined in water?

Then another dream was that there were 3 animals but this guy said “it’s mine and it’s my grandma’s and I have to keep it in my garage”- referring to the past.

SO then I was telling my friend this dream and she said “just remember to relax in your own skin”.

Then I fell asleep again and then all of a sudden I had this HUGE realization.

Yesterday I met a Muslim girl from Indonesia in the bathroom. I told her how it was REALLY IMPORTANT THAT she WRITE what she FELT, not just WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR because HER STORY MATTERS AND HER VOICE MATTERS. 

SHE CAN CHANGE HER NATION WITH HER WORDS.

She told me how in her country you can get imprisoned for simply joking about “having a bomb on an airplane” but I was talking about how in America you can say you want to chop off the President’s head and it’s okay because “yes it’s really that free” I told her.

She told me how when she is with relatives she is even shy about showing her neck area since she wears a head covering.

In the bathroom, she said “it’s okay, you can see me” and she took off her head covering. 

Her hair was beautiful, she had dyed it partially blonde and for some reason, I felt a sigh a relief. 

Is this how it feels to show your skin? To finally allow others to see the real you? 

To not hide anymore, who you are, what you look like, what you think. To not be afraid of judgement, rejection, imprisonment even.

The truth is I’ve been battling insecurities at times too. For example, feeling like I have a double chin, this is my insecurity at times. And I have to come back to God and hear Him say “you are enough, you are beautiful just the way you are”. 

We live in a world that tells us WHO to be, What to think, and even WHAT to say to be accepted. We get hunted down when we don’t say something that is either politically correct or that “offends” someone.

You will offend someone no matter what you say and who you are. Someone will find you offensive. People find me offensive in various parts of Asia because I am blunt. 

But as a prophet, I have to brave and bold and say what’s on my mind because God’s light and truth must be spoken to pierce the darkness and lies that people believe in.

Show yourself, show who you really are. 

That night I got really frustrated.

I said “God I am so ready to just speak in front of thousands of people and be a voice for the voiceless and to FREE people from oppression, I am SO TIRED of seeing people living under oppression and this FEAR of rejection and judgement. NO MORE SHAME LORD!”

Ever since I was young I saw myself speaking in front of thousands and millions of people, I saw myself writing books and shedding light into the darkest hearts. Now I am doing it but on smaller scale and a part of me feels impatient but I know God’s timing is perfect.

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I pray what I write and speak will bring freedom to people. 

You are not a slave to society and what society thinks of you, you are free. In Christ Jesus.

To Read About My Story 

To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and What I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people

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Prophetic Word- Let Go of What’s Not Working So You Can Receive The New

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Here’s the story.

Today I got back to the hostel really excited to do my laundry. But then this happened- the washer wouldn’t open after my clothes were done being washed.

I tried hard to open it but realized I needed to give up quick. In Korea my clothes got stuck in the washer and I ended up having to leave them. This time there was someone who could help me but I needed to wait so while I was waiting for the manager, I was hit with a revelation.

If you never let go of old clothes, you don’t have room for new clothes when you’re traveling because when you travel, it will actually COST YOU MONEY (It will cost you to hold onto past hurts, old wounds, unforgiveness, old ways of thinking, fear, anger, bitterness, the past) TO bring on EXTRA BAGGAGE! 

Most airlines only give you either one or two carry on and for international flights, one baggage. There is also a limit to how much you can bring onto the flight. For international flights it is 20 kg. 

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Guess what?

You will be weighed down emotionally and spiritually if you don’t let go of the past. 

If there is extra luggage (baggage) in your heart, you won’t be able to step into the new season ready to receive the new things. 

If you don’t let go of your past relationship (or bitterness about it) you can’t go into a new relationship with room to receive the love you are looking for.

Here’s what God said
“some people are NOT willing to throw out things that AREN’T WORKING because they feel like they WASTED so much money on it already”.

You say- “IT COST ME TOO MUCH already!” It cost you too much time, it cost you too much energy, it cost you me too much heartache!

For example, your clothes were really expensive or cost a lot of money but you never wear it….it’s costing you space.

JUST LIKE a relationship that isn’t working IS COSTING YOU EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL SPACE, and EVEN space where another person is supposed to be.

JUST LIKE an old mindset which isn’t working is costing you space, depression, fear, limited beliefs.

YOU feel like “I ALREADY SPENT SO MUCH TIME or money on it, I’m not willing to give it up, I ALREADY GOT HEART BROKEN OVER THIS, I can’t break it off”.

GOD’s LIKE YO! WAKE UP!

If you’re not WEARING it, it’s not worth keeping it because it is emotional SPACE.

Don’t get weighed down, God wants us to live in freedom. And that means being willing to let go when it is time.

Some people will not allow you to let go of them when it’s time, but it’s your life and you need to set boundaries for what you want in life.

I remember waking up one day and realizing that I wanted to have a heart committed to my future husband so I deleted and unfollowed every guy I ever had feelings for.

If you want what God has for you, you must be willing to let go of what isn’t for you. And be committed to trusting God and waiting for the right promises, the right people and refuse to settle for what’s lower than God intended.

