Guilt Binds, Love Sets Free

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes do this thing where I guilt-trip people in such a subtle way that I don’t even realize it myself. And vice versa, and don’t we just hate it!

“Oh well fine, go hang out with her instead of me”- person says.

“you treat me like the devil, you run away from me whenever you can”- says parent.

And so on. But yesterday, as I was sleeping, I had another dream…this dream showed me how GUILT BINDS, BUT LOVE SETS FREE.

As imperfect human beings, WE ALL HAVE certain EXPECTATIONS of what certain people should do for us, or be to us. Well, our parents should do this and that, they didn’t love us this or that way…our friends should ALWAYS be there for us, our boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t DO this or that…the complaints continue and as we complain, our view of that person continues to dilapidate into shreds.

Meanwhile, we become negative, we carry negative energy, we complain all the time and only see the negative aspects in our lives.

GUILT derives from a deep-gutted feeling that “wow I didn’t do what was expected of me”.  I hear this a lot “I felt bad, so I…”. Then later, we complain because we didn’t want to do something in the first place, we put the blame on the other person.

But when we live in guilt, we live in bitterness, not an unconditional, freeing love. We live in a way where we are attempting to PLEASE people, not LOVE them. If we really love someone, we would be TRUTHFUL to ourselves and to them. The truth really does set us free (said right, not in a critical demeaning way).

A SIMPLE SOLUTION, too easy to say, yet so hard to do: LET GO

Sweet surrender they call it. It means letting go of HOW, WHEN, WHAT, WHERE even WHO. It means letting go of logic and trusting God to guide you to your destiny. It means saying “I’m a daughter/son of the universe and a higher being will take care of me”.

Letting go means relaxing, enjoying life and letting go of things you couldn’t control in the first place. Though the modern world likes to shove the idea that everything attained is strived for, I like to prove otherwise.

YOU cannot force someone to do things for you, to love you, to romance or even care for you. NO ONE is responsible for taking care of you. What does that mean? Parents take care of us because they love us, not because they have to. No one is responsible for your well being except God.

Lastly, accept all things as GIFTS, not expected actions of love. 

Love, my friend, is a gift. If you let go of expectations, YOU will become more grateful, more thankful, more loving, more alive. You will complain less and count your blessings more.

When we allow people to be themselves, we allow them to give to society the gift that they are. Maybe you do see flaws in someone and want to change them for the better- trust me,  something WILL happen when the time is right, that something will wake them up to make the appropriate changes (you are not god, YOU only need to be the unconditionally loving YOU that you are). How people are should not affect your own happiness; for happiness comes from within.

Please comment! I super appreciate it! Tell me how love has set you free in your life?? 

Life The Romance

I’m pretty upset because I spent a whole 30 minutes or more typing up a blog post and of course, I was impatient and kept clicking publish, but the internet slowed and somehow I closed it without saving it. This is a writer’s worse nightmare.

I had such good words to share, but now I’m not in the mood for it.

I’ll be straight up then- I met a friend in Melbourne who inspired beauty in my heart. His smile and carefree laughs, jumping on the street for no reason made me realize that “Man! I’m not alone!”. Our mutual love for music, dance, street art, and nice areas to lounge sparked a friendship that would potentially last for life. He stirred up beauty in my heart and I will always remember him for it. He also taught me to grasp each moment and cherish the now. This is so contrary to American culture, and I could only have learned that from a French person- to live life with passion and zest.

In America, I feel, sometimes it’s so easy to be talking to another person, and checking your phone at the same time. It’s so easy to bypass another person without a second thought. It’s easy to go from one appointment to another without actually “THINKING”. OMG BIG SURPRISE. It’s so true because I was once like that. I hate that. I really do. How can you live life without being aware of self, others, and your atmosphere? How can you live life without being “here” and in the “now”? How can you constantly worry about the future when “now” is all you have?

I’ve learned that on my trip, I’ve experienced it. You can only experience “just being” by being in the moment, by experiencing being, being aware of the sounds, the smells, the persons, the environment, by being where you are in the now.

Mon Melbourne Cherie

Found in a bathroom in Melbourne toilet. 🙂