I woke up from a dream where God was telling me not to be afraid of men.
In this dream I was driving an uber and there was a guy in the back with a guitar. I asked if he was British and he told me to park as he was photographing.
Growing up I often heard my mother talk bad about my dad. “He is a bad person, he cheated on me”.
I read books about men taking women captive and selling them to human trafficking, I learned about rape, and everything that was bad. I also met good men of course. I had great examples of men that were great husbands at church.
But my father’s absence caused me to dwell on hatred a lot. There were times I felt his absence and it felt like a stone in my heart.
God has been healing that wound my whole life. It’s easy to harden my heart, I want to propose to you that if you didn’t grow up with a certain parent that you may feel hatred towards a certain gender or person. Not everyone is like that.
Not everyone is going to abandon you. I’ve been going through some intense healing. Learning to trust people again is not easy, I’ve gone through some betrayal in my life. It’s been tough. I lost friends just because I told them how I felt about certain things in their life. I was only telling my truth, not out of judgement.
In this season,
Learn to trust again,
learn to let people in,
learn to love again. I dare you!
You can do it.
Sending you lots of love.
THE MESSAGE I got growing up was that men were not to be trusted, that I did not need one and that I should try to be independent. This caused a lot of damage in my heart because I became really guarded and never really let men in. My brother also left our house and disappeared. He was my best friend and he disappeared from my life, it caused even more issues of abandonment.
But I had to learn to open my heart again.
Silence, another call out of hundreds, no reply. My heart feels numb. My heart felt numb for much of my childhood. I only saw my dad after 10 years of not seeing him or talking to him.
When I got older I started to pursue a relationship with him. It was endless calling, no replies. For 2 years, silence.
I was used to the silence and the silence numbed me. But when I called, I’d feel my heart, it was me trying.
I felt fear I guess you can say. The numbness was a sort of fear saying that “you don’t deserve love”, and you will never get reciprocation. And if that’s the case what was the point of trying. So I didn’t really try in other areas of my life, until I started to want to feel.
I wanted to feel everything, the tears, the disappointment, I wanted to no longer feel numb. I wanted to feel happiness. I wanted to feel anger.
And I needed to call, I needed to say how I felt, I didn’t want to live in witchcraft anymore. I wanted to feel everything.
So I started to say how I felt, to anyone and anything and my heart broke open and the tears came, I cry at least once a day. That meant I needed to do things that scared me, to say how I felt, to do things that terrify me, to tell the truth. To be punished for telling the truth, to face the hard things, the things that made me feel guilty, ashamed, to say anything and everything.
This year, I’ve conquered many giants. I’ve been on several YouTube and tv shows, I’ve been on many projects, I’ve done things that scared me and I’ve followed my heart. I’ve gone to court, I’ve spoken to judges and attorneys, I’ve laid out my deck of cards and everything I’ve got.
There’s no more fear left in me.
Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y
Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/
https://instagram.com/rebekkalien
https://youtube.com/channel/UC0KPVREYdYVPnfzhuO-E_fg
Rebekka Lien is an actress, stand up comedian, and prophet. She has been on reality show TLC Married By Mom and Dad, Design Genius, Culture Shock, Liquid Death commercial, 100 Things travel show, America’s Court, He Gets Us commercial, Let’s Make A Deal, Music videos with Dababy, Cosas De La Vida, Psychward Druggies, and appeared on Alpharad’s YouTube channel, pranked by Jay Kinda Funny, Riceman and much more. She has performed as a stand up comedian at Haha Comedy Club, Hotel Cafe and many other venues. She is also a music composer for films.
Also check out my interview with Award Winning Filmmaker!
Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y
Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/
https://instagram.com/rebekkalien
https://youtube.com/channel/UC0KPVREYdYVPnfzhuO-E_fg
Fashion designs-https://rebekkalien.com/art/fashion-designs/
Sign up for the event tomorrow!
I’m excited to be the host tomorrow for a speed dating event for Couple.com. I hope to see you there!
Hi everyone!
Are you struggling to meet friends or make a genuine connection with someone romantically?
I’ve tried Couple TV twice and really love it and wanted to share it with you. I’m promoting for them and will also be a host next week! I’m so psyched! I met people from Seattle, Carolina, Canada, I even met another actor who had a podcast. It has been a great way to build community and put myself out there.
Here’s the online free speed dating event sign up for today! Please stay the entire event and fill out the questionnaire at the end! Remember to use Chrome Browser only! Enjoy and have fun. Let me know if you have any questions. Sign up here!
Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y
Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/
Hey everyone!
I’ll be doing my onboarding call this week and I’m so excited to let you know that I will be selling on Whatnot.
Here’s $200 if you register and sell on the website as well!
Here’s $10 for your first purchase on Whatnot!
I’m excited as tomorrow I’m going to be on a YouTube reality show and it’ll be tons of fun I’m sure. Hope you are doing well today, God bless you!
Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y
Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/
When I see a father and daughter at the mall, a part of me feels abandoned, neglected, unwanted. I don’t remember that, I don’t remember ever having my father in my life. Maybe when I was really young. But that sense of belonging and desire to be protected, secure, to be loved, it’s always been a longing that I couldn’t name.
A part of my heart shut down and I became very numb and depressed. I couldn’t even open up to certain people because my emotions were shut down. My heart would come alive when felt heard and loved.
Sometimes you want love from a person who is also unable to give you that type of love.
I think a part of me always wanted to get married because I would finally feel safe and I wouldn’t have to vie for attention or ask for it. Yet, I started to realize that longing and desire in my heart to be loved first came from being neglected by my father.
No man can fulfill that role. And my heart continues to break, not in bad way, but in a way that says “I’m grieving my relationship with my dad”. I’m grieving his “death” even though he is alive. I’m grieving the non-existent relationship I had with him.
And these feelings come when we so want a man/woman to love us.
We experience a dose of love and our souls just want more, but sometimes it ends….because that person is going to work or has other duties. Their life can’t just be about you.
Sometimes I hear that people don’t want to spend only a little time with someone because they would go home depressed or feeling alone…I’ve experienced that. That dose of love is so good that I wouldn’t want to experience it at all.
So many of us are scared to experience love because we’re scared to lose it.
I was like this.
I’d rather not love than to be disappointed.
My heart has been experiencing a deep revealing.
I’m scared of love because I’m scared to be abandoned. I’m scared of being disappointed. This is a life long trauma that stemmed from not seeing my dad for 10 years from 8-18, and then later I would see my dad once every few years.
It was always the feeling of vying for attention and never getting it. The moments of attention were great but it would fade, and he would disappear for a few days. And then suddenly I’d go back to America and he would disappear without calls or texts for another two years. My experience of a man’s love was full of disappointment, it was an avoidant love.
And I kept experiencing that kind of love in my romantic relationships. Guys who needed space, guys who didn’t want to feel their emotions.
But I keep learning from myself and my relationship. Feel your emotions, state your emotions, you are where you need to be. You are learning what you need to learn now.
Reel Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnGlbjqzx_Y
Reel-https://rebekkalien.com/about/links/
Rebekka Lien 