Growing up I often felt emotionally unsafe. I’d go home but want to leave right away. There was no safe place for me. My mom was constantly nagging or on me about something I was doing wrong. “Don’t leave socks on the floor”. There was always something to do. I could never rest.
I felt exhausted. My go to was boba or something sweet to ease my heart.
Recently I had a lot of divine appointments where they would say something that made me cringe or annoyed. But I didn’t react right away probably because I felt numb.
I grew up in a way where I set aside how I felt to accommodate for what my mom was going through. She was stressed financially, she was tired, it was always about her. So I set myself aside because her drama was already a lot.
I felt anxious when people told me really sad stories. I started to shut down. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I learned to set boundaries. Even today a lyft driver was complaining about Los Angeles and how awful it was. I just told him that I needed some space from anything negative because I was already feeling overwhelmed. I ended up being able to release my emotions on a ride back home.
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