How To Overcome Fear

Some mornings, many mornings I wake up afraid.

Not with anxiety, but I’m afraid to put myself out there. I’m afraid because the previous day I encountered an awkward situation. Some days I encounter people who are difficult, some days I’m afraid of rejection.

That fear is a spirit coming against me to put me in a corner.

Me- I didn’t get enough sleep! I slept 6 hours.

God- It’s more than enough.

Sometimes I feel like I need more encouragement, more approval, more money, more sleep, more this or more that….and it prevents me from going forward.

But then God will tell me to get out of bed- He’ll say “you are enough”.

How many of you linger in bed or at home, afraid to go out? Because you feel like you are not enough? And so even though you are lonely and want to make friends, you’d rather stay in bed? Even though you want to get married, you don’t want to ask anyone out?

You want to have a family, a tribe of friends that understand, but you’re petrified of rejection.

You do ministry and have to fundraise, but you’re scared of rejection or judgement so you’d rather not ask. And you struggle on your own.

Sure it is easier to stay in your bed but do you know that you are submitting to fear? The enemy wants you to live in fear. He doesn’t want you to have friends. He doesn’t want you step into your promises, He doesn’t want you to meet your husband/wife because if you don’t put yourself out there, you will never meet your husband/wife. 

God wants you to live in freedom.

He says YOU ARE FREE!

You are free to run, fail, make mistakes, cry, even experience trauma, heal and get up again.

GET UP! RISE!

IT is not ABOUT being perfect, it’s about living in freedom and knowing God will always embrace you in His arms, never judge you or reject you. You are always right in His eyes.

Some of you have also been submitting to uncomfortable situations because you’re afraid to speak your truth. Instead of living in freedom, you’d rather submit to peoples’ expectations of who you should be….today make a choice to speak your truth loud and clear.

Sow a seed, thank you for your partnership in setting people free! 

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ! https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my

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Destroying The Pressure To Perform

Things you should know about me: 

  1.  I love to go to the Abbey, it is a gay club, and I have many friends there. I’ve had a lot of Christians ask me why I would go to a gay club. The reasons are: I love the people there, I love the people there, I love dancing, I love dancing, and I love dancing with the people I love. I love music. I love fashion. 
  2. I have smoked weed before but I do not smoke it anymore. I had a bad experience eating a weed cake in Amsterdam.
  3. I have a heart for the LGBT community because I understand the pain of being rejected.
  4. I have stopped pretending and stopped being “polite” because I say what’s on my mind most of the time now. I’m not going to pretend to be nice or kind when I’m mad now. I will be mad. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not anymore. SO ADIOS TO THE OLD ME! 
  5. My birthday is February 11 – financial gifts and donations are welcome! (I need a new phone)

Give a gift to this ministry, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Cashapp-gugibabu

Monthly Partnership- https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ! https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my…

 

How To Heal From A Broken Heart

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You can get a broken heart from many things, failed friendships, relationships, being hurt by words people speak towards you, etc…ministry, etc.

We may try to but…

  1. Don’t avoid the feelings, go through the pain of healing.

Now it’s very easy to shut down your heart completely so here are ways I’ve found helps me.

a. Watch movies that are emotional or funny or just watch movies you feel led to watch.

b. Go do something fun to alleviate the pain in your heart

c. Talk about it with someone

d. Do things you like.

e. Rest

When we have a broken heart we feel like God is depriving us from what we want, so it’s easy to start having a really skewed mindset of your life. You feel like you’ll never get what you want or the pain is separating you from everything you want in life.

You start thinking with your head and not your heart. You start trying to figure your life out and you think of the best way to avoid any type of pain. You will think of the fastest way to get home and you’ll want to stay home.

And it’s OKAY!

Do what your heart is leading you to do.

I realize there were times I tried to force myself to be outgoing or I’d force myself to do hard things.

However, there were also times that my heart actually wanted to meet new people, go out, follow God but I was afraid of taking risks and chances. I was afraid that if I asked someone to pray for them, they’d snap and yell at me (again). I was afraid that if I continued fundraising, that people would say no or judge me (again). I was afraid that my mother would yell at me if I told her the truth (again).

I’ve seen that when my heart is healing from rejection or judgement, God will somehow send the right people on my path to heal my heart. He will send kind people who respond to my kindness, He’ll send a little surprise to say “hey I’m here”.

I felt my heart shut down when I had to cut some guy out of my life. I knew he wasn’t my future husband and I knew he wasn’t exactly what I wanted anyway, but it still hurt to cut him off. It’s like you are talking to someone and suddenly you can’t relay your heart to that person anymore, you can’t give or receive love from that person. Communication is completely dropped.

Then when I left Taiwan a few months ago, communication completely stopped with my dad too. He basically stopped talking to me. This happened many times in my life. Whenever I’d connect with him emotionally in Taiwan, I’d leave, and then it’s like I suddenly don’t exist anymore.

When people stop talking to you, you feel like your heart is undernourished but I am grateful God sent friends to speak to my heart.

Yesterday I felt like dancing and left the house at midnight.

I met a bunch of people this time. There was a small short guy, he had a baby face and I thought he was so cute. He told me he was bi. I was dancing with him and his friends and suddenly he backed off. He said that he had a boyfriend. I said that I wasn’t trying to hit on him, I just thought he was cute as I repeatedly said to him. I was showing admiration.

But he got scared, he said he felt awkward about it.

Maybe it triggered something in him.

I asked “then can I pretend you’re gay?” and dance with you? Sounds strange right? But he was basically scared that he would start liking me and have a change of affection.

But I was thinking about last night and I thought to myself “why am I attracted to a 23 year old guy who is bi?”

He had the same name as my dad. Weird.

