Tag: christian

Loving Someone Who Won’t Commit To Me

On By Rebekka LienIn Uncategorized2 Comments

I felt your absence, I felt the silence, I felt numbness in my heart. I could not feel but only the simple gratification of someone else showing up for me when in my heart I just wanted you to show up.

Someone else came to fill the void.

I pretended it didn’t matter but I felt a sword stabbing me deep in my heart…if I just numb my pain I won’t feel hurt but I felt hurt, I felt pain.

My body and heart was yours but I wonder if your heart is mine. Or if it’s wandering away in search of protection. I can only cry my eyes out searching for your heart.

The heart that is guarded and walled off.

You tell me to leave but my heart still wants to stay. I feel desperate, I feel pathetic. Yet my heart keeps loving the one that doesn’t seem to want me. I tell myself, he will come around, he will love me, he does love me.

I want to be chosen, not the second priority, not an afterthought.

I want to feel special, like nothing else matters to you.

I want the final rose.

And yet, I still believe, even if you are not the one, there is another one. Because I keep staring at myself in the mirror, a voice tells me “you’re worth it”.

You’re worth a million roses, you’re worth the world, you’re worth a man dying for you, you’re worth the sacrifice. If Jesus died for you, then look at your worth. You’re worth it.

I’m worth the commitment.

I’m worth someone committing to me.

I’m worth it.

My relationships did not work out in the past and I honestly don’t know how to make them work. I blame myself for them not working, but I know it’s not my fault. God is doing a work in you and I, it’s a process, don’t blame yourself. Love is hard at times, but it’s worth it. Keep going-you’re worth it.

“Rebekka Lien is a multi-talented individual who was born in Hamburg, Germany and has lived in Taiwan and now America. She is an actress, writer, comedian, musician, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Growing up with a single mother, she learned the value of hard work and determination from a young age. Rebekka is a true creative force to be reckoned with.”

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Testimony Of Not Seeing My Dad for 10 Years

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

My testimony of how I didn’t see my dad for 10 years.

I felt like a burden growing up, I felt like I wasn’t enough.

I hope this video helps you feel your heart.

“Rebekka Lien is a multi-talented individual who was born in Hamburg, Germany and has lived in Taiwan and now America. She is an actress, writer, comedian, musician, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Growing up with a single mother, she learned the value of hard work and determination from a young age. Rebekka is a true creative force to be reckoned with.”

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I’m Debt Free! This Is My Testimony!

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

God is good. A few years ago I was buried in debt and I couldn’t pay it off anymore. He told me to stop paying it and He asked me to follow His kingdom, not this world. I was at church and He told me give my $200 to church, to just trust Him. He told me “whose house are you building?” I was trying to live a normal life, like get a house and car and all that, but not knowing that His plans were way funner and freer. He has led me to so many people with like minded hearts and to do way funner things than sit at a 9 to 5.

I went around the world ministering to people and prophesying. I went with the Spirit and had to ask for help and connect with people.

I felt a lot of guilt for a few years because I felt guilty for being in debt but then I heard this song “I’ve paid off your debts”. I thought everything got written off but then I got a letter saying they’re suing me.

I didn’t show up in court because I thought I could ignore it. I remember the lawyer talking to me and he made me feel super guilty about opening a TJMAXX card.

He said “I see that you just opened a TJ Maxx card, then why don’t you pay us back”. I said “because they had 10% off and I’ve been paying all my bills on time”. To be honest, I felt so frustrated I started yelling at him because I felt like he was trying to guilt trip me. I felt alone and lost.

Long story short I found this law firm (I simply googled) who helped me get a bankruptcy and I was disbursed of all debt. A lot of people feel ashamed about talking about debt and finances but I believe there is freedom in talking about things that you feel ashamed about. The process took me a few months.

My mother told me to be responsible and pay it off but I knew in my heart I had to be released of it, and that I could be forgiven of my debt.

This is the verse my paralegal told me that set me free. He spoke freedom into my heart and made me feel less guilty about getting a bankruptcy. I am truly thankful to the law firm that took my case on. They did a really great job and no it’s not an ad but if you want to be referred, just message me on Instagram.

I grew up thinking bankruptcies were horrible but even after I stopped paying off my debt, returned a leased car before the payments were done and my credit dropped really low…I never even needed a credit score. God’s WAYS are higher than our ways.

“At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel the loan he has made to his fellow Israelite. He shall not require payment from his fellow Israelite or brother, because the LORD’s time for canceling debts has been proclaimed.” Deuteronomy 15

“Rebekka Lien is a multi-talented individual who was born in Hamburg, Germany and has lived in Taiwan and now America. She is an actress, writer, comedian, musician, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Growing up with a single mother, she learned the value of hard work and determination from a young age. Rebekka is a true creative force to be reckoned with.”

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I Didn’t See My Dad For 10 Years and Battled Depression

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and everyday I think about him. So far, I haven’t seen him for 4 years. I’ve talked to him for a total of 10 minutes in the 4 years I haven’t seen him. Each time I have to fly to Taiwan to see him and he disappears for a few days. I see him whenever he wants to pop up.

Each day I do feel sadness in my heart but I replace that sadness by interacting with people and socializing. Meeting people with the same story helps me feel a sense of peace.

I know God put me on this earth to help people who are also struggling with feeling unworthy or depressed because of their situation with their parents.

There is definitely an aching in my heart but the encouragement of strangers and people I meet help my heart open.

