Single-Minded

On May 27, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dating, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, Hollywood, love, Love blog, Relationships, self-help, solo travel, spirituality, travel, writer

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This is for all my single ladies and gents out there who are waiting for their true love.

I kept hearing this phrase “single-minded”. It has two meanings obviously, single on your mind and single minded “having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose” (google).

I’ve been meeting a lot of ladies who have singleness on their mind. They are looking for their true love, their husband.

I have been single for 4 years, minus the dating spree I went on after breaking up with my ex. I knew he was not going to be my husband. We didn’t have any similar vision or calling in life.

For some reason, I actually feel quite peaceful about it.

I think it’s because I have become single-minded – living with and for Jesus.

This was not always the case. If anyone should be boy-crazed, drama filled or dysfunctional it should be me. If anyone should have a boat load of daddy issues, it should be me since I did not see my dad for 10 years; and still, I see him every few years. He lives in another country.

Yes, my former years in middle school and high school were filled with tears, heart ache, journals filled with love stories with imaginary boyfriends and celebrities. If anyone should still have love drama in my life, it should be me…I mean I was the one girl who stood across the street from a crush’s house and creepily watched him walk in his house everyday.

So why at this point of being single for 4 years am I so content and peaceful?

It took awhile for me to heal from my past relationships. My heart desired acceptance. My life was laden with rejection and abandonment issues that I felt unsafe and insecure. I felt like I was lacking and that I wasn’t enough.

I tried to find security in imaginary boyfriends or eventually real boyfriends.

Sometimes my security was anchored in a career, in my drive and type A personality.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how much I could do for others. This often led to burn out and sickness.

Sometimes my security was anchored in how productive I was or how accomplished I was.

I was also a mommy pleaser. I did things for my mom and others for acceptance and validation.

It took some time for God to break off those things from me. Slowly I found my voice, I found the voice to say “no”. I valued myself more.

One day I woke up and unfriended and unfollowed every guy I ever dated or had feelings for.

I became “single-minded”.

I didn’t want to play around with my destiny anymore. I wanted to be single-minded, to focus on the only one who already gave me true love and true validation. This one was named Jesus. He took me in His arms and whispered truths to me. He told me how much He loved me and how proud of me He was.

Yes, did I spend many holidays, new years, Christmas eve, Christmas alone?

Yes, but I wasn’t alone. God was with me and it was peaceful…no drama.

Did I find the silence sometimes confusing, unbearable? Yes.

Did I find myself going on walks feeling like I was always going to be in the stage I was in life? Yes.

Did I sometimes have negative thoughts that plagued me, speaking lies and telling me that I was “not enough”? Yes.

But Jesus was with me through it all. He helped me overcome all things and continues to do so. He is with me in the pain, the tears and the laughter. He is with me in all things.

I was in a wilderness for the past 4 years, rebuilding my heart and following the still small voice. I was misunderstood, rejected and left for dead. But through it all, I became powerful in my spirit. Nothing could faze me. I was scorned by my own family members, accused when I was actually just following God.

The path that Jesus walks on is not always easy. It requires sacrifice.

But everything HE calls you to is worth it because you are always upgraded in your spirit, overcoming fear, anger, bitterness, grief.

Suddenly you find yourself in the storm, sleeping peacefully while everyone is screaming for their lives.

That is the true single mindedness I’m talking about.

When you come to a place where you realize you are enough, you are not lacking, you are not single, you are whole in Christ Jesus. You are not a fragmented piece looking for your other half, you are a whole piece who will meet another whole piece.

Testimony Tuesday

On May 22, 2018May 22, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, culture, dating, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, self-help, solo travel, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer1 Comment

Write your story with honesty and transparency. Maybe you will get criticized, but maybe and most likely you will set the captives free.

I’m wondering where I should start but I have been having dreams about telling my testimony.

I’ll start from the beginning then.

I was born in Hamburg, Germany. My parents moved there to study. They both spoke German but we are Taiwanese.

