Do you know how it feels to be misunderstood, judged and rejected by the people who are supposed to love and support you?
To be talked about by your family and friends? To be called crazy when you can hardly pay rent but then know you’re supposed to be great, have your relatives talk shit about you because you claim you be Asian Oprah, but your circumstances don’t reflect that.
I lived the classic Joseph tale.
Do you know how it feels to be a burden to your family rather than a gift? And so the only way is to never go home?
Jesus told me to sell everything and follow Him. This led me to get rid of my car, apartment, possessions, even give my money away.
I gave it all away to follow Jesus. The things that mattered to me back then. I broke up with my ex, I blocked people, I cut people off.
I cried everyday. Every week I was putting things on the altar. My dreams to be famous, to be in Hollywood.
I felt everything was taken away from me. I had no laptop, my phone was broken, I was broke. I had given everything away.
My family didn’t respect me. They thought I was crazy.
God led me to go to 14-20 countries by faith. I maxed out a credit card to follow Jesus. I hadn’t fundraised back then.
I knew what would come if I told people what I was doing, by spirit led. Being sold out for Jesus.
Conservatives asked me what church I was with, I said I follow God’s voice.
Atheists called me religious.
Some people yelled at me, called me a false prophet.
Everything you can think of I encountered.
I started praying and prophesying over people. Sharing the love of Jesus with people.
I slept in 12 bed dorms.
I couldn’t sleep some nights.
Some nights I was woken up by spiritual oppression, some nights there were club music downstairs until 4am, some nights people were coming to Jesus in their bunk beds.
I didn’t call my mom for a few months as she just persecuted me.
She yelled at me and told me I was wasting my life. She said I was irresponsible. She said I was crazy.
My heart was broken.
How can people treat me like this when I’m giving my life to set people free?
When you’re ministering to thousands of people, people on buses, roads in South Africa and people are persecuting you back home and even on the road?
I remember walking a lot. My feet have walked the alleys of Thailand, the mountains of Bali, the streets of Perth, the hoarders backpacker central.
I’ve prayed for Europeans. Indonesians, kiwis, Africans, Thai, Malaysians, singaporeans, etc.
What is the message?
I never felt like I was enough but the blood of Jesus made me whole so I am enough because of Jesus sacrifice.
I was crushed and beaten so that the anointing could rest on me.
God would lead me without me knowing how I was going to eat, where I was supposed to sleep and He would lead me to the lost sheep.
Because that was the goal- to gather lost sheep.
Lost sheep were people who didn’t know Jesus and His love yet or were heavily wounded by the church.
I tended their wounds but unfortunately sheep bite back too.
Being a shepherd is not easy.
How could I relate to anyone after that? When you need just $20 more bucks to get on a flight and suddenly God tells you who to ask and then you’re running to the airport because there’s a girl you’re supposed to meet on the plane?
Or when you pray over someone who grew up without a father you tell them they are enough and not lacking?
Or God leads you to someone who tells you they were abused and you deliver them and heal them from feelings of worthlessness.
From suffering to glory.