This so freaken cute.

As I drive, thoughts invade my mind, like aliens taking over planet earth.

It’s all a blur, but to my contacted eyes, like solution wiping all dirt.

I gotta remember this, lest I forget all the poetry I am writing in my head.

I am not a vegabond. I am not alone. Yet, thoughts that others may never understand. Or so I think.

These days….I am like a tree.

My friends talk at me, talk to me, I listen with intensity. I am soaking every word, listening listening with compassion. They can talk for hours, minutes, they swish by without notice. I listen and sit. I am bright-eyed and thinking. These days, I feel senseless and neutral. I ask engaging questions.

I am like a tree, they like cars.

As I drive in the dark, I gather that I am like a tree. The cars are driving past me, 50 miles an hour, 60, speeding at times. I look. I watch. I listen to the swooshing, the too amped up cars, the flashy ones, the beat up, they are all going somewhere. But I, I stand and grow each day. The sun is soaking into my every branch. Even though the world cannot see, this heart is expanding at 1,000 miles per hour. They are only going 60. If only they would sit still and listen too.

Talk and talk and talk. They keep talking, with no purpose, no resolution, no insight, no thought. They are saying nothing at all. And they don’t even know it. And so I sit with sympathy.

Sometimes I wonder how planet nature can preach, they are like the church because God created nature.

I see God and his character. He wants me to sit and wait, he wants me to listen, just like grass and trees.

Another day, I give shelter and resting places for birds. Though they take craps on my branches, I don’t take it personally. For I know I am a tree, not a garbage dump. I know who I am, so those things, don’t make any difference to me. Like I said, hurting people hurt people. I know, I know. So not a worry.

It’s true that everyone wants to be heard. When I was young, I was loud and hyper. I wanted to be center of attention all the time. Now that I know my true worth, I want to give someone else the center. So as they talk on, I may be bored, but I keep with purpose. Their faces and voices echo in my ears. I have nothing to prove.  I am Rebekka, just like a tree stands and grows each day. Giving shelter for those that need a place to rest. I got the sun and it’s all good.

A look at Midwest:

Having missed my original 8 am flight, I had to wait for another flight to NY, which then connected me to St. Louis. This is the empty train at 10:30 pm.

The midwest Arch from afar. Walking 10 blocks, passing numerous numbers of unleased and empty hollow buildings, in LA empty buildings would not stand a chance. Missing my rice and boba reminded me how blessed I am to live in LA, no offense to anyone. Haha. LA seriously is the best place to live in America- I think.

Too lazy to flip this photo.

School starts next Wednesday, i looked at the calendar and mumbled…what the heck I have school on my bday? Just one class though, so it’s not too bad. STILL!! I’ve always made a point of picking classes so that I am classfree on my bday. This time I won’t have Clare’s house to party at- sob.

Kewpie Brings Cheer To All People!

I love the picture of the baby holding the baby, he is one adorable kiddo!

“Don’t let the wise brag of their wisdom.
Don’t let heroes brag of their exploits.
Don’t let the rich brag of their riches.
If you brag, brag of this and this only:
That you understand and know me.
I’m God, and I act in loyal love.
I do what’s right and set things right and fair,
and delight in those who do the same things.
These are my trademarks.” – Jeremiah 9:23-24

My new year’s resolution is to act in faith in every circumstance and every situation. I am going to stop talking and start walking the walk. Looking into volunteering more…maybe in urban ministries and inner city kids? May the spirit fill you causing you to produce good fruit.

It is probably freezing 20 degrees outside, last night when I was walking to the hotel, I walked in and my fingers were literally frozen. I couldn’t bend any of them. Anyways, my neck hurts from sleeping on the airplane. I seriously was supposed to wake up at 5:30 am, but since I went to sleep at 3 am, I overslept and didn’t hear my loud and obnoxious alarm clock. I dont feel like moving much. I was sitting at the airport and just observing and watching everyone and everything. Interesting how an airport has much resemblance to life….more writing on this. It was good to wake up and see an old friend again – met her in Germany. And now we meet in St. Louis. Write again soon.

Oddly enough

I think I finally know what this really is!

She/he will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit- jeremiah 17:8

striking. but refreshing. cant believe i never thought of this…. reading above, below, around the lines of what it really means.

a year of transition,

a year of removal

a year of laughter, a year of pain

a year of growing up, a year of humbling down

a year of knowledge, a year of suffrage

a year of change, for which my life revolves around

the man with no plan

maybe i would if i could

but im not in the hood

nice like ice with a side of rice

that is my man, who has a tan.

😉

everyone is changing,

letting go of friends i once thought right

those that have hurt me by their change

i am learning to let go

realizing even as i talk

those very feelings of bitter melons

that friends dont just change, but they hurt you by turning their backs

and that, my friend, is when you know seasons have changed.

but the most important thing is to learn to forgive and move on, not forgetting, but letting that be a lesson learned. remembering the good and the bad, but nevertheless moving on. lest that sweet betrayal is misunderstood and you are stuck in a rut. seasons change, walk on, walk on. its better to live life, then never have lived.

Just a little glimpse into my journal. I must have over 20 journals, though my journey has been short, it has been long. One day I will die and people will be able to compile them into books. Goodbye apathy.

Breath on Glass
all of the time it’s speeding up
where have you gone my labor of love?
i carried you up the top of the hill
i laid you down, i laid you down

chorus
if i’m acting strange write it down for the weak in faith
oh how, oh how my hands they shake
like breath on glass, i’m fading fast
like breath on glass we fade

boy, can’t you see that i’ll lay you down?
cos i want a name and i want it now
i’m desperate as a house with no ghosts
looking for love looking for home…

If I was cube, what would I look like? a house with no ghost?

But maybe I’m not just a cube. But a tree that grows, providing shelter for those lost and can’t find their home. Bearing fruit for the hungry.

1.5 more weeks of school. look a here, everytime i weep, my tears are made into jewels, stored into jars, sprinkled and shared with all. Cold is approaching, I want to snuggle in my bed forever and not get up. The days are dark and moody. I want chocolate and hot tea. I can feel my emotions firing up, it’s as if I am waiting for disaster. I’m playing music notes, hearing melodies. It’s only a picture book, life goes on. It’s not a waste of time, but my cup is half full, not half empty. The grass is green where I’m standing. Where you are, we water together, waiting for lights to turn on. Like two people on an island. I’m just another human being. Travel with me, let’s drive to neverland, gaze at the colors that surround the doors of our hearts.