I moved a lot growing up. In fact, my mom was a backpacker like me. We weren’t the traditional Asian family. In fact, our lives were riddled with traveling, but often not on a luxurious budget.

I then moved to Taiwan and lived there until I was 8. Then I immigrated to America. My parents got divorced then.

I didn’t see my dad for 10 years. When I did see him, he was older, frail, not what I remembered. God took me through years and years of healing and forgiveness.

I can’t tell you how hard it was to forgive people in my life, but I know it’s supernatural.

My journey of faith was lifelong.

I knew God was always with me but I accepted Him when I was 12. From then on, I was already an outcast. I was just different. I was different in personality and style. My wardrobe was eclectic. I couldn’t fit in anywhere. My mom made my clothes so I didn’t have any brand name clothes. I felt less than because of that, I wanted to fit in but I didn’t have the money to.

So I earned my own money. I was plagued with feelings of unworthiness and started selling toys in 3rd grade. I started saving my own money because I wanted to be significant.

This post is really about finance, identity, grace and God (your Abba Father).

SO I worked my ass off to be significant and worthy. I was selling stuff in middle school, under the table, very literally…while the teacher was talking. I was always entrepreneurial you see….but I didn’t know my identity in Christ. I also wanted to help my single mother.

I went onto pursue Fashion Design and Business, I saw my life with expectation and vision. I would climb the corporate ladder and (be miserable) like Devil Wears Prada. I wanted fame and status. I didn’t know why I wanted it exactly but everyone affirmed it, everyone applauded my goals, everyone was also running this rat race.

Achievement and accomplishment was so ingrained and embedded in my identity that it took years to break off.

You see, even in church my accomplishments and DOING was applauded.

The more I did and served in church, the more people applauded me.

“you’re a great leader” they would say.

Things kind of hit the fan when one leader pushed undue responsibilities on me. “You didn’t take care of this person”- they said. I was probably 18 then? I thought to myself, how could I take care of others when I can’t even take care of myself.

I was dry. I had been wrung out with no more soap to go on. I was a really dry sponge.

Then some other mentor that I thought I could trust basically cursed me out.

I was forced out.

I wondered why.

I wondered why me. I was hurt.

Then I went on a pilgrimage, and it took many years to see myself right. I walked into the wilderness and I was confused. I knew I had greatness on my life but I didn’t know why I kept getting hit over and over again. Why was life so hard if I was supposed to be winning?

There’s more to be said but I’ll continue with this….

After years of trying to make it on my own, trying to be significant…I found myself following Jesus when He said to sell everything and follow Him. I had packed up my stuff in my friend’s garage and flew over to Hawaii to stay with another friend. I had gotten rid of my apartment, gotten rid of my car, and was off the radar.

On the outside, people had no idea that I was just obeying God.

But you see, sometimes your obedience looks crazy to others.

A year later, I was in Thailand. I had a one way ticket and everywhere I went I was simply following Holy Spirit. I didn’t go to vacation, I was simply exercising my faith. Because it wasn’t like I saved money to go, I had $1000 that I basically used up in Thailand. So now how did I go to Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, etc. I’m not sure, things always worked out. Did I do it with fear and trembling? Yes. But I saw God move and He used me to speak into peoples’ lives.

I found myself pushing a suitcase on the streets of downtown and staying in a Korean spa. I could have contacted people but God told me specifically not to. Why? He wanted me to trust Him, not people.

But God showed up in ways I never would have expected (I’ll have to write a book someday).

God taught me grace- that grace is not something I work for but something I receive and inherit because JESUS died for me to have it.

I learned what it REALLY means to be a child of God.

Many people become Christians but never activate and use their faith. They stay stagnant and unchanging because they don’t realize that faith must be exercised.

You will not receive the PROMISE LAND if you trust in your own efforts. You must go forward, empty handed sometimes.

I am stronger now in Christ than when I was strong in my flesh.

THERE IS A BIG transition and change coming and I know that many of you (myself included) is wondering HOW GOD is going to do it. But I promise you that He will do it, somehow. Because HE HAS done it before.