Just as I waited for the manager to unlock the washer, so must we wait when things don’t happen right away. There’s no use in forcing something to open when God has a perfect timing for when He wants and is allowing something to happen. He knows when we are ready for it. Whatever it is.

To sow a seed: 

https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Let Me Reintroduce Myself

Let my reintroduce myself. I felt the Lord tell me to write my story and to share it with everyone as my ministry fundraising letter.

Many of you may know me as the entrepreneur, the self-starter, the girl who was able to make anything happen. But what you don’t know is that when I was young I wanted to be a missionary. When I was 12, I felt the unconditional love of God when someone explained why Jesus died on the cross for me, I couldn’t stop crying. 

Back then I didn’t know what God was going to do in my life. I was born in Germany, moved to Taiwan when I was 5, then LA when I was 8. Growing up I felt a sense of lack and deficiency. I didn’t see my dad from the age of 8 to 18. My parents divorced and my mother brought me and my brother to America. I started selling toys after school at the age of 8. I wanted to share God’s love but I also felt a sense of responsibility to provide for my family. I wanted to become independent more than anything in the world.

So I worked my whole life. I strove hard. I aced tests, got good grades, I achieved and conquered and I was applauded for it. However, I was often exhausted and had unhealthy breaking points. Even at church, I felt like I was never doing enough. I got shingles at the age of 14 and the doctor said I needed to relax.

While I was trying to build my own kingdom and asking God to bless it, so that I could help others….I woke up from a dream while in a hostel in Spain. The Lord told me to quit my career in real estate.

You see, I had pursued many careers but the one thing that I was running away from was ministry. At the age of 28 the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him. I was two months late on my rent and my relatives had accused me of being irresponsible, they saw my life as a fragmented failure. I had quit my job in 2011, backpacked to many places but without much “success” to show. I had worked in hollywood, real estate, fashion, teaching, coaching but there I was at the altar crying as God asked me to give my last $200 (intended for rent) to the church. He said “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”

I stopped working as the Lord instructed and He started showing me my identity in Christ. He showed me that I was righteous in Christ Jesus because of HIS finished work on the cross, and not my own works. During those two years of resting I was accused left and right for “being lazy” or not having my life together. I got hit with the most accusations when I turned 30. 

Little did people and my family know that I was going to set billions of people free from condemnation, guilt, shame, accusation. 

He showed me what TRUE grace is. It’s the finished work of Jesus on the cross.

In the last two years God showed me that I was a pastor to the lost sheep and a prophet that would start a fire within peoples’ hearts. Since July 2018, I have been traveling the world (Taiwan, Korea, Japan, South Africa, Thailand, China) sharing my story and praying for people. God leads me to the people He needs me to touch.

I AM a firestarter, I am revivalist, I am the person God picked to spread the message of rest, grace and unconditional love.

I lay hands on people and say “you are enough in God’s eyes, not because of what you do right or wrong, but because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross”. 

There is NOTHING more powerful than seeing people get set free from a lifetime of guilt, “not enough”, shame and condemnation. There is nothing more powerful than sharing with a chinese girl who is stressed out about finding work that GOD has already gone before her to provide the job she needs or to rest in God, there is nothing more powerful than helping a homeless youth and laying hands on his head speaking “you are not an orphan but a child of God” and seeing his eyes light up. 

However, I need your help. Just as Elijah was instructed to ask the widow for a meal, so that when the widow gave she could be set free from the spirit of lack (and because of her trust that God would provide, she never lacked from that day forth…she had more than enough to eat because she gave), I have been instructed to share my story with you and ask for your help.

I touch lives everyday for a living. Would you be part of this revolution of love? The world needs more love. There is an ongoing need as I will be traveling for at least a year more. Where the Spirit leads, there will be graves turned, hearts healed, people saved and changed. I have prayed for people with cancer, heartache, lack, disease, disappointments, strife, and more. I already have countless stories, hundreds of divine encounters and appointments, people coming to Christ etc.

I pray THIS over you! “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

To sow a seed: 
https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien 
https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien – this is free to donate and receive, so it’s the better option!

zelle- Rebekkalien@gmail.com

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Living Against Cultural Norms

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Living Against Cultural Norms 11/25/2018, 9th day in Shanghai China, 4 months overseas, written in the middle of the night on my notebook.
I’ve gone through more challenges than I would care to experience following Jesus and ministering to people in different countries. It’s easy to hide behind a computer but when you are interacting and living with people on a daily basis you’ll face many objections and challenges.

For one, sexism.
Another, the spirit of intimidation and control (witchcraft).
Another, hurt.
There were times I had to ask people to put their phones on silent mode in the dorm rooms. In a 8 bed dorm room you’ll encounter plenty of people.

When I asked this guy to silence his phone as all kinds of sounds were coming from his phone (BTW the first night I got woken up by someone watching porn on their phone, no headphones), he ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.

He finally got off his bed, which is the top bunk above mine.

When I confronted him, he looked away and pretended I didn’t exist.
Then he stared at me and said “are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?”
I was speechless.
This kind of person exists in this world?
When I told other chinese people about it they said I should just ignore it. They ignore many things. To them it’s part of life- longsuffering.

