Broken Hearted

I felt so burdened and drained today. I thought it was because I was stressed about having 11 nzd for tomorrow or maybe I was worried about where I would sleep tomorrow.

But when I started listening to worship music I started weeping. I closed my eyes and heard the pain of the wounded man on the bus today. I closed my eyes and saw the reaction of those who heard I’m a missionary, those skeptics of God, those wounded by the church or Christians.

I couldn’t stop weeping and praying.

When will the church stop debating theology and actually love those Jesus calls us to love??

When will we allow our hearts to be truly broken??

Today the man on the bus asked me what God was telling me.

I said “He told me to listen to you”.

“Well I’m not sure if you want to listen to an atheistic”.

God told me that this man just needed to be listened to, so as I listened I felt my heart breaking. I felt his pain and it climaxed at night. I started praying in the garden, I felt like Jesus in the last hour. I wasn’t bleeding but I was actually on my period so I was bleeding in some way Lol.

Will you pray with me?? For every soul I talk to?

Here’s a short 3 minute prayer video-

Thank you to all those who have sown into the lives and souls of hundreds and thousands people on the road.

God continues to break my heart for the lost and the wounded.

Today I didn’t know where I was going but I kept hearing God say- go to Nelson. I met a Christian woman on the bus and then ended up sitting next to a man who had been badly hurt by other Christians. I said- this is why God sent me on this bus.

I told him that God was not about right or wrong, but He is about love.

When will the church stop judging and start loving as Jesus did? When will we stop with the legalism and law and understand grace is complete and not lacking?

You can’t love with your head. You must allow your heart to love, be broken. Theological debates are useless. People believe with their hearts, not head.