Category: lawofattraction

A Queen/King Honors Her Emotions & Boundaries

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, culture, dream, entrepreneur, faith, food, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifecoach, love, prophetic word, psychology, relationship, self-help, spirituality, therapy, travel, writer

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One of the worse things I experienced in life was having a trusted person betray me. It wasn’t that she did anything wrong, she said something really wrong. She dishonored my emotions (and me) during a time when I was going through a really hard time which was caused by one of her family members.

I had a dream where God showed me why I was feeling so shut down.

She belittled the hurt.

And I think that’s why it’s so important we allow children to cry and express anger, hurt. EMOTIONS ARE IMPORTANT. They tell us that our boundaries have been crossed. 

I didn’t think it – but subconsciously, I felt helpless. I felt that even my best friend was against me since she of course sided with her family. The people around me felt like I was being melodramatic and I didn’t know how to describe the hurt and the betrayal.

I felt alone and helpless. I felt angry and betrayed.

After that, I subconsciously shut down my emotions because people didn’t understand them anyways, because it didn’t get anything done, because the person closest to me brushed it aside.

It’s okay, I don’t need to be understood.

During that time I found my true friend, someone who really honored my emotions and could also tell me the truth.

But my heart felt cold and frosty for a long time.

That’s why when my heart suddenly started to melt, it was painful. I can feel the pain now, I can feel now.

“I was dishonored, disgraced, humiliated for your sake”- says the Lord. “I know how that feels, betrayal”. 

When I started to shut down my emotions, I started to sometimes under eat or over eat. I didn’t know when I was full or sometimes hungry. I was so detached from my emotions that I couldn’t even understand what my body was telling me.

I learned that I escaped painful emotions by eating sweets. 

I learned that I used logic and my mind to figure out what wasn’t working instead of going through experiencing the emotions. 

Yesterday this mentally unstable lady on the street demanded I give her my water and I did, at first out of good will, but then got angry at her for taking my water because I was really thirsty.

I forgave her in my heart but decided not to randomly give my water away. She could have gone to in and out to get water. I turned around and saw she had dumped the water on a bench. Next time I will speak loudly for myself. No.

I’ve been watching “The Return of Superman”, a Korean show about dads raising their kids and what I started noticing is that kids are raised to share because it’s a “kind thing to do”.

But kids are rarely taught boundaries.

I was not taught boundaries. I felt like things were easily taken from me, things I loved. In this way, I did not know how to protect and keep things I loved. I allowed people to step over me and didn’t know how to speak up for myself because this was illustrated to me in my family.

I was even taught this in church. Sacrifice.

But no one taught me that because Jesus already became the sacrifice that I didn’t need to be the sacrifice in my life. I didn’t need to be crucified everyday. 

I don’t think martyrdom is what Jesus wanted.

I think He wanted us to know what He died for us to have, to be, to live. 

I think we are in an age where we need to know who we are and push back the darkness that surrounds us. We can’t just take it. That’s not okay. 

We need to stand up and speak up. We need to rise and protect our boundaries.

People tell me that I’m so bold and self-loving. 

But that wasn’t always the case. I was the quiet, obedient Asian girl that people expected me to be. Now when I shout, the whole building can hear me. 

It’s because I know who I am and what I deserve now.

A queen seated on high.

 

There Is Nothing To Do, Nowhere To Be

On By Rebekka LienIn christianity, dream, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, lifecoach, love, philosophy, prophetic word, psychology, relationship, self-help, spirituality, travel, writer

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The last week I have been wrestling with a feeling of restlessness. You know when you plan charts and goals in your mind but instead God says “rest”. Most people think resting is easy, but actually it’s really difficult. Sometimes you compare yourself, you see celebrities and insta-famous people “progressing” and you think to yourself “what am I doing?” as if your life is measured by fame and money.

Resting is difficult because society drills “you’re not there yet, you’re not enough” into your mind. It’s everywhere, this message.