“In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from rivers and from bandits, in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the sea and among false brothers, in labor and toil and often without sleep, in hunger and thirst and often without food, in cold and exposure.

Apart from these external trials, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches….If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is forever worthy of praise, knows that I am not lying..” 2 Corinthians 11

Amsterdam, Holland

Hanoi, Vietnam-

Hanoi, Vietnam

Melaka, Malaysia

Morocco

It’s Meant To Be Impossible For You, it’s ONLY POSSIBLE WITH GOD.

On May 17, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifecoach, lifehack, love, meditation, prophetic word, relationship, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer

Hey everyone,

This season has been super heavy with expectation and birthing.

I woke up from a dream where I moved to a new house, but it was in New York, it was cold….I took a picture and when I did I noticed a man dressed like Santa Clause who was sitting camouflaged to the environment. He was just chilling. In the dream, I walked into the new house that had nothing in it and I wondered how my mom bought it with no money.

When I woke up, I felt the Lord speaking to me:

“It’s MEANT TO BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU but POSSIBLE FOR GOD”.

THERE ARE MAJOR DECISIONS, PROMISES BEING MANIFESTED IN THIS HOUR that HAS GOTTEN YOU FEELING WEARY AND TIRED….but it’s BECAUSE many of us are trying to make it happen with our own human strivings, flesh, strategies.

“So he said to me, ‘This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 4:6

“I NEED YOU TO COME TO THE END OF YOURSELF SO THAT YOU WOULD RELY ON ME ALONE FOR THE finances, the resources, the people, the way, the strategy. STOP LOOKING AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE (the talent, the skill, the opportunities, the money, the friends)- LOOK AT WHO I AM, someone who gives freely and can DO ALL THINGS FOR YOU”.

I will be glorified through your testimony of HOW I’ll part the seas for you.

Watch this video and share this post/video with your friends:

It’s Time To Move Forward

On May 5, 2018May 5, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn coach, dream, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifecoach, lifehack, love, prophetic word, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer

Tell my people “It’s time to move forward”.

Many people have been in a season of battle and tribulation. The enemy has attacked you with depression, frustration and weariness.

The Lord is saying “Take heart, I have overcome the world. This too shall pass”.

I prophesy that this month and onward, you are going to advance into your territory.

I pray that all weariness will fall off of you and you will enter into a new season of rest with God. I pray that all distraction will be removed so that you can focus on what God has for you in the secret place.

It’s time to move forward. Yes, this word was spoken in the beginning of the year, but prophesies take time to walk out.

Whatever God has been speaking to you about, take it by faith and choose to trust God.

Doubts will come – “I’m not enough, I don’t have enough, I can’t”.

But God says “I am enough, I have everything and you can because I am in you”.

Get ready, get ready, get ready.

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Breaking Off The Spirit of Mammon- The World’s System That Enslaves Our Souls

On April 30, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, entertainment industry, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lawofattraction, lifehack, Relationships, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer

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I thought I was going to write about this later but this morning I felt such a clear word from God to write this revelation.

Last night I had a dream that clarified somethings.

He is breaking off the spirit of mammon.

The Law of attraction is actually not biblical. God told me that He does not measure things by material manifestation or money. He told me that He can anoint a homeless person and give peace to someone who has no car.

He can give you $30 and you can feel rich. Someone can have billions of dollars and not HAVE ANY presence of Jesus in them.

God said “it grieves me that people measure their worth by how much they have, what they have, what talents they have, what they can do….my only measure is faith, hope and love”.

People seek me for material things and they think it will satisfy their hearts but it is never enough.

If you are rich in love, then you are rich. But if you have no love, no Jesus in your life, you are poor.

People think that if I think about something more luxurious I will get a more luxurious experience or thing. For example, trying to manifest a handbag. They think this will bring them happiness.

People also think that if they side with poverty, or not having anything they are more noble. This is not the case.

He said both is idolatry. Your worth has nothing to do with money.

