The Anointing Came With A Cost


Korean academy kids I met in Singapore hostel

Usually I wake up in the middle of the night and the blog post start running through my head, it’s like a dictation from God. I have to wait until the morning to write it sometimes since I’m using the hostel computer nowadays.

The anointing came with a cost.

To have the boldness, the courage to go from country, city to city like apostle Paul did traveling exactly like how the disciples did, it took being crushed.

In 2014, I broke up with my ex boyfriend who I knew wasn’t my husband. At that time I lost many friends. I thought my world was falling apart but God was actually preparing me. He told me to sell everything and follow Him.

I sold every last piece of my furniture. I had an apartment, a car. I returned the new car. Before I had believed a lie that I needed to be successful in the world to be a light, that if I could become rich and famous then I could really preach the gospel and be a light. But it was a lie from hell.

I needed to be stripped of everything that did not carry the power of the holy spirit. Everything that was created by my own means, everything that my flesh strove to attain, that I needed to be stripped away from.

From then on, I just followed where His spirit led me. I ended up in Hawaii for 2 weeks, I came back and didn’t tell anyone. The Lord would lead me and tell me where to stay. I stayed with my friend for a week, then months, then I went to Thailand and went through Southeast Asia as He instructed me.

A lot of the countries I’ve been to on this trip I’ve actually been to before. I saw the holy spirit work mightily. It was only a glimpse of the anointing I carried because I still had to be healed of a lot of things.

I had to be crushed.

This crushing came in the form of living with my mom.

For the first time in my 28 years of living I was being supported by my mom. I felt unworthy and ashamed but in resting I learned that I was a child of God and not an orphan. I received things that I could never afford on my own while I was slaving away as a freelancer, like a gym membership for example. But I also got attacked verbally, accused about my life, relatives turned on me, called me lazy and selfish. I had worked since the age of 8 and yet, that was not enough.

I was learning grace and this grace called me child, not an orphan.

The last of my days as an orphan, I found myself at church and the Lord asked me to give everything I had. I had $200, $700 lacking of rent and rent was already late. God asked me whose house I was building, His or mine.

So I surrendered.

I didn’t have rent for one month, then two months, then I knew it was time to move on.

I didn’t have rent money but I had peace.

That was the beginning of being crushed. Crushed so I could have the anointing that crushing comes with.

There is not one person that I come into contact with that I don’t pray for. Sometimes I pray for wounded ankles, infected ears, pain in the body.

I see that God truly heals hearts and bodies.

And that the kingdom is worth living for.

Romans 10:13-14

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

Matthew 24:14

and this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

There is much spiritual territory to take this year. God has already told me several countries and cities that I need to go to (Australia, New Zealand, India). It will take finances. Yesterday I had a dream that someone wrote me 2 checks, one for $2000 and one for $200. Then some guy said “whatever you want, please tell me and I’ll put it on the table”.

So the new goal is $2200 for whatever is coming up. Australia- Perth, Cairns, etc. 

Thank you for those who have been ministry partners and have been sending me out in obedience to the Lord. I pray the Lord protect and bless you.