This message is the voice of the slave master, the devil himself.

But God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

The slave master has entered the minds of spiritual people too by telling them to go to yoga everyday, and if not, they can’t enter rest. The slave master has told people of faith to serve like slaves at churches or temples, to the point of exhaustion….I was there once, when I was a teenager. I would go to church at 7am, “do worship practice”, teach sunday school at 9am, lead worship at 11am, then I had youth group leader leadership meeting sometimes until 5pm.

This slave mentality took me through my time in the fashion industry, into entrepreneurship, but finally, God set me free.

He taught me how to be a child again.

Up until then, I defined my worth by how much I could accomplish. Growing up in a single parent home made me want to achieve more, somehow I needed to prove myself and help my family. If I could become someone or something, then I would be worth loving. 

This slave mentally has the whole world bound.

Most Christians don’t even understand the Gospel because it is attached with “and make sure you serve at church”. 

Not everyone is called to serve at church. Not everyone is called to serve yogurt at snack time.

If the Gospel means Jesus has freed you 100% and totally, you are a free person. You don’t need to do anything out of obligation, if it’s not desired in your heart, it’s not from God because God wouldn’t force you to do anything.

“Well, I should want to feed the homeless right?”

No, because God does not give the same desires to everyone. Maybe you are called to write music because it will heal souls. There is no better way or prescribed path for everyone.

I personally love traveling but I realize that traveling is often a way for me to feel like a free person, that anything is possible….that I am not bound by time, money, or location.

But I can feel free now by realizing that “there is nothing to do, nowhere to be”- why?

Because Jesus paid it all.

It is finished.

There is nothing to do because it is finished. I am complete. I am not lacking, I am whole in Christ Jesus. When God sees me, I’m not a work in progress, I’m righteous and whole.

There is nowhere to be because going there wouldn’t make me more whole or complete, I am complete now. 

It has taken me 30 years of my life to truly grasp this.

I received Jesus into my heart when I was 12, but I grew up going to church. Now, I realize most of what I saw was just a bunch of people trying to please God not knowing that God already accepted them via Jesus’ finished work on the cross. 

This slave mentality exists inside and outside the church. It is a prominent culture in America.

This message of “you’re not enough” will lead to death.

The message of “you are enough because Jesus redeemed you” will lead to life. This message of grace will liberate you and break the chains of slavery that torments your mind.

If you don’t live by grace, you will work and create out of lack and lack is just exhausting. Living out of “you’re not enough” will suck you dry.

When you rest in God, you are drawing out of eternal abundance. There is never a lack of supply.

I pray that these words will set your soul free.

 

Feeling Unqualified and Insecure? It’s Jesus Who Qualifies You.

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, spirituality, writer

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Lately the attacks have been so real that a live person came to accuse me. This revelation transformed me, I feel God elevating us to a new level of identity! Praise God!

YOU ARE QUALIFIED BY JESUS HIMSELF! NOT by your own credentials, resume, education, works, looks, genes, DNA or family background. GOD’s POWER SURPASSES ALL THAT! ALLOW HOLY SPIRIT to REIGN and FLOURISH through you!

 

Overcoming Oppression

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, God, healing, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, spirituality, therapy, Uncategorized, writer

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I have been having intense dreams in the last 3 nights, where I’m casting out demons people couldn’t see. I had migraines and was fighting battles. I considered whether I should write this post as I didn’t want to put fear in peoples’ hearts but I felt like God wanted to shed light on oppression.

Maybe 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have been this sensitive spiritually, but now I am 100 percent spiritually sensitive. 

I am SO sensitive in my spirit that I walked out of a movie midway yesterday and I have never done that before.

I started to feel a migraine coming on. It was a Chinese war movie….and in the natural, it really didn’t have a plot, it was just a lot of guns and blood. But then after I walked out, I realized that I have never really seen a lot of Chinese movie that didn’t have the theme of regret and fear in it (like all encompassing, not just part of the movie).