He said “when you worry more about money than on receiving love from me, you have allowed the spirit of mammon to take over your life”.

He said “you are worthy, so worthy I died for you on the cross so you can have my presence in you”.

When we attach our lives to what we think we need to live, we try to control what comes in and out, we have actually become enslaved by the Devil who desires to make us slaves to his system, his spiritual bondage.

We have become our own gods instead of trusting God for provision.

God said IF you put me first in everything in your life, if you seek my presence- you will have everything. Because I am everything.

When you start to judge by the dollar signs of things, you start to judge people who seem less fortunate, you think they are poor, they are despicable. You start to think that people have lots of money are “blessed”, that is not the case. You will think you are useless if you aren’t productive in society.

You will see things like the world and stop having the heart of God when you judge by the spirit of mammon.

GOD SAID “YOU HAVE AN ANOINTING, YOU CARRY MY PRESENCE, YOU CAN HEAL THE SICK, YOU CAN BREAK EVIL SPIRITS FROM PEOPLE, YOU ARE WORTHY because you carry the weight of my GLORY”.

The spirit of mammon is pervasive.

“”No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

The world thinks that if people are famous, rich, and known they are being esteemed by God, not the case.

Matthew 5:

³“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I don’t write this carelessly. I have experience growing up in a single parent home where we constantly struggled with finance. I kept hearing “we don’t have enough, we can’t afford this”. But when we could, I wanted and needed things. The spirit of mammon controlled my thinking.

I thought I needed to be financially independent to be influential. God humbled me. He told me to sell everything and follow Him. You know how He broke off the spirit of mammon and continues to do so? He tells me to give.

There were times I didn’t have enough and He told me to give it all, every last cent. I gave it as a sacrifice but as a way to die to my flesh.

My prayer is “KILL EVERYTHING IN ME that has nothing to do with love. If I am worshiping anything other than you, destroy it”.

I KNOW it’s an intense way to live, but it’s because I found the one true thing worth living for- God.

Have I been in intense situations because of my desire to live for God? YES. Absolutely.

But it’s so worth it. Because at the end of it, I found that LOVE was the only thing worth living for. If it’s not love, kill it God.

I pray this will bring deliverance for you to be ABSOLUTELY free from WORRY about provision. ABBA FATHER LOVES YOU and HIS PRESENCE CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD.

When I first started stepping into my calling, I often ask God how He would provide because I was basically to love people, prophesy over them, encourage and empower them…but I found coaching to be straining (because I was so worried about making a living that everything was strife)…

And God said “feed my sheep, focus on love and I will provide. Love with purity and you will never lack. Have no motive but love. Look to me for provision”.

He is truly faithful.

It has been a wild ride.

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL THINGS will be added onto you.

“I WILL BE GLORIFIED in IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS and I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU when you PUT ME First. LET THE WORLD SEE WHO I AM when I SHOW UP IN A BIG WAY IN YOUR LIFE. YOU WILL NOT BE SHAMED because I AM LOOKING FOR THOSE THAT WILL STEP INTO THE DARKNESS AND BE THE LIGHT”.

The Fire of Refinement

On April 28, 2018April 28, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dating, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifecoach, lifehack, love, Love blog, meditation, philosophy, Relationships, solo travel, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer

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This morning I confronted someone about the way she was talking to me.

I said it hurts me and makes me feel like she doesn’t love me. Basically when someone is mean to me, I cope by being positive and trying to recite truth and all that.

But I felt like God was saying “I want the real you, I want you to feel the emotions and not ignore them or try to be positive”. Stand up and fight this battle.

And then I burst out crying.

It was like emotional hell, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. I was being verbally abused but I had just become numb…since it’s my mom, I thought “I just have to deal with it”.

As you know, in many Asian families emotions like sadness are a sign of weakness. We do not talk about vulnerable things like “it hurts me when you say this”.

Instead, anger is okay for some reason. Like you can be sad and just show it by yelling. Like it doesn’t make sense at all.

Then she replied “do you have depression or something?”

I turned my head and rolled my eyes….this is retarded.

