So I’m turning 23 in like 3 weeks, or less, I’m not sure. Honestly, I don’t know what to think of it. All I know is that I’m tired of planning things and usually I feel like people have to have fun if it’s something I planned. So I’m not going to plan anything for my birthday. I’m tired of planning and I hope it’ll still be a good 23. I get so stressed out about taking care of other people, I need to take care of myself and treat myself better. I need to relax this new year and do things for myself.

I want to dye my hair like that. It’s rad.

I don’t know how I’m still alive, but I guess personalities like these exist so we can get things done in the world. Or else, people would be so calm and lazy and not get anything done right? Breathe.

It’s hard for students to understand why grown ups, or people working are always tired.

Well, I didn’t know until I started working. For some reason, energy is depleted by 5pm most days.

I sleep around 11 and don’t ever get enough sleep.

Grad school, school, any schooling will just not compare to work. Five days a week.

Perhaps perhaps sprinkled with time
Womens pain
Oh eruptions of blood
Perhaps women you can love yourself
Just as I’ve loved you
When birth came you
Like child of peace
You are still the princess
The beauty and I love you with an everlasting love

I can’t believe I’m going to jay chou’s concert. I’m super uber excited!! And also I just had super good pho. Awesome!!

2010 was pretty awesome- some highlights and now I think about it, wow, I went through a lot.

• Graduating from college- FIDM in June
• A week later going to China, then Taiwan, then Hong Kong
• Arriving back to LA and then finding a job within the 2 weeks I was back

The one thing I know that has impacted me most, every year really are the people I meet. People are so complex, intricate, full of depth and unexplainable wonder. Serious, I can’t say that enough. People intrigue me.

Some of my awesome friends. Thank you for always being there for me!

This year I finally got to go to Santa Cruz. YAY.

More highlights-

• Climbing the Great Wall, night markets in Taiwan
• Beach in Kaoshiung, Dancy and seeing Peter again
• Climbing Alishan mountain and seeing the sunrise
• The great things I learned with Devon, having a broken car and driving it down a street/overheating
• Dancing with Clare, Shaina, Maggie, Jessie, Tu
• In Santa Cruz when that old korean manager told me to shut up  and I said shut up back
• 10-11 days of rain in Los Angeles
• Going to the showrooms in Hong Kong and eating foodie, seeing the fashion business in Asia
• Living alone for a few weeks in Taipei
• Riding my bike through the traffic of crazy Beijing and eating the spicy foods on a stick
• Getting connected to Faces Behind Labels- helping migrant workers in China

Yang min shan mountain in Taipei.

And a great way to end the year, house party and dancing to electro/house.

Love is like throwing watermelons and eating them up

Love is like i don’t know, hard to describe, hard to explain

love hurts good and leaves you blind

it’s more complicated than you’ll ever know, yet as simple as a dove flying off a tree branch

you can think about it or you can live it

Love is like watermelon delicious but gone fast

death is not some weird theme that plays out only in coffins

death is something that dies in your heart

death is a like a hallow eve on christmas morning

when presents are empty and no one is home

when you alone lie on your bed, waiting for your time to fall silently into your own labeled coffin

death is something that I welcome because

my soul will leave this heavy body

which only carries that heart which

like i said, had heart surgery

heart surgery

bright lights dim lights

those lights that shine on holidays, the lights that flash while I wait for the train  to pass

the cars waiting behind me, oblivious, i turn and spin making a 180

heart surgery,

like skin burning, flaking, skinning off

like skin with blood and brain and guts, eating flesh

everyone needs it, heart surgery

tears and flames, sometimes i wish

that i could walk towards death and meet God

complain and waver and sit on this orange carpet

im waiting for death, the only thing that I can glory in

because this heart surgery

is a little overwhelming,

It didn’t give me some numbing drugs to soften the effect of this impact so hideous and ugly

I guess heart surgery is something we all need

This was filmed in Summer 2010 when I backpacked through Taiwan/Asia. In September I took the bus up to Alishan Mountain, one of the most beautiful mountains in Taiwan by myself and what occurred was a personal journey of discovery. I woke up at before 4 am to take the train and watch the sunrise.

That earth is not my home.

On my way down the mountain I wrote this.
Taiwan
Just watched the sunrise
Train shadows
Pictures and love
Hugs like moon and sun back to back
Help us move forward now
Lovely monopoly
This tree frolicking burns of clay
Dancing to the beam
Softly caressing
My heart
As I gaze
Nature and I, caught in an embrace
Even though I sit
The suns warm smile
Makes me blush
Alone but surrounded by ever inch of God’s love
Freedom, peace like lying down on beds
of petals and greens
Oh though they stare
I am not intimidated
My whole being glows with anticipation
I am more than a stranger
A pilgrim
I am a sojourner passing 80 or more years
On this created masterpiece
But this is not my home.

Filmed, Written, Created by Rebekka Lien

Super human. This breath of life, this something, this something possessing this body of mine.

I wake up at 7:30am, lying in bed, hating the cold.

This breath of life, it’s 7:50, trudging and changing in 10 minutes.

I’m up for 8 hours working, working, sitting and thinking.

I go home and lift boxes and boxes, from memories of high school to 22.

It’s superhuman, I wash clothes, pack sales and post products by 10.

I don’t know what I am, but something must be super-human, in me. Not, me- but something possessing me.

It’s this breath of life. Oh, tomorrow. Tomorrow.

I sit again, it’s 11:28 pm.

Oh Tomorrow tomorrow.