Prophetic Word- Come Out Of Hiding

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Spoken Prophetic Word

“My child,

Come out of hiding. I know you’ve been hurt and wounded. I know it hurt, I know it sucked. 

I see a vision of you in a cave and you are rereading your past hurts. I see memories written down and you keep rereading them. It’s a dark dark cave.

I see a vision of you with lots of people accusing you, surrounding you and you are cowering in fear, you are scared of the world. 

But now I want you to come out. I want you to come out of the cave. Child, what I have for you. Colors and beauty. Yes there are accusers sent by the devil, but there are also lovers that will love you for who you are. They won’t accuse you, but love you.

I see a vision of you being embraced and hugged and loved for who you are. 

OH CHILD what I have for you. People who will give everything to love you. People who will say yes to you. People who will embrace you at your worse. And you may have moments where you feel like YOU don’t have enough or you are not enough. You feel so scared that you will fail them and you will fail them because you’re not supposed to be their god anyway.”

You see I found relationships suffocating at times because I felt pressure to be someone I wasn’t or I felt pressure to carry their burdens, I felt responsible for their problems and I didn’t know how to set boundaries. Perhaps I am still working on that. How do you spend time with people and still set boundaries to your heart?

You tell them- hey I need a break from talking about your problems. You set verbal boundaries, you speak honestly.

God- I am responsible for your heart. 

Will you let go of the past and move on?

Will you forgive and let me by your safety?

Do you know that I am enough for you and that you are perfect in my eyes. Don’t hold onto the pain. Let me be your safety net. 

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My Calling To Pastor Lost Sheep

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I was just talking to my friend about pastoring lost sheep. A lot of people don’t understand my calling and even the “lost sheep” ask me “so what’s your goal, what’s your vision”. I’m like you are. 

A lot of people also ask me if maybe God will bring someone to go with me.

Well I explained that pastoring lost sheep is a one on one job. God has sent me to 15-16 countries to find lost sheep. I am led by the Holy Spirit so even if I’m on an airplane if God says to move and I sense that I am not where I need to be, I start walking around the airplane looking for the “appointed” seat. It’s inconvenient and yes I get a lot of stares.

Sometimes I have to move rooms when I’m on the road because I don’t feel peace about one room, and it’s the receptionist I’m supposed to reach.

It’s led me to climb hills and valleys like this photo. It’s not a comfortable job or calling. I wasn’t sent out by a church or an organization. People are like “oh so your church must send you to a lot of places”. I’m like “no God sends me”.

Hurt and wounded people do not open to groups of missionaries, they open to one person who speaks into their heart and language. My sheep need special care. They usually feel rejected and have been significantly hurt by people. If the lost sheep is not a believer of Jesus, I usually pray and prophesy into what they’re going through and they are amazed by how I know things about them.

If the lost sheep is a believer who has been wounded by the church, well, sometimes they have a defensive mechanism and yes, I’m the one who feels like I’m getting the beating. But it’s just because people are not used to people who love without agenda.

And I’ve had sheep bite back too. They called me a fraud and that I wasn’t sent by God. When God tells me to ask specific people for donations I’ve gotten judged too. People are confused and don’t understand my calling or purpose. Mostly conservatives or people who don’t understand the holy spirit.

The Holy Spirit is well, FREE, not confined, not restricted, God is completely outside the box and will call you to do outrageous things that don’t make sense at the time.

You don’t get as much recognition and fame as those who pastor a church with a building. Sometimes you don’t receive appreciation either.

But that’s following Jesus, you do it because you love Jesus and you love people. Let’s just say it purifies your heart and I have to continue doing that each day, and not get caught up in unforgiveness or bitterness. Since it’s also a calling that is sometimes unpaid. You don’t get a weekly salary. You have to trust God to open peoples’ hearts to give or God will tell me who to ask.

It’s definitely not a traditional calling and few people do it. 

It requires you to have significant faith in the one who is faithful to provide and to take care of His children.

I told a catholic Polish man that I am a pastor and he said “but can women be pastors?” I said yes. Some men in church don’t allow women to be pastors because they want the recognition, their hearts are defiled by the need for fame. If you are pastoring people, you are a pastor. You don’t have to be ordained or be in a church to do it. 

God knows peoples’ hearts. He knows many people just do it for recognition. He is looking at those who pastor people out of love. 

