I wish someone told me when I was young….
- I am not responsible for other peoples’ feelings. I don’t have to take care of my mother. It’s not my fault that my mom is mad or upset.
- Have more fun. Don’t live out of guilt or obligation.
- Tell people how you feel. Let people know when you are suffering or struggling.
- You don’t have to carry other peoples’ burdens.
- You are enough.
6. You are beautiful just the way you are.
7. You are STILL beautiful now.
8. You are enough NOW.
9. I will restore to you what the locusts have eaten.
10. It is not too late. God restore to me the energy I would have had in the past.
Today I spent some time with someone who was super young and I started to feel regret….God I wish, I wish….but then I remembered that I am enough now.
God I feel like you took forever to fulfill my promises.
That’s why I felt rushed recently. I felt this pressure on my neck, hurry up hurry up God. When is THIS going to happen? When am I going to meet my husband? When am I going to lose weight? When is this double chin going away (even though it’s not even noticeable to other people)? When…..which is really having a fear of death, or missing the boat.
I am afraid of missing the boat.
Because I feel like God purposely DELAYED everyone of my promises.
So a part of me feels like it’s God’s fault.
You screwed me over, that’s how I feel God.
I have so many dreams God, but sometimes it seems like it just keeps getting delayed.
But I have to remember I am living my dreams now.
- I get to help people by ministering to them, prophesying to them.
- I get to travel
- I am free to roam, I don’t have a schedule usually, I don’t have to sleep at a specific time or wake up at a specific time
- I am free from societal concerns, I trust God with my life, finances, resources.
- I don’t have a fear of what people think (even though it may still come at times).
- I have freedom to take the bus, rent a car, take uber or lyft, I am not tied down to car payments
- I just danced in a parking lot, dancing to Latin music with a new divine appointment
- I got to graffiti in Venice Beach
- I was biking in Venice Beach and met some divine appointments, some nights I scooter on the pier
- I get to see friends during the day when most people work during the day
- I am building a live church organism where people build relationships with each other and are able to work issues out together
- Most of the divine appointments I have I meet while I am doing things I already enjoy like going to the beach, dancing, going to restaurants, etc.
I am reminded that having a husband won’t solve anything.
My God is my all in all.