Honor for Dishonor

Isaiah 54

Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,
says the Lord.
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”

I remember the intense persecution and talking behind my back was going on when I decided to leave everything behind and follow Jesus. God had called me into a season of rest after I went on a journey of faith in 2015. I went to Southeast Asia for 4 months. At that point I had given up my apartment and my leased car, because I would no longer work to pay for a car but I’d invest my time into the kingdom.

When I came back Jesus told me to rest. He said I am preparing you. I had to learn to rest while the accuser came through people to make me feel bad about resting.

I started to teach me. He instructed me in praying for people on the streets or on the bus. On Christmas 🎄 there was a mentally ill man on the bus and God said “will you love the least of these even if no one is watching you but me?” Then you’ll understand true love.

I was broken.

I had gone from having a reputation of trying to make it big in my career to being unknown.

When God finally said “go” and minister to those who no one shepherds, in hostels, on the street I encountered the religious spirit in conservative Christians and others.

It was heart wrenching and hurtful to see Christians discredit the Holy Spirit‘s work and power in me just because I wasn’t associated with a church.

“What church are you with?”

I used to answer, I’m with Jesus but now I say I am the church, I’m with Jesus or the church of Jesus Christ.

That is why the Holy Spirit has no power in some people because people don’t believe God is enough for them. They need peoples’ validation and peoples’ affirmation. They need some pastor to tell them “it’s from God” instead of trusting it is God!

They listen to a voice of human authority versus the voice of God.

So when I say “I listen to God’s voiceit’s less valid than if I said “I’m with so and so church?”


So if you’re with a church and there is no fruit of the spirit or no power, it’s better?

I would just shake my head inside.

It grieves me still. That people have no real relationship with God but rather enjoy an external appearance of “holiness” by going to church.

Go on then. Live your lie.

I found myself birthing a ministry in the hardest time of my life. I didn’t know how I would survive. I was in South Africa when God said “it’s time to let people know what you’re doing.” I was scared of judgment from religious conservatives.

I had been judged brutally before and now this?

Since then I’ve “turned” a few people but many are still lost in the facade of religion.

I’ve gained the support of many and have created a group for pioneers who are called to an all in lifestyle.

I’ve stayed at many hostels and have experienced more hardship than I’d ever wish on anyone.

But God has also restored unto me-

1. Honor – by people who truly honor and respect who I am

2. Provision- to resource the vision

3. Worth- I’ve learned to value and honor myself instead of waiting for others to honor me

4. Time- God restored time to me

5. Relationships- in the beginning of my journey in finding lost sheep around the world, I had no friend by my side, even emotionally. God was teaching me to rely on Him alone. I did have a friend who would pray for me but I was pioneering new roads and new ways so it was hard for anyone to understand me.

Since then I’ve reconnected with old friends but have gained new friends through my blog as well as on the road.

I had to contact people for financial support and in doing so, I’ve ministered to those who desire to follow Jesus more wholeheartedly.

Since then many have answered Jesus’ true calling for them!!!

Many have quit their jobs, moved, broken off relationships, jumped into what God is calling them to!

Some of the ways your sowing has reaped!

God told me to buy a meal for this worker at the airport. I didn’t know why but after she wrote me a letter and attached it to my suitcase that I asked her to keep for me.

In addition, lately God has also used me to teach giving and breaking off the spirit of lack. One woman God sent me to – He said “ask her for a donation”. She didn’t budge, I said “give me what you have” and I multiplied it back to her.

I shared that in Christ she is enough and not lacking.

The spirit of poverty and lack was really strong in Samoa. I felt that even though a lot of people were Christian, they were only Christian by tradition and didn’t even know they could hear God’s voice or live in His true power!

I encountered religious spirits and a spirit of intimidation through a man who tried to discredit me. But at the end when this woman gave me this letter, I felt so touched.

Sow a seed-