Basically I could feel the spirit of death.

And during the night I was attacked. I know that the enemy is trying hard to attack people in this season of promotion so I took that to heart, but any attack is annoying. So I was casting out things in the middle of the night and quoting scripture, etc.

LOL. I know, I make it sound so normal. It’s just annoying, it doesn’t scare me anymore even though nightmares can be frightening. I know Jesus has already overcome.

So here’s a prayer for everyone who is going through attacks, fears, doubts.

Dear God, thank you For your SON JESUS dying on the cross for us, you took all our fears and doubts on the cross, we can now feel relieved knowing we are SAFE.

I cast out any false spirits and demonic strongholds that are trying to HURT or WOUND YOUR PEOPLE! I kick out any foxes that are deceiving our minds or putting lies in our head. I pray for the Peace NOT of this world but of Jesus. I cast out the spirit of python that is choking the life out of your people.

Jesus, help us to cast all our cares on you and to come to you with our tears and fears.

I pray this Jesus name, Amen.

BECAUSE OF WHAT GOD IS GOING TO DO AS WRITTEN IN MY PREVIOUS POST, THE ENEMY is trying to DISCOURAGE YOU. Cast your cares on Jesus, He cares for you.

If the enemy tries to guilt trip or shame you remember “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there IS NOW NO CONDEMNATION for those that are in Christ Jesus”.

Prophetic Word: “God Hasn’t Forgotten You – Your Life Is Going To Explode”

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, relationship, Relationships, spirituality, travel, writer

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I don’t know who this is for but like me you may have gone through the wilderness of waiting and becoming….and hope deferred sometimes makes the heart sick…and maybe in the process you became angry and upset, you stopped hoping or dreaming, you saw other people flourish and you asked God “how about me?”

And maybe these people who were flourishing didn’t even know God, maybe they cheated others and had evil intent….they look like they are flourishing in the world, but are they really? No. God be the judge of things, but when you are filled with evil intent, you can’t truly be flourishing even when it looks like you are externally successful.

God hasn’t forgotten you. It is coming! You dreams are coming true. You do deserve happiness. Don’t give up. “I will make sure you will bear more children (dreams) than those who have a husband (the natural, works)”. God will supernaturally work miracles that no man or woman can ever do in their own flesh or efforts. Praise God! Sing barren women. You will no longer be barren.

I have been going through a process of redeeming my desires. For so long, I felt like I had to deny my desires. In the waiting season, I had to wait and just be with God. Though it was wonderful and healing, I felt a part of my heart develop some anger. I wanted the waiting to be over and I was angry that I had to wait that long. 

How come other people get to just get on with their lives? They don’t seem that dysfunctional God.

Don’t compare your process.

It’s time to let go of what you thought it should have looked like, it’s time to let go of the anger and the bitterness, it’s time to let go of expectations….because the the truth is GOD IS ABOUT TO WORK MIRACLES IN YOUR LIFE and NO MEN OR WOMEN will be ABLE TO TAKE CREDIT.

That is what He wanted all along, to DO MUCH MORE than you can with your earthly mind or hands. 

Yes, others have “flourished” externally with their own efforts, but what God is about to do doesn’t require any effort because it’s based on HIS LOVING GRACE TOWARDS YOU. HE WAS SAVING YOU ENERGY AND TIME because HE IS THAT GRACIOUS! 

Your life is about to explode. You just need to believe that you deserve it. You just need to allow your heart to receive.

This is my verse for the year. I believe that God wants to BE GLORIFIED in your life and that’s why HE IS GOING TO SHOW UP IN THE BIG WAY for those that BELIEVE in HIS ALL ENCOMPASSING GRACE. Then we will point to GOD, HE DID IT!

Isaiah 54 The Message (MSG)

Spread Out! Think Big!

