I saw my parents fighting when I was young and it was embedded in my mind that I will do anything to avoid marrying the wrong person.
I read tons of relationship and marriage books and even though I was in several relationships, I said God no matter what I will listen to you.
I did try to find worth in men’s attention and found value in being loved.
But when I broke up with my ex in 2014 as an act of obedience and faith (and after I tried to date several times) I decided to commit myself to God.
It was difficult because it was my longest relationship of 2.5 years and a big part of why I stayed was fear- I was afraid of the feeling of pain.
I wasn’t afraid to be alone. I had spent most of my life alone so it wasn’t loneliness I feared, it was the pain of separation, the sadness.
It did come but I tried to keep myself busy.
Breaking up with him was one of the best decisions of my life. I’ve grown so much since then. I went to 15 countries with Jesus. I faced danger, loneliness, fear of lack and judgement but God was my husband. He never left nor forsook me.
Jesus is the best guy you’ll ever meet. Ever.
God is enough for you.
We face so much unnecessary pain when we don’t trust God- when we try to find worth and validation from people, a job or a partner.
He is everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. He is reliable. He pushes you to grow. He is faithful, He’ll never cheat on you nor abuse you. He will surprise you. He isn’t complacent nor lazy. He is always working behind the scenes. He knows when you’re being stubborn and He is jealous in a good way. Because He’ll always wait for you to come back. He is loyal, He never condemns you. He is a gentleman.
Before I left Los Angeles to go follow Jesus I had many dreams of being married and having a wedding dress on the airplane.
What God was saying to me was that I was willing to say yes to Him no matter what He called me to.
So I keep stepping out in faith to hold His hand, not because I have to but because I absolutely trust and love Him. Because He has shown Himself trustworthy.
If you still don’t trust God from seeing how He continues to call me forward, you must be blind.
He is the best man you’ll ever meet and He is asking for faithfulness to Him. Don’t go back and forth with Him. Say yes to His hand in marriage. Are you willing to trust Him in good times and bad? Or are you going to bounce when times seem difficult.
I’m talking about making God your husband.
Sure, there are times I’m scared out of my mind but life with Him is adventurous and amazing.
And here’s my appearance on a tv show – where God told me I wouldn’t get picked and I trusted Him and sure enough did not get picked to be the bride. So I trust God.
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