Showing Need

Showing vulnerability and need is probably the scariest things in life.

Even if he or she is not the one, it’s okay to show and express love and care.

Saying “I want to see you or I enjoy your company” is something that not many people like to show….because of abandonment issues, rejection fears….

What if they don’t want to see me?

What if they don’t care about me?

So we push and pull, we play games, we don’t say what’s really on our minds. We are fearful that people have more expectations of us that we can’t fulfill.

So we hide, in our dark cave.

It’s better to be alone than to tell someone how I actually feel.

“I’m scared, I feel alone, I need help”

WE want to feel prepared for love, when we are perfect, when we have no needs or desires, when we are “perfect”.

But being rocked by love and being hurt is an indication that it is love.

Love reveals your deepest weakness and vulnerabilities and without that, there is no true love.

My longest relationship was 2.5 years, my ex was scared to show his emotions. It was emotionally lonely. I sought emotional support from elsewhere.

My worst fear?

Being too much, being too clingy or needy.

I prided myself in being independent, not needing anyone. Solely “relying on God”. I would say. I was taught that I only needed God, not people.

But that’s a lie. I need people in my life as much as I need God. We are supposed to love people, and that’s a sign of God in us.

I had an imbalance of giving in my life. I always gave, helped others but did not know how to ask for help. I thought of that as “needy”. But that’s exactly what I needed. I needed help, I needed emotional support, I needed financial support too. Now God is balancing the scales.