Healing The Father Wound

I tried submitting this to a secular website but apparently writing anything about God is considered offensive, so I’m glad I have my own blog.

I’m learning more about what I want from a relationship with my life partner. I learned that a lot of my past relationships were formed out of brokenness in my heart. I was looking for attention, for validation. I needed and wanted someone to validate me- to tell me I am worthy of love.

But I realize a relationship that is based out of your relationship with Jesus, has no lack.

I don’t mean that is it perfect, no; I mean that there’s no need for codependency – which is what a lot of my past relationships looked like.

The guy had mommy issues and I had daddy issues. I was looking for a dad and he was looking for a mom.

A mom gives rides to boys, a mom cooks for their son, a mom comforts their son; I am not looking for a son, I’m looking for a man.

I also didn’t have the financial security of growing up with a father. In fact, I started working when I was 8 years old selling toys after school. I had an entrepreneurial spirit and knew how to make and save money. I soon only found self worth in finance and accomplishments. I also got a lot of attention from men so it was easy to be misled thinking attention was love.

From the age of 8 to 18 I didn’t see my dad. My family immigrated to America from Taiwan when I was 8. I completely lost contact with my dad except for the few times my mother asked me to email my dad for rent money.

When I was 12 years I received Jesus into my heart and found an incredible sacrificial love. This God who loved me could die for me? I wept in my chair at a church retreat. I could feel the tangible love of God in my heart.

But now only at the age of 31 am I feeling the fulfillment of all the healing that took place in my life.

I was really fucked up. Honestly.

I didn’t deserve to be there, that’s how I felt.

God started to show me who I am.

He told me that I am a child of God and that He died on the cross for me so I could attain a position as His daughter. He would never leave nor forsake me. I could handle that. That’s a promise I was willing to receive.

Since everyone had failed and forsaken me, I was willing to trust Him.

Almost 20 years later, I have never seen God fail me. Sure I lost a lot of friends and seen my lifetime of heart aches and heart breaks but He would always whisper, “I’m here, I’m here with you”.

Recently I had to set some boundaries with a guy I knew wasn’t quite it. I loved the companionship and the moments we had together, but I also knew that I wanted more. I don’t want someone I met for a week who doesn’t have the same calling and purpose in life. I want someone who hears God and obeys with me.

I want someone who can grow with me, follow the Spirit with me, not slow me down. I hate goodbyes but I often find myself saying hello and goodbye over and over again.

I’m ready to meet my lifetime partner. I know He won’t be Jesus. I know that we will fight and argue at times. I know he won’t fulfill all my hearts’ desires, but I know he isn’t supposed to.

But I know what I want now. I know what I deserve. I know I deserve the best, not an emotional or physically absent man. I know I deserve a man who will rock with me, go places with me, be by my side. I don’t want a man who I met overseas and does not have the same purpose in life. I don’t want an addition, I want a partner. I don’t want us to have contrasting careers, I want us to change and travel the world together. I want us to compliment in our purpose and destiny.

I want an emotionally, spiritually and physically present man.

It’s possible. Do you believe?

I believe. I hope you will walk this journey with me. Let’s believe together. Let’s not settle for less. Let’s believe for the best because we deserve it.

Consider sowing a seed into souls and into what God is doing through me to set captives free, proclaim the year of freedom and heal the sick. Thanks for your contribution and continual support and prayers to touch lives by the blood of Jesus!

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I’m currently in Thailand. God is calling me day by day so I have no idea where I’ll be but thank you to all who continue to give and pray for me. Your prayers and giving are much appreciated!

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About Rebekka’s Ministry

In 2015 the Lord said I was a pastor to the lost sheep. I sold everything to follow Jesus. I got rid of my car and apartment to follow Jesus each day at a time and ended up returning home for 2 years. During that time the Lord trained me in rest. He said you are a child of God, First and foremost.

You are not defined by your career or your marriage status. You are not defined by how much you have but on who you are in Christ Jesus.

About my ministry-

Last year since July I spent one year on the road as the Holy Spirit Led, praying and prophesying over people. Some people I met were not Christians some were.

For the Christians I often prayed no condemnation over them and had to explain the grace of God as churches don’t teach grace, they often teach works.

God has called me to-

1. People who don’t go to church

2. Outcasts, artists, misfits, people who desire freedom and are not finding it in religion or society, I share about how Jesus came to free us not give us rules. I share the freeing grace of God to free them from death and fear!

3. Atheists, agnostics and nonchristians

4. Religious bond Christians that live under condemnation- my job is to break the spirit of condemnation and guilt as Jesus’ blood has paid for us to be free!

God calls me to –

1. Unlock the seeds of destinies and dreams in people. I prophesy dreams they’ve always dreamed of or don’t even know about yet! Most are too afraid to chase after their dreams, they don’t believe it can be done.

I’ve called people into starting ministries,writing books, starting businesses, playing music, becoming politicians, whatever I see in visions or whatever I hear God say I will release it to people. Sometimes I run after people in malls or on the streets if God says to do so.

