It’s not your job to make sure people understand they are loved, because if they feel unworthy, you cannot change that.
I felt unworthy for a long time but God led me home to my mom. I had to go through the grueling training of telling her how I felt. If she hurt me, I told her. Instead of running from my emotions or pain, I faced it.
Slowly I started to learn that her concern for me was mostly out of love, not control even though the fear in her was annoying.
It’s not your responsibility to make people feel good about themselves if they feel like shit.
I used to blame others for the way I felt about myself. I blamed my mom and my dad, I blamed my friends. I played the victim.
But I realized that I NEED TO HAVE SELF-RESPECT.
I TEACH PEOPLE how to treat me. I learned to set boundaries. Today I told a friend that I did not feel comfortable around him when he’s drunk because I don’t feel safe, it reminds me of my alcoholic dad. It is sometimes impossible to have real conversations when someone is drunk.
I’ve felt emotionally unsafe before opening up to people while they are drunk. I set my boundaries.
I’ve really learned to tell people how I feel.
I often felt insecure when people didn’t reply or text me right away, when people didn’t affirm that they loved me. But I realized that I needed to speak up if I felt neglected.
Owning my emotions is power! Owning how I feel is loving myself. I asked a guy if he liked me, that’s how I understood how he felt. He didn’t freely express it, I had to ask. I was able to understand how he felt and say that I wasn’t interested in that way. But then I realized that I did not need to feel bad because I know God has a husband for me and God has a wife for him one day. It’s not rejection, it’s invitation to a closer step to my husband and for my friend, to his wife.
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Rebekka Lien 