Your Breakthrough Is In Your Presence

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How do you deal with uncertainties? Life is full of unknowns.

God often surprises me by destroying plans I had, even for Christmas. I might have assumed something but then those plans are easily pulled away from me. This week I woke up with horrible vertigo and puking. Yes, it was awful. I thought I was going to die and I prayed really hard. The sickness came and went, tried to come back again, but finally left.

I was grateful. It humbled me as well. Sickness is humbling. It reminds you, you are fragile, weak. 

I felt that the puking was like a cleanse to the negativity in my life. I realized it also stemmed from my not eating when I would get hungry. Deep down, I had some insecurities about my recent inability to exercise and was afraid that I was gaining weight. But I think deep down I felt that I was not good enough. 

During my time in bed, I kept hearing “you are good enough, you are enough” over and over again. In my inability to do anything, I soaked in God’s unconditional love for me. I was reminded that I had been trying to figure my life out again, even by planning my days, I was trying to control my life. I wasn’t handing over the reigns. 

Soon enough God heard my prayers and my mom actually took me to this Chinese medicine woman who gave me a diagnosis and some herbs. Soon enough, I was also alone again. This time a little disappointed that I would probably spend the holidays alone. I didn’t really understand what was happening.

I know that 2017 is a year of alignment, but even in those days where I’m writing, painting, watching Elementary, I’m wondering what my life will even look like soon.

What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[
    the things God has prepared for those who love him- 1 Corinthians 2:9 

But today as my flesh and mind finally let go of plans and the need to KNOW, I went to the movies (which always calms me down), cried my eyes out watching Moana and Collateral Beauty (good for emotional cleansing, the movie seriously left the whole movie theater room sniffling), and then in following my desires for some food and boba, was led to divine appointments with strangers. One lady I met when I asked her about this hat I wanted to buy, I said “just to make sure, this is the English flag right?” and then I continued the conversation by asking if she was Irish and she said German. Well, since I was born in Germany, we had no lack of conversation.

Our need to know always ruins the moment doesn’t it? In the story of Adam and Eve, that is what ruined their life at first….the need to know without the relationship with God, which is based on trust. We are unable to live in the moment, to see all the beauty and love around us when we are in our head, figuring every detail of our lives out.

I remember when I was dating an ex, we went to an Italian restaurant in Santa Monica but his mind was absent. The bill was over $100 but I could have stayed at home, watched netflix and ate mcdonalds for $5. It wasn’t about our surroundings, how delicious the food was, or even how romantic the ambiance was. I thought the food was okay, but my ex said it was a waste of money and that the food was horrible. To be honest, if I was eating by myself, I would have enjoyed everything a lot more. His energy totally killed my vibe.

His mind was somewhere else and I was unable to connect with him. 

We can truly enjoy the moment when we choose to be grateful, to notice the miracle around us. Everyday is a gift. When we are present we are able to connect with the people who are around us. That is one of the reasons I love traveling because I am usually present. I see the world with wonder, everything is new to me and I am not thinking about anything else. I don’t plan either, I usually allow spirit to lead me to the right place at the right time. I follow my bliss, I follow the adventure. When I am tired, I sit down at a cafe and observe the beauty around me. By being present I meet the most wonderful people.

When I was in London, I ate at a market in Brixton and met this girl. She asked if she could share the table with me. Turns out she worked at the Globe Theatre and she invited me to watch a play with her. I was truly grateful because she gave me free tickets and I had made a new friend. I was reminded that God was watching over me in every step of my journey backpacking through Europe. I have thousands of stories like this, divine appointments I call them.

Gifts, Books and Prophecies

Hello Friends!

Thank you again for continuing to read my blog. I truly appreciate your love and support.

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If you have Instagram, follow me for prophetic words and encouragements for achieving and living your dreams. 

God has been stirring up a people who will actually live for love.
As long as you allow others to define you, live for other peoples expectations…you will not be able to surrender to love. Love will captivate your heart and impart power.
When you know your identity and live out of it, not taking any bs, living from focused purpose, you will need nothing else because everything is within.

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Looking for gifts or just good reads?

2 New books are on my shelf!

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The I Factor by Van Moody is a book about building a great relationship with yourself. He talks about leaders and celebrities who got to high success but experienced downfalls due to their beliefs about who they are (aka identity). Van also talks about The Wilderness season of your life where God leads you to confront the personal issues that may become a stumbling block to success and happiness. I literally cried when I read the pages about the Wilderness because I have experienced the wilderness season for 5 plus years and have gone through intense healing with God. REALLY GOOD READ!

The second book is RED- Blooded American Male. When I opened the package I literally laughed out loud because hello who doesn’t love Arrested Development’s Will Arnett in fish nets? The book is filled with laugh out loud, beautiful and charming photographs by Robert Trachtenberg. The photographs serve to challenge conventional notions of masculinity and traditional male imagery. This is the perfect coffee table book.

The books were given to me for an honest review.

Purchase my art prints for Christmas gifts!

Happy Holidays Everyone! Starting My Year With Post-It Notes

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY CHRISTMAS SOON!

The past few months have been, change, change, change, inconsistency, life and more life.

Without change, there can’t be happiness. 

Change is not only a part of life, part of love, but part of what it takes for a person to be happy. Don’t like change? Well, you’re really screwed. No wonder you’re not happy, no offense.

There were moments I reached mid life crisis and found myself staring at life in the face, asking what I was doing with my life. People think that post- grad confusion ends immediately after you get a job, well, it never ends, even when you are stuck in a job. Life begins after graduation my friends. True warriors face change with vigor, zest, confusion, failures and lots of mid life depression. One needs lots of supportive friends, or even just 1, 2 or 3 close friends will do.

The above is an example of how I am making changes everyday.

Everyday before I go to bed, I have a new RITUAL of writing a prayer, a desire for my life, a goal, a quote, a person, etc. I write this on a post it and stick it right above my bed. I am going to write dates on each post it and I’m sure, 100% sure that all of these goals, prayers, blessings, quotes will come true. What you think, you are. What you hope, you will be. Everything in the universe will conspire to achieve your goals. Positivity will bring positive things into your life.

Did great heroes or great inventors, great artists have thoughts of negativity? Yes. But did they dwell on it? No. Some positive thought pushed them to keep running, keep inventing, keep creating…even when all odds are against them.

You should do it too…I think it’ll benefit you.

Examples of what I wrote:

1. To be big hearted, forgiving, giving, and not easily offended– to embrace all, love all, and to give when it feels uncomfortable. I was driving with my friend the other day, in traffic – this homeless guy was asking for money. I got out of my car and gave him my bag of fruits and my cereal. You should have seen the look on his face, it was pure ecstasy. Doing something good when it feels uncomfortable or when people stare. Who cares about what others think.

2. To self- encourage and love others instead of self- pitying– I have the tendency to self- pity, “oh my god, seriously I can’t believe this person didn’t think about doing this for me…blah”….but this is a selfish love, when not verbalized.

Anyways- hope you have a grand holiday and blessed year! http://rebekkalien.storenvy.com