I speak into people’s situations and give them God given solutions out of their stuck place.

Most are shocked at the accuracy and are grateful for an answer from heaven.

I also pastor them continually. Some people pastor people in a building, but I pastor people all around the world. I am building God’s church. We live in a big world where we can easily connect via the web. Praise God for that.

2. Help encourage and nurture the dreams God has called them to. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes the next month they listen to God and act upon the prophesied. If I hear God say something I will tell them.

3. Bring people to the knowledge of Jesus Christ and His saving grace. I have led many to Christ.

I am a prophet, apostle and evangelist. Sometimes I’m also a singer and creative, sometimes I’m a runner because I have to run to catch buses or flights.

More and more people are becoming interested in what I do as they discover that they are children of God and can live in the freedom God has for them.

I don’t go to church, I am the church. I am building the church around the world and am being led by the spirit as I prepare the world for Jesus’ return.

I’m a female version of Paul. I help people start their dreams and encourage them along the way. And I will go where the spirit leads me no matter the cost. I live out of a suitcase what can I say? There are key individuals that are open to Jesus, and God leads me to them.

Will you be part of this movement? Consider giving to this movement and seeing lives transformed. And know that when God leads I also pray and prophesy over my partners because you are part of the church. You are the arms and body, I’m the feet and mouth maybe.

But we are not apart from each other. We need each other more than ever.

And when you’re in need of prayer or help, do let me know. We are in it together.

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This family literally just came to me and asked to take photos with me. They are of the Jainism faith and I got to share Jesus with them. In India.

Prophetic Word- LAUNCH!

I feel very heavily in my spirit the word to launch. I’ve already launched and pioneered a ministry for over a year. I went through the quit my job, sell everything and follow Jesus phase but today God started to speak to me about peoples’ destinies and callings and I started messaging people what God was saying.

It was in addition to what I already told them.

Many of you have been in seasons of hiding and pain and you’re afraid to come out.

But God actually wants to use that pain to be glorified. Some of you He has called to write and speak about your experiences, no matter how traumatic they are.

If you’ve been through abortions, abuse, cheating, been the cheater, been in painful relationships, had miscarriages, lost a loved one, etc God wants you to speak about it. You’ve been judged? You’ve been in judgmental churches? You have felt shame, guilt and condemnation? Talk about it.

You’ve messed up and been on drugs, got off and went to rehab? Was in an abusive relationship?

By coming out you’ll be healed and so will thousands of others. God wants you to be free from your pain.

It’s your seed. Your ministry!

Are you ready??? Launch!

It’s time to let go of everything that sounds like plan b and go all in on the plan A God has called you to. That may mean quitting your job, moving or booking a one way flight. He’s got you!

It’s time to launch-

Sow a seed.

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Divine Appointment in Goa

Today I arrived in Goa and was feeling a bit worried about the future. See worry always robs us of our present.

But when I arrived to the guesthouse I decided to walk around and just heard God say “stay around here”. Remember every place I stay at is clearly pointed out by God. There is never one place I stay at where I pick it based on location or price, God always tells me exactly which one to pick because of the divine appointments there or nearby.

So I didn’t go far. I noticed a doubletree hotel and decided to go in and sit around. I also noticed a pool.

The night before I had a dream I was swimming and got out to shower but then fell back in the pool and was annoyed. I thought I should build the exit closer instead of having to swim and get wet again.

I also dreamed I dove deep and saw two seals except they were hairy men and they were being photographed. The dream was so vivid I woke up.

Anyways I went back to my guesthouse and after awhile felt like I should eat out. Once again I felt led to go back near doubletree hotel and felt led to eat at a restaurant nearby (like the dream where I go back to swim).

After I heard God say “get a drink”. I thought that’s strange I haven’t wanted to drink for so long. When I went to order a drink I saw the pool and decided that I had to swim, so I ran back to the guesthouse and changed. I ran back to doubletree for the 3rd time. I had just dyed my hair and didn’t want to get my hair wet the day before but there was a boldness in my spirit.

I talked to the pool attendant for awhile, revealing to him that I was not staying there.

Then I suddenly had the urge for chocolate cake. After some time one of the bartenders suggested I eat at the bar as there were too many mosquitoes.

This led me to eat at the bar and I started talking to the bartender.

“I see you traveling and going to London!” I said. A vision flashed before me.

He said he loves English people. He wants to get a brutish citizenship. I said anything is possible. We talked for about an hour or more and he said he was Muslim, I told him that Jesus loves Him and died on the cross for Him.

I also told him that he should write and start a blog as God showed me a vision of him writing.

I am amazed at how God leads me to the people that need a prophetic word and a touch from heaven.

I feel fresh courage today because to be honest I felt so much lack and intimidation the last few days. I had thoughts that slowed me down and made me afraid to speak my truth and prophesy over people.

Today I suddenly heard God clearer than ever and was not afraid.

