Extraordinary Ordinary Moments

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I had a few nightmares last night and woke up in the middle of the night to cut down the small skeleton garland outside the porch, I walked to the trash can and tossed them. Somehow I needed to do that to cut ties with the spirit of death that was haunting me.

Good thing my dreams didn’t stay there. It continued on with someone making me spaghetti.

11:40am- take the bus to Pasadena

I eat at Sushi Stop, and I am not pleased with the sushi. Something has changed, the owner maybe. I don’t finish the carpaccio or whatever you call it, spirit tells me the end of it will make me sick.

I need to poop. I go inside Intelligentsia and ask for the code, but is given the wrong code. Good thing some guy comes and gives me the right code. I am defecating and the energy saving lights turn off. Now I have no light to wipe. Great. I’m sitting in the dark, trying to use my tablet light. Someone finally comes in and there is light. I yell “THANK GOD”. Girl laughs. When I exit I yell “thank you for saving my life”.

I proceed to fill my metro tap card. I wait for the 501, first time taking an express bus and within 15 minutes I’ve arrived in Burbank. I need to pee. I go to the hospital which the stop is near. I see a basket with “prayer request”, grab a slip and write down my request….please pray as I’m going to an audition, nothing to do with being sick or ill. I go back out for some tea, I go back in to pee and brush my teeth. I look like a hippie with my Mexican bought purple and pink hippie backpack.

I finally walk over for my audition. I am told that I have to impersonate a specialist of something I have no idea of. In the audition, I am suddenly struck with that tv show I once watched and am captivated in speech. How did I become so intelligent in this area?

All is done. I exit and meet a stranger at a bus stop. We talk about work and life. Within 15 minutes I’m back in Pasadena. I am hungry, for something. I don’t know what. But suddenly I realize it is French Fries. I walk over to the Taco place for french fries and drop loads of raddishes and salsa into the bag. I’m sitting outside and sees the owner of that bar across. I’ve stuffed myself. I walk over for some boba. I’m really in a rush, and I don’t know why. But as I’m peeing I realize, I just want to get home and watch netflix already. 

When I finally get home there is a package awaiting me.

Extraordinary Ordinary Moments. I squeal when I open it. Just what I needed in this really particular day and moment. I’m captivated by the drawings and the introduction. What was moments of free time for Jorey (the author), became expressions of love and ordinary moments that turned extraordinary. I’m in love, with those ordinary moments, like when a stranger walked into the eco-saving bathroom and created light for me to wipe my ass. 5 out of 5 as I will be using this journal to write down moments of pee and poop. It is SO affordable in my opinion, everyone should have one. 

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Ps- I did receive this book to give an honest review. I’m honest as can be right?

Daily Surrender

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The beauty of life actually lies in the act of daily surrender.

As crazy as people say I am, the more I live a life of surrender, the more I realize how limited my thinking is. I cannot begin to comprehend how God works and that is just the beauty of it. I’m dumb as fuck compared to God. 

Life becomes enjoyable when we admit that our wisdom is beyond limited and God’s unimaginably creative and mind blowing.

By letting go of control, we get to partner with God in creating art out of our lives, to feel deeply each emotion, to play, to have fun, to create a rich life of love.

I am lost for words, sometimes unable to even express the plethora of emotions that is in my heart. I will go days feeling the tensions and not knowing how to face my truth.

It is in admitting “I don’t know why that happened, why nothing happened according to my preconceived notion of what should have happened, and why I even had that notion in the first place’ and maybe that I’m disappointed, scared that life is unpredictable, uncontrollable….

That my heart can finally release it’s grip.

It is okay that I don’t know.

It is okay that I may have been disappointed, but I want to continue learning how to surrender to God’s infinite ways of life.

Nowadays, grace is not so popular. Not knowing is so unpopular, there is an answer for everything. But I don’t always know what is going on and I’m okay with it. God’s got it, God has it figured out, He knew me before I was born.

