Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in your life comes down to one thing.

You are enough.

Or the question of “Am I Enough?” 

When it comes down losing weight – am I slim enough, am I enough? Am I beautiful enough? Am I good enough for you (in relationship)? Am I smart enough? Am I successful enough?

So I’m going to tell you my struggle this year.

I’ve been in a long season of training and waiting with God. In March, I was told by my doctor that I have low thyroid. I thought everything would be okay with my blood test but apparently there was something wrong. In slow-motion, I thought to myself “omg, this is bad”. The next few months were filled with paranoia. 

At first, I tried to eat the medicine they gave me but had horrible insomnia. The next day I called and the nurse said to eat half the pill so I did. Again, horrible insomnia and fast beating of heart. Finally, thank God the doctor said to stop eating it and just eat seaweed.

I ate seaweed like my life depended on it. Then I went to an eastern doctor and got remedies. I cooked herbs for 3 hours once every few days.

But what broke the spell for me was when I watched Joseph Prince’s message about healing. He said that the word healing had “relax” in it. The key to healing is to rest in the finished work of Jesus – “by His wounds we are healed”. 

And even if you don’t see it yet, you believe it, you speak it, it becomes your reality. You have to have faith.

You can’t believe and then continue to live in paranoia. Obviously, you still have to do the work of eating seaweed or whatever it is, but you relax knowing that God is currently healing you.

I said “God I don’t know what I’m doing because whenever I exercise too much, I get sick and whenever I don’t I feel gross and fat and since I have low thyroid I am just gaining weight not eating much. I feel defeated. I can’t do anything on my own. I believe that by your stripes I am healed“.

In May, I did another blood test and my thyroid levels were completely normal. 

Well, now it’s August and I find that I am still low on energy and feeling unhappy at times. Now I know that God is healing me but I am starting to see that the condition of my heart is closely related to “my happiness”.

God is healing my heart of old disappointments, hurt from the past and when you are going through heart healing, you may not have the energy to do things like “normal people”…

Do you ever notice when you force yourself to do something you don’t want to, you feel anxiety? 

It’s because you are not listening to your heart.

Your heart may need to lie down, mope a little. Maybe it just needs the time to do so.

Our society doesn’t teach us how to honor and protect our hearts. Society tells us to hurry up and just get over it. 

Society says, YOU ARE NEVER ENOUGH so you just need to hustle everyday, go to the gym for 6 hours a day and even when you feel good enough, you’re not enough.

But I just want to tell you that YOU ARE ENOUGH. And God loves and accepts you as YOU ARE NOW.

What about getting fit? Or getting healthy….believe that the God in you is healing you, directing you, guiding you. Listen to That within you that knows you full well.

Even when a trainer says they know better…….ask them “do you know what it means to feel enough?”

Because this society is full of people that look good on the outside, but feels LACK within. The lies we tell ourselves “I’m not enough, I don’t have what I need now, I’m never going to be enough”.

The truth- You are enough. You have everything you need now (this also relates to consumerism in our society and why we often consume in order to fill the void we feel within), you are already enough now.

What if we lived from the love and Enough-ness instead of the lack and unworthiness? 

PS- when it comes to dieting, we subconsciously tell our hearts “you can’t have what you want” which translates to “because you can’t have what you want, you don’t have enough, and YOU ARE not enough because you don’t have what you want”. So we cheat. because we are living by RULES versus desires. I wonder if that’s why people also cheat in relationships, because we are tying ourselves to rules instead of living in honesty about what we really want and need. 

Why is there a CHEAT DAY? Isn’t that the same idea as saying you can go on vacation because the work you do everyday- you hate. What if we lived in a way where we learn to honor our desires and needs? And we live out of that place of abundance.