The other day I awoke. A faint singing in my head. I sat in puzzlement, could it be memories clouding my judgment. I decided to let you go…for it soiled the life I wanted to live. With everyday I laugh and cry, this life is worth living.
Each day I feel like I touched you two times, life will pass me by twice. For each time I wake to the sun, shining fervently on this face of mine, I sense I have awaken from another reality.
This reality, so vivid. I held your hands, firmly we walked this path, in the darkness we walked. I had you and you never let go. So much happened, I can’t remember. All sadness, All sweetness. Bittersweetness marred me, marred you. It dwindled, it faded, the tear that dripped, vapor of pain.
Vapor of pain turned this time into life, incarnational.
I laughed and the whole world turned bright colors. And He said, “It is good”. The first thing God did in the whole history of human- kind? He created. He looked proudly upon His creation and said, “it is good”. It reflected Him, we reflect our creator. I look at all the bright colors of the earth and I say, “it is good”.
So this pain? It is good to me. Though I have not created some, mostly, it is good for my soul to know what beauty is in my pain- wrenching me apart subtley. Yet in the bathtub, I stare at my own reflection- this pain will only be momentary. Beauty surpasses this thorn in my heart. It accentuates and illuminates broken pieces of glass so small I can not even see.