A divine appointment on a bus
Today I went to visit a restaurant owner. She had told me “come back tomorrow” when I asked for a donation for my missions trip.
I didn’t return because I had other divine appointments.
But I also thought “maybe she said that just to avoid saying no” because I experienced that from many people.
Well today on my last day in Fiji, I felt led to go downtown. I had just rode from Suva to nadi waking up at 3:30am.
I got 3 hours of sleep but after riding with my new friend, who I ministered to, I was dropped off at my accommodation and it turned out I didn’t have enough cash and had to go to the atm.
Well I walked across a bridge and found the atm charged $10 for withdrawal so I decided to go into town.
God was like go into town.
I suddenly felt led to go to her restaurant. I remembered I had promised to go back. When I entered, I felt scared. I felt that I might look desperate. I was thinking what will she think of me.
But then she hugged me tight.
I said I was hungry and she fed me.
She gave me a donation then we proceeded to chat.
Immediately I started to cry. She had watched my video about being rejected by my mom. We talked about family and the importance of communication and vulnerability.
I told her how I saw an image of her lying back on water and resting.
I said she was worthy of rest, even as a widow, that God is her husband and He will never leave her.
She said “you get easily disheartened. Don’t allow rejection from your mother make you think others will reject you”.
And that’s the truth about why I’m journeying as a missionary. Whether it’s in business or non profit, we encounter rejection everyday. It doesn’t mean we are failures or not enough, it’s just part of life.
Don’t allow others’ perspective taint your identity. Your identity doesn’t depend on what others think of you.
I find that when I’m not so confident in who I am, the vultures come out, the creepy guys appear on the street.
They feed on the energy of lack. Lack isn’t just financial, it’s a belief about who you are.
I also realize these past few days that we form opinions about other people based on our negative experiences.
For example, in a relationship if we don’t receive an immediate reply we think that person doesn’t care about us.
If a person says no we think they don’t love us.
If a person insinuates anything, we make up conclusions in our mind.
If we continue to bring back negative experiences from the past into new relationships, we jeopardize our chance at an honest relationship.
My own parents might not have ever supported my emotionally or financially, but it doesn’t mean others won’t.
I might have felt like a burden to them but I am gift on this earth.
You are a gift and not a burden and I want you to know you are worthy of love. No matter what you’ve experienced. How people have treated you is not the definition of who you are.
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A woman I prayed for on the bus today. Jesus is the way the truth and the life.
Rebekka Lien 