54 1-6 “Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
    Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth!
You’re ending up with far more children
    than all those childbearing women.” God says so!
“Clear lots of ground for your tents!
    Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
    drive the tent pegs deep.
You’re going to need lots of elbow room
    for your growing family.
You’re going to take over whole nations;
    you’re going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don’t be afraid—you’re not going to be embarrassed.
    Don’t hold back—you’re not going to come up short.
You’ll forget all about the humiliations of your youth,
    and the indignities of being a widow will fade from memory.
For your Maker is your bridegroom,
    his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
    known as God of the whole earth.
You were like an abandoned wife, devastated with grief,
    and God welcomed you back,
Like a woman married young
    and then left,” says your God.

7-8 Your Redeemer God says:

“I left you, but only for a moment.
    Now, with enormous compassion, I’m bringing you back.
In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you—
    but only for a moment.
It’s with lasting love
    that I’m tenderly caring for you.

9-10 “This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
    I promised then that the waters of Noah
    would never again flood the earth.
I’m promising now no more anger,
    no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
    and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won’t walk away from you,
    my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.”
    The God who has compassion on you says so.

11-17 “Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied:
    I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
Lay your foundations with sapphires,
    construct your towers with rubies,
Your gates with jewels,
    and all your walls with precious stones.
All your children will have God for their teacher—
    what a mentor for your children!
You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness,
    far from any trouble—nothing to fear!
    far from terror—it won’t even come close!
If anyone attacks you,
    don’t for a moment suppose that I sent them,
And if any should attack,
    nothing will come of it.
I create the blacksmith
    who fires up his forge
    and makes a weapon designed to kill.
I also create the destroyer—
    but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged.
Any accuser who takes you to court
    will be dismissed as a liar.
This is what God’s servants can expect.
    I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.”
        God’s Decree.

Do You Like Yourself? My Journey Of Finding Wholeness

On By Rebekka LienIn dating, dream, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, lawofattraction, lifehack, love, relationship, Relationships, solo travel, spirituality, therapy, writer

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Happy Valentine’s day.

I used to have boy crushes growing up. I had these unhealthy obsessions of male celebrities and I had quick soul ties with men. I was just boy obsessed. I didn’t grow up with my dad. My parents divorced when I was 8 and we moved to Los Angeles from Taiwan. From then on I didn’t see my dad until I was 18 years old when I went to Taiwan. He looked like a stranger, an old man. But he was related to me, but a pure stranger. 

It took several visits for me to finally forgive him and let go of my “ideal childhood”. I grew up with severe depression because I just felt sad that I didn’t grow up with my dad. This cloud over my mind and being affected every area of my life.

But I didn’t know it stemmed from hopelessness….that hopelessness of feeling unwanted, abandoned, rejected, uncherished.

I grew close to God. I would journal and talk to God, but I felt far away from Him too. Sometimes I felt like I had to achieve and perform to please Him.

It took years and years for me to see that God is pleased with me, He doesn’t need me to please Him, that’s why Jesus died on the cross for me. His love is constant and unchanging, totally unconditional and totally overflowing. 

I tried to find love in a potential boyfriend. I fell into relationships out of convenience or for the pure desire for companionship. Though our desire for companionship is God-willed…our neediness isn’t. 

Our neediness is a reflection of the God-void in our hearts.

We all desire God, but we just don’t know it.

Fast forward from my teens to now (I just turned 30 years old, the age where everyone expects that you should have everything together)….I don’t need a man.

I really don’t. I do desire marriage and a life partner but I have never felt more complete than now. 

Because throughout the last 3 years, God would whisper “you are enough”. Every time I felt like I was not enough, I was lacking, I didn’t have this or that….every time I felt inadequate or unable, every time I felt like I was gaining weight or accused….whatever it was, it would come down to “you are enough”. 

That’s why I am enough and I don’t have a need for anything or anyone else but God.

God totally and completely completes me. 

In Him I am enough. 

I am so blessed to have come to this revelation in my life. I hope that this fact of “you are enough” will open your heart to the Only One who can give you love, unconditional and everlasting.