Even if it’s God asking me to do strange things like ask for 5 rupees, which of course he didn’t have.

I said 5 is the number of grace, and explained grace to him.

Would you consider making a love offering to see More people come to Jesus?

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Partner With Me!

Hey friends!

Do my live videos and messages encourage and empower you? I need your help to continue doing this for you.

Consider sowing a seed into souls and into what God is doing through me to set captives free, proclaim the year of freedom and heal the sick. Thanks for your contribution and continual support and prayers to touch lives by the blood of Jesus!

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Another way to support is to buy a shirt, sweatshirt or tank top!

I have 1 order right now but need 4 more in order to even get them produced. I want to see my design produced.

Click here to order from all sizes, colors and styles. https://www.bonfire.com/you-are-enough-12/

1% of People Marry Their First Love

That’s what my friend said, to comfort me in my momentary despair.

I said “why do I have to meet guys who aren’t going to be my husband and then experience the heart break and pain? While I see people who just meet that one right person and seem to live happily ever after, or sure, with some issues in marriage”.

“There’s still some work to be done, deeper wounds that need to be healed” says another friend.

I’m 31. I don’t know how many more need to be healed but seems like an unending drama.

Like one of those dramas that are dragged on so that time can pass for no good reason but they have nothing to show on tv.

How come other people seem to have no issues….or maybe it’s just because they choose to settle for someone who has issues that they also have…and both refuse to heal or grow from it. Instead these couples live in their codependent miseries.

That really makes me feel better.

I am just choosing not to settle.

I could have settled with my ex, who was emotionally absent and had a wall that couldn’t be knocked down.

I could have settled for an alcoholic.

I could have settled for a selfish man.

So sure I see many who married and seem to have beautiful lives but who knows what’s behind the curtain? Most people don’t share their problems with the world. It’s better to smile for the camera and post a picture perfect marriage.

Well, my healing journey has not been easy. Having been single for 5 years the last year God gave me a dream where he showed me pictures of men like on tinder and said “get ready”.

Sure enough, the matches came.

But none were really it.

Something was always missing.

The main ingredient- an unfaltering and unwavering commitment to follow Jesus at any cost.

Sure I met good Christian men too, but they were half committed to Jesus. I would prophesy something over them and many of them are still where they are last year. I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m just saying I need to have the same level of faith with my hubby.

I can’t be dragged down trying to convince someone.

I met non Christian men too. But it was obvious their sole agenda was lust or longed for someone to fill the void that only Jesus could fill.

I healed from my issues and am still discovering if there are any more.

1. I had major trust issues because my dad cheated on my mom- God brought me people that were trustworthy and I realize men can be trusted, just need to be the right person.

2. My dad did not provide growing up and I realize that I want a man that loves to provide.

3. I cannot be with an alcoholic. I need someone who is completely filled with Jesus and His spirit.

4. Emotional vulnerability is key to the man I am supposed to be with. This man doesn’t just talk about work or how his day was but he talks about how he feels.

5. Honesty – I realize is everything and will break the thickest emotional wall.

Give a love offering or donate to support me in healing people on this earth-thank you!

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Testimony in Pune

Pune- testimony.

Yesterday God said you have to go to pune. This morning two hours before my train God said I have to catch the 12:10 one. A man gave me directions at the snack counter, in the same car, the man sat next to me. Crazy. On the train I prayed about where I should stay and found a few but one host’s name kept flashing in my mind. And a vision of twin beds that was in the room. Sure enough he accepted.

However he told me he was about to block out the dates because his caregiver had an emergency and had to leave so he wasn’t going to accept anymore guests. Somehow my booking came in and he accepted.

Two college age girls helped me get a cab and made sure I was okay. I told them Jesus loves them.

When I arrived the host said he gave me the room with a private bathroom since I’m a woman but a boy wanted my room. I asked to see his room (examining the soundproofing of the room) then met him.

Later I tried to book food on ubereats but failed and I heard God say “eat out”. At the same time the boy was going out to eat. I asked to come with.

During dinner the young man told me his dad is paralyzed. He told me this happened 5 years ago and that he was shot in the arm 3 years ago and he said that he saw his friend get shot when he was 12.

When I got back to the Airbnb I kept hearing God say “switch rooms with him”. I didn’t understand. But I remember God often spoke in symbolism. Then I knew I wasn’t finished.

I got to share my testimony with him. I shared how I never felt like I was enough for my mother but Jesus set me free to know I’m enough because of His finished work on the cross.

As I prayed over him I saw that he would punch a punching bag and it would hit him back. I also said he needed to forgive his dad. I said that he was enough and he’s done enough. He said karma.

I said Jesus came to give you grace and I explained why he has been forgiven for his sins and that Jesus took on the punishment. I asked if he wanted to have a relationship with Him but he said he had too many trust issues with religion as the hand life dealt him was shitty.

I said God sent me to let him know that He hasn’t forgotten him.

When the spirit leads, even if you run you run to your assignment.

Sow a seed- thank you!

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