When I was on a bus in New Zealand the Lord had me sit next to a staunch atheist. He was very defensive and asked me “what is God telling you?” I said “He told me to listen to you”. “Well I’m not sure if He wants you to listen to talks against God”. 

So he just talked about how he was a computer genius growing up and felt misunderstood. He told me how he was badly hurt by a pastor.

Why is it different when you serve out of listening to God?

It’s not a formula. It’s not just sharing tracts or sharing the 4 steps to salvation. God will always tell you what that person actually needs to hear. Loving people is not a formula. And bringing people to Jesus is not like doing sales. It’s about showing them that there is a God who deeply loves and cares for them.

And sure, I have to learn to set boundaries too. My job is to deliver a message, I’m a prophet so I deliver messages from God. My responsibility is not to help better their lives right away, that’s God’s job. I can’t be like a mom constantly by their side telling them what to do. Some people I minister to I never see again, some stay connected to me on social media and I get to see their growth. 

Sometimes I don’t get thanked, and sometimes I feel depleted or empty. And at that time I need to take care of myself. Sometimes I feel lack and I feel like I can’t go on and God says to me “it is in your weakness my strength is made perfect”.

It’s a calling that requires all of my heart.

I can’t put half my heart out there when God asks me to sit next to a stranger, talk to them, pray over them. Sometimes God tells me to ask a stranger for a donation, can you imagine the fear of rejection or judgement? It seems whatever evil can come against me has come against me. The spirit of witchcraft in people? Nightmares, demons? I’ve encountered them all because Satan really hates that someone is willing to risk their life, even if that means never getting an applause or a steady paycheck to rescue those that everyone else has seem to have forgotten.

Because I am one of those lost sheep, not that I ever strayed from God, I always heard His voice….but I was badly wounded by church leaders. They told me I was going down the path of destruction.

Like Joseph, I didn’t understand why people laughed at me when I said I was going to be Asian Oprah. They laughed because I could barely pay my rent and I was struggling to make ends meet. They laughed because they didn’t understand the seed God put in me, the power God put in me. They looked at my circumstances, not the resurrected Christ in me. 

Now I understand why I had to go through the torment of ridicule, shaming and guilt tripping.

So that I can withstand anything that comes against me on the road.

You can read about why I left everything to Follow Jesus.

And you know what’s cool, when there’s those few that honor, respect and love you for who you are. I am grateful for the ones that have stood by me and encouraged me when I was discouraged. It’s not an easy job. I was telling my friend (that I met on instagram) that most nights when I’m staying at a new place I’m praying to God “please let there not be loud noises next door”. You just never know what to expect. I never know what assignments are out there. Most people go back to the same home every night and when I’m able to do that for a few days, I’m really grateful to God. 

Prayer Request and updates:

  1. I’ll be in LA until September 5 and flying to New York. I have 3 layovers in Vegas, Denver and Chicago. I know it’s crazy but God told me this was the one to book and there must be a lot of divine appointments on this journey.
  2. Pray for protection, strength, energy, joy, health. Pray for rest in the few days I’m here.
  3. Pray for the hearts of those I’ve sown seeds into. Pray for the thousands of people I’ve ministered to on the road. Pray for God to protect the seeds of His gospel.
  4. Pray for Christians who are stuck in the religious mindset and need to be set free by the holy spirit. Pray for God to open their hearts and see the new move of God. Pray for them to welcome the fact that God can speak to them. One of my calling is to set Christians free from condemnation. A lot of people don’t understand grace, so I have to explain that at the point of salvation God only sees Jesus in them.
  5. Pray for God’s abundant provision as God is saying to go to Korea soon. I have a one way ticket to New York and may be flying out to Korea after- as the holy spirit leads.
  6. Pray for BOLDNESS to do whatever God asks me to do. Pray against the spirit of fear or intimidation, or any impure spirit that tries to come against me. Pray that I will be so focused on God’s love that nothing shakes me.

If you would like to support me or my ministry- links are below. Thank you so much! $500-$600 is needed for the flight to Korea. My goal is to raise $4000 in the next few days or weeks to cover the flights and expenses needed for August and September. If there are more needs I know God will provide as I continue! 