PS- is it easy? No. It’s not always easy to stay in that knowledge when everyone around you tells you you are not enough, but that is why I have found “alone time” to be most vital. Alone time helps me recuperate from the words of family members, it gives me time to receive from God and to be loved by God even when the world around me attacks me.

The best gift I received today, from myself….is alone time. I feel like I can breathe again. Though it is nice to spend time with loved ones, alone time helps me find my heart again especially when others have their own issues to deal with.

With love, Rebekka – Hugs!

When you are enough, you can rest and be loved.

When you are enough, you don’t feel rushed to be more.

When you are enough, you grow in beauty and wisdom.

Prophetic Word: Green Light

On By Rebekka LienIn God, healing, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, spirituality, travel, writer

Traffic light on green

I heard God say “Green Light”. It’s green light time, it’s not red or yellow light, it’s green.

However, God is training up people who will respond to their intuition or the holy spirit. There are many people who have become complacent and no longer hear, they’ve become numbed by the news and only care about what people think.

In this season, you will need to be alert, you will need to jump when you hear it, you need to move with the holy spirit, you need to be one with God. You can’t doubt whether It is God, if you feel it, move. 

God showed me that there were people around me that had hidden agendas, and God told me move out of those situation. You will need kingdom minded people around you only, this is not the time to play games! 

Why? There is danger everywhere, but you need to protect your anointing, your space and become alert so that you can move with the glory of God. When there are people around you that have hidden agendas, you can’t hear clearly as it becomes excess noise. 

God is raising up sons and daughters that will follow Him even when it is OUT OF THE NORM/BOX, even if OTHER PEOPLE will condemn or accuse them because of it, even if they will be outcasted….why, because they move in IDENTITY. THEY KNOW they are the sons and daughters of God and NOTHING will shake them!

God gave me a word in December, but things have shifted since then. I felt like God was saying “it’s not time yet”. Sometimes God will prolong a season because the people that need to receive you are not READY yet. He is preparing every detail.

It is GREEN light in the spirit every single day, as you move and live, follow your gut, it is Holy Spirit speaking.

A Life With No Plan B

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, faith, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, solo travel, spirituality, travel, writer

A Life With NO Plan B

Every upgrade and levels in our life requires a TRANSITION PERIOD/SEASON. I know, most of us hate waiting. We want things instantaneously.

There are days I trust God, I can rest in His grace, I know He is able…but there are days I can’t get my mind off of what’s not happening, or on my current circumstances. When that happened this morning, I was reminded to worship. I realize I was focusing more on the circumstances instead of Jesus. 

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 

Joseph Prince said “when we start to SEE, that’s when we lose faith”, because we are SEEING with earthly eyes and not on what GOD is doing. We live by FAITH and not by SIGHT.

I’ve walked this NO PLAN B journey with God after I graduated from COLLEGE and quit my full time job. I went backpacking in Australia for 2 months, when I got back I sold jewelry, I lived the hippie life in Silverlake. I went from one LEVEL to ANOTHER.

I felt His calling, GO, and I would GO. I went to Ecuador, Brazil, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore…I went without a plan B, often times fearing that I would be stranded without financial provisions, but somehow it would work out. I would meet the people I was meant to meet.

Plan A was this, trust God, Go with GOD, and BE God’s light wherever I went. 

Was it scary, hells YES.

But each time I trusted Him to bring me through, I would see more of His love and character. God is unchanging- He will bring you through the storms of life just to show you that He is not MAN that He should lie. You are untouchable when you have God with you. 

Abraham was told to leave his father’s house and go to a land that God would show him.

Ummmm….which land? How?

That’s what we would ask, or I would ask…..but through God’s leading in the last few years I realized, I never really knew where I was going until I got to the “land” before the next “land”.

