Thoughts, Life, and Tea

Being in Taiwan has been really intense, full of memories rescued, tears, thoughts, opinions, dreams, and life in general.

Some thoughts that came to my mind today- I better write it in a poem.

I believe in God.

But sometimes He seems far far away, silence

The silence like that of my own, 10 years. Can you rescue the unsaid, though silent for 10 years?

What can you say? What can you do?

It’s like emotional constipation, it hurts so much, at the end when you can shout, scream, laugh

you can only stare into the rain, the cloudy gloom

and wait for a breakthrough

fear is a funny thing, it crouches at your foot, it snatches the courage you had, in your imagination

all the things you wanted to say, why? and what? and how?

irrelevance

and how, does that translate into my life now?

Whys? Taiwan, a small island of irrelevance.

I AM-

I am but a speck of dust on this big earth

Taiwan, an island floating

I am but a speck floating from place to place

in and out of peoples’ lives, I belong nowhere, I stand nowhere,

I fly and float

Some call it lucky

I call it “the more knowledge the more grief”.

As grief, perspectives combined into persons

Persons, cultures, languages, prejudices

I am, understanding, but hanging outside the periphery

looking in

to the hate, bitterness, that each culture

carries

I can only explain for the other

and love this place

as I wonder, like a wooden nothing

floating into oceans and lands, I am.

We then wonder why there is so much grief, is not each human being marked by the fall, by grief, pain, hurt. Each human, born, soon to be marked by others, as fragile, weak, vulnerable, just a child. We tell others what to do, but our own lives are a mess. We judge and yell. We look down on others, but us, a soiled mess. Is not life fragile, here but gone the next minute? Each second that passes by is a reminder of the brevity of life. Why waste it hating?

People meet me and think I’m stupid and naive. Some think I’m too nice, some too this and that. Maybe I’m too good at acting, or maybe I don’t really care what they think. I am just being me and life is too short to play the people game. Oh, someone please cry me a river, please cry humanity a river. God save the queen.

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