I woke up from a dream where God was telling me not to be afraid of men.

In this dream I was driving an uber and there was a guy in the back with a guitar. I asked if he was British and he told me to park as he was photographing.

Growing up I often heard my mother talk bad about my dad. “He is a bad person, he cheated on me”.

I read books about men taking women captive and selling them to human trafficking, I learned about rape, and everything that was bad. I also met good men of course. I had great examples of men that were great husbands at church.

But my father’s absence caused me to dwell on hatred a lot. There were times I felt his absence and it felt like a stone in my heart.

God has been healing that wound my whole life. It’s easy to harden my heart, I want to propose to you that if you didn’t grow up with a certain parent that you may feel hatred towards a certain gender or person. Not everyone is like that.

Not everyone is going to abandon you. I’ve been going through some intense healing. Learning to trust people again is not easy, I’ve gone through some betrayal in my life. It’s been tough. I lost friends just because I told them how I felt about certain things in their life. I was only telling my truth, not out of judgement.

In this season,

Learn to trust again,

learn to let people in,

learn to love again. I dare you!

You can do it.

Sending you lots of love.

THE MESSAGE I got growing up was that men were not to be trusted, that I did not need one and that I should try to be independent. This caused a lot of damage in my heart because I became really guarded and never really let men in. My brother also left our house and disappeared. He was my best friend and he disappeared from my life, it caused even more issues of abandonment.

But I had to learn to open my heart again.