Living Out of Desire

A painting I made in Melbourne

This morning I had a realization.

Yesterday I saw an artwork in a gallery with a woman crying and her cheeks were wounded.

On both sides there were verses from the Bible and one from the Koran.

The one from the Koran said a light beating was permitted to put your woman in line. Another was about woman submitting to their husbands.

Then yesterday I talked to a German guy who told me there’s a lot of the Bible he doesn’t agree with.

I explained that Jesus came to fulfill every law, not to bind us.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1

“For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases him.” Philippians 2:13

So if anyone tells you should or shouldn’t do something, they are using the law against you.

Grace is the only thing that should compel you.

When I asked God about the verse regarding submission, the Lord said “I’ve fulfilled every law”.

Here are examples of people using the law against you- it says the devil is the accuser….remember Jesus already paid the price for your imperfections.

1. Lie- God is not blessing you because you don’t tithe- it doesn’t say you are saved by grace and tithing, you are blessed no matter what. Tithing is only an act of worship and thanks. There are times on the road I really don’t have time to sit down and tithe but I hear God say “it’s okay, you’ve done enough”.

I may not tithe all the time but when the Lord leads me I may give all or a large portion of what someone sows into my ministry to someone I meet and who is in need.

This action is also compelled by the grace of God, not because I feel that God won’t bless me if I don’t do it. I do it because I trust that His grace is sufficient for me.

In the past I was very paranoid that God stopped blessing me because I didn’t do something – but I realized that’s the devil condemning me.

His sacrifice on the cross is finished, complete.

In fact, the more you understand grace, the more you will give because you start to experience the grace of God in your life. And you are no longer bound by the curse (ex karma).

Same goes with going to church. For many years I didn’t go to church and I sometimes felt guilty about it but during that time the Lord said “just rest, no need to go”.

Even now on the road I only go to church if I feel led. I meet plenty of Christians on the road and we pray for each other. But I don’t feel obligated to go to be a Christian.

I’m not saved by church attendance. I’m saved by the finished work of the cross and if the Lord leads me to go I go- but often it usually for the people that God wants to connect me to, or perhaps there’s someone He wants me to prophesy over, or perhaps someone will bless me with who they are- but very rarely is it just for the message itself.

The church is a organism, not organization. It’s supposed to be flowing, moving, supporting each other as a community, not as a stagnant organization.

2. Wives, you should do this or that.

At any time someone tells you what to do, they’ve chained you with the law. What is the law? Working for the blessings.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

A fruit is an external manifestation of a seed God planted in you. So it’s not something you made happen, it’s what God did in you. It’s supernatural.

So if there is a loving marriage, God made it happen. If someone chose to love, God made it happen.

God is the one who produced in me the desire and ability to do what I do- but it’s because of the understanding that He already finished all the work on the cross that set me free to follow Him.

If we think that God will only bless us if we obey Him then we don’t understand grace.

It’s His overwhelming love for us that compels our hearts to give up everything to follow Him.

Imagine a kid who does something in obedience to her strict father. She is paranoid and scared that he will punish her if she doesn’t obey him.

She doesn’t understand his love for her. She continues to obey out of fear. But she doesn’t feel loved.

I feel like that at times, but then I realize it’s the enemy trying to make God seem like a tyrant.

Now imagine a kid who is sure of her father’s love for her. She forgives, loves, gives and open her heart to receive because she knows her father loves her, not because she is fearful that her father will retaliate if she doesn’t obey.

The last couple of days have been really intense for me. The money was not transferring or coming in and I felt like I was being torn. I also felt the leading of the spirit to just go and flow with Him not knowing where I was going to stay.

I literally walked where he was leading me. With all my bags. The next day I booked a bus, then the next day I booked another bus somewhere else. It was one after another. Money was really tight. I found free food in the kitchen. Like it was for real. I had to ask people for help. And the people I prayed for actually gave.

My heart was like ahhhhhhh, I’m scared.

I’m scared that God won’t take care of me. But I came through. And I understood it was all learning to trust His heart for me. I also understood that He led me to the places and people that I needed to minister to. It showed me that I was worthy of the help too, that what I was doing was touching peoples’ hearts and they were willing to reciprocate. Which I found so rare in previous times.

I am making you more like Jesus says the Lord. Though it feels difficult, you are being set free from everything that is holding you back.

Yesterday I wept and wept as I prayed to God. I haven’t cried that much all this trip. I felt like my heart was coming out of my chest. I was crying for the lost sheep I met.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God wants to break every fear off of you. And sometimes He’ll do that in a tight place, in a place where you feel like you can’t go on anymore. In that place you learn His perfect love is actually enough for you.

This morning the Lord said “look in your bank, the money should have transferred”.

Sure enough it did. God needed me to know that even if I didn’t have money, He would provide for me. That if I asked someone for $5 they would give $20, that if I asked for a ride, they would give me a ride. That if I didn’t have food, there would be food for me in the kitchen.