I was featured on thrillist! That day I was having an emotional day when I saw this. I burst out crying because I realized God was saying “don’t worry I’m going to honor you”. Where you were at the end of the line, I’m going to bring you to the front. Where you were rejected, I’m going to have people celebrate you!
I know a lot of people say loving yourself is a out there concept…but it’s not.
I often felt like a martyr and saw people who only thought of themselves as selfish
Jesus had told me to leave everything and follow Him and it seems like a honorable thing, sure, I’m reaping treasures in heaven and earth, but I’ve also learned the importance of loving yourself and taking care of yourself in the process.
Love others as you love yourself
You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself. I’ve experienced a lot of love as I loved others but I’ve also experienced their lack.
There are times I feel like a mountain of people are above me, while I’m being buried alive and I can’t breathe at all.
I had a dream that a girl was putting a red jewel into my nose. She was a good friend of mine. She didn’t leave everything behind to follow Jesus and I don’t think she felt called to. I envy her sometimes. She has a normal job and is able to buy whatever she wants.
But I feel that for us; those who have been called to leave everything behind and follow Jesus- God wants us to live in impossible faith, He also wants you to treat yourself.
Even if you don’t feel like you have enough at times and God often gives you just what you need- He wants you to get what you want.
For once, get the more expensive ice cream, the one you actually want.
Go get the massage, treat yourself to a pedicure, get that lotion.
You might not feel like you deserve it or that you should use the money for food and accommodation, somehow by getting what you actually want, more will be given to you.
I’m talking to myself here. I’m so used to using money for practicals that I neglect my desires. But in following Holy Spirit I’ve learned the importance of staying where he wants me to stay despite costs.
Yesterday when my new friend dropped me off at the hotel he said “this one is more expensive, let’s find a cheaper one”. I said “God has assignments for me here, how expensive is a soul?”
Is a soul worth it? Then God will provide.
Sure enough, as I was led to minister to the people he called me to, God blessed me so that I didn’t have to worry about the fact that my hotel cost a bit more than the other ones.
It wasn’t a Sheraton no, or a Hilton, no. But God led me to where I needed to be. A cafe where I was able to call forth someone’s destiny, where people honored my voice and listened.
One lady I prophesied she would write books and preach, another I saw his family traveling the world ministering. I saw his cafe as a house church where people would be delivered. Right after I found myself praying over someone with chicken pox, he was a friend and staff of the owner.
Our desires are planted by God unto our hearts before we were born.
Our biggest desire is to know God.
Then when we are in relationship with God, we can live a life led by the spirit.
So what is it you want?
I want a family. I want a husband who loves Jesus and has an all in anointing.
I want to have wild and passionate and loving sex with my husband.
I want to have a home by the beach.
I want to drink coffee.
I know. I quit caffeine to be healthy, but I want to drink coffee and not be affected by it.
I want uninterrupted sleep- 10 hours straight without waking up to pee or being interrupted by some noises.
I want to rest. My body is aching and tired and I’ve traveled for 10 months straight, not staying in one place for more than a week and the last month, I’ve literally moved everyday.
I want to continue changing lives and delivering captives from shame and guilt! I want to continue speaking life into dead bones!
I want to continue prophesying dreams into peoples’ hearts and showing them that it’s not selfish to follow their hearts.
I want to poop in silence and without interruption.
I want to take a really long bath with candles and not feel guilty about it!
I want to live a fearless life.
I want to move mountains and see lives come to Jesus.
I want to have right boundaries and not feel false responsibility for the thousands of people I’ve ministered to. I want to be able to release them to Jesus and not bear the weight of their problems.
I want to cast all my cares to the Lord.
I want to sip wine and overlook a vineyard. I want a romantic date in Greece overlooking the blue oceans without fear that the man next to me will leave or neglect me- hello? Am I the only one?
I want to have dates for the rest of my life! And not just for a week!
I want to have friendships that are reciprocative! I want friends that actually reach out to me, and not just me reaching out to them!
I want to be on television, and I want a movie made about me. I want to star in it, write for it, create it and direct it.
I want to create and sing songs. I want to play piano and cello. I want to do yoga again. I want to be fit again. I want to be famous, for the sake of the world- for the sake of people learning about Jesus. I want to wear nice clothes and have nice shoes. I want to have money.
Because when we follow our dreams, we are allowing others to follow theirs.
It’s not selfish.
I’ve prophesied and pray for thousands of people. Lately many people have been wanting to move- I said you’ve got to move, you’ve got to go where you are happy!
I started telling them where and they said “yah I want to go there but don’t know how”.
I said “just go and God will open doors!” I’m a living testament of God’s provision. When you put God’s kingdom first all things will be added unto you. God blesses you to be a blessing to others, so why wouldn’t God bless you even more so that blessing will overflow to others?
It’s time to name what you want and go after it!
Give- thank you!