Trigger Points

Hi dad,

I want to tell you how I feel.

I feel ignored by you. I feel like you don’t care about me or my brother. I feel like it doesn’t matter what we think of you because a parent should love their kids no matter what. Brother even thinks that we are not yours because it doesn’t seem like you care about us at all. I’m sometimes scared to say what I really feel because I fear it will push you away. But no kid should fear that. A parent is supposed to love and pursue their kids no matter what. I have tried to contact you and have a relationship you. I’m not asking for much. I’m really tired of trying, I’m exhausted. I just don’t want to have regrets when you die one day. I don’t want to hold onto any bitterness or anger. And I don’t want to talk to you to get told what to do. That’s not why I want to communicate with you.

You keep telling me that I don’t listen, it’s because I want to be heard. I want to be heard because my feelings matter. 33 years of not hearing me, it’s not fair. My feelings matter.

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Putting myself out there has triggered a lot of feelings of rejection. I feel this for some guys too, I feel like they often feel rejected too. I have guy friends that keep trying to contact me, say hi, text hi, but they refuse to call. I don’t know why. We live in a society that people don’t want to communicate anymore. Communication becomes scary because one party has shut down.

You’re not a burden. You’re a gift.

Relationships trigger feelings of rejection and unworthiness. Do you struggle with feeling worthy when you get mistreated by a date?