For example, I lived in Pasadena for a few years, but then He told me to sell everything and follow Him. Then He said “Hawaii”, so I went to Hawaii for 2 weeks. Then when I got back, I didn’t feel led to tell my friends and family I was back…so I was at a hotel with my one backpack, and I called my friend “I have no idea where I am going”. I was scared because even though I enjoyed my time in Hawaii, it was like Now what?

She said, “you can stay with me”.

Then I was there for a week, two weeks, a month, a few months.

Then I packed up everything again, this time Thailand was fiercely on my heart, it had been for a year. I went with $1000, with no return ticket.

This time, God would whisper a “land” after my work was done in one “land”. Vietnam, He would say. I couldn’t control anything really. But then I would meet a missionary, or a new friend, and it was like Kismet. It was encouraging when I met these divine encounters, that’s when I knew I was at the right place at the right time. I was there for them and vice versa.

Then eventually I ran out of cash, and somehow I would survive, even if it was with a credit card I didn’t know would work, I survived. Even if it was selling my tablet at some sketchy stall in Malaysia, it paid for a week of my prison cell sized room. Even if it was holy spirit arranging me to help a new bed and breakfast with social media in exchange for room and board.

But it wasn’t really about that. It was learning to TRUST GOD, to go with God and to know that God was with me. 

Are you willing to go into the unknown without a plan b?

It is scary as hell.

Truthfully, He was showing me “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you”….but more importantly….

“I’m reliable, I’m your God, I’m your best friend” and through all this I grew closer in intimacy with the creator of the world. In Bali, Indonesia, I got into a moped accident in my eagerness to be like the author of Eat, Pray, Love….I ended up spending a week in bed. I was alone and my foot felt like it was rotting. I had a hard time showering….

But who was enough for me, Jesus was.

So whatever you are going through, hold on. He is close to your heart. Reach out to the perfect God who loves you. Cry, sing, be vulnerable with Him. He will provide the rest you need.

We often try to control what we think we need in order to feel safe. That can be our income, our living situation, our career, our friendships, our relationships….but truthfully, if you have Jesus, you can be in the worse situation and feel peace. 

It’s definitely worth trying- it’s a “risky” way to live, following Jesus, but you will find out…it’s riskier to rely on the things of this world because there is no peace in it.

So what is God calling you to do? It may just be to trust Him and wait for His timing. It may be to go without knowing where. It may be something else.

A lot of people reply to my stories “omg I would never be able to do that! I would never be able to travel alone and sometimes with no money?!”

Well, I don’t know what to say, but it’s because of Jesus, just Jesus. 

The Greatest Showman & My Personal Odyssey

On By Rebekka LienIn dream, entrepreneur, faith, God, healing, health, Hollywood, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, spirituality, therapy

Yesterday I was compelled to watch The Greatest Showman. I heard the movie in my mind all day before I watched it.

Who knew it was like a personal revival in my heart. I’ll try my best not to include any spoilers. This post might make more sense if you have already watched the movie.

God breathed powerfully into this movie, into the songs, into the story. It is anointed, I know this for sure.

The arts, media, and movies are indicators and representations of our times. Whatever comes out, whether “good” or “bad” are often indicators of what is happening in our hearts and society. The arts are direct reflections of what humanity is going through, longing for and experiencing in the physical and spiritual realm.

That is why this movie was so reflective of my personal Odyssey and I believe also for many in this world.

As you know I have prophesied that we have been going through birthing pangs in our micro and macro lives but 2018 is the RELEASE of God’s fire in this world. God is releasing those who have been in HIDING (those who have been rejected as well) into the world and I am one of those. I have been in the wilderness season for over 2 years where God was building my inside, my identity. 

During that time I was accused on all ends (like the people who opposed the Barnum circus/museum).  I was not honored or appreciated….and this was also before those 2 years. I was always the outcast and never really fit in.

Like Joseph in the Bible, I experienced imprisonment, rejection by the family and the world around me. I experienced disappointment and hopelessness, losing everything, losing hope and feeling like my dreams would never come true. 