At least I did my part. No apologies from her end. But it’s okay, I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore.

I don’t feel like my heart is swallowing itself anymore.

It’s easy to exit, escape and walk away. It’s easy to move and just not talk to that person, but I feel like in this season God wants us to face those emotional battles.

A lot of people end up alone in life because they don’t want to face the hard emotional battles that come with love.

Love is NOT easy.

Love is well, longsuffering. Love is patient, love is kind, love is….well 1 Corinthians 13:4

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This season God is refining me…and perhaps you.

the process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance.

IF God is love then HE IS making me MORE LIKE HIM. God is removing anything in me that is not love. This means, I must also confront the people and things in my life that is NOT treating me with love. And I must Forgive.

Because Forgiveness will loosen my heart from the grips of the devil.

Love and forgiveness are fierce. They are the evidence of Christ in someone’s life. Someone who is able to forgive when they have been fiercely wronged….that is not weakness, that is FIERCE.

Jesus loves me with a fierce love and He is teaching me how to be this fierce love. How do I continue to love someone who constantly hurts me?

Forgiveness.

And sometimes space to recuperate and cry. And boundaries.

I pray God will give you the wisdom and strength to love, confront, to overcome hurt in your relationships.

God Closes Doors To Protect You From People Who Don’t See Your Worth

On April 13, 2018April 13, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn coach, dream, entertainment industry, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, Hollywood, lawofattraction, lifecoach, prophetic word, relationship, self-help, spirituality, Television, therapy, writer

God closes doors and opportunities to protect you from people who don’t see your worth
This VIDEO will change your life and how you VIEW REJECTION!

I have BEEN rejected so many times in my life. In fact, my elementary and middle school years were riddled with bullying and rejection. This continued on in my life as I was different wherever I went. I didn’t realize it was because of the light in me, my refusal to compromise my values and who I am.

I hope this video will change your life and how you view rejection. I know it hurts but when you see the light shinning in you, you’ll realize, GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM and HE CREATED ME THIS WAY FOR A PURPOSE!

Be grateful when God hides you. “I know you have glory on you, but I don’t want the wrong people to see it and take advantage of it. They won’t cherish you, they won’t celebrate you, they’ll scheme and misuse you!” says the Lord.

Be grateful when God hides you because He WANTS YOU TO SEE YOUR WORTH before anyone else does so that YOU WILL KNOW how to negotiate for what you are worth when the time comes….you won’t settle LOW or SELL YOURSELF SHORT for the glory that is in you.

Be grateful when God hides you because He is waiting for the RIGHT people and opportunities to open their eyes to you so that your anointing won’t be tainted by the greed and selfishness of the wrong people.

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The Father’s Love Will End Your Search for “Enough”

On March 20, 2018March 20, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn christianity, coach, dream, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lifehack, love, meditation, philosophy, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, travel, writer

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For many of us, we are taught that “one day you will be enough”.

One day when you find your prince charming and get married, then you’ll be enough (because someone wants you and find you valuable).

One day when you establish your career and make a lot of money, then you’ll be enough (because your worth is defined by the commas in your account).

One day when you contribute to the world by doing philanthropic work, then you will be enough (because your worth is defined by how much you give to the world).

One day when you move out and become independent, needing no one, then you’ll be enough (because you are born a burden to your parents and you are NOT enough when you are born).

All of those, a lie.

Because the search for enough is never ending in this world’s system, if you choose to live in that realm of reality.

The search ends when you accept and believe that God has made you enough, that you are whole because Jesus took the place for your “not enough” and credited to your account who He is- perfect and “enough”.

You are, perfect and enough in His eyes.

There is something settling about finding your place in God’s embrace, when He speaks over you “you are enough”.

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Even though your parents, your surroundings, your peers might not find you to be enough, you sink deeper into His unending “enough”. There is an overflowing enough where your burdens are light and your responsibilities little.

All He has called you to is to rest and allow your burdens to become His.

Those burdens seem to vanish quickly, sinking into His love.

