I reached a breakthrough yesterday, this was better than any worldly increase, any publicity, getting on TV, being validated by a news channel, Vogue, Forbes, nothing like that…it wasn’t a man kneeling on his knees and telling me how much he loved me, no no no….this was way bigger than that….this was LOVE.
Well, how could it be love if it wasn’t with a romantic partner?
My heart was seen and I was heard, and I was loved anyway. That is love.
Yesterday I sat on the floor spilling my guts to my friend….as we talked about all the people we needed to forgive, especially family members that never gave us the love we needed, I realized that we both needed to feel accepted and LOVED…and most of all to feel safe. Without safety there is no trust, when there is no trust there is no freedom to be yourself, to express your true feelings.
We prayed and I also gave my burdens to God. You see, if God is love then love is God. Love is supreme.
The world tells us that LOVE is LUST, Love is not lust, physical attraction wanes BIG TIME. LOVE is not attraction either, because I can be attracted to a thousand guys, LOVE is not exclusive within a romantic relationship…
Here are the things I believe love is:
1. Forgiveness, knowing that we are not perfect and others aren’t
2. Vulnerability, having the freedom to open your heart to someone and trust that they will not judge but accept you (with someone that you have known and built trust with).
3. Communication, believing that connection is KEY and that your goal is to connect and not disconnect.
4. Service, having an attitude of “how can I help you” and be a support for you in this tough time.
5. Patience, having the patience to love someone when they are like porcupines, purposely hurting you out of protection for themselves.
Even though we stayed up until 3am drinking fine whiskey, I found myself awake at 10am desiring to POUR all of what I learned into this blog…I hope that our world will start to see what love really is. I’m tired of seeing friends suffer and young people strive for the type of “counterfeit love” that is conditional.
I have gained the whole world by knowing that I am loved and that I can feel secure in a friendship. Relationships mean the world to me especially since I never felt safe to express myself in my own family. How about you? Do you have that kind of friend, do you have that kind of family (even non-related ones)? I hope you do, and if you don’t, know that the first step is to forgive anyone that has hurt you in the past and to know that you are loved unconditionally by the God who created you.
I know this season of my life is preparing me for my life partner because without the ability to communicate well with a friend, I wouldn’t be able to communicate with a partner. I have also been learning how to reject guys with grace and honor. This isn’t always easy when they are persistent and wanting to cross your emotional boundaries…that’s when you set a line and perhaps block their numbers, because you should never feel unsafe.
This is also training for my big international business…whenever I’m traveling or going anywhere, men hit on me wherever I go. I have to learn to politely decline their consideration without hurting their ego or make them feel like they’re not good enough…since there’s only one person I’m going to be with, it’s a matter of “you’re not that person”, and my purpose is fulfilled together with “that person”, not you.
To love, may you find friends, family and people in your life that you can lay the shit out and still know you are loved.