I try not to stay home, it makes me feel depressed. I go out and interact with people, life, the outdoors. My boyfriend and I often travel and meeting likeminded people helps us forgive the past and move foward each day. I’m truly grateful for him.

“Rebekka Lien is a multi-talented individual who was born in Hamburg, Germany and has lived in Taiwan and now America. She is an actress, writer, comedian, musician, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Growing up with a single mother, she learned the value of hard work and determination from a young age. Rebekka is a true creative force to be reckoned with.”

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Rebekka

Rebekka Lien Appears on Karamo Show

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hi everyone, I wanted to share this video which was released today on KTLA 5. As you know my journey with healing from issues with my dad and men have been a long long journey. My heart was really closed off to men for a long time. I hated men to be honest. I would feel wounded about one thing that a guy did and hold onto hate.

God had to heal me and it’s been a LONG LONG journey for those who have been following my blog FOR A LONG TIME.

I always wanted to get married and I am still waiting until marriage, I VOW to GOD and JESUS and I believe God is doing the healing even now.

If you are going through what I’m going through, you are NOT ALONE. My dad was not there for me, he was an absent and avoidant father who constantly disappointed me. He is an alcoholic and has an addiction.

I wanted to also share THIS video from years ago where I talked about receiving love and being afraid to reject or disappoint people.

For a lot of my life, I lived to please others and had a hard time speaking my mind. I wanted people to like me and had a hard time standing up for myself.

I’m so blessed to have the opportunities I’ve had to heal and be on tv shows in the last year. God used every opportunity to heal my heart from an absence of love in my life. Even though I went through a lot with my boyfriend, he has also healed from his issues.

I hope these videos heal your heart.

Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y

Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/

https://rebekkalien.com/

https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

tiktok.com/@rebekkalien

https://youtube.com/channel/UC0KPVREYdYVPnfzhuO-E_fg

Date Til You Drop Online Event

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
Sign up here!

https://couple.com/signup/?r=rebekkalien

Hosting Tomorrow On Couple.com

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
Please click here to sign up! And remember to use a chrome browser! See you online! It is 4pm Pacific if you live on west coast.

Also check out my interview with Award Winning Filmmaker!

Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y


Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/https://rebekkalien.com/
https://instagram.com/rebekkalien
tiktok.com/@rebekkalien

Free Online Speed Dating

On By Rebekka LienIn dating, lifecoach, love, relationship, RelationshipsLeave a comment

Hi everyone!

Are you struggling to meet friends or make a genuine connection with someone romantically?

I’ve tried Couple TV twice and really love it and wanted to share it with you. I’m promoting for them and will also be a host next week! I’m so psyched! I met people from Seattle, Carolina, Canada, I even met another actor who had a podcast. It has been a great way to build community and put myself out there.

Here’s the online free speed dating event sign up for today! Please stay the entire event and fill out the questionnaire at the end! Remember to use Chrome Browser only! Enjoy and have fun. Let me know if you have any questions. Sign up here!

Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y

Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/

https://rebekkalien.com/

https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

tiktok.com/@rebekkalien

https://youtube.com/channel/UC0KPVREYdYVPnfzhuO-E_fg

My Non-Existent Relationship With My Father Vs. Romantic Relationships

On By Rebekka LienIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

When I see a father and daughter at the mall, a part of me feels abandoned, neglected, unwanted. I don’t remember that, I don’t remember ever having my father in my life. Maybe when I was really young. But that sense of belonging and desire to be protected, secure, to be loved, it’s always been a longing that I couldn’t name.

A part of my heart shut down and I became very numb and depressed. I couldn’t even open up to certain people because my emotions were shut down. My heart would come alive when felt heard and loved.

Sometimes you want love from a person who is also unable to give you that type of love.

I think a part of me always wanted to get married because I would finally feel safe and I wouldn’t have to vie for attention or ask for it. Yet, I started to realize that longing and desire in my heart to be loved first came from being neglected by my father.

No man can fulfill that role. And my heart continues to break, not in bad way, but in a way that says “I’m grieving my relationship with my dad”. I’m grieving his “death” even though he is alive. I’m grieving the non-existent relationship I had with him.

And these feelings come when we so want a man/woman to love us.

We experience a dose of love and our souls just want more, but sometimes it ends….because that person is going to work or has other duties. Their life can’t just be about you.

Sometimes I hear that people don’t want to spend only a little time with someone because they would go home depressed or feeling alone…I’ve experienced that. That dose of love is so good that I wouldn’t want to experience it at all.

So many of us are scared to experience love because we’re scared to lose it.

I was like this.

I’d rather not love than to be disappointed.

My heart has been experiencing a deep revealing.

I’m scared of love because I’m scared to be abandoned. I’m scared of being disappointed. This is a life long trauma that stemmed from not seeing my dad for 10 years from 8-18, and then later I would see my dad once every few years.

It was always the feeling of vying for attention and never getting it. The moments of attention were great but it would fade, and he would disappear for a few days. And then suddenly I’d go back to America and he would disappear without calls or texts for another two years. My experience of a man’s love was full of disappointment, it was an avoidant love.

And I kept experiencing that kind of love in my romantic relationships. Guys who needed space, guys who didn’t want to feel their emotions.

But I keep learning from myself and my relationship. Feel your emotions, state your emotions, you are where you need to be. You are learning what you need to learn now.

Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y

Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/

https://rebekkalien.com/

https://instagram.com/rebekkalien

tiktok.com/@rebekkalien

https://youtube.com/channel/UC0KPVREYdYVPnfzhuO-E_fg