Why is it that many of us are cute and unconditionally loved when we are children, but when we grow up it seems that love is limited?

Because people encounter disappointments after disappointments in their own life…..and they push hopes and dreams on you, hoping that you’ll BE THE ONE to make them happy.

They hope that MAYBE you’ll give them the hope they need to continue dreaming and living, maybe you’ll be the one to save them.

The truth is only God can do that. Yes, you can give people hope, you can encourage them, but the true responsibility falls to the maker.

Who is the only one that knows you intimately, the one who formed you in your mother’s womb. We find peace and relaxation in His arms, knowing that He is taking care of us. Like a baby, we can sleep in peace and wake in peace.

We understand that it is His job to feed us, to nurture us, to protect us.

But many of us did not grow up that way, so we continue to live in fear. We live like orphans without a daddy. We become independent in the physical and material realm but still hoping that someone will tell us “I’m proud of you”, “you’ve made it”, and “you are worthy of my love”.

The truth is, no amount of verbal encouragement will ease the pain and void of not enough…only the embrace of the Father…can we find true ease.

“So it’s okay to come out of hiding now, I know you have been through hurts and disappointments.

I know people have failed you, but my love will never fail you. I will guide you and protect you. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will not disgrace or humiliate you. You are safe under my wings and protection. Come out my hidden ones. It is your time to shine. Come out my beautiful children. I am your Father. I will never hurt you. Come out beautiful children of mine, kings and queens of this earth and the heavenly realms”.

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It’s Okay To Grieve The Last Season

On January 2, 2018January 6, 2018 By Rebekka LienIn coach, entrepreneur, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, law of attraction, prophetic word, relationship, spirituality, travel, writer

It's Okay To Grieve The Last Season

It’s okay to grieve the last season. Maybe you lost some friendships, relationships in your life. Maybe you were disappointed. God is not scared of your emotions.

God wants your emotions.

He wants you to be honest with Him.

Don’t be afraid to FEEL the FEELINGS.

We are not robots, we are human beings.

Even though our emotions aren’t always based on the truth of who we are, perhaps people accused us or we’ve been rejected and they are speaking lies about you….but it still hurts.

It’s okay to FEEL THE FEELINGS.

Yes, there is a hope and a future for 2018 but maybe you haven’t processed the feelings of pain and loss. Take this time now to grieve, to cry.

You can’t possibly feel joy if you haven’t processed the pain.

The death of something requires a grieving process. God can soften the pain, God will certainly be your comforter.

He wants to walk with you through the pain.

“Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them. He said: 3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”….Matthew 5:1-4

So cry those tears, cry until your heart doesn’t feel blocked anymore.

Then you can start to see clearly what 2018 is about. Yes, your breakthrough is here. You just need to cry out the last season. Don’t be afraid to let go. Don’t be afraid to surrender. God has your back, He hasn’t forgotten you. He has a great plan for you this year. I promise.

But it’s time to LET GO and surrender. Let it ALL out.

God loves you.

A Blog Post For Children of Divorce

On December 29, 2017December 29, 2017 By Rebekka LienIn coach, culture, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, writer

Divorce is awful to the people who divorce, but even worse for the children.

We are the invisible children who often suffer in darkness.

But Asian culture makes it about invalidating the pain…”you should be grateful you know, that you weren’t abandoned, that a parent even took care of you” (like we are burdens instead of gifts in this world). These are the words you hear when you grow up in an Asian household. You are also taught to pretend like nothing is wrong. You are taught to hold your breathe and put on a mask.

Because it is shameful, divorce.

So there are seasons of my life where I feel pangs in my heart that I can’t explain, that I can’t pray away. It’s God healing the layers of pain that can’t be explained with words….it’s suffering in injustice and peeling off the hidden layers of protection, it’s trying not to drown and holding onto the cross, it’s looking up from under the ocean, every time God heals me…slowly swimming closer to the surface where I can finally breathe and laugh again.

It’s God unlocking chains that have held me down too deep, too many contracts and agreements that I didn’t agree to, that I was born into.

