Open Your Heart Again

Sometimes you just need to tell God how you feel.

God I’m disappointed.

I don’t understand. Why me. I’m hurt. I’m tired of being hurt by others. I’m tired of being attacked. I’m tired of being the victim and not the victor.

I feel dead inside like I’m not here, like I’m not present.

God help me to forgive and overcome. Help me to breakthrough in my heart. I don’t want to stay here, in brokenness. I want to be healed.

I’m tired of these negative patterns in my life. I’m tired of attracting people who don’t love me for who I am. I’m tired of being persecuted and rejected. I’m tired of fighting.

I just want peace. I want to stop and feel you.

God says-

I am here. I am with you.

I’ve never left you. I’m here. I will never leave nor forsake you. I know you’ve been hurt, I know you carried the pain of yesterday but now let’s move on together.

Are you willing to move on?

Are you willing to let go?

I know you were feeling numb within, dead inside but are you willing to feel the pain?

Are you willing to let me in?

Me-

I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m even scared to eat now lest you make me return the food again, lest I eat another dish I hate. To face the fear of judgment and rejection.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Lest God you make me open my heart again and have friends backstab me again.

I can’t take it anymore. Meeting men and then be disappointed again. Oh he’s not it, just passing by.

Nothing in life is for sure.

But it’s our choice to open our hearts and to be vulnerable. Because it’s not about the success rate but if we are willing to open our hearts again.

Are you afraid to be disappointed?

Try again and let the hurt go, day by day.

Everyday.

God- for I will heal your wounds.

God but I hate you right now.

I’ve driven aimlessly trying to find my heart and my desires and it’s not for church, or the beach.

I’m trying to find my heart.

Is it in Mexico, is it in New York or in La?

Is it in a friend or a guy?

No it’s in you Jesus.

But I’m struggling to open my heart to you again. I know it’s not your fault God but can I really trust you.

Why use me to play the bad guy? To tell someone something they don’t want to hear?

I’m just the messenger.

God – you are mine and you will always be.

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