The biggest breakthrough I HAD THIS WEEK was I reached my dad after 2 years of him not responding to my calls on Facebook messenger. He said some hurtful things but I decided to reach out and keep talking to him and expressed how I was hurt. Of course his response was not what I wanted to hear, but my mother WAS THE SAME WAY!
So don’t give up on communication, keep going.
I’m really making progress and I realized why I had to go on many dates….it’s because I didn’t really know how to express my feelings to men. I knew how to express myself to my brother, but growing up I didn’t feel an emotional connection with my dad.
You may feel like that too….some people have their dads but never express how they actually feel to them.
I encourage you to be courageous and breakthrough!! Your feelings are valid!
I spent 2 1/2 years trying to change someone who did eventually change but he was not changing at the rate that I was. He was an alcoholic he was a chain smoker and a pot head. Instead of talking about his feelings he got panic attacks and so I would have to take him to the hospital. He was emotionally unavailable and was unable to talk about his feelings. I felt shut out and that my emotions were not valid because he was not willing to hear them out. I was so comfortable with him even being emotionally absent and sometimes disappearing for 2 to 3 days that I would rather stay then leave Even though my heart was breaking every single day.
Eventually I had to choose myself. I made a recording of myself crying and apologizing to myself for turning my back on me. I changed so much for him That I no longer knew who I was. It was a really difficult cycle to break but I stood up for myself and broke off the relationship.
I cut him out cold turkey and completely blocked him on all social media. After six years I was able to tell him how I actually felt. Now I practice speaking up for myself right away. If something bothers me I told someone right away. Even if it’s right after the date. If I don’t see a future then I tell them.
Dating has TAUGHT ME THAT SPEAKING UP IS A PRACTICE! The more you get to know people the more you learn what you like and don’t like and the ART of speaking the truth without fear of rejection or judgement. This is what I’ve learned from meeting people and going on dates.
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It’s not your job to make sure people understand they are loved, because if they feel unworthy, you cannot change that.
I felt unworthy for a long time but God led me home to my mom. I had to go through the grueling training of telling her how I felt. If she hurt me, I told her. Instead of running from my emotions or pain, I faced it.
Slowly I started to learn that her concern for me was mostly out of love, not control even though the fear in her was annoying.
It’s not your responsibility to make people feel good about themselves if they feel like shit.
I used to blame others for the way I felt about myself. I blamed my mom and my dad, I blamed my friends. I played the victim.
But I realized that I NEED TO HAVE SELF-RESPECT.
I TEACH PEOPLE how to treat me. I learned to set boundaries. Today I told a friend that I did not feel comfortable around him when he’s drunk because I don’t feel safe, it reminds me of my alcoholic dad. It is sometimes impossible to have real conversations when someone is drunk.
I’ve felt emotionally unsafe before opening up to people while they are drunk. I set my boundaries.
I’ve really learned to tell people how I feel.
I often felt insecure when people didn’t reply or text me right away, when people didn’t affirm that they loved me. But I realized that I needed to speak up if I felt neglected.
Owning my emotions is power! Owning how I feel is loving myself. I asked a guy if he liked me, that’s how I understood how he felt. He didn’t freely express it, I had to ask. I was able to understand how he felt and say that I wasn’t interested in that way. But then I realized that I did not need to feel bad because I know God has a husband for me and God has a wife for him one day. It’s not rejection, it’s invitation to a closer step to my husband and for my friend, to his wife.
Healing comes from love and conversation, from people who can relate, from kindred spirits.
Love allows you to weep into someone’s arms. Love allows you to say that you’re hurt.
Love isn’t always a clean canvas, it needs to be revised, spoken up about, revealed, unveiled.
Love will cause you to forgive when you want to keep your heart closed.
Love is the drive but you need to let love in.
I felt love for you today and I realized that we were both in the same boat, that we could raise each other up, that’s what love is. I felt love for you and I could understand your pain. I know it’s trauma bonding but I also know when to release you, that’s what love is.
You are not incapable, less than. You are worthy of love. And so love allows you to fly. Since your growth may hurt me, since your transformation may take time, I am allowing you to fly free and be the person you are now. Instead of putting you in a cage and telling you to be something you’re not.
And you’re not my husband either, so I need to move on, move on and find the one God made for me. We are all healing together and it’s not easy, but if we let love in, we’ll experience true love.
I learned something new today, that love sometimes doesn’t make sense, that we heal from our wounds by loving others and allow that love to seep in.
