Learn how to say coffee, milk and sugar in Vietnamese 

Because if you don’t know how they will not add milk or sugar to your coffee and it’ll be so intense you’ll get a head rush. 

Some coffee shops will give you tea along with your coffee…   

Speaking of animals- 

Dogs walk freely in most of Southeast Asia.

They don’t bite either. But don’t touch them because it might be dirty. 

   
    
 
Oops caught this dog in action 

My beautiful couchsurfing host:   

 

The God of love who is love 

That is my radical 4:11

No not an ancient mythology, not rites of action and sacrifice, no, a radical love which stirs my spirit to sing and dance; which causes my soul to cry and forgive; which causes love for my own depraved soul to rise again 

A God who became imperfection to die for humanity. That is my radical passionate love. Who shows me I am God material, more powerful and abundant than I’ve ever known.

My radical passionate love knows me from the inside out; built my Dna to create fine works of art, to speak multiple languages, to feel compassion for an orphaned child; my radical love causes me to see heaven before I’ve even died to see the grave, no it’s no ancient love, it’s a passionate pursuit.  

 

Well on earth anyways.

So say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you want, when you want to, work the jobs you want, create the things you want, eat the food you want, love the people you want, like and hang out with people you actually care for, don’t hang out with people you don’t like, go where you want, write and draw what you want; be how you want.

Vietnam   

You are my closest friend 

My deepest hope, my light in darkness 

You are.

Even when my heart feels dry, you keep me going. 

 

Here is the honest truth, I started blogging because I needed to vent and it started with xanga. So it’s been awhile, I’ve been blogging since teenage acne and even middle school crushes. 

I don’t give a fuck about what people think. 

Now I started blogging or doing reviews because I love food, and I’ve written for newspapers and magazines on subjects I am passionate about, but otherwise, I can’t blog or write when I’m not in the mood.

So here’s me chilling with cane sugar in Vietnam 

I got asked by a lot of Thai people- where are you from?

I said Los Angeles.

But you look Chinese, well yes, I am of Chinese descent and also I was born in Germany. 

It got a little annoying- then I thought well there’s white people who were born in Asia too, but it’s a little bit rare.

Then I thought wait a minute all these Caucasians are lounging in Southeast Asia and they are treated like gods because they will pay for the mohjitos, the monkey blowjobs, the ping pong shows…

But how about non- Caucasians in caucasian countries? They’re not called expats, they’re immigrants or refugees who are “taking advantage of the system”. 

Hmmmm.

Interesting thought.  

  

I used to go to everything, the networking events, the events with free food and swag bags. Who knows who I might meet? 

Now I’d rather meet myself because I no longer think I’m less than…I approve of myself and my thoughts, I love enjoying what I love to do when I love to do it. 

I’ve had the pleasure of saying no a few times this week. When you’re traveling you’re often invited to do things with people and quite frankly there are many who are afraid to be alone or have a fear of missing out on – the islands, the sites…people travel like they’re working. 

Well, no sorry. Even back home I don’t believe in striving. Being. 

  

I’m leaving Thailand soon and heading to Vietnam. Many people think I’m on vacation but actually I’ve chosen travel as a lifestyle and a journey of love. I’m still dealing with things back in La and to be honest my faith is running low. I didn’t come out here with all things set in place, I came out on a limb….with faith, not knowing, not having security or stability externally.

Why am I here, what’s the purpose, what’s life’s purpose, who am I – why this why that? These are questions I ask myself and for almost a month, I’ve lived in these mysteries. 

So yes I am feeling lost but holding on. 

I can only believe.  

  
we must change ourself to change our circumstances

Now, you say the world is against you, people are belittling you and so on. I say you are belittling your own powers.

This revelation came from my broken bed. First I had troubles getting money from people who needed to pay up, then I threw up shards of food, then my bed broke and I thought “why!!?” This is not fair; why me.

Oh then self pity. Then why did I lose my friends. Oh weepy. 

Then god divine knowledge pouring forth non stop. 

Will I choose to let love reign? 

Or will I let ego reign? 

Do I need anything apart from myself and god? 

No. 

I no longer needed, wanted. 

I had it all.

Jesus asked the lame – do you want to get well? He meant “do you want to go through the painful transformation of letting go of ego and self pity to become well?”

Release. Release.

What is it you need to release because dear child, everyone and everything around you is simply a reflection of what needs to be changed within you.

Does someone hate you? Maybe you hate yourself. Choose to love yourself.

Does someone owe you money? Maybe you don’t think you’re worthy, choose to be worthy from within and all will be released in perfect time. 

I noticed that day one I was creeped out by an old man in the hostel and now, he no longer bothers me. I was creeped out because he represented my fear of loneliness> what if I was 85 and with no one to love? 

Now that’s a lie. Because whether I’m alone or with someone I am love.

So who in your life represents your fears, joys, love? 

Because you have to be responsible for you. Not anyone else. 

First time throwing up after bad food.

Unfinished business back home.

And where is home. In my heart.

I live out of a duffle bag. 

Last night when a beautiful cascade of ugly remnants came belching out of my stomach, I really thought to myself “omg why am I here”.

We see pictures of beautiful beaches and we want to be there, but what is the reality? 

Sometimes unclean food, bad water, nagging sales people trying to sell you henna tattoos on the beach, headaches, missing macaroni and cheese, chipotle, fries…and here in kata beach, I am missing McDonald’s. I know, sounds ridiculous…but when you’re not a tourist and simply living in different countries, the story is different.

Well, I’m not going to dismiss the fact that yesterday when I was walking aimlessly, my friend from the birthday party that I accidentally walked into gave me a moped ride and later the guy gave me a ride on a stallion around town. A chopper. 

Omg was I in heaven.

And thank god I didn’t throw up then. 

Let’s just say it’s been a heart journey of trusting God.  

On Saturday I walked past a bunch of people eating scrumptious shrimps and seafood and asked them “how much”, they ended up inviting me to eat with them. 

Before you know it I am their honorary american friend who speaks little Thai. 

Everyone here owns a business. Nan owns a papaya salad store, another owns a small bar, then his friend owns a tattoo shop…the Malaysian owns a gift shop…after work everyone drinks together. 

Thais are rather communal and I like that about them. 

    
  
What a beauty