I didn’t agree to this. I break it off, I break off every lie that I was born into.

I break off every pain that tore through my heart, I break off the shame and the guilt that wasn’t mine.

It’s not your fault you know, if you were a child of divorce. You were a child who needed protection, not the other way around. You couldn’t possibly shield your parents from pain, you couldn’t have stopped the move, you couldn’t have because you were a child who needed protection.

So don’t feel guilty for not having done more. Even now it’s not your fault. You were a helpless child.

Children of divorce often grow up with too much on their plates and they often continue to take on more than they can handle, sacrificing their own happiness to make others happy. Because I’ve caused enough hardships. I was a burden on her or him. My very life is a mistake.

You are not a mistake, you are a gift from God. You were born into a tragic story but you were born as a brilliant idea of God, you are a gift and you are gifted.

No wonder some people live in rejection even until they are gray and old.

“No one will ever love me”- says he or she…”I’m not worthy of love”.

I wish I could tell you that this world is perfect, but it’s not. We are born into an imperfect world that needs redemption.

God is redeeming me everyday. Some seasons are heavier where I am faced with the wounds in my heart caused by thousands of stabbing.

There are layers and layers of protection and false bandages that children of divorce use. There are guilt trips and false shame.

Some of us live normal lives not recognizing or accepting that we have been wounded. These unrecognized wounds become unhealthy and destructive patterns in our lives. Sometimes we drown it with addictions like alcohol, sometimes we drown it by working hard and making money (and we are applauded for that, society looks up to that), sometimes we drown it with relationships and codependent friendships, sometimes we drown it by constantly being alone or constantly being with people.

It’s not about you, parents. This post is not about you. This post is about us children. We get to have a space to be ourselves, we are not guilt tripping you.

We get to have feelings, we get to have emotions. We are human, we are not an accessory to your lives. We were not born to be cute or helpful. We were born for God and FROM GOD. We were not born to satisfy or a fulfill a life you didn’t live, we were not born to be your source of love. We were born for God and from God.

The responsibility to take care of wounded parents seem to last a life time, but it’s not supposed to. Children of divorce are not supposed to feel responsible for their parents’ divorce.

We are supposed to move on into healthy relationships and have healthy opinions of ourselves.

But many of us still live under shame and guilt. We feel guilty for being born, we feel guilty for creating a mess, even though it’s not our mess. We feel guilty for being a burden.

So God set us free.

Set us free from the lie that we are not enough.

Set us free from the lie that we are a burden and not a gift.

Set us free from shame. Set us free from feelings of unworthiness.

Set us free from the lie that we will never be happy and that we don’t deserve to be happy.

I have carried burdens that aren’t mine for too long and I need healing too. This is a space I get to be honest and myself. This is a space I get to be loved. Some people tell me “it seems like you are blaming your parents” or I hear “you shouldn’t write about it” ….but is silence better? Is it better to live in a world where everyone just pretends to be fine and dandy?

Why don’t we get to have feelings?

If I don’t write about it, who will. Who will break the silence?

Who will shine light on the invisible children? Who will remember the forgotten ones? The children who grow up into adults but still live as rejects.

Most people will not see it, but God sees and He cares. He cares for every wound in your heart, He cares about every tear that you cry. He wants to set you free.

A prayer of release (read this out loud)- Dear God, from today on I break off any lies and contracts that were made on my soul and spirit the day I was born. I was born into imperfection and sin, but Jesus died on the cross for me to be righteous in your eyes. I am enough. I am loved by you. I am not a reject. I break off any responsibilities that are NOT mine.

From today on, I am a free person, I get to live my own life. I am not tied to my parents’ divorce, I am not a child of divorce any longer. I am a child of God. Now you are my parent, you take care of me, you protect me, you guide me. You have always been there for me, even when I felt like an orphan. I now remember that I am royalty, I was born to reign and not to suffer in silence.

I forgive my parents and I forgive myself for carrying burdens that aren’t mine.

I am a free person! There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.

Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name Amen.