Being in Taiwan has been really intense, full of memories rescued, tears, thoughts, opinions, dreams, and life in general.
Some thoughts that came to my mind today- I better write it in a poem.
I believe in God.
But sometimes He seems far far away, silence
The silence like that of my own, 10 years. Can you rescue the unsaid, though silent for 10 years?
What can you say? What can you do?
It’s like emotional constipation, it hurts so much, at the end when you can shout, scream, laugh
you can only stare into the rain, the cloudy gloom
and wait for a breakthrough
fear is a funny thing, it crouches at your foot, it snatches the courage you had, in your imagination
all the things you wanted to say, why? and what? and how?
and how, does that translate into my life now?
Whys? Taiwan, a small island of irrelevance.
I am but a speck of dust on this big earth
Taiwan, an island floating
I am but a speck floating from place to place
in and out of peoples’ lives, I belong nowhere, I stand nowhere,
I fly and float
Some call it lucky
I call it “the more knowledge the more grief”.
As grief, perspectives combined into persons
Persons, cultures, languages, prejudices
I am, understanding, but hanging outside the periphery
to the hate, bitterness, that each culture
I can only explain for the other
and love this place
as I wonder, like a wooden nothing
floating into oceans and lands, I am.
We then wonder why there is so much grief, is not each human being marked by the fall, by grief, pain, hurt. Each human, born, soon to be marked by others, as fragile, weak, vulnerable, just a child. We tell others what to do, but our own lives are a mess. We judge and yell. We look down on others, but us, a soiled mess. Is not life fragile, here but gone the next minute? Each second that passes by is a reminder of the brevity of life. Why waste it hating?
People meet me and think I’m stupid and naive. Some think I’m too nice, some too this and that. Maybe I’m too good at acting, or maybe I don’t really care what they think. I am just being me and life is too short to play the people game. Oh, someone please cry me a river, please cry humanity a river. God save the queen.