I also experienced a lost of self before the 2 years. I ran and strove after everything I thought I needed (like PT Barnum in the movie) to prove that I was enough. And it took God’s voice for me to loose my grip on everything. In this case, it was like when everything burned down for PT.

And many of you have experienced this…you’ve lost everything and you’ve questioned why. 

You used to have dreams, but the world rejected you.

You used to be proud of your ideas, but after the world laughed at you, you grew ashamed of yourself. Will anyone ever accept me? you ask.

You put your heart out there, gave it your all, but it still wasn’t enough. They left anyway, they treated you like crap.

Every song in this movie is an embodiment of these questions and the answer is “you are enough”. 

There is a moment in the movie where the bearded lady belts out a song, in fierce defiance of what the “elite” thought of her….it’s just powerful, it’s what we need in this world….people who are not ashamed of who they are, people who come out from hiding.

I could relate.

In all the hardships, dejection, rejections, and accusations throughout my life, I often questioned myself. I wondered if there was something truly wrong with me and if I would ever be celebrated for who I was.

There was a part of me that went into hiding because the world was unsafe.

I numbed my emotions and became “even keeled”. I didn’t laugh much and neither did I cry much. I was not reactive to anything that was going on around me. If someone yelled at me, I stayed silent. If someone praised me, I couldn’t really smile. My emotions were constipated. 

Numbing my emotions was my way of protecting my heart. 

That’s why before my big breakthrough, I had to cry a lot first. I had to weep. I had to really let it out.

Crying gave my heart strength. Crying said to my heart “you are worth it, I value you, I value your emotions, I value who you are”.

True strength is REALLY experiencing EVERY emotion that you heart feels.

Because the truth is, it really hurts, it’s painful….but it’s worth it.

Truly living means experiencing EVERY single emotion that life brings your way. We can’t be afraid of our emotions because joy is one of those emotions…and so is pain, disappointment, fear, etc. 

But if we are brave enough, our lives become rich.

I woke up from a dream where I was singing and I could feel the fire of God on the inside of me. I feel my spirit rising and I see the rejected coming out of hiding. 

If you are one of those, know that the hand of God is on you. 

2018 is your year. Mark my words. I have gone through too much to back down now. Though I don’t know the specifics of what 2018 holds, but I know God holds 2018.

I think it’s so interesting that Keala Settle has such a fear of stepping out in real life, because as you watch this video, you feel the strength of her stepping out. May you step out too, the world needs you.

If you have been blessed by this blog and me, consider sowing a seed as you will reap much more than you have sown in good soil. This is GOOD SOIL. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7

Sow A Seed Today

A Blog Post For Children of Divorce

On By Rebekka LienIn coach, culture, faith, forgiveness, God, healing, health, lawofattraction, love, prophetic word, Relationships, self-help, spirituality, therapy, writer

Divorce is awful to the people who divorce, but even worse for the children.

We are the invisible children who often suffer in darkness. 

But Asian culture makes it about invalidating the pain…”you should be grateful you know, that you weren’t abandoned, that a parent even took care of you” (like we are burdens instead of gifts in this world). These are the words you hear when you grow up in an Asian household. You are also taught to pretend like nothing is wrong. You are taught to hold your breathe and put on a mask. 

Because it is shameful, divorce. 

So there are seasons of my life where I feel pangs in my heart that I can’t explain, that I can’t pray away. It’s God healing the layers of pain that can’t be explained with words….it’s suffering in injustice and peeling off the hidden layers of protection, it’s trying not to drown and holding onto the cross, it’s looking up from under the ocean, every time God heals me…slowly swimming closer to the surface where I can finally breathe and laugh again.

It’s God unlocking chains that have held me down too deep, too many contracts and agreements that I didn’t agree to, that I was born into.

I didn’t agree to this. I break it off, I break off every lie that I was born into.