I thought about it. I am often attracted to man who have baby faces, who are younger, and who are not “manly”. 

I thought about it. I think it’s because I don’t feel intimidated by them. I feel safer with them and I feel like they won’t try to control me. 

Perhaps it’s also because I feel like it won’t last.

Now, perhaps that’s just my state of mind right now. I know younger men aren’t ready to settle and my sub conscious mind still has a fear of settling down, finding my life partner.

It sounds weird but I’m scared to meet a man who actually wants to get married. I’m still scared of a man who knows how to take responsibility and treat me right.

I think maybe because I don’t know if I can handle it. Because I’ve never encountered it, not in my life anyway.

Most of the men I met were irresponsible or thought mostly of themselves. They had a lot of issues, were addicts to something, or had a victim mindset. 

I’m not sure if I’m ready to take care of anyone else.

In a strange way I think of bisexuals are non-commitals. They’re scared to commit to anything, that’s not a judgement but maybe a prophetic way of saying I’m not truly ready for marriage. I’m still learning to love me.

I’m still working out what I want in a man and I actually am starting to enjoy being single again. 

Do you ever get scared when someone treats you right?

Why?

Sow a Seed (make a donation)- thank you and blessings towards you. 

https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

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Speak Up Contest!

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Art by Justine TF- Visit my friends’ websites, she is an amazing artist with something amazing to express! “http://facebook.com/TheJustineTF

Anyone who likes, comments, and/or shares this blog post “Speak Up” until Friday, April 11 at 11:59 pm PST will be entered to to win a “Speak Up” art print by Justine TF.

Her artwork Speak Up inspired me to speak boldly for my life, my desires and my dreams….I thank her for influencing me with her creative expression. Thanks Justine!

Here’s a poem and blog post dedicated to SPEAKING UP!

Speak Up-

When all feels dim and your thoughts are cluttered, speak up and don’t wait until it is too late.

Let your words flow from your heart, words that are true, words that are raw, let yourself be,

be vulnerable, be wanting, be sad, be romanced….

Let your words be true, speak up.

When the lights are dimmed and the bugs creep up the walls of my fermented heart, I let oxygen in, breathing deeply, I allow the vocal chords to open up and that fresh voice, so long abandoned, sings.

Courage, to be.

Courage, to feel.

Courage, to speak, up, up higher than we can ever know, up, up higher than we will ever reach, eclipsing.

We are allowed to be who we want to be, at the end of the day, speak up, don’t speak when it is too late to rescue the forgotten hearts.

Relationships don’t work because of fear, when someone does not bring 100% to the table because they are scared to get hurt, the relationship fails. Love is boldly loving 100%, love is self-sacrificing ONLY when it is based on love, not fear. Love is speaking TRUTH and speaking what is on your heart so that fear does not creep in and get the better of you.

I find that as humans we often hold back who we truly are to please people. For that moment, we are granted temporary acceptance, yet we have caused our hearts to die a little more. That once beating heart, slowly losing tempo…until one day, we have ceased to feel. That is the biggest tragedy we will have encountered. I hope that you never let that happen, because a life that is worth living is a life that you FIGHT for, that means you FIGHT for your voice and yourself. When we live in the authentic expression of who we really are, we will also allow others’ soul to soar and sing. Then we will have done our job as human beings on earth.

Will you allow your spirit to soar? Because you are worth it, you are a bird wants to be free. How many people crave the truest expression of their hearts, yet struggle to be who they really are? You can find it in love, there is absolutely NO fear in love.

Rebekka – your freedom fighter

http://www.twitter.com/rebekka_lien

Instagram- Rebekkalien

Anyone who likes, comments, and/or shares this blog post “Speak Up” until Friday, April 11 at 11:59 pm PST will be entered to to win a “Speak Up” art print by Justine TF. www.facebook.com/justinetfart

Now

Now.

People. People are those that stay by you and leave. Balloons that sway one direction and the next thing you know, gone, into the air. Onto another land.

Now. Is the time.

A year ago we prayed that God would use us to touch peoples’ lives. You are only a phone call away. I, am leaving this familiar terrain. We keep wishing. Wishing. Wish we do, pray we do. Then, all of a sudden, our lives are changed overnight. And then we almost wish that we didn’t wish. Because wishing sometimes leads to reality. So I beg myself. Please, enjoy now.

Now. Is passing me.

Just as I write.

Now. Is when I have the ability to grasp and change my situation. Now is a gift granted that I must take, with vision of the future, imagining something bigger with the small now that is taking place. Now has everything to do with next and the future. Everything that we do now forms and molds the future that we will one day say “now” is “today”.

Crying for joy, crying for grief. Crying as though I had never cried. In front of people I never cried before. Grief has taken a hold and floodgates spreading forth. I am prouder than I know, weaker than I think, frailer than I’ll ever conceive. Standing ground, finding balance, finding stability, yet flying forth, wings renewed, stronger than I’ve ever been. Today’s the day.

Now. I think back and unbelief blinds me. Eyes a wallow, shoulders soft, chairs tipping over, people in awe galore. Dancing to the lime light when no one else dares. Laughing loud when all’s a silent. I have the right to be f*** up sometimes, inhibition freed, as though I’ve never dared to touch those emotions stored up, venting.

Now. Confiding. I never did, I never faced the emotions. Skipped over, turned around, neglected, abandoned, the child growing up. Cracks, crackles, smiles, bloated faces, why not, why, why not, why. They questioned like birds on top of a building, nodding back and forth, not knowing, questioning, always questioning…but never reaching a conclusion. I spew answers, I spew truth, and I’m the best preacher you’ve met in town, though I too, am just as lost. Just decided to answer the call, that’s all.

Now. Abide.