You’re an amazing human being and you know it. Keep opening your heart to God and love, to others and new people. I am not the only one that will understand you, I am not your only friend, there are others just like me. I send you off with love and know that I will always be here somehow.
People have ears to hear and eyes to see but they’ve been blinded.
Yesterday the Lord brought me to a Lyft driver. I immediately knew he was Christian when I got in the car and I asked if he is. He was suprised and weirded out that I asked him that, but sure enough he was.
I can tell if they are, if they believe in Jesus or grew up Catholic, Christian. We talked for awhile and initially the Lord said to go rent a car, which was basically to go up this street in Pasadena. When we got there his interest was piqued. I asked if he wanted to go eat.
He was really surprised and said yes. He asked me more about the prophetic and I answered. He said that it was the first time he felt the Holy Spirit in a long time, this morning. He even woke up and listened to worship music. He hadn’t felt it in a long time and he had been praying for God to show him someone who is actually serving outside of the church, doing something.
I told him about how I would listen to God’s voice and meet tons of lost sheep or people to prophesy to.
He asked how I knew it was God, I said it was obvious I would meet the people God wanted me to meet, just as I met him.
The truth is, unfortunately, people follow their fears more than God.
I try to keep my heart open every day. But I’ve been crying everyday because I feel the grief on people, I feel their pain. Sometimes people act out and I don’t know how to take it.
I pray for the scales to be lifted it off.
He had been really hurt by the church. He tried to get a job as a youth pastor but they chose someone else since he was single. He told me he hadn’t seen his dad for 15 years, he was back in Africa. I prophesied to him that he needed to go home.
Later at night the Lord told me to go to Pasadena to see someone who was at a treatment center for Meth. He couldn’t come out because he’d be kicked out but I felt led to go to Target.
At the parking lot I met a guy with his kid. I asked for his instagram and read he was in prison for 10 years. He was locked up for firearms and shooting someone in the foot. He was also Christian.
May the Lord open your eyes and our eyes to His reality. I finally cried again at night because I felt the emotions of trying to reconcile with people but realizing that not everyone is meant to be in your life. I accepted that reality and realized that I needed to continue moving forward and prophesying as the Lord led me to- to receptive ears.
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God has delivered me from fear! SO MUCH FEAR. Fear of confrontation. Fear of everything. To the point that I am not afraid to talk to strangers and I’m not afraid to tell someone if they hurt me.
I’ve been breaking through so much. I’ve confronted every hurt in my heart, even approaching people that hurt me from 10 years ago. When I’ve told people how I felt, of course some response is like you’re too sensitive.
But when I confronted 3 Argentinians who mockingly said “china” to me, I started crying and told them I was hurt, they apologized and started opening up to me about their hurts. Yesterday I confronted my friend’s mom about feeling judged. It was a family gathering and I asked to speak to her privately. We had a long talk. She admitted that she felt like I dressed provocatively. She said that she only cared about me. I think it’s hard to believe that someone cares about me because I always saw care as a form of control.
How I follow the Spirit. I was on the plane and noticed a girl with a cute outfit so I commented on it and asked if I could sit next to her. Who knew the conversation would lead to crying and hugs. It was very healing and it turned out we had a lot in common, including having faith in God.
On the way to Mexico I heard the Lord say “talk to the girl” and she was also Christian. We talked a lot about relationships and the pressures that our parents give us. I told her she is enough in Christ Jesus.
I felt the Lord tell me to go to a specific airbnb and when I got there and went out, I heard go back to the room. There I met 3 argentinians and one of them was an actor.
I was really impressed by his work and asked for his autograph. He said he also grew up Catholic. One of his friends kind of made a joke about me being Chinese and the girl made me feel like I was outcasted. The Lord told me to tell them how I felt.
I walked over and said that I felt hurt by the way they were treating me. I was scared but I did it. They apologized, I had tears streaming down my face. I cried in front of 3 strangers who then welcomed me and started opening up to me. One of them said he had a daughter in Argentina and also grew up Christian. One of them said when they first went to Mexico they felt really alone and would get drunk and cry.
I realized that vulnerability helps others to open up and it’s powerful.
I was on the bus and the Lord told me to talk to someone. However there was a kid next to the man. I asked the father if I could switch seats with the son and he said “no” 2 times. God suddenly made a way by having the girl in front of me move to her right so I asked to sit next to her. Well, we ended up talking a lot.