I might not know where I’m going geographically even in the next month, and it upsets people. They want to make plans with me, but I can’t. My loyalty isn’t to them. My loyalty is to God. Make plans with me in the next week, but after that, I don’t know where I’m going. If I feel RIGHT about something, I will commit to doing it, but if I don’t feel RIGHT in my heart about it, I won’t. I have an inner compass. Being loyal to your vision makes you uncontrollable, free. 

So don’t feel bad that life didn’t go the way you predicted, perhaps your get married by 30 plan, career plan, etc. Life is better in a daily act of surrender. Surrender never felt so sweet.

(pic above is in SF, my mom and I went on a last minute trip).

13 Days Of Mediation- Day 2- Learn To Celebrate Life

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Be a Child.

Be life- like.

Learn to laugh and smile, freely.

Learn to be, and not care so much about other people.

Observe children and learn to not scold them, or yourself.

Learn to forgive, mostly yourself. Because you are human, capable of making mistakes, capable of love, capable of truth and grace.

I love this book Pipi Longstocking! I found it while I was teaching english, yes, besides my busy career in Real Estate and managing an online store (along with vending at 2 boutiques in Pasadena), I sometimes teach.

Now, teaching kids make me more versatile, more childlike, more flexible in my career in real estate. Such as this book, I am able to see life as a challenge, a cartoon…I see myself as Pipi. I loved her since I was a little child in Germany. She is amazing because she can lift a wrestler and then do cartwheels after her victories.

My dream is to see people come alive, from the inside. I want to see people remember and awaken from a deadened life, where their superiors used to scold and judge based on how much they were laughing.

Why is it that our culture scolds people for laughing at work? People think they don’t work hard enough. People praise those that seem stress or are working very hard, yet have insomnia and all kinds of anxiety problems.

I think it is time we awaken the child within us and remember to take life by the bundles, full of joy….full of life.

Only then can we awaken our true and whole self. 

I don’t believe that we should quench the joy kids have. I think many of us have suppressed our wishes, dreams and joys to conform to the voices that tell us to be “good”, “to submit”, “to obey”….I think it is time we grow up and actually submit to ourselves, versus the imaginary parents or teachers that are not even ruling our lives anymore. I think it is time we listen to our hearts, to the small voice encouraging us to be happy, to live life fully, to run and skip without any judgement. To dance and wiggle, to do cartwheels, to laugh without feeling embarrassed, to feel the ecstasy of every breath and life we have.

How have you quenched your inner child and How will you CELEBRATE LIFE like a Child?

Cheers!

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Wealth In Your Soul

I think it’s important to dissect and evaluate our values, our perspective on wealth.

My friend had some really great points during our discussion on our lives.

What is wealth? And why do we value it. Wealth is usually associated with money, but think about the following:

1. What if you had all the best clothes, but had no friends to go out with to wear your nice clothes?

2. What if you had all the money in the world, but had no mental health to even walk outside and work, function?

3. What if you had no health, and isn’t health part of our wealth?

4. What about spirituality? Having a focal point, a vision, a stability in our spirit?

All human beings desire to be loved, to be valued, but it is so easy to get caught up with what the media and popular culture values. Living alone has helped me to see the importance of true friendships, genuine people who care for you, it has also shown me the deception of the world and the false faces that people put on to get what they want from you. It is most unfortunate. Essentially, humans are flawed. Knowing this, we can move forward and create our destiny.

I have learned throughout my 24 years…that few things matter without stability in YOUR SOUL (not in your circumstances), relationships are the only thing you have if you have nothing else, and that the NOISE of the world destroys identity. 

All the noise (busy-ness for nothing, random obligations that we care not for, grasping of air)- is the one thing that distracts us from reflecting on why we do anything. Is it for others, for others to think well of us, seeking of approval? Is it because we are hurt and refuse to deal with the hurt?

Silence Mind