A New Beginning

He drowns our his pain and guilt with a bottle of beer

It’s a simple way of running away and living in a cycle of pain

Whether it’s my dad or the new neighbor

I’ve seen it all

Men who cannot express their pain, silenced by society and societal expectations.

That is, their hearts are hardened and the only way is God.

I wrote a letter to my dad once “I’ve forgiven you, I hope you can forgive yourself now knowing Jesus forgave you by the cross”.

He has paid for your punishment. He was punished on the cross for our iniquities. The winds of change has come on April 22. I will be leaving New Zealand today. A Sri Lankan neighbor will be dropping me off at the bus station and I will be moving on.

Yesterday the Lord told me “the extra food is for her, she will come”. I see Lord. She did come, a Maori woman.

She had been fighting sicknesses, sinuses, coughing, headaches, cramps. I asked “do you feel shame and guilt?”

Yes she said. She said she asks God to forgive her. I said “if you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart He doesn’t see blemish anymore, He only sees Jesus In you”.

The concept of grace is hard to comprehend but it’s whole and not lacking.

I went from not caring about my dad to forgiving him. So many of my family are bound by the past but I’ve learned to let go.

The whole world is looking for a God who frees them and I’ve met Him- Jesus.

Instead of blaming those around you I want you to say “I no longer blame those around me and I now forgive them. I no longer need to be tied to their toxicity and issues and I now release them to God. I can move on with my life”.

Sometimes the best way to help someone is to release them to God.

You can’t help someone if they’re not willing to change. Change is a choice and God certainly is a gentleman. He won’t force change on anyone. He will ask and He will guide us and if we say yes- the transformation that can occur is astounding.

I went from an impatient, bitter and angry girl surrounded by pain to a woman who can love the most bitter people. That doesn’t mean I compromise my standards and allow myself to be stepped on.

No I listen and succinctly cut to the heart, speaking the words of God into their situation.

Since God gives me wisdom and insight into what’s really going on in their hearts, it’s not my job to be an emotional dumpster- no. I can tell immediately what is really going on.

My job is to pin point exactly what lie needs to be cast out and what truth needs to be spoken over them.

We live out our beliefs and if we don’t realize God’s grace is complete we will continue living in a cycle of self condemnation and guilt.

God’s completely forgiven you, now forgive yourself.

I met a man this week who has a daughter in another country. She is half kiwi and half German. He hasn’t seen her in 6 years. I told her my story of not seeing my dad for 10 years. I said “it’s time to move on”. He had a wall of her photos.

Another day i said “I heard the Lord say you are moving to Germany”. He said “that’s actually the plan, I’d like to see my little girl”.

Stories that are related to mine causes my heart to swell. Oh God your mercies. How broken people are and how much we need healing on this earth. It’s 1:45am and the winds outside is loud and powerful.

I don’t want to be stuck in a cycle of pain anymore, I want to live my life free of my family’s past. I want to move forward just as I’ve told this man to move forward. Though he may not know Jesus yet, I’ve planted a seed.

You deserve happiness.

You deserve a happy life apart from your family’s pain.

Are you ready to fly???

It’s your season! Don’t be scared God is with you! Time to let go of everything that is weighing you down and go after what God has told you!

What if the only thing that is stopping you is your own fear??

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