Lately I have been weeping a lot.
I can feel the pain and hunger of every person I talk to. I see the lost eyes and the heart filled with sorrow, I see the weariness of life.
I weep because I can feel God’s love for them, I can feel the Lord approaching their hearts knocking “will you let me in?”
My heart weeps for a broken world looking for true love.
This love isn’t found in a romantic partner like some would think, it doesn’t come from parents or friends embracing you though it may fill a small void- but there is a God sized hole that only God can fill.
So I found myself weeping with Jesus.
We don’t see many people living radical lives because love is risky. And the way I live, requires that I open my heart all the way.
No reserve, no fear. I must be an open book. I must be vulnerable. I must share my deepest hurts and deepest fears. I share this because I rely on grace alone.
There are times I am rejected because of it.
There are other times I am betrayed because of it.
But then I turn to Jesus, the true healer.
And then I keep loving the Jesus loves, with no reserve, with no conditions, I keep going deeper and deeper, higher and higher, wider and wider.
I had a dream I was scuba diving into water, so deep.
When I think I can’t do it anymore, I can’t give anymore love, I can’t hear anymore painful stories, I can’t love anymore God widens my heart and He shows me “this is how much I love you”.
“I have no limits.
My love crosses mountains, dives into the deepest oceans, walks the darkest valley for the one.”
Even when everyone has given up on them, I haven’t.
This is my life calling.
I hold hands with girls who are ashamed of their scars from cutting themselves, I hold hands with ex-pimps and anoint them with the spirit, I hold hands with the unlikely, the unwanted….
And I say “the Lord is your Father, You are adopted. You are a child of God and not an orphan”.
It’s not me but the Lord loving through me, because in my flesh I can do nothing of my own.
Weeping with Jesus.
He is a lowly king. He is victorious king. He is the one who will pick up those everyone else has abandoned. Who is this king of glory? He who died for the least of us.
His love overwhelms me.
Are you willing to allow your heart to be broken over and over and allow God to heal it over and over again? Because this is how it feels to love people. This is how it feels to follow Jesus. It’s not a safe world- it’s a passionate, weeping filled world where every emotion is felt.
May you experience Jesus in an intimate way this Christmas.
With love, writing from Chiang Mai, Thailand.
To sow a seed:
Your contribution allows me to continue sharing the love of Jesus as I travel to where the Lord leads me.
Thank you so much! God bless you!