If I had orange hair

On February 23, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

LOOK AT THE FAB 3 STOOGES, BEATLES WIG I FOUND IN MY MOM’s ROOM. AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA.

My intrigue with wigs have officially begun.

Who said Kewpie doesn’t eat Pho? Today’s pho at Pho 76 on Garfield was freaking bomb. Plus I had a 20% coupon. Then Chelsea and I ate Bin Bin Conjac on Valley. Good stuff. Gotta eat less cuz I got Pilates tomorrow.

Been putting off the essay…TODAY I BURNED MY FIRST CD EVER! Because, I kept thinking it was illegal. But since I’m listening to it myself, it won’t matter since it’s my own property from my itunes.

I was writing the song titles down: Together it would look like this, which I found hilarious

Doo Wop. Imma Be. I Got a Feeling. Missing You. Breath On Glass. Cigarette. First of the Gang to Die. Stay Gold. Heartbreaker. Step Back. I Stay in Love. Love Comes. (Some Alicia Keyes song). Thanx 4 Nothin. This One. So You Can Cry. Bleeding Love.

On a side note, I haven’t been driving my car since my car is roofless, of course the fabricky part is still there, but the metal part flew off on the freeway. Apparently, I was driving too fast. It’s $150 to replace that metal. So I’m going to wait for the weather to be sunny…

Now

On February 22, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Now.

People. People are those that stay by you and leave. Balloons that sway one direction and the next thing you know, gone, into the air. Onto another land.

Now. Is the time.

A year ago we prayed that God would use us to touch peoples’ lives. You are only a phone call away. I, am leaving this familiar terrain. We keep wishing. Wishing. Wish we do, pray we do. Then, all of a sudden, our lives are changed overnight. And then we almost wish that we didn’t wish. Because wishing sometimes leads to reality. So I beg myself. Please, enjoy now.

Now. Is passing me.

Just as I write.

Now. Is when I have the ability to grasp and change my situation. Now is a gift granted that I must take, with vision of the future, imagining something bigger with the small now that is taking place. Now has everything to do with next and the future. Everything that we do now forms and molds the future that we will one day say “now” is “today”.

Crying for joy, crying for grief. Crying as though I had never cried. In front of people I never cried before. Grief has taken a hold and floodgates spreading forth. I am prouder than I know, weaker than I think, frailer than I’ll ever conceive. Standing ground, finding balance, finding stability, yet flying forth, wings renewed, stronger than I’ve ever been. Today’s the day.

Now. I think back and unbelief blinds me. Eyes a wallow, shoulders soft, chairs tipping over, people in awe galore. Dancing to the lime light when no one else dares. Laughing loud when all’s a silent. I have the right to be f*** up sometimes, inhibition freed, as though I’ve never dared to touch those emotions stored up, venting.

Now. Confiding. I never did, I never faced the emotions. Skipped over, turned around, neglected, abandoned, the child growing up. Cracks, crackles, smiles, bloated faces, why not, why, why not, why. They questioned like birds on top of a building, nodding back and forth, not knowing, questioning, always questioning…but never reaching a conclusion. I spew answers, I spew truth, and I’m the best preacher you’ve met in town, though I too, am just as lost. Just decided to answer the call, that’s all.

Now. Abide.

Pirouette Photography Shoots

On February 20, 2010February 20, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Last Friday I got to shoot with Teresa Yu Fung, a friend of mine who has kicked off her freelance career as a photographer. We shot at Burbank around the shopping centers. It was really fun experimenting with poses, clothes, and angles. Take a look at the preview shots. More to come! http://www.pirouettephotography.com/

*I made the skirt in the first photo. I’m also carrying Kewpie doll. 😉 By the way, did I mention how tiring modeling is? It is very tiring, I’m very impressed by professional models.

Credits: Photographed by Teresa Yu Fung. Wardrobe Styling by Rebekka Lien.

I write things i cannot fathom.

On February 16, 2010February 16, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Angels and demons battle to win the hearts of mankind. He has already won. For no man or woman can truly fathom how lost they are. As I walk around, I can only think amidst my solitude…observing empty selves with hard shells, empty selves with glitter on top, empty selves stabbing others with words. My heart is filled with sorrow, but sustained by true joy.

22 years. I sit, watch, observe.

Planet M. Palm trees. Riched raw. Hate. Identity, spite, bitterness, orange, red

Blood of greed, letters b, H,g J. The world walks with complacency.

I am only, 1 person.

Drunkenness. Panasonic, lights.

It is a sad, sad world. I lament, weep, and mourn.