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One of my favorite pictures where God led me to a hostel in Singapore and there was a roomful of Korean kids on an English field trip with their English teacher.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

15 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15:1-7

Choose God’s Path

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A word on my spirit. Someone out there is choosing the easier and more comfortable route but God is asking you to step out in faith. It’s not an easy word to deliver because no one likes to be uncomfortable but God’s intention is to grow you.

Feel free to message me on Facebook if you have questions or want to tell me your story.

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You don’t have to suppress your desires anymore

I had a dream I was at my fashion design graduation and I had no idea what to design but an idea came for wearable art and before I knew it I was packing up my box. I also saw free champagne and cake. I asked for a glass but they couldn’t find one. Finally I found a hologram Colored one and poured a bunch of lime green colored champagne into my glass. I was surprised that I wanted to drink so much since I hadn’t drank in ages. The glass suddenly cracked and broke.

The Lord spoke to me when I woke up. He said that most people drown out their desires by watching television or drinking, or shopping, eating, sex, etc.

It’s instant gratification.

When we’ve been in seasons of waiting or prolonged delay, we feel that it’s God’s heart to deprive us of things. We start believing we need to suffer to earn God’s blessings.

And when we do receive it we don’t believe we deserve it or that God will take it away.

I went through years of being stripped away of everything. Because those things were places of slavery. I was a slave to what my friends thought of me, what my mom thought of me. I was a slave to my rent and my car bills. I was a slave to societal standards.

When Jesus said “sell everything and follow me” He didn’t mean that He would never bless me and that He wanted me to live like a beggar. He simply meant “if you give everything up, I shall give you true power. You will no longer be a slave to society and you will no longer define yourself by what you have”. However because I will no longer be a slave to the blessings, God will pour out His blessings because He knows as freely as I received as freely I will give.

So all of it is a season of testing.

The more you are able to release, the more He will bless you. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. He won’t give you above what you can handle.

He wants us to live without fear and following Jesus has helped me to overcome fears I didn’t think I have.

Things God freed me from:

A fear of men and what they think of me- approaching strangers to pray for them. I experience tons of negative reactions. But the more I’m rejected the more I seek refuge in being a daughter of God.

A fear of lack- sometimes not knowing how I’ll eat or pay for accommodation but trusting God and following His instructions to get the provisions I need instead of figuring it out on my own.

A fear of death- knowing that God has my back and His angels are watching over me.

God said to me “you deserve to have what you want, you deserve to be happy”.

“But Lord I suffered so much loss, how can I have what I want?”

“What is it you want?”

“A family. A sense of connectedness with friends and family. Restoration of my family. I want to come out from under the weight of pain and live freely from the past. I don’t just want to help other fulfill their dreams, I want to see my own fulfilled. I want to write tv shows, direct films, design clothes, write books, speak to people on stages, I want to help others through my own dreams.

I want to have the energy to dance again, to run again. I want to experience vitality in my body. It’s been such a long and hard process. I’ve helped thousands of people but I want it for myself too. I want my own family.”

What are your desires? God wants to fulfill them.

You May have been a long and difficult wilderness of delayed desires but God wants to give you what you want. You might be asking why you had to go through all of that but He is saying “now you can contain it- what true power looks like”.

You can not contain God’s power without being a vessel emptied of fear, shame, self hate, condemnation and guilt.

You were a slave; now you are free.

Only a free man/woman can love without manipulating the family God brings to him/her.

Only a free man/woman can have riches and not be a slave to it.

Only a person who knows they are children of God can have worldly success and not allow the fame and worldly power get to his/her head.

Only a person who has gone through the fire can he/she resist the temptations that the next level presents to him/her.

God built you in the fire because otherwise you’d be knocked down by the devil right when God brings your husband, the money, or the family.

God knows the devil will try to destroy your reputation when the fame comes. He knows you couldn’t withstand the accusations back then, but now you know who you are in Christ Jesus. He knew you were ashamed to be called Christian back then, but now you only preach Jesus crucified and resurrected.

The devil could have wiped you out with one accusation from your family, you would’ve been talking about it for one month, maybe a year.

But now you know who you are in Christ Jesus. You know not to get caught up in the devil’s trap. You won’t allow your mouth to speak negatively.

Back then, the devil brought good looking men/women to you and it was easy to sidetrack you. You were easily seduced by flattery and a sign of wealth but now you know a wolf from a true sheep and follower of Jesus.

