What Is Happiness?

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Catba Vietnam

10 years later I find myself sitting at the orthodontist and looks me straight in the eyes “wear your retainers 24/7”, I’m like are you serious? And then I get some hot cheetos, my favorite magnum ice cream and some horchata, none of which is that healthy, but enjoying these snacks while walking a mile home, I suddenly am filled with delight.

I was always easily amused growing up.

In fact, you could put me in my room and I’d play with my barbies with a whole day, making up stories and have them talk to each other. 

I could spend days on end imagining and living in my own world. I was happy.

Then all of a sudden, I found myself comparing my life with others. Well, they have a bigger house, oh I need a cell phone too? The truth was, I was already content because my mind was filled with fascinating delights. But as I got older, I started to see that “success”, you know by means of hustle was important to 99% of people. Though my mom encouraged the arts, teaching us piano, sending us to cello lessons, at the end of the month, the stress of bills seemed to outweigh the joy of creating.

I found myself wanting to help, to be independent. I worked all throughout college, my parents didn’t have to pay one cent of my college tuition. I climbed the corporate ladder, only to very fast, find out I hated it. And I hated structure because I needed my own space to create and to be myself. 

What frustrates me with human beings these days is that they see sitting at a desk, being unhappy a sign of productivity.

What frustrates me with human beings these days is that it never seems to be enough.

What frustrates me with human beings is that they (or I) often worry about tomorrow when today is just as beautiful and the human beings you love are right in front of you, while you are staring at your Iphone trying to figure out when your next client will call.

So in the midst of being a walking sage these days, I find myself saying hello to animals, plants, finding potholes, secret pathways, stairs, and I’m fascinated, I’m excited, I’m overwhelmed with the beauty that is all around me and I’m happy. 

What has it cost me to be happy?

  1. Getting rid of my car
  2. Not having a sim card
  3. Letting spirit lead.
  4. The need to control
  5. Having a lot of friends who don’t really know me.

It’s an act of returning to childlike joy, and though it cost me a great deal, reverting to who I am, a creative and joyful child, I am filled with the delight of God.

Why You Should Take The Road Less Traveled

Today I took the road less traveled as I often do.

It’s interesting when people that do not have interesting lives tell you what to do, it makes me chuckle a bit. People think being alone is very dangerous, but I think otherwise. I’m never alone, God is always with me. I’m always being directed left or right, back or forward. Can human beings direct me? Not often, unless they’ve walked the same road I’m trying to walk on.

I woke up around 8:30am and decided to try a hike I’ve never done before. It’s supposed to be 10 miles roundtrip. When I got to the bottom of the hill, I noticed there was an interesting path, very rocky all the way up. It wasn’t a paved road. Instinctively, I started walking up.

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Then the road started getting real tiring and it was REALLY cold. However, I was only wearing shorts and a sleeveless drake shirt. Midway up, I thought about going back. 

Isn’t that us in life?

We often want to give up midway to the top. It’s easy to give up and go to starbucks to enjoy our safe cup of coffee, to veg out at home and never see a stranger again, it’s easy to live our routine lives and take the easy path. It’s easy, but our souls tend to die a little more each day because human beings are meant to be challenged, to be excited, to be passionate about life….there’s a little adventurer that longs to see a greater life. 

Do you know what spurred me on?

A set of footsteps, actually the same footsteps all the way up that led me. I knew it was just one person who had gone up this path maybe earlier in the morning or the day before…or who knows when, but it gave me courage to keep going.

Another analogy- when we know that ONE person, even one, have gone before US, we have courage to keep going. 

Whose footsteps are you following?

Ones that inspire you or ones that are simply traditional? Nothing wrong with traditional and the worn path, but are they living the life you desire? 

So I started to sing and talk to myself, I kept hearing “there’s gold on top of the mountain”. There’s gold indeed. I walked by some graffitied metals, up I walked. I even peed once since no one was on the trail.

The great thing about being a rarity is that you can do whatever you want and no one will be there to judge.