Suddenly the mother and son switched seats and I google translated “God told me to sit here, can I switch seats with you?” and she said okay. The guy I ended up sitting next to had been Christian for one year and had been traveling for a year but did not talk to his parents for 3 months at beginning of his trip since his parents disapproved of it. The Lord said to me “ask him to go home”. I told him but he said he didn’t want to. I shared with him my testimony and story.
I need your HELP to continue reaching lost sheep. Would you consider sowing into the ministry of breaking off fear and bringing people into community, into God’s grace and love? Thank you for your prayers and support.
I am also looking for monthly supporters, right now I don’t have any!
Yesterday someone said “it’s nice to just get to know someone without an ulterior motive” (referring to trying to get sex).
The amount of men that have written me on dating apps “sorry I didn’t read your bio but that’s not what I’m looking for” is astounding. Some online dating apps can basically be meat markets but God will lead the right ones to me, meaning the ones who actually still have a soul and heart. They are curious about a life higher than satisfying their flesh. I get to educate them about emotional maturity, connection and their identity as a child of God.
“You deserve the world”- I heard God say.
I’ve had guys guilt trip me about how far they had to drive to pick me.up. I grew up in a culture where hook up culture is normal and where girls drive to guys, where girls go over like a hooker, giving a guy what they want, flesh and body, no soul, no heart. I grew up in a culture where not only men are looking for instant gratification, but women are too. In fact men tell me there are not many women looking for relationships.
But I promise you- THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE WHO STILL WANT LOVE.
I KNOW THEM, a lot of them!
I had to overcome guilt trips where men didn’t know my worth and tried to guilt trip me about the effort they need to put in. I know how it feels like to be treated right, but it took a long time to understand and I’m glad I am waiting for marriage.
IF I didn’t wait until marriage, I don’t think I know how it feels to be treated like a princess.
I had to develop in emotional maturity to spot emotional maturity. I had to learn to confront people with hard truths myself to see if a male is able to do so. I thought I was ready for marriage but God had to fine tune me, teach me, train me through dating, through learning to confront the hard things.
I had to learn to express myself and cry in front of others, I had to express my needs and desires without apology.
Sex is such an instant gratification that men and women don’t develop how to communicate with each other first if they don’t build on the basis of love and communication. You do not need to communicate for sex, especially if you are self serving. I pray for our generation that our youth will understand the importance of communication and love.
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The only thing I remember about my dad was that 6 pack of beer. The last I saw him was 1.5 years ago, the only thing he wrote me was “wear a mask”.
Conversation was not always easy.
It usually went along the lines of “well I think you should”…same goes as my mom.
I don’t know why I heard “write about your dad”, but I’m doing it. It’s 1:27am, I was pretty much the only person out and I have tons of energy. I’m tired but not really. I was driving around my mom’s car and I’m hopeful, hyped. I have had a few emotional breakthroughs.
I confessed things I felt shameful about to my friends and I had really positive feedback and no judgement. I haven’t had that for a long time and I feel loved, abundant. I used to have a lot of friends, but I never spoke up for myself. I let things fester, I grew bitter. I didn’t speak up about things that bothered me and today I feel like I actually have honest friends.
I hate it when people tell me what to do.
I don’t really want advice, I just want them to say “I’m here for you”.
I have a really strong personality, I cussed someone out on YouTube this morning, cried about feeling unloved, and well, every person I’ve met is a reflection of myself right now.
I met a confidante through an uber driver, he set me up on a date, now he is a great friend. I met someone at a recall newsome petition site, not on purpose but I was drawn to him. Seemed like we have much in common. I reconnected with a friend from high school who apparently took photos of me at prom. She said she had no friends really…I cried when I realized that she liked me as a friend.
It’s been a lot of healing and learning what it means to be loved.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is that love is not afraid to tell the truth, love is not ashamed or guilty, love covers all things. Love is able to speak truth. In love.
Love embraces you even when you feel ashamed or guilty, or when you tell your deepest and darkest secrets.
I’ve crossed physical boundaries with guys and that’s been my place of shame and guilt. I’ve managed to wait 32 years to have sex but the wait seems to be getting harder. When I reveal that I’ve crossed my boundaries again, I expect that people will judge me or tell me they no longer want to be my friend, but I haven’t experienced that.
I guess maybe my soul wants to be one with someone. I guess it’s time that I get married.
I FEEL LOVED. I actually have friends that I’m completely honest with and it feels amazing!