I’ve met enough wolves to know what a true man of God looks like now!

One look, one sentence, I can tell what a man’s heart is after!

A man after God’s heart may not have luxury cars but they have a heart that will follow God at all costs.

Back then you were so broken you spent your whole paycheck on binge drinking. Now you’ve learned to sow into God’s kingdom and to treat yourself well without needing to hurt your body.

Now you know you are worthy because Jesus paid the price for the blessings so I decree and declare –

You will have what you want! Because your number one delight will always be Jesus Christ!

You will never leave your first love even if the blessings come!

So I prophesy all the things you want rain down! The family, the friends, the finances, success in your business, etc.

This time you will not leave Jesus out.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”.

I gave everything up to follow Jesus and in return, He has brought incredible kingdom minded friends. People sowed and continue to sow into this kingdom work of bringing Jesus to the nations. Even though it has been really difficult at times, I know in my weakness His strength is made perfect.

These times strengthen my faith.

God is a good Father and even when we don’t understand it, His desire is to bring us to a wholeness that can contain what He desires for us.

A broken vessel allows the fragrance of Jesus to seep through to others.

You need to be broken to have a genuine love for people. I love homeless people on another level because I understand how it feels to go without. I love the hurting because I know how it feels to hurt. I love the wounded because I’ve been wounded.

God is calling us out of the past and into the new season.

Will you grab His hand and walk forward? The new door is open for you! Don’t look back anymore!

The fire and wilderness trained you to see the real from the fake. I’ve battled spirits of witchcraft, accusation and intimidation. I can spot a guilt trip from a mile away. I can sense danger and an angry spirit. I know when to engage and when to walk away.

I know when someone’s ready for help or when they are sent by the devil to distract me!! I know what false responsibility feels and looks like!

I know how much to help someone and when I need to set boundaries. I’ve trained my whole life! Ever since I was born into a broken home, ever since I saw divorce in my family, a mother who became unforgiving and bitter, I know what holding onto a grudge results in!

I know I used to carry false responsibilities thinking they were mine to carry! I know my worth now!

I know what the religious spirit and obligation looks like! I know what guilt feels like! I know the difference between “should” and “want”! God wants us to live in want! Not should’s!

I’ve been set free from the bondage of religion and into true sonship with Jesus, an intimate relationship not based on works but grace!

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Walking By Faith, Not Sight

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Writing from Nelson, New Zealand

Another day of following the Holy Spirit with my bag and suitcase.

Not comfortable. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and just went to pray, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t have enough for a hostel the next day and today the Lord said “It’s time to move on”. I prayed for a few people and told my testimony to an English guy.

Dying to myself is so hard.

I want to be comfortable, I want to have the security of finances, but I have to trust God alone. 

R represents me, G is God.

R- I’m scared that you will leave or abandon me. I can just imagine the worse case scenario, me lying on the street.

G- Trust me. I am leading you to the lost sheep. My ways are not your ways. I know you want to know how it’s going to happen, but my ways are not your ways.

R- Why me?

G- Because you are willing.

R- But it’s difficult.

G- In your weakness my strength is made perfect.

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

R- I tried everything didn’t I? I tried to fundraise, I tried couchsurfing. But your ways are not mine, so though my heart is unwilling, I submit to your ways.

G- Flow with my Spirit. I know that you want to run away, like Jonah. But you’re choosing to stay. Remember when you watched “Married At First Sight”? You have a choice to STAY OR LEAVE…yet every time you’re choosing to STAY. You’re choosing the safe path of following me. Though everyone else may think this is the unsafe and unsecure path, you are choosing the only path that matters, the path of life, the path of the Kingdom, my path.

This all makes sense now. Before I left Los Angeles to follow Jesus in search of lost sheep, to share Jesus with people….I kept having dreams about getting married.

I had dreams that I was wearing a wedding dress and getting ready on an airplane.

This was saying “Yes” the the Ring, the dress, the commitment to God. This was believing that God had the best intention for me, that His heart is love for me.

That as a husband, God will never leave nor forsake me.

So I’m not alone, though I may feel that everyone else has abandoned me. 