I cry out for them, but what can 1 person do.

They are empty, limb, limp, I can’t stand, prada, pucci, prada.

1 person can do anything, the angels have chosen an observant heart, one that refuses to conform to pitiful standards, pitiful self- righteousness, pitiful minds. I am too, just another person.

“Dont be deceived, my brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created”- James 1:16-18

Size of the Moonnnnn

On February 15, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Rock Band song. Love it.

Cupcakes Sang Rock and Roll

On February 15, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Beautiful cupcakes! 🙂 Yum.

Beautiful cake.

Beautiful cupcakes made out of scrapbook paper (by Annie Wong)!

Yum Yum Yum. Too much cupcakes though. They’re so pretty and cute though. Going to Magic tomorrow, driving 3.5-4 hours with 2 other team members. Hopefully there isn’t traffic, excited to use the swimming pool at night. I haven’t swam in so long!

Soul Friends

On February 13, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

A soul friend understands you even when you are wrong.

A soul friend cries, laughs, rejoices with you, they desire for you to be the best that you can be.

They never envy your rewards, your triumphs, your successes.

Soul friends can be silent at once and not have to talk.

The time you poured your heart out and we had a good weeping session right before clubbing

while we danced, we danced away our sorrows

People stared in amazement. That’s just us, soul friends that can weep right before we dance.

I sat in the bathtub, remembering, remembering. Three blinking candles winking at me, time passes us all.

I dipped my head and held my breath, if I got up, time would have passed by 10 seconds.

Seems like years since we saw each other. The love that God has poured into our hearts is more than any I’ve seen in my lifetime.

People look at us and wonder why they don’t have the same friendship as we do. Let them envy, but let them aspire for this God-love. Friendship, real friendship is more than superficial talks, parties, drinks, studying together.

It is soul connection to the nth level and degree. It is understood empathy. It is pouring out your heart without censoring. It is shit and flowers. It is, on a sunny day, lying under a tree and falling asleep but on stormy nights driving to your house and spilling my guts til my eyes burned from crying. I sometimes wish that others could have the same soul friendship we have, one that God has blessed and flourished. Even as you sit in front of your computer, encoding and decoding til the sun rises saying good morning, I’ll be praying for you, remembering, remembering. I miss you so much and my heart aches for the times we laughed at shapes of poop, embarrassing moments behind alleys at clubs, worshipping for joy, spontaneous meetings eating at my house, dance parties, and the most- our soul talks. And that’s all I gotta say, sister. Be who God has always created you to be.

I just wasted an hour on facebook

On February 12, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Yes, I just wasted an hour on facebook looking through my past pictures. AND this, for golly, was one of the best times in my life. THIS WAS SO FUN!!! (located in Taiwan). That’s me standing up…sigh. good times. I woke up and was disappointed everyone was gone, I thought my mom had forgot about my bday. Went to eat with friend, took a midterm at school (easy), and then drove home because there was bday cake waiting for me, then went out to eat korean food with friends.

One thing I miss – being the center of attention, dancing at orange clockwork and everyone just like gawking at me. What in the world has possess this girl, she doesn’t give a beep about what others think! I miss that. Hopefully I can find some place in Asia to get my dance on for the summer.

Chinese Art Subversive

On February 11, 2010 By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized3 Comments

This is so RAD! It’s funny how when people think “chinese art”, they always think of serene waters and waterfall scenes with trees. You know, those chinese art things with calligraphy? Let me tell you, there’s a whole movement of pop and abstract artists…that can’t be told they are only chinese- they are human for crying out loud. Let artists unite the peoples of the earth!

I got a map of CHINA for my birthday, it was the sweetest and most thoughtful gift I’ve gotten so far. Seriously, looking at names of places in the world makes me drool. I can hardly fathom the exotic cultures that awaits me. Even as my friend described the dirtiness of the trains, the hot air making your face dirty, the sweat making your skin stick to fabric…almost reminds me of good and bad times in Taiwan. One time, the humid air made my asthma act up so bad that I started getting sick.

I couldn’t breathe and I was sick as a bird. Another time, this dog ran up to me. I was like, “ohhh how cute”. But then the dog started humping my leg!! My friend got a good picture of it. haha. I remember in Germany, my teammates were like SO SICK of thick bread because it had ten thousand seeds and wheat in it. It was so heavy. We were getting constipated too. In Japan, my friend and I went to a sushi bar and had this weird gooey green thing…it was nasty. But the sweets there were amazing, so was the fresh sashimi. Yum yum yum. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get internet access in China because I would love to blog about my experience. :0 happy night everyone.