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Why am I attracted to guys who are not possible, or available?
Or scared of their emotions.
As I continue to venture forth and feel my emotions, express them, I’m starting to meet people who are present and loving, and able to discuss emotions, but it’s still scary.
I feel exposed, vulnerable.
And telling the truth isn’t always easy. Because you may lose people from telling your truth.
I called my friend from college this morning and she said she’s getting married in a few days. She told me she met her fiance on Bumble, I was excited to hear this. She also went on quite a few dates on Tinder.
This was a confirmation from God that I’m “almost there”. This upheaval (a prophetic word I got from another prophet) has been strenuous at times. I’ve had to turn down men, and then felt a lot of guilt about it….then had to realize it’s not my job to comfort them. I’ve had to break cycles of codependency where someone I was no longer seeing kept asking to see me when he was depressed- I realized that it was NOT MY JOB TO COMFORT HIM OR CHEER HIM UP!Because my feelings were still involved the wisest thing was to give him to God and trust that God would take care of him.
Plus he was lying to me anyways. He was actually actively sleeping with a girl but why did he confess that he still had feelings for me?
Then it’s understanding why I am attracted to certain people and why sometimes these thoughts of “he’s boring” pops into my mind. I think I get bored when I don’t feel emotions from them…when they don’t express emotions to me. I get bored that way.
I’ve probably cried in front of multiple men in the last week. It’s pretty shocking to most men how easily I cry but I see it as like “God sent me to them to show them emotions” because they’re so emotionally blocked.
My friend wrote the apps she’s on so I decided to share the apps I’m on-
I’m starting to understand myself a lot better and accept myself as how God created me.
I’m a prophet who also pastors lost sheep.
I flow the best when there is no one trying to control me or tell me what to do. I am led by the Spirit in me and my heart. I can feel peoples’ hearts. Control comes from fear so where the Spirit of the Lord there is freedom. Freedom is in direct opposition from fear.
I don’t deal well when there is
manipulation
control
fear
Guilt/shame
Some people are so used to those 4 that they won’t even recognize when they’re being influenced by a spirit of fear.
I love telling stories about following the Holy Spirit to lost sheep.
My heart gets tight when I am being quit tripped or shamed, I can feel physical manifestation of false responsibility= there will suddenly be a weight on my shoulder and my shoulder will start to ache.
If you often feel weight on your shoulders, it is false responsibility. You feel like you are responsible for someone or something that is not yours to carry. Pray to God – “I cast out this false responsibility to you and I denounce it. I am not responsible for his/her feelings or lives”.
I don’t do well with mundane facts, I don’t care.
I am a heart led person so my is to be led to lost sheep. My job is to set people free, so I prophesy into their lives and often leave. People do often come to me for advice but it’s also vital to note that I am not a therapist so I am not repsonsible to hear everyone’s problems.
I fix a “spiritual tire” by delivering solutions but often times people want to put burdens on me. They want to weigh me down with their problems.
People tell me I have to be more patient but my gifting is actually to catapult people and the quicker I can do it the better. Because most people are stuck and they don’t want to change so God sends me to people for a quick launch.
I don’t like to be bored.
Flowing with the Holy Spirit is NEVER BORING! When I am bored I can tell I am skimming the surface with someone and need to go deeper. Or sometimes it means I need to keep moving.
I am very emotional. I can feel peoples’ emotions. I cry and can feel their emotions. Which also means I have to pray often so I don’t carry peoples’ baggage home.
There is not ONE DAY that I experience the same things. I meet new people everyday and they are usually people who have been outcasted and rejected by their parents, society or the church. Some people find my life crazy, chaotic, sporadic.
I have rushed to the train station in a minute’s notice and have bought many flights at the airport. I have woken up with a word from God, instructions to go somewhere, packed a few underwear and called an uber to the airport.
I feel stagnant when I am submitting to fear. I feel refreshed, rejuvenated when I listen to God and go where He leads me.
I love telling my life story to people. I love to have fun and dance, create.
I don’t necessarily have to prove anything or do anything with people. I love adventures and having fun. Having fun is where I thrive best. Joy is the fruit of the Spirit, so if there is no joy I am probably allowing false responsibility take over.
God has been calling me to go to Alaska- if you feel a burden to reach out to lost sheep or help this ministry, please consider giving below. May the Lord bless and multiply your giving. God bless you!
Consider giving to this ministry of reaching lost sheep-
Rebekka Lien 