I am feeling lost
In a sea of faces, staring at me, why don’t you speak Malaysian? Because I’m not. I spilled all my hot sauce today. It was brilliant, why so clumsy. I don’t know, spilt my drink.
Too much matrix?
I can walk with swagger too, don’t think you own the place men.
Anything you can do I can do.
But all I want is a small house in the countryside where I don’t have to face any strangers.
Where no one will tell me what I look like – even if it’s your beautiful.
Let me crawl into a safe space where I don’t have to answer to anyone questioning my origins, who I am, what languages I speak.
Where I don’t have to answer for myself.
It’s exhausting, just leave me be. Please.
I want to stop striving altogether. I don’t want to see any strange men staring at me, I want anonymity, I want to live in a cabin in the woods and write.
Stop harassing me.