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I got to the top area, and was praying for a paved road…finally there was. I thought to myself, “should i keep going or go back because going back is familiar but I have no idea where I’ll be walking now if I keep going forward”.

I heard “keep going forward”.

Now, I started walking down the grey path, some kind of paved road that no one drove on. It was a secret road.

As I started walking down, I looked at the daunting mountains.

OMG am I going to make it back alive. Where am I? My phone had no reception and just from looking down at the city, I was FAR FAR FAR away from the starting point. I just kept hearing “trust me”. Spirit was leading me. The mountains that once inspired me now seemed scary.

I suddenly see this biker and my heart leaped. I hurried and asked him how far I was from the bottom. He said “shouldn’t be that far, it took me 20 minutes to bike up”. Happily, I walked down, but it was WAY more than 20 minutes plus from where he parked, there was still 3-4 miles down the hill. I walked by a chinese couple, I asked them again and this time I told them where I started from, they looked at me with awe. OMG they said. You started THERE!

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“I got lost but now I’ve found”- with my totally frozen hands.

My hands were completely frozen, it hurt to bend them. Finally I saw a white car and a gangster looking guy. He was on the phone with a redbull in his hands. I asked him how far it would take to get down…and by any chance, if he was driving down, could I get a lift? He said he would if he was going down soon.

I kept walking.

And like an angelic sound, the humming of his beaten up car came down like a breeze on a hot night.

The most unlikely ride. I ran and hopped in. And if you were wondering, geez so dangerous. I have hitchhiked with people all over the world and because I can sense peoples’ energy, I am able to do so. I said “you know, sometimes I always wonder whether there are actually kind people in the world when I’m in situations like this”. He said “me too, one time my car broke down on the freeway and I kept waving….no one stopped to help me”.

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I felt sad because I knew that people refused to stop because they were busy, or thought their lives to be busy….probably also because he looked like a gangster. It’s funny how the most unlikely people are actually the ones that help you and the ones that sometimes have everything have no compassion for you.

And as I hopped off the car, I offered a blessing for him. Because with my hands frozen, my heart had melted a little this day. What if we were all kind to one another, what would the world look like? What if we didn’t judge by skin color or class? 

It saddened me to think about it, but it also gave me fresh perspective. Thank God to the many angels that gave me direction today…and so it is with our lives, we can either be safe in our little cave and judgements of others or trust that the universe is full of kind souls, ready to give love and be loved by you….and thus, take the necessary risks to fulfill your dreams. 

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Contests Should Be Global- I Should Write the Fine Print.

This is so ridiculously cute.

“2009 facetnate! winners: Pip & Pop’s sickly sweet super kawaii installation of sugar, pigment, origami, plastic toys, beads, confectionary and drinking straws, Under the Crystal Sky.

The Sydney Japan Foundation is now accepting proposals for facetnate! 2010. Australia-based emerging artists and curators can submit proposals for projects that would have a strong Japanese influence, to be put on as a solo or group exhibition in the second half of the year with a grant of $3000.” – http://biginjapan.com.au/2010/02/facetnate/

I WAS GETTING SO RIDICULOUSLY excited about this, but read that it’s only for Australia-based artists. How sad. -_-

I finally finished printing all the tags I need to glue the “benefiting non- profit” tag unto my handmade goods. Here is just two of my bags. I also made these cute pink, green, and purple pillows. They are beyond rad.

The inside of the red and black tweed bag has pleather- like fabric on the other side. Both are made of “scraps” and treasure finds. To be sold at Art Show March 12- See flier below (that’s not me):

The “various artists” includes me.

The sun has risen. I walked on stones and pebbles. The bulldog runs.

I am alone. I am content. I smile and breathe. The air is clear.

The greens are alive. The wind swivels and blows. My hair is messy.

I stoop over the drops of dew. Clinging onto the leaves of life.

I am alive. They all say hi. I’ve yet to see. The dreams to rise.

Good night!