I break off every pain that tore through my heart, I break off the shame and the guilt that wasn’t mine.

It’s not your fault you know, if you were a child of divorce. You were a child who needed protection, not the other way around. You couldn’t possibly shield your parents from pain, you couldn’t have stopped the move, you couldn’t have because you were a child who needed protection.

So don’t feel guilty for not having done more. Even now it’s not your fault. You were a helpless child. 

Children of divorce often grow up with too much on their plates and they often continue to take on more than they can handle, sacrificing their own happiness to make others happy. Because I’ve caused enough hardships. I was a burden on her or him. My very life is a mistake. 

You are not a mistake, you are a gift from God. You were born into a tragic story but you were born as a brilliant idea of God, you are a gift and you are gifted.

No wonder some people live in rejection even until they are gray and old.

“No one will ever love me”- says he or she…”I’m not worthy of love”.

I wish I could tell you that this world is perfect, but it’s not. We are born into an imperfect world that needs redemption.

God is redeeming me everyday. Some seasons are heavier where I am faced with the wounds in my heart caused by thousands of stabbing.

There are layers and layers of protection and false bandages that children of divorce use. There are guilt trips and false shame.

Some of us live normal lives not recognizing or accepting that we have been wounded. These unrecognized wounds become unhealthy and destructive patterns in our lives. Sometimes we drown it with addictions like alcohol, sometimes we drown it by working hard and making money (and we are applauded for that, society looks up to that), sometimes we drown it with relationships and codependent friendships, sometimes we drown it by constantly being alone or constantly being with people.

It’s not about you, parents. This post is not about you. This post is about us children. We get to have a space to be ourselves, we are not guilt tripping you.

We get to have feelings, we get to have emotions. We are human, we are not an accessory to your lives. We were not born to be cute or helpful. We were born for God and FROM GOD. We were not born to satisfy or a fulfill a life you didn’t live, we were not born to be your source of love. We were born for God and from God. 

The responsibility to take care of wounded parents seem to last a life time, but it’s not supposed to. Children of divorce are not supposed to feel responsible for their parents’ divorce.

We are supposed to move on into healthy relationships and have healthy opinions of ourselves. 

But many of us still live under shame and guilt. We feel guilty for being born, we feel guilty for creating a mess, even though it’s not our mess. We feel guilty for being a burden. 

So God set us free.

Set us free from the lie that we are not enough.

Set us free from the lie that we are a burden and not a gift.

Set us free from shame. Set us free from feelings of unworthiness.

Set us free from the lie that we will never be happy and that we don’t deserve to be happy.

I have carried burdens that aren’t mine for too long and I need healing too. This is a space I get to be honest and myself. This is a space I get to be loved. Some people tell me “it seems like you are blaming your parents” or I hear “you shouldn’t write about it” ….but is silence better? Is it better to live in a world where everyone just pretends to be fine and dandy?

Why don’t we get to have feelings? 

If I don’t write about it, who will. Who will break the silence?

Who will shine light on the invisible children? Who will remember the forgotten ones? The children who grow up into adults but still live as rejects.

Most people will not see it, but God sees and He cares. He cares for every wound in your heart, He cares about every tear that you cry. He wants to set you free.

A prayer of release (read this out loud)- Dear God, from today on I break off any lies and contracts that were made on my soul and spirit the day I was born. I was born into imperfection and sin, but Jesus died on the cross for me to be righteous in your eyes. I am enough. I am loved by you. I am not a reject. I break off any responsibilities that are NOT mine.

From today on, I am a free person, I get to live my own life. I am not tied to my parents’ divorce, I am not a child of divorce any longer. I am a child of God. Now you are my parent, you take care of me, you protect me, you guide me. You have always been there for me, even when I felt like an orphan. I now remember that I am royalty, I was born to reign and not to suffer in silence. 

I forgive my parents and I forgive myself for carrying burdens that aren’t mine.

I am a free person! There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.

Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name Amen.