I am so thankful for the people that continue to pray and support me on this journey, but nothing compares to the presence of God. People are not constantly next to me to root me on. People are not there 24 hours to pray with me. Sometimes I feel like I really can’t go on anymore, I feel petrified. I have a few dollars, I don’t know what will happen but I’m choosing intimacy with God.

The Lord has just drawn me to a place of closer intimacy with His heart. 

G- I will do and go anywhere for one person, will you do that? Will you pour out your life for the sake of one?

R- yes I do and will.

G- You are my faithful warrior. Don’t give up, be brave and bold for I am with you. 

Yesterday I prophesied over a Thai man, I saw him doing graphic design. He was shocked. He asked me how I knew as he just returned from Wellington (where he was doing graphic design)- I said Jesus showed me.

G- You’re bringing them closer to me. The revelation of who I am, love.

R- What about me Lord?

G- I will never leave nor forsake you. Be brave and move forward. Walk in my spirit. Walk forward even when you don’t know what will happen.

R- I will hold your hand even when my heart is fearful. I will hold your hand into the dark, as you are my light.

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Give to the work of the Kingdom, to saving souls and changing lives. Thank you so much for your continual support.

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The Only Anguish In My Heart

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Another Christian I met in Singapore hostel, we prayed for the country and sang to Jesus together.

The only anguish in my heart is for those that don’t know Jesus.

Today I found myself praying and crying to the Lord. God I pray that people will see the undying love of Christ and come to you.

It can be discouraging when you offer to pray for someone and they straight up say “no we don’t believe”.

Belief is a powerful thing. I sat there in the pool watching them as they silently sat reading their books. Though it seemed like a peaceful villa (I felt led to go there even though it wasn’t where I was staying but you are welcome to go and buy a drink), it seemed ominously quiet.

I thought about how sometimes when we don’t want interference, interruptions, noise, we are actually afraid to open our hearts to something new, maybe love, maybe an undying love named Jesus.

Sometimes we’d rather sit in brokenness than allow love to seep into our hearts. 

Sometimes we’d rather stay wounded than allow healing to occur.

Sometimes we’d rather run to distraction than allow ourselves to face the pain we’ve ignored for most of our lives. 

Even in the partying or celebrations our hearts could be broken.

So I sang out to Jesus- God bring them closer to your heart, bring them closer, bring them home.

The anguish in my heart is feeling like I’ve no control over how people react or how close they are to Jesus. I cannot force someone to see Jesus with their hearts, I cannot force someone to open their hearts.

Sometimes people are open and happy for some prayer, blessing and prophetic word about their life. Sometimes people wave their hand and say “no I don’t believe”. Sometimes they are so wounded they can’t see that true love exists, that betrayal sat too deeply in their memories to be forgiven.

I don’t feel rejected when they say no. I feel pain.

I feel pain that they are looking at the answer, but they are not willing to accept it. 

God has broken my heart for what breaks His. My only anguish is seeing a world full of people in despair and not seeing the One who can deliver them.

I am a drink offering being poured out everyday and I am praying everyday Lord bring them closer to you.

This night the Lord told me to knock on a young man’s door and pray for him. He is staying at the same hostel but in a private room. I wasn’t sure if it was his door but he opened. I said I was leaving tomorrow but that I wanted to pray for him and he said that he is not religious and turned away his face. I said, “okay, Jesus loves you”.

God break off the numbness in our hearts that prevent us from receiving your love. Your love is so amazing, it is wonderful, it is indescribable. You died on the cross for us and you thought of everyone of us. Your love captivates my heart. Your love is the only love worth living for. You healed my heart and I am longing for all people to know this love, this love that gives me rest and comfort. I pray this in Jesus name.

I am reminded of the story of Hosea. He married a harlot and the harlot, instead of wanting to be loved by one man,  went back to her old ways and lived a life of prostitution. Yet, Hosea waited for her. 

I am reminded that God waits for us and His love has no bounds. He continues to knock on our doors without asking for anything in return.

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you.

Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world. 

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You Don’t Need Anyone Else’s Acceptance To Do What The Lord Has Called You To

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Testimonies and Updates from Singapore 
Prophetic Dreams, Word and PRAYER

I am looking for a few people to sow for the next place God is calling me to. I am heading to Indonesia on January 25.

Any amounts are a huge help. And you are sowing into souls.

Sow into the kingdom-

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