You weren’t there for me so I sought validation, accomplishments and awards
Little did I know that I wanted a conversation- communication I want to be understood and accepted
You say that I never listen but you were never there for me so what is there to listen to I want you to say “how are you, how are you doing?”
I want you to care about me not just yourself
When I did visit you you only talked about yourself you never asked me how I lived the last 30 years of my life
You never asked If I liked a boy or did I do well in my class, my opinion didn’t seem to matter to you
So later on in life I listen to people talk about themselves and it was easy for me because I didn’t have to show up or take up space I have a lot to show off, I have accomplished a lot and I’m very talented, but I often downplayed myself to make others feel better
You sent me videos about yourself lecturing, but what did this have to do with me? I wish you asked about how I felt. You never did.
And so I suffocated in silence. It took me 33 years to really learn how to take up space, to show up, to say what’s on my mind, to stop being fake and upset a few people
To stop being so nice, so pleasing to everyone but myself I stopped being a doormat, I started screaming if I had to, I started cutting people off if they kept talking I let out the rage and it worked I stopped suppressing myself to accommodate toxic people who used me for their gains I found my voice.
Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!