I believe God calls us to forgive and love our enemies, but He doesn’t call us to be silent.

In fact, a prophet is supposed to speak in the face of opposition, persecution and intimidation.

This week I also showed my past TV appearance videos to some people. They were shocked as I was “skinnier” and “prettier” back then, they said.

I said “I didn’t know who I was back then, I felt that I needed to put on makeup but now I don’t feel the need to put on a “face” for anyone.

But those words still affected me and I had to climb out of the “feeling of not being enough” hole. The truth is I didn’t each much back then out of the fear of lack and the fear of gaining weight. When moments like that occur I have to look at Jesus and reaffirm “I am enough in Christ Jesus”.

I had a dream last night I hadn’t changed water in a tank for 3 weeks and the fishes were in a really thick shampooed filled liquid.

I had another dream a woman pastor layed her hands on my head and I started sobbing. When I woke up I could hear myself crying.

The process of loving others is not easy. I find myself angry and hurt at times, laughing at other times.

I share my testimonies and of God’s grace to people who aren’t perfect- like me.
People who are scared of intimacy, vulnerability, letting anotone into their hearts, people who carry a spirit of lack and don’t feel like they are enough, people who feel guilt and shame and sometimes have no capacity to give me any love because they haven’t embraced God’s love.

Even though I experience joy in these friendships, I’m ultimately still a pastor, minister, prophet.

Its not a 2 way street. I may be sharing intimate parts of my heart but I am never to look for belonging or acceptance from people I minister to because my home is God, no one else.

Perhaps the joy I felt caused me to think that I’ve found new friends, but close friends are people who can actually level up with you.

God will humble you and cause your heart to be enlarged, but your heart will also have to process continual rejection and persecution.

Most of the time people don’t understand me but my job is to share what is on God’s heart and know my belonging is in God.

Being a pastor to the lost sheep is not easy.

It’s a calling for people who will surrender to their hearts continually to God.

It’s a calling for warriors.
It’s a calling for those who won’t give up in the face of strong opposition.

Sow a seed

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Don’t Stay Stuck

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Prophetic Word November 23, 2018
One of the tactic of the enemy is to make you think you’ve found your nest with people you think you belong with. But you know their true character.

They are not your destiny.

Your belonging is in Christ, not in people.
The enemy will send people to make you feel comfortable or familiar and because you’ve felt “alone” for so long you will think “maybe this is where I belong”, but

ARE they pushing you to GROW or allowing you to be STUCK in mud?

True friends will pull you out of the mud and not allow you to stay in it or even allow you to drown in mud.

Beward of wolves in sheep skin, they might even be your family members or friends.
A true prophet will not say what you want to hear but tell you the truth. A desire to fit in and be accepted by those around you will be detrimental to your growth.
You belong to God.
You are already accepted and approved by God.
Your only way is forward.

Beware of those who want to entertain you with mud (the past) because God wants you to move forward.
You must push through the familiar voices, they are distractions from your destiny and true freedom.

Beware of those who just say what you want to hear or give advice that allow you to stay stuck.
Not everyone will make it out. Some will stay in the mud.

You don’t dim your light to accommodate peoples’ darkness, you shine your light- even brighter to bring change to darkness.

 

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a path from God. Sometimes the more you find your freedom the more you should face and confront difficult conversations and blockages. 

Because your path to FREEDOM comes with battles.

 

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Happiness Is Not Selfish

When you follow your heart, listen to your heart, act on your heart’s desires, you actually allow others to do the same.

Yesterday I was talking to a guy and I said “If peoples’ happiness depend on what you do or don’t do for them, isn’t their happiness based on sinking sand and not on inner peace? Many times Asians live for their families and parents but your parents need to find their own happiness too, it shouldn’t be dependent on your actions and what you decide to do with your life. THIS IS codependency! lt is unhealthy and is not healthy for both parties.
When you tell your truth you actually allow that person to grow as well. You are afraid of hurting that person’s feeling by creating healthy boundaries but you actually hurt them by not telling them. Because awareness leads to change if that person is willing to grow.”

FYI I am currently in Shanghai, China.

We were talking about how Chinese culture is very much about sacrificing for our family, and being “unhappy” for the sake of others.

Think Amy Tan.

But who said that being unhappy for others leads to their happiness.

That’s a total lie.

When you are happy, you actually give others permission to be happy. And happiness (in a healthy and whole way), not in a slave to desire kind of way. I’m talking about being fearless in your life, knowing you are enough kind of way. I’m not talking about a shopping spree happy kind of way, I’m talking about living out of your heart and not what society deems as happiness.

I told him- you are worthy.

I said you are actually in a season where you are opening your heart and showing your vulnerability, showing your weaknesses, being unafraid to to speak your truth….overcoming the fear of rejection.

This is a prophetic word for you.

Some of you have been in hiding but the Lord is saying to come out of hiding. Speak your truth, you are worthy. Tell your story, you are enough. Don’t be afraid of rejection because you know who